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paul99

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About paul99

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    Senior Member
  • Birthday 24/05/48

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  • Location
    west midlands
  • Occupation
    retired
  1. thank you Karen it has taken me by surprise im pleased others have supported you and please pass my grateful thanks onto them again a very humbled paul xxxx
  2. hello my dearest friends thank you for all your lovely response's it has helped and supported me to come to terms with Linda's passing which has been very painful however im going to try and put a copy of lins service card on here and possibly a picture of lins flower tribute before it was placed on the casket however I will also stop posting on this page as I feel lin would like to support others who are going through the same situation as we have gone through I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for both lin and me I feel extremely humbled by your tributes and care and love you have shown us both god bless you all and thank you I will listen to the music which has been lovingly put on Linda's page by the special person who I think knows how much it means to me god bless you all my love paulxxxx PS may I also thank everyone who donated in lins memory to BTG I am stunned and so grateful my heart really is so so grateful that you found it in your hearts to support Karen and the site god bless you and thank you
  3. my darling friends thank you to the lovely person who was able to transfer the music onto lins page you are not alone means so so much to me I played it in 2008 when lin was in hospital after the collapse and the vocals just reduces me to tears with memories of 2008 through to today the song really allows me to express how I feel today and the tears just flow because if I could sing I would but thank you for a lovely gesture which I will always treasure god bless you and thank you xx
  4. My dearest friends, Thank you for your condolences. Its been very hard to come to terms with lins death so suddenly and so quickly. Trying to arrange things has brought its own trials and tribulations. However plans have now been confirmed for Lins funeral. Its going to be a very simple cremation on the 19th of may at 0930 at Stafford crematorium and after which, I will retain Lins remains until I pass away and then we will be interred together, as we have been in life. The songs are: "You Are Not Alone" played on pan pipes. If you wish, you can listen to the rendering on You Tube and leaving on Dolly Parton's 9 to 5. Lin would have been proud and so grateful to you all, for supporting me through the last 8 years plus and would have liked to have thanked you in person if she could have, God bless you all. Daffodil has suggested that those who wish to donate to charity and would you mind if I asked you for those who wish to donate to BEHIND THE GRAY please, in Linda's name as I believe Karen would use it to support this important site, which is the only site in the world who caters for survivors of sah's and strokes with support from survivors who wear the tee shirt with pride and hopefully it will be part of Linda's legacy. I will pop on now and then and will try to support those who need help. God bless you all and thank you from the bottom of my heart words cannot express how I feel, but my love goes out to each and everyone of you with gratitude, humble appreciation to you all. God bless each and everyone of you xxxxxpaul
  5. Maria im not sure about the usa way of treating patients is it a nursing home or is it a centre where further input is given can you ask his family over there what the plan is for your fella it could be where rehab is more readily available along with nursing care I hope so which is a good thing and if you can get the number of where he being sent to you can ask pain in the bum time again but don't get despondent yet hugs and cuddles
  6. hi pj Don't start self medicating, Your body wont accept it. With the trauma your brain has undergone stop take time out. Booze is not the brains friend. It takes three months or more for the blood to dissipate from your spine, every one wants too race back to full health straight away. It doesn't happen like that, it takes time. Everyone who has a bleed has a different rate of recovery you are not exempt if your body needs sleep then let it sleep. Don't fight it. The sooner you accept that things are happening at a slower pace then let it. It is possible your doctor does not understand sah's and its legacy. As Clare said see a neuro psychologist or a clinical psychologist to help you through the bad patch you are going through. In the early days of recovery there are more bad days than good. Talk to your boss ask him to look on here, it will give him an insight as to what you are going through because its ignorance that they are not more forgiving and understanding I would also suggest that you speak to the gp about the drug you are using for headaches as its also used for other symptoms. Use conventional pain killers. I think the drug you are using may be responsible for the nightmares There is no shame in seeking help from those who understand your situation i.e. the neuro psychologist or clinical psychologist as soon as you can And DONT YOU DARE THINK ABOUT CHECKING OUT OF THIS WORLD. Your family needs and wants you in their life. They want you back, and as soon as you feel able see the drs and get help. We are here, your life and family are more important, so is your happiness. Slow down, take a deep breath and seek help and if its necessary change jobs. Drink plenty of water, slow down. You have a second chance of life, grab it and enjoy with help Regards and I hope you take things on board. Wishing you well. We are always here for you
