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Sharlua

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Sharlua last won the day on May 28 2016

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About Sharlua

  • Rank
    Established Member
  • Birthday 14/03/59

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Newcastle upon Tyne
  • Interests
    Gardening, reading, baking, nights out, cycling slowly!

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  1. Well done for making it through that first year you have achieved so much. I hope fatigue does gradually get better and I know sometimes over two years later I have a sudden pain in head and freeze thinking is another SAH. I don't think it will ever leave I just manage it better. I wish you much luck for the future Sharon xx
  2. Welcome Wayne and pleased to see you have found us. Very early days in your recovery and as a SAH is such a shock it does bring about some rollercoaster emotions and physical impacts. I had a SAH over two years ago, luckily mine was coiled but it took a good six months to feel slight recovery and probably this year to feel more like my old self. I had time where I felt I hit a brick wall my memory in early days was terrible, still not 100% but I now don't get so embarrassed by it. A illness like this does impact on family and sorry that has led to family taking advantage, hopefully as you recover more you will gain strength to challenge this. I do hope you have some support as it is vital, this group will be happy to share experiences and provide a listening ear, sometimes it is hard for others to understand the trauma of a brain injury. i wish you well in your recovery and link forward to hearing more from you. Alaska is definitely on my bucket list to visit but not I guess so close for medical emergencies. Take care Sharon
  3. So sorry to hear how you are feeling Jan some excellent advice from others. I do agree perhaps go back to GP or seek some counselling/therapeutic support independently. You are not unlike any of us who have hit brick walls at different times and where families fail to understand, often this comes out in anger and arguments. Remember dealing with loss is a journey where you go through many emotions often swaying between them all, SAH has seen such losses for you particularly having to give up your business and also loss of some physical abilities. Families and friends often don't pick up signals we are struggling or need their support perhaps you could try writing them a letter to help them understand if you cannot face a meeting. Mine were great at the time of event but after leaving hospital found it difficult to understand my recovery was only just beginning. After counselling I also understood I often gave them very mixed messages and wanted something they could not give, to take away my feelings of depression, sadness and anger. unconsciously I was blaming stress of taking on a caring role for mum, giving up a home I loved and pressure at work. None of these probably contributed to my SAH, I think I was also jealous about life just continuing as normal for them - that green demon does play with your mind. Just remember you have so much more to give, achieve and that things will improve slowly. Perhaps see a life coach to help you look at your strengths, and to explore opportunities you have not looked at. From your posts you have great empathy, sense of humour and good people skills all valuable assets. I am not sure if you have any close friends who can also help, of course we also here to support. I know you will survive this blip, you have survived so much worse. Sharon x
  4. Sorry I missed this but hope the day went well and you celebrated your SAH survival. Life is hard when you have parents or relatives that need care, guilt never leaves you and there is often a conflict between what is best for you and the person you care for. I often have this caring for my mum but need escape to recharge and carry on. My mum is not too bad but little by little I see her diminish. There will not be a right or wrong in what you decide but go with what feels right to you and your health xX
  5. Late response but welcome to site very early days in your recovery and you are bound to be both reeling from shock, it is very scary both for those of us who have suffered SAH and for our family and close friends. I am pleased your fiancé and nurses were more vigilant and insisted on further exploration. I wish you lots of luck in your recovery which whilst is hard it does get better. Regards Sharon x
  6. Sorry to hear you're feeling low Jan I believe no medic really knows the depth of the brain and the recovery it can make so never give up hope that things will improve. Counselling helped me as I have said before, they helped me express my anger, reframe and just having someone external who is not emotionally involved was really useful. You have come a long way and you are bound to grieve for the old life you would not be normal. I am sure you will progress or gain more acceptance of the new you. Sharon x
  7. Hi Crispy Welcome to site, pleased you have found us. After my SAH I became very depressed I too did seek support and counselling helped. I am fine now but it took a while, it is early days and having your mobility issues must add to this. I too tried a holiday just after SAH and again found it too exhausting and too soon. I think that having a SAH is a tremendous shock to the system and naturally it has some impact on your emotions you are doing the right thing speaking to GP, hopefully you will also get lots of support from this site. regards Sharon xx
  8. So sad news really gutted for you, guess words don't convey the amount of dedication, love, care and fight that both of you have given. Your love for each other shone through your posts and that can never be taken away. Take Care Paul my thoughts are with you x Sharon x
  9. Hoping and praying that she makes a speedy recovery x. Take care
  10. Welcome Jenni, sorry to hear about your husband it must be very hard for partners. Good advice from all the others but I know Financial worries are hard at this time, as others have said check out sick pay entitlement, if you have a mortgage check to see if you could either pay interest only, or take a payment break or claim housing benefit if renting. Don't hesitate to seek advice as earlier you get this can ease your stress at this difficult time, not sure if hubby in Union as they can often offer advice too. It took me 5 months before I was able to return to work but I did not have a drain/shunt and then like Sarah had phased return, luckily I had good sick pay conditions. I am hoping you will find a new job soon, although that may not be on the cards until you are sure about hubby's recovery. Hoping hubby continues to progress Sharon
