Lauren D

It's more than 10 years post my SAH. I've made an excellent recovery but due to the challenges I've had to face during this time I've suffered from considerable anxiety, however successfully overcame the worst of this in recent years. Last year I was moved to another work place due to restructuring and shortly afterwards I was put on strict performance management and from comments made by my manager it was apparent that I was being deemed inadequate in some way. Due to the processes put in place my job is under threat and I eventually became unwell and have been signed off sick from work. I am taking advice and I following things up in all the right ways. In my previous workplace my managers were well aware of the SAH and the impact on my anxiety levels and supported me enabling me to perform to the best of my abilities and I have almost completed a degree but have had to put the last part on hold due to being unwell. It has occurred to me that this might be discrimination and I was told by someone who was meant to be supporting me that no-one who has had an SAH recovers completely. I would be interested to hear from anyone else who might have been discriminated against because of their SAH.

Hi All I had to undergo a varicose vein procedure a couple of months back, have been suffering leg injury since the marathon and couldn't run or play tennis, so decided to stop ignoring the nasty red mark on my ankle. It turned out to be varicose eczma which meant I had to get the vein done. Fortunately my private insurance covered it as they wouldn't pay for this laser procedure on the NHS. As they wanted to do it under a general I was a bit worried and contacted my neuroradiologist and he told me that to all intents and purposes the aneurysm is no longer of consequence as it's completeley occluded so not to worry. However, I'm so glad I checked with him first because when I met the anaesthetist just before the operation he did appear a bit disconcerted and unsure until I reassured him I'd spoken with my specialist at Kings'. So just worth a mention in case anyone else has to have something done - I think we have to remember we are the experts on the subject of SAH and all that goes with it. Lauren

Well done Karen. You should be really proud of what you have achieved. Lauren

Hi Linda Though I was not clipped and only coiled I did have that awful wait for 12 weeks for the second op and as I was back at work (never realised how much work meant to me till I had the SAH!) that helped pass the time but it was hard to fill in the time not worrying. I was able to go swimming which helped me and had to stay quiet to keep on top of things - I couldn't really talk about it to anyone - but you can share your fears here and see if you can find things which might help take your mind off it which you feel up to and try not to stretch yourself beyond what you feel like doing. Don't try to push yourself just now. Hope you managed to get hold of BSF. Best wishes Lauren

Hi Linda I am sure you will find lots of answers to your questions and everyone here is so kind and helpful you're in safe hands. Lauren

A bit down tonight well, often, but I'm training for the FLM. I feel selfish as I'm so lucky really does anyone else get that guilt thing? Perhaps it's not SAH just me I don't feel I'm doing enough ... does anyone else identify with that? Why doesn't it all just go away like appendicitis after the op?

Hi all I'm just so relieved to learn that I'm not the only one who has had ongoing PTSD. I was fine when it happened then lost consciousness for 2 days and could only remember vague shadows and as my family didn't want to talk about it and shut me out as it were I went into denial and I think that really triggered it off. I'm still trying to unravel it and make sense of it all and although I don't appear as having PTSD it's left a bit of a legacy of issues which I'm continuing to work through with a counsellor. I think this article will be helpful to explain why I get so distressed at times. The first year was the worst really but then SAH combined with a slower functioning brain and memory loss and other people unable to understand is traumatic. My best wishes to everyone who is going through this part of the experience - just knowing it's "normal" helps and there's loads of support here. Lauren

Feeling a lot better. It's helped to be able to sound off on here without being judged as it's stopped me blowing a fuse these last couple of months. I've decided to get off my high horse and just go along with things as they are ... and put up with texts and no conversation or meetings as better than nothing. Mum is deteriorating her short term memory is very short now and I just want to concentrate on having as much good quality time with her as I am able whilst we still can. I hope to get her up to the Mall on the 26th April if she is well enough and I'm hoping that my sister will bring her, I live in hope of reconciliation so had better try to be more tolerant ... I can only try.

Thanks LizBeth - they cannot cancel you a 3rd time or you will breach and there are penalties. Check out with PALS if you need any details. It's so unfair. Lx

May I add my congratulations too!!! Well done in the cause. Donna just to let you know I'm in the patient leaflet produced by the Brain and Spine Foundation - SAH 2004 and recoiled 2006. My only claim to fame! Lauren

I was out with Mum in a restaurant we regularly go to last night and I have been unable to tolerate the noise of the chairs scraping on the wooden floor since the SAH and won't go there if it's crowded. I still won't go anywhere crowded or too noisy, but Mum noticed, in spite of her dementia, that I'm not so sensitive as I was even a year ago and I was so glad to realise that this has got better. The visual sensitivity was really overwhelming for the first 6 months / year. Then it gradually started to subside. I still like open spaces and not feeling crowded, but I was a bit like that anyway it just made me more aware of what I'm like. I was amazed when the BSF told me it can take several years to readjust but I think I've had a lot of good quality living in spite of these oddities, now I don't worry about what other people think and that's another good sign for me. In some ways I think that hypersensitivity gives us an insight that we wouldn't have otherwise experienced and I'm grateful for it as it helps me in dealing with Mum's dementia and knowing that an altered state of consciousness doesn't lesser a person in any way.

They do go in time, or at least they become manageable. I have to avoid getting exhausted or too stressed, like getting worried about Mum gives me nightmares but mostly they're under control. Also I try not to get frightened if I get them and realise I need to slow down a bit and use them as a guide rather than something which controls me. I try to make sure I address any stress before it overwhelms me and triggers them. Hope that helps. This funny weather with dark nights and storms doesn't help. Come Spring it will all feel much better. Laurenx

Hi Joanne Welcome to BTG. I cannot advise you I can only tell you of my experience and let you draw your own conclusions. I went back after 8 weeks, after 12 they tried to make me go full time. I just found it too much and had to go part time in another department and all was well, however when I went back to my job after 6 months working full time just before my follow up angio, and, knowing they didn't really want me, I wish I'd not put myself through it all now it was just too much. Also for the first year I really couldn't handle too much noise or people being stressed around me as it just rubbed off and made me nervous and was very wearing. I wished I'd just known how to look after myself a bit more! Good luck and best wishes Lauren x

Hi Sharon Sorry I've meant to be catching up with you - how are you? Been a bit caught up with Mum with her stroke and the training etc. but would love to hear how things are with you. Laurenx

Thanks Tina. Solicitor recommends not to pursue it but it's just that I signed everything in good faith and then they've done this to me and to get accountability would get very nasty and I don't want to do that. Guess I should just go out and get a life! Take care Laurenx