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ian264

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About ian264

  • Birthday 24/11/1971

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    Preston, United Kingdom

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  1. Hello Everyone, Well my first 'counselling' session was brief, mainly background and a lot of going over and over the symptoms and allieviations. Ironically I have been better than normal and even took time away to visit some friends in Germany, perhaps it was the relaxation and catching up that took my mind off the pains and issues. Perhaps that sort of distraction is indeed better for us than dwelling on the conditions we suffer. Anyway, the summer is drawing to a close and what good vitamin D there is to extracted from the sun is dwindling, I hope to be as good as this for as long as possible, so thanks to all who kept me up at a pretty low point a few weeks ago. Wether or not it is this purple patch that is making me more positive and gregarious I know not, but after being very much alone for a wee while there is a female in my life again and she is not offput by my condition. Wow, how times change Ian
  2. Hi All, Thank you all so much for your kind words, talking about these things with family is a tough affair - as I guess so many of you understand. There seems to be so many things spinning around in my head at the moment I wish they would all just go away! A miserable day out doesn't improve the situation! I have my first session with a 'therapist' on 7th September, time to bite the bullet approaching.. Well everyone I am going to have a quiet weekend sorting books out, internet and phone off (landline still in just in case). Do as much as possible to focus on going back to work next week - decided to spend a few hours a week demonstrating healthy, low cost eating to families who the system has cast adrift. The sort of charitable work that always improves your esteem. Have a good weekend everyone, take care and thank you all again. ian
  3. Hello all, I have just returned home after eight days in hospital. A visit to the GP with crazy diastolic readings saw me admitted without delay, and the usual raft of tests showed an increase in the 'focal expansion' of the frontal lobe. The consultant was very tactful and did not spare me the details, suffice to say this 'growth' of blood is continuing and the inevitable prognosis seems to be some gradual damage to sensory abilities, but more concerning is the effect it may have on personality. The Consultant is arranging for some one to one counselling and stresses the importance of preparation, so I will do what is necessary. Medication has been increased again, but due to the location of the blood it can't be operated upon, which I always knew - the feeling of being in a 'waiting game' is greater than ever now! But I will keep looking at the routes of help which you kind people have listed, and as the sun is shining my mind is more on walking and tanning than what is going to happen!! But no ice cream sadly... Ian
  4. Thanks to you both SuperMario & Winb143, forgive me from depressing all of you! Songs! Well I'm a hardcore Charlatans & Stone Roses fan, so cheery songs are not so common!! I suppose across the musical spectrum I love - it ranges from Indie (Manchester Indie) to German Classical composers I would chuck in Listen Up (Oasis), Sally Cinamon (Stone Roses) and a wild card of Paradise (Coldplay) If I get started on songs we'll all be here for the next hundred years!!!!! Thank you for putting music in my head, that is always a help - takes me away - oops there's a lyric.. Time keeps rolling by Ian
  5. Hi Winb143 and everyone I understand how being positive and stress free can help in recovery/sustainment, but I'm going to be really honest here and say this, Every day I suffer stress and can't really stop it because of the feeling of living on borrowed time, it affects me in ways that nothing else does. I have no confidence in committing to anything, I see the negative in all offers, plans etc that come along. On a daily basis I don't really have anyone to talk to, and it is a subject friends don't really want to listen to you talking about - well most of them anyway. The very slow deterioration of my condition occupies my mind a hell of a lot, I can't even write a letter, send and email or send a text without having to think about not saying things that might upset others. Work is the only thing that takes my mind off the condition and I work as many hours as I can, which I know is inevitably detrimental. But it seems the only method of coping that I have. I might come over as always looking on the bleak side, but I do struggle especially when I'm on my own, I don't even know what i'm looking for most of time! Sorry to be bleak Ian
  6. Hi all! The RTA was the only head injury I ever suffered other than stupid things like bumping my head on the ceiling on the staircase etc! I just thought the likelihood was that having severe impact injury was a root of the SAH, but thinking about it the injury back in 2003 is unrelated as most of the impact injuries were on the right side of my head. Dieting is not always so easy but cutting out sugars and fats is relatively easy, being a chef helps in some ways, hinders in others as you all can imagine! I do tend to walk more than I used to, I live not too far from the coast and on a good day I can walk there and back in six hours, that is good exercise! I have barely began reading all of your stories but I will persevere and hopefully add something. Best Wishes to Everyone Ian
  7. Thank you all for your responses, I just feel alone sometimes and a bit sorry for myself! The injury history with me is one I often can't correlate, I first received an RTA caused head injury in August 2003 but a full six years elapsed before the eruption, that fails to make a lot of sense to me. After the SAH I was told basically to stop my sport hobbies which were Hill running and rough trek running, this was because of the BP issues effectively linked to having a 'leak; of blood intensified by raised BP. Inevitably I gained weight, not helped by my age and I guess I comfort ate because of the mounting depression. Now I am dieting and drinking pure water rather than coffee or juice, so I am trying to be positive physically. I have a lot to learn as I have been on my own for a few years now, my marriage did not survive sadly, but on some ways that might have been for the best. So I shall read on and listen carefully to you guys. After all we are all here by the grace of god and together we stand. Thanks and love to you all Ian
  8. Thanks for the welcome guys, I feel as if it is hard to say what I need to at times, bear with me! The pains I get are short ones ranging from dull aches lasting a second or two to loner more intense pains that last a little longer. The worst is a piercing pain which sounds high pitched, that leaves me a little wiped out for a short time. Thankfully that one comes very rarely. A rare one is like a cool feeling that spreads across my brain, that one leave me numb for a few minutes, I don't know what it is or how it occurs, like all of the pains unpredictability rules. Almost all of the pain is left side frontal cortex region, but very occasionally I get a pain on the other side, the GP says scans show small expansion on the right a well. The trouble with positivity is that in 2014 I received a letter from a senior neurological consultant - asked for a second opinion by my then consultant - that basically states 'there is no treatment we can offer you'. I try not to let it stop me from working, and living and laughing. But I feel confused as to how I get to walk around and be outwardly healthy looking when so many are not to lucky, I know many on here will not be able to enjoy life the same and that makes me feel sad and perhaps not as worthy as some. I have a lot of reading to do on this great site, I hope I can find some answers, or be of value to someone else. Ian
  9. Hello all, I really don't know where to start. On December 26, 2009 I collapsed during love making with my wife. I remained awake and was taken to hospital where it was diagnosed I had suffered a subarachnoid haematoma. Since then I have been on a cocktail of tablets beginning at 20mg per day to today 85mg per day. The thing is I get sharp, short pains in my head all of the time. MRI scans have been sparse and the consultant says 'there is focal expansion', presumably of a pool of blood or clot - I seem to be in the dark about what prospects I face. My GP simply says I should not plan too far ahead and monitors me on a regular basis as my diasystolic BP can not be controlled. At times I just don't know what to think or do, and trying to see the future positively is incredibly difficult. How many other 'survivors' experience this or am I the odd one?
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