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Macca

Super Moderators
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Macca last won the day on November 16

Macca had the most liked content!

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About Macca

  • Rank
    Super Moderator

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male

Converted

  • Biography
    60 yrs old. Two grown up sons, three grandchildren, two boys and a girl. Got married in September 12 to Sandra. Played for Oldham Athletic in early 1970s. Thankful to have found this site. Visited Hawaii and Pearl Harbor in 2003 to fulfil one off my wish list.
  • Location
    City of Salford UK nr Manchester
  • Interests
    Football (soccer), reading, finding out about SAH, Spitfires, sailing ships
  • Occupation
    retired 11/4/2014
  • SAH/Stroke Date
    1/9/2010 L Ant comm- coiled

Recent Profile Visitors

749 profile views
  1. How life changes

    Hi, This site isn't just or mainly for women. It's for people, men included - like me! When this kind of event hits us, we all need a bit of a lift and this site gives you plenty of guidance and support and allows us all to share our experiences. It's a major trauma your hubby has suffered and SAH is no respecter of age, religion, colour or creed. Anyone can suffer and virtually everyone needs help afterwards. Surely it's better to have the help available and not need it than the other way round. It's no time for pride or obstinacy, it's time to embrace the change and find the best ways to overcome , or adapt, and move forward. There has usually been somebody who has walked the walk beforehand. Why turn it down, it's free and it will help. Good luck, Macca
  2. Hi, Look on the bright side. Your husband will have been scanned and hopefully they would have picked upon the chances of a re-bleed. So there is every reason to be positive going forward. He's a survivor, there is much to be thankful for and every reason to be optimistic. What's the line in the Christmas song - 'look to the future now, it's only just begun............' (Merry Xmas everybody by Slade, I think). It's only natural you are wary about travelling but I've done it many times now and I'm fine. Good luck, Macca
  3. Claire12374 SAH 4 months ago