  11. Warm welcome Kerryn, pleased that the site has helped it certainly helped me in those early days. I similarly had an aneurysm successfully coiled, although continue to be monitored due to size and location of the aneurysm. Headaches were awful in my early recovery and I did wonder if I would always have them, thankfully they are not as frequent now. It is very early days and I know it must have been a very worrying period for you and your family. I remember the night before my coiling and the anxiety of whether it would work, I also worried about not being able to work. I still have messages I wrote to my family on my phone just in case! I hope you continue to make a good recovery but as advised by some excellent posts listen to your body, pace yourself and expect some good and bad days as a bit of a roller coaster. Take care Sharon
  12. Welcome to the Forum Steve, I am pleased you are feeling better. I was treated in the RVI and also received excellent support. Those first weeks are difficult I remember them well although I was lucky my bleed was slight and I did not need a drain. I had anuerysm which was coiled still being monitored due to size and location. It is a slow journey with good days and bad, more good days now 2 years later so take it slow and listen to your body. A traumatic brain bleed is scary and physical and mental after effects are not always visible so be kind to yourself. I wish you lots of luck in your recovery and look forward to hearing how you get on. Regards Sharon
  13. Welcome Gemma sorry to hear about mum but pleased she is making a good recovery. Whilst I cannot advise on whether she is safe to fly and take the heat, only a Doctor could provide that advice, I can tell you of my experience. I had a SAH in Jan 2015, due to a bleed from an aneurysm - fortunately mine was coiled and I did not have any after effects like mum from her clipping. I had a holiday booked for the March with my family with son coming over from America to fly with us to Lisbon, I was very nervous about it as was still very fatigued and at that time suffering real bad heads and suffering leg pains. Consultant said I was safe to fly and relaxing may help me as was quite depressed. I did go, it was for me a bit early and I found it quite tiring, I could not keep up the pace with my family, who tried very hard but I think could not understand my fatigue or inability to cope with even low level activity. Lisbon was hilly so I don't think that helped and was very busy, as well as beautiful. I think it will depend on how your mum feels and if doctors agree it's safe, you may need to be led by her. If she does decide to go I would advise building in total relaxation days and taking things at a slower pace. I do wish her well and I know for families who have had to watch someone go through this they also need time to recover as it is psychologically very stressful and frightening, so I do hope you take care too. Look forward to hearing how mum gets on and hope you have the lovely wedding you have planned Sharon x
  14. A warm welcome to the Forum and I am sure it will provide some support to you both. Sounds like a really difficult period for you both, but really impressed with the strength you have both shown. I know this will be an emotional period adjusting to the complications left from the SAH but already what may seem like small steps are great strides after such a bleed. I could not sleep well for months after my SAH, I found I had to just accept short naps - not always possible I appreciate. It is good that you are taking each day as it comes, that is the best approach and the brain is a fantastic thing which finds so many ways to repair or find different pathways. As others have said you need to also look after yourself as I was pretty hard work for my family post SAH, happy one minute, tearful or angry the next. They definitely needed an outlet; you had to go through this too, watching and waiting so please seek all the support you need. I hope things do improve but sometimes just accepting the changes or new life created by the SAH is part of this improvement. Take Care Sharon x
  15. Welcome Phil some excellent responses from others, mine was a bleed from anuerysm luckily not a large bleed but did have a large anuerysm so was extremely lucky it did not kill me and was able to be coiled successfully. Just had recent MRI and still occluded bar a tiny neck but going just to continue to monitor. Consultant told me I am no more likely to suffer another SAH than anyone else, but probably in better position as being monitored. Like Others have mentioned everyone's recovery is different however there are many things that we share fatigue, emotional see-saw, memory issues and sometimes concentration. I work in high stress field too and I returned just short of six months. I struggled with my memory like your's mine was variable, worse under pressure and knocked my confidence particularly as had to make decisions daily which impact on others. It has improved but I still have times when it's not good, I think your brain just has to find new routes to get the information or compensate for those parts that were damaged by the bleed. I am much less embarrassed by it now. I don't think my ability to manage stress has changed but physically it does have impact on headaches. They told me that there is not enough evidence to link SAH to stress, however I think mine does have some genetic link, my sister has aneurysms and my aunt died of one. I went back full time although I did do a phased return and then worked 37 hours over 4 days - not something I would advise as absolutely shattered on Friday. Just changing jobs now, slightly less stress smaller team to manage but will work 37 over full week initially. If you can afford 30 hours I'd keep it for as long as possible as first 12 months were hard. I was very afraid in the first year, thinking every symptom related to my SAH, I don't think it ever leaves but it is less now and I think it gets better with time I wish you luck in your recovery, we are probably the very lucky ones who get to come on here and I know this site is so supportive. Regards Sharon