weedrea

You're the second person I've heard had a bad accident while cycling in Scotland. I don't think it's Scotland or the bikes that are the problem, it's the cars! You're still early in your recovery and I was very similar with getting overwhelmed in crowds/noisy places. Think of it like if you'd broken your leg you'd not feel ready for a marathon straight away! It's the same with a brain injury. Your brain is still healing/readjusting after the bleed and it takes time to build up the stamina for dealing with lots of noise/people/lights etc. It's all normal recovery feelings. I'm 8 years post bleed and still get those same overwhelming feelings if I get stressed. Taking 20 mins to just lie down is sometimes just enough to give your brain a little break. Andrea x

Are years going by more quickly now? Sure does seem like it! Started conversation with my doc about trying to arrange a check up scan as it's been 4 years since my last scan and I really would like another one for peace of mind.

Congrats Karen on 17 years!! Had a lovely day here, wall to wall sunshine. Think that was the first time this year but of course I had to work all day. Had a little wander down to the sea. Hubby threw the fishing line in but there was no chance of catching anything as there were 6 seals in the bay but it was nice to get out. We got chased away by the midges in the end. Andrea

Another year gone. Not sure I'm any wiser...

Happy anniversary. Hope you had a lovely peaceful day. Andrea x

I agree it could be anxiety. I have been in the same job for over 15 years but I still get tongue-tied and anxious if I have to meet someone new. I have a team that understand my background, but a new person won't understand if I take I few extra seconds to think of a word or answer a question. It gets difficult to stop the anxiety that people are missing you in that moment. I'm not sure what the answer is but all I can suggest is to be kind to yourself. It's part of the learning curve for dealing with what we've been through. My way of dealing with it is lots of breaks, even snoozing for 30mins. Anything to get out of the stressful situation and try to reset. For me it's got a bit better with time (I can't believe I'm a few months away from 7 years since my bleed!) but it definitely kicks in any time I'm stressed or underslept. Andrea X

Congrats on 10 years. My (very scared) husband found your blog when I was in hospital and we both found it a great comfort to know we were not alone at the start of our journey. Thank you for taking the time to write and share your experiences. You provided light during dark times. Thanks Andrea x

...I prefer to call mine Priti Patel - small and malevolent. But let's not get political here! The only thing I will say is having been brought up in Northern Ireland. the "Ulster-isation" of politics in Scotland and the UK more generally is so very depressing. Everything is becoming so polarised, it's them vs us. It makes me so sad. It wasn't until I left NI when I was 18 that I realised the psychological impact of living somewhere constantly on edge. Anyway, back to the point in question. I am quite like you in that I want to know the "why" for everything. I have arthritis in my wrists which I've had since I was a child. About 9 years ago I quit all my medication cold turkey - something I would not recommend to anyone. I was young and foolish! Anyway, I spent the next few years reading everything I could, trying to change my diet, lifestyle etc to "help" my arthritis. Whilst it hasn't "fixed" anything, I have got to the stage of not needing medication and have slowed down the degeneration of my wrists. I know many people would say I'm still being foolish by not taking the meds but I want to understand why it's happening and not just take medication to reduce rather than heal the problem. So when I had my SAH 5 years ago I approached my "research" with similar gusto. I'll say one thing, it is a rabbit hole. And 5 years on I have no real answers. Do I have any of the risk factors for a brain bleed? No Did I have high blood pressure? No - in fact I had low blood pressure! Family history? No Was I exercising too hard? Doubt it Have I always had brain aneurysms? Who knows! Did my low-protein diet in the years before my bleed have an impact? I feel yes it must have. It surely can't be good for vein health to not be eating good quality protein. Did my long-term inflammation from arthritis have an impact? This is one that I can say maybe. Inflammation can damage blood vessels so it'd be logical to think it could have an impact. https://nnjournal.net/article/view/220 And so did my "cold turkey" on the meds make a difference given I wasn't taking anti-inflammatory medication? Possible. I'd always viewed not taking painkillers as good given they can reduce blood clotting. But then I read this and again my answer is, who knows! https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4458147/ My aneurysms haven't grown or changed since my bleed. Has eating meat helped? Probably yes. Has fasting helped? Probably yes https://www.healthline.com/health-news/fasting-can-help-ease-inflammation-in-the-body and https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3695639/ So who knows anything! There's so much uncertainty about how or why brain bleeds happen and that just then that makes it feel like facts and stats are limited. I've resolved to view my bleed as a freak incident, one that will hopefully not happen again. All I can do is be aware of the risk factors and do my best to reduce them. My brother is a doctor and his advice to me was "try not to bang your head"....seriously?! 7 years of study for that wisdom!