    Hi Claire, Welcome to BTG! First and most important - yes, you are the same person. All that's happened is that you have had a change of circumstance. You have just undergone a serious event in your life - but you have come through it alive and have been given a second chance at life - well done and congratulations. What you now have to do is re-appraise your life as you recover. For every door that closes, another opens. You may suffer some discomfort as you recover, we all do. The difficult thing to come to terms with is that this change has happened - and it happened when you weren't ready for it and hadn't asked for it. The point is that it has happened whether we like it or not, so what we have to do is take it on the chin, look forwards and not back and take it on to forge a newer, changed life in which we can effectively operate. It isn't easy because the wind will have been knocked out of your sails and you will be impatient to be fully recovered. The chances are that you won't be the same as you were before. None of us are even without a bleed! We don't get young again, we don't go back to school again, we don't go back to our previous jobs, we don't regain the fitness of our youth. We do adapt as we move forward and that is what you will need to do now as you get better. The bleed will have now meant you have no choice but to re-evaluate things, but that can be a good thing. It's a chance to de-clutter, work out what's important and move on with a new outlook. Your glass is half-full, not half empty. There will be obstacles in your way, but there always were and you dealt with them didn't you. This event means you are more acutely aware of them, but in time you will deal with your issues. Remember who and what you are, but be mindful that you will need a lot of patience because recovery doesn't happen overnight! Those around you will help you, as will we when we can. Stay in touch Claire, let us know how you are getting on, we can help you, but you need to let us in. This is where you can share your fears and feelings. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We've all trodden the path you are on now, and although it might seem a long way off to you right now, you will 'get there' in the end. Best wishes, Macca
  4. Hi, You aren't being lazy. It isn't as if you've hurt your finger or an arm or a leg. You have had a brain injury - it's at the core of everything you do and it doesn't heal like other parts of your body do. Brains take a lot longer to heal and unfortunately you can't see the injury, but it's there alright. How serious an injury was it? The answer lies in the statistics, which show that you are a lucky survivor, as we all are. There are many who were not so fortunate as us and lots of survivors are left with permanent injury or disability and it's time those around you realised that, and appreciate how lucky they all are to still have you with us In recovery terms it's still early days for a brain injury and the sooner everyone around you comes to realise that the better. - how will they feel if they make you ill by piling on the pressure to do more? Money has no value, except it's part in making you well again - that's all that's important.
  5. Hey Tori, This is fabulous news of your Mum's progress. Progress has obviously been slow, but that's to be expected after a serious brain injury. You just have to stick with it and watch her go! Compared to what you were describing in what seems only a few weeks ago, your Mum has come on leaps and bounds - and long may it continue! So very pleased for you both - keep the faith and keep posting -- many of us are very interested in your Mum's progress. You must be so happy after the devastation you envisaged at the start. You are playing a massive part in her recovery and now you can see the results of your labours and your patience. Fantastic! Beautiful story and I, for one, am very happy for two beautiful people who so deserve the rewards you are now reaping. Best wishes, Macca
  6. You sound more upbeat today! That's more like it, well done!! Sometimes you have to step back and look at things in the cold light of day, grab life and try to bring it under control. Don't let life control you. It does get easier over time, unfortunately there is no quick fix. Iola is right, no one can see an injury so they think there is nothing wrong. That is not the case. Like looking at a car and thinking it's ok until you lift the hood and there's no battery so it won't go! You are still in the early stages of recovery, this is a brain injury don't forget, so you have to rearrange things in a way that means you can cope. You might have to sit down with pen and paper first , then discuss things with your family and come to family decisions that enable you to recover properly and give you the best chance of making the recovery, that surely, they all want to see (as do you). Good luck PJ, please let us know how you are getting along, we are always here to support you as best we can. Macca
  7. Hi PJ-ND, Sounds like you're having a tough time. Looking in from outside, this is what I would do in your case. 1) As a one-off, get someone in ,perhaps a professional cleaner to clean up your house, as I suspect it will be too much for you to do alone. Much easier to keep clean once it is done. 2) Get your neuro help as fast as you can and ask them to refer you to any help groups they know of. 3) Tell your brother it's time to stand on his own two feet and pay his own rent. If you have to reduce your hours you can't keep susbsidising him. Tell him and his other half they need to go out and get jobs and pay their own rent. You've done more than enough by keeping them in clover for this long. It's time for you to get a bit selfish and a bit tough for your own peace of mind. If, as you say, you are buried in debt, then you have even more reason to get tough with your brother who has been sponging off you for way too long. As for your husband and son, problems or not, there must be some help they can give around the house, it is very rare that people are completely immobile or incapable of anything. Tell them they have to make changes because of the changes that have happened to you and that doing nothing is not an option. 4) Get your neuro people to explain to your employer about the after effects of SAH in an effort to be more empathetic to your situation. 5) Talk to your employer your self, but only after you have decided you know what it is you want. Then talk to your employer to try and re-arrange things a bit to benefit the both of you. 6) Quit drinking - go for a walk instead. Alcohol is a depressant and if you are on medication it will make things worse. You need a clear head to sort out your troubles. The answer to your problems do not lie in the bottom of a glass. You will feel better about yourself without using alcohol (which is also very expensive and a drain on your finances). 7) Open up to people, you will be surprised at how many have solutions or opportunities for you, not necessarily to all things, but to some at least. Bottling things up, and letting your imagination run away with itself, will make things appear to you ten times worse than they really are. 8 Be pro-active. Take action and deal with some of your problems, don't just sit there and let things get steadily worse. Life isn't about how many times you get knocked down, it's about how many times you get back up and take it on. Good luck - stay in touch. Macca
  8. SAH/Stroke/CKD

    Hi Shobs, That's good news and I would expect you will appreciate that time together all the more, for the rest of your life. Onwards and upwards now, although it could still be quite a long road to full recovery for Sandeep. Fatigue will be a problem, no doubt, and he will recover in his own time.
  9. 2 Year Anniversary

    Hi Chris, Congratulations. In my humble opinion, there is no such thing as a minor injury when it comes to brains, because it is at the core of everything we say and do. You have fought your battle with the right attitudes, with courage and with a positive outlook, so very well done in getting to this milestone.
  10. SAH/Stroke/CKD