  7. Maria im sorry I seemed to have missed your posts totally and I apologise to you and your partner. I know how you feel, lost desolate and not knowing what to do but as many have said previously and as someone who has been through the mill , time is a great healer. Rehab takes so so much out of the person and it is a very slow process. I think as long as he is making progress he could be in rehab for four to six months I think but surprises' do come .. One day at a time but he will surprise you when you don't expect it and those days will light you up so much and it wont be such a horrible feeling being so far away from him. I know a certain person who went to rehab a bit later than I wanted and she blew me away. You know your partner, he is a fighter have faith that he will make as much progress as he can.in his own time. There will be sunlight soon for both of you, take a deep breath rant and rave on here and then take another deep breath and carry on with hope in your heart. Put the misgivings under a rock and look forward to a happy future, its hard but I do believe you can do it, hugs and cuddles to you both paul
  8. my darling friends it is with a ripped apart heart and still in shock Linda passed away at 0545 this morning in hospital I cant express how I feel losing my darling sole mate my mind is all over the place at the moment sorry love to you all xx Paul
  9. just a quick update friends lin has been rushed into hospital and is suffering pneumonia and apparently lins kidneys have taken a hit and her sugar levels are through the roof even though she is not diabetic sorry its so short but im back to the hospital love to all xx
  10. hugs and cuddles sweetheart and thank you
  11. hi palhuc The peg can stay in for quite a while but as hubby puts weight on once he proves he is stable they will remove it when the time is right. Please don't take hubby not talking to you too much to heart I think its because you are tired and exhausted I've been there and got the tee shirt I've been visiting every day for nearly 9 years come the 26 august this year or is it ten but since lin has been in the home I have taken time out once in a while which is really important for you own sake. Take time out drop to two days to give your body and mind to really come to terms of what you have gone through with hubby and try to regain your strength Do you have friends or family you could visit say over a long weekend away from you home environment it may sound harsh, but I did it for the first time after 9 months although, I slept while my friends held my phone just in case and when I went back to the home... boy did I feel a lot better! Yes I did check every day by phone but I did feel a great deal better on my return I would expect that phyiso could come in with there input to help hubby with his hands, take care
  12. hi palhuc that's not a silly question, its one many carers ask. the answer is nobody knows how someone recovers and how far they go. everyone is different. its like the question -how long is the piece of string? everyone is unique and only they can answer that question sorry take one day at a time and be prepared for the odd step backwards now and then hugs and cuddles
  13. hi palhuc really pleased about hubby and achieving the swallow reflex. now he could start to eat proper meals, albeit slowly, you don't want to slide back which shows in his witty replies to you. great stuff. I would now request a meeting with the case worker and ask why the surgeon is still involved and why he has not referred him. insist that hubby is reviewed by a neurologist from a rehab centre as a priority. the pressure area is of some concern but there are some exercises which can be done and if the vac therapy is working then it hopefully shouldn't be long before his restrictions will be lifted. im sorry if I am out of line giving you such advice in the respect of btg rules but you need to seek help from someone. are you allowed to approach the rehab centre directly? if so do so ask for help. are they saying you cant look after hubby if he came home? is the house suitable for wheelchair? has anyone tried a wheelchair at home? there is so much to take into account are you strong enough to care for hubby if he came home? I wanted lin home but due to the stress and aggravation I've had with hospitals my health suffered big time with heart attacks and the ensuing health issues. I know lin is safe and I see her everyday all day and we can still do what we want, so there is hope no matter how long it takes. take care xx
  14. hi palhuc I understand what you are saying but put a formal request in to the hospital and ask for a neurologist to come in from a rehab centre to review hubby and see what he says because he will be the expert if they refuse then take it to the hospital manager or director because what they are doing is immoral as macca says there is so little known about the brain and that's the problem. I presume you and hubby are insured im sorry if im wrong but the earlier rehab get him the better as for forcing him to shave his beard that is unforgivable ask him when you are alone if it was his own choice to take it off or if he was coerced to take it off know there are many on here who have suffered grade four and five make an impressionable recovery's she is talking rubbish my story is under the carers section my darling lin which shows how I have had to deal with what happened good luck hugs and cuddles make sure you take time for yourself xx
  15. Hi Palhuc Thank you for replying, yes six months is still very early in his recovery but the option of improving is still there and will be for a long time yet that part never stops. Yes I do understand about the D, Lins Dr was the same, it makes me angry when I see or hear about it from others. The Surgeon has done his job but he should have handed hubby over to a Neurologist for on going rehab the Neurologist is the Specialist. I think from what you are saying, the vac therapy was working then stopped, could be because they couldn't get a total seal around the wound hence the failure to continue healing and the restart commencing again. I think that you should insist that hubby be referred to a rehab centre which I know they have in Canada. Yes, Karen set up BTG here in the UK as a result in her incident and it has been a God send to me and to all who have joined and viewed the site. BTG has many people from all over the world coming on getting answers and support which has not been forthcoming from the hospitals from which people get reassurances and the knowledge that they are not alone. There are people going or have gone through exactly the same scenario as yourself. Please keep us updated, good luck.