The song thrush was out last night in the garden....made me think of Win. x

Welcome! My bleed was from an aneurysm but thankfully was a small bleed. I had 10 days in hospital (surgery on day 2) and was sent on my way with very little information. This site has been so helpful, especially understanding what the first few months would be like from other people's experience. As I say my bleed was small but I still took 3 months before I went back to work and then a further 3 months to get up to full time. During that time I was having daily naps. Even now when I have stressful days at work (like this week!) I go back to having evening naps. Definitely helps to reset yourself. Your theory on why your bleed happened is a bit like mine. I had been exercising WAY too hard in the days before my bleed and definitely feel I pushed too hard and that may have caused it. It's a difficult one because I really want to understand why it happened and "it's just one of those things that can happen" didn't really cut it. After time I found the need for a firm reason abates a little bit (I've no family history, no high blood pressure, don't smoke, don't do drugs!) but it did annoy me for a while. It's the feeling that there's nothing really that could have been done to know about it or indeed stop it takes a while to sink in. As others have said, take it easy on yourself during your recovery. Think of it like a broken leg....it takes a while for everything to heal and for you to gain your strength again. I found my dog was very helpful in my recovery (at the time he was a 14 year old golden retriever...he's just passed his 16th birthday!!). I'd take him 2 min walks, then next week 5 mins etc. Really helped improve my confidence of going out and being by myself (even though it was within spitting distance of home!) . Andrea

Many thanks for all the kind messages. Been a strange day compared to last year - it's been full of "at this time I was leaving you to get on the plane to the hospital...." "This was when I phoned you to say...." etc. Feels like a lifetime ago and a lot has happened since. I know I've been hugely fortunate in my recovery and for that I'm very grateful. And grateful for BTG too. Regardless of where we are in our new journey, this site is a wonderful safe haven for us and the support and kind words from people we'll probably never meet in person is just priceless. Reading your stories of recovery, perseverance and hope have been a real comfort and strength to me (and I'll admit, some have been the bringer of a few tears too!). I seem to have taken it on as my new task to make sure anyone I ever hear about having a SAH or brain injury know about this site! Not sure if they've ever been on the site but I've contacted three complete strangers in the last couple of months who mentioned in passing on Twitter that they'd had an SAH. I wish everyone in our position was aware of this site and the support it offers. Love Andrea x

Today is my two year anniversary...how time flies! I was just about to get up to make a cuppa tea but told my hubby he had to do it as that's what I was doing when I had my SAH. Always pays to be careful! Plus today my GP phoned to say my 2-year scan showed no changes from last year.....YAY!

Glasgow efficiency at its best...in and out in 15 min and left the hospital 10 mins before my actual appointment time. So pjs and toothbrush not required! Now for that long journey home.

I'm travelling to Glasgow on Monday for my 2 year scan following my SAH (end of July 2015). I live an hours drive and an hours flight away from Glasgow on one of the Scottish islands. Last year when I went for my scan my parents met me there for a few days holiday. This time I'll be travelling alone. When I think back to my trip to the local hospital on that fateful night I was grateful my hubby had thought I should take an overnight bag....(I think it was only pjs and a toothbrush but very useful all the same!). I was discharged and and then went back in later in the day for a precautionary scan....3 hrs later I was on the medivac plane (alone) with my slightly under-resourced overnight bag which I'd luckily left in the car. It got me thinking...how do others who have to travel prepare for trips back to hospital? Do I take an overnight bag just in case, phone chargers, a book? Food?! Seems silly to think about it as my trip will see me leaving the house at 7am and be back home by 5.30pm. Does anyone else have a "just in case" bag? Andrea

As others have said, you're still early in your recovery and this is a major trauma you've been through. I had fatigue for about 6 months and I notice still that I cope much more poorly after a bad night's sleep or if I'm stressed. Lots of water and lots of naps...it was a good 4 or 5 months before I stopped my daily half hour nap. Remember this is a big injury so be easy on yourself as it definitely takes a long time to recover/stabilise after it.