    Nice one Shobs, Very pleased for you both. The real road to recovery starts now and you've go off to a good start! Hey, it's ok to cry. I've done it and we blokes aren't supposed to are we? Go right ahead, I expect it's more from relief than anything else and the new dawn has come!
  11. HI Kris (hope it's ok to call you that), If you are taking any tablets check the literature that comes with them to see if anything is mentioned about known side effects. That may do something to allay your fears. If there is nothing in the literature then check with your doctors to make sure all is ok. Better to be safe than sorry. It may also be that you are noticing things more, that previously you would have paid no attention to, because of what happened to you. Safety first, though, if in doubt get checked over. Hope you are ok.
  12. Hi Clara, Welcome to BTG. Slow down a bit and don't beat yourself up about this. Your brain has undergone a very serious event and it is recovering and it needs time to heal. What you describe is very natural, with your emotions all over the place. This isn't a male/female thing - it is a SAH thing. I felt exactly the same as you do now and it does take time to get over it. Perhaps you can start talking to one person and ask them to relay the message that you get very tired very quickly and that you need to recover at your own pace. Set a time limit for that call and then stick to it. Just let them know that you re ok but still very ill and you need time and space to get back on your feet. They will understand. From their point of view, they can't see any injury or plaster-cast so to them you probably look normal, and it is a persistent problem that we all encounter but you need to keep focus on getting well. Your true friends will understand, but it can be a long process. Change has come on suddenly and you may need to make changes to your lifestyle to adapt to the new you. Try to look at it as new opportunities, rather than a bit of you that has died. It hasn't died - it has just changed. Try not to compare yourself with yesteryear. You will find new and different ways of doing things and some will be better than before. You might not think that yet, but in time, you will. I am 61 now - I used to play football, I can't now, but look on those days with fondness and am grateful that I had them. I don't look on them as a part of me that has died, I look on them with pride and look forwards to what I can do now, not what I could do then. I think that is the only way to come to terms with what has happened to you. It just takes a bit of getting used to because the change happened to you so suddenly. It is still early days yet for you, very early days, in fact, and you never know, you may get back over time, to something like the person you were before. But people and things evolve over periods of time. It doesn't happen overnight for any of us and you will need to go with the flow for some time yet. Look after yourself for now - don't worry about everyone else. Now is a time to be a little bit selfish to enable yourself to get back on your feet. Your mates will still be there when you are up to it and I'm sure there will be lots of gossip to catch up on, but only when the time is right for you! Embrace it and look forwards, not back, if you can.
  13. Hi Dotty, Welcome to BTG. As the others have said this is so very, very early in recovery terms. Many of us were in the condition you describe and yes, it is very worrying not see the 'old Dad' in there when you go to see him. However, he is still in there, it's just his brain is now starting to re-wire itself having suffered the indignity of a bleed. It is now starting to repair itself. What you have is a spilled box of Milk Tray where all the chocolates have fallen out of the tray into the carrier bag. All the parts are still there but it will just take time to get all the chocolates back into their rightful places in the tray. He needs to recover at his own pace, not the one you might want him to. What he needs from you is to be there for him, to support him when he needs it, and to give him the space and time to recover. It can be a slow process and everyone goes at different rates. He will, in time, need to make some changes to his life and routine. The issue is that change has been thrust upon you abruptly instead of gradually as it does when you age. You need to be flexible in your approach now to deal with those changes and re-build a quality lifestyle. It can be done, but having the right attitude to it from the start is key to its eventual success. We are here to offer our help and support as much as we are able. let us know how you get on and keep in touch. I wish you all well. Macca
  14. 1st year anni-versary - Oct 9

    Many congratulations Shobs and Sandeep! May you have many more anniversaries and continue to improve daily! Good luck for next Monday!
  15. Hi Eric, Find a way of adapting. The big strong tree standing up to the wind will eventually snap, whereas the grass that bends with the wind goes on and on and does not snap. You must be like the grass. Change is inevitable, it's how you deal with it that counts. The smart thing to do is to learn to adapt - there is no shame in it, in fact it will create more respect for you than if you try to bluff that everything's ok and hasn't changed, and you then have a blow-out. Over time, you may get back to something nearer how you once were but it takes time and smart moves - it isn't instantaneous. Boxers who are sluggers keep getting knocked over because they keep doing the same things and get the same results. The smart boxers change their pace and their stance and watch out for that right hook to avoid it - that's what you must do! Good luck Macca