When Weirdness Falls

[iola]

Hi everyone,

 

I am 2-1/2 years out and you would think most all the pain and fear and weirdness would be behind me now. Nope. For example, today was beautiful. We are having unseasonably warm weather, almost 80 and should be in the 50 and 60s. I woke up with my normal dull headache, which I am used to at this point.

I never feel good until I get in the shower. That really gets me going. I got my hair cut and went to work. It was fairly quiet so I was able to focus. That's a good thing.

 

Then, met my husband and daughter for dinner outside by the water. Everything was fine and then out of the blue the weirdness hits. I start to feel pressure in my head and get dizzy. That leads to me feeling like I'm either exceptionally clairvoyant or Alice through the looking glass. That leads to my silent panic, clammy hands, and sweaty neck. I stay calm cause I am betting it's going to pass. It does for the most part but I have a angry headache this evening and not happy about it.

 

I really hate the weirdness attacks.

Iola

[jess]

Hi iola hope you are feeling better now xxx

I have days where all of a sudden I go hot and dizzy then I am sick it's horrible I woke up like it in the night and I have also woke up today with a bad headache all horrid xxx

Try not to worry drink more water and try to relax xxx

[Chelle C]

Hi Iola,

 

I know what you mean about the weirdness, it happens to me sometimes,

I also get the clammy hands, the dizzy head and then the panic,

 

We were out with friends a little while ago and we were sitting talking all

seemed perfectly fine then suddenly it hit me, like you I knew it would pass

but it is still very unsettling when it happens. Apparently I was as white as a

ghost, which did give our friends a bit of a scare.

 

Hope you are feeling better now,

Love

Michelle xx

[Macca]

Hi Iola,

 

It's happened to me a few times, not so much lately but I am five years out from my SAH now.  Usually it is unexpected and passes after a short while.  I wonder whether it is down to atmospheric pressure.  I usually try to get some fresh air for a while and within twenty minutes or so it has passed.

 

I hope you and your family are and continue to be well.

 

Best wishes,

 

Macca

[Winb143]

Hi "I"

 

My Hubs being the last of the big spenders takes me out for breakfast in Supermarket,  all was fine,  all of a sudden I had blurred vision like a migraine, then dry mouth I thought to myself,  okay Win if you panic you will make it worse, often talk to self.

 

Hubby came back to the table and I felt a bit scared but tried to find a place to put my fear rather than panicking.

 

So I let him know how I felt but said "I'll let you know if it gets worse" , saw my mushrooms on toast and forgot the panicky bit, but eyes took longer to stop feeling blurry.

 

I wish you well and hope you don't have them anymore xx

 

Love

Win xx xx

[Colleen]

Last Sunday was my seven year anni-versary. I didn't have a panic attack, but definitely very edgy and it continued for most of the week. I did have a couple of brief heart palpitation, dizzy, feel like I am lacking oxygen moments during the week as well. I hate it. I too talk to myself. I used to keep a paper bag handy, to breathe into. Probably psychological but it seemed to help.

 

Take good care y'all.

[Bman250]

Hi Iola,

It happens to me also, slightly different symptoms but nevertheless "weirdness". I've always called it a fugue. The first couple times it happened I was panicky but have become accustomed to it if that's possible. I just find the closest place to relax and it passes. I'm only 10 mo out so I'm really sorry to hear this is still happening to you after 2 1/2 yrs. Hope you are feeling better.

 

God bless,

Bill C

[Daffodil]

Iola. What a great description. It's sounds like the perfect title for a book!!

I have many names for the feeling, some less polite than others but like you they carry less fear these days when they come and thankfully it's less frequent and like you I just wait for it to pass but I hate it too.

 

When wierdness falls, it takes us in its grip

it creeps, it heats, we feel the dip

Our sinking stomachs filled with fear

The thought of 'what if' is still so near

But with time we can pause, wait and let it pass

each time a little stronger, now able to see a half full glass

[iola]

Amen to that Daff!

[kpaggett]

I,

The dizziness only hits late at night for me now, but I still get the panicky feeling out of nowhere sometimes.  There is always a trigger, but that trigger doesn't make any logical sense.  Sensing and Feeling cloud out the thinking parts.  Then sometimes a feeling of tiredness or fatigue follows.  At least I know now that it will pass and that I'm not crazy or that I 'should' be able to control it when it happens...nope.

 

When it's just me and my husband, I let him know.  If I'm around others, I just try and bow out as gracefully as possible.  I just feel less human than I used to.  I know intellectually this is not the case, but the sensations really pull me this way and that instead of decisions and clear thinking.

 

Hope your spell has passed by now!

~Kris

[dbc]

I know this is an old post but I am searching the site for clarity and relief (and hope) this is exactly how I keep feeling. I am 7 months post bleed. I feel like I am very heavy headed, or that I have just gotten off a boat, or that I am having an out of body experience. It makes me quite nervous. sometimes its hard to walk normally (if that makes sense) and I wonder if it's all in my head. well, I guess it is (literally)... hopefully you still don't feel this way and things have improved for you.

[ClareM]

Hi dbc, you are still only 7 months out from a life changing event. At your point I too was back at work though not at the hours I was working pre-bleed. I was still suffering from extreme fatigue and felt very heavy headed.

 

I am now 3 years out and am living my 'new normal' life. I work 30 hours per week (with a days break in the middle), I go out with friends, I run and exercise. I'm probably at the point when I can say this is IT and actually IT isn't that bad  

 

Hang in there it's still early days,

 

Clare xx

[dbc]

Thanks Clare. This is definitely a journey - one I feel stuck on unwillingly but determined to not let it get the best of me. I honestly don’t know what I would do without support from fellow survivors. These “out of body” feelings I have been getting lately sounded a lot like the “weirdness” described above. It’s nice to know maybe it’s not something scary - like a stroke

 

I had a neurologist explain to me recently that an ischemic stroke is in a completely different circulatory system from a SAH - this was helpful to know since every time I get a headache, or feel confused or dizzy that seems to be what I’m always fearing is happening to me. I think i need to accept that some of these symptoms are just me recovering. xo.

[frmertd]

The brain can only use simple sugars (not fat or glycogen) for energy. For this reason, I have been trying sugary stuff (hot chocolate for me) without caffeine. I also drink a lot of water when it hits. For me its one hot chocolate and two large waters.It seems to help me. 

[iola]

Hi  dbc, 

 

I will be five years post bleed this year and I never thought I'd say that.  The first couple years were very hard for me probably because I fought through thinking that would force me to get better and I  was so wrong.   The brain just does not heal like a broken arm.  It goes through stretches of promise and then can bounce backwards for you to start again.  It's a journey of happy, sad, frustration, anger, and finally  acceptance.  Not acceptance you will only feel as good as you do now but acceptance your brain will guide you and not you guiding your brain.  I've had to learn this and I'm very stubborn.

 

You are still in the very early stages but I do know you must eat and drink and try sleep when you can.  Sleep deprevation makes everything harder even without a brain injury.   Do what you can not what everyone thinks you should be doing or can do.  They have no clue what you feel and don't expect them to. 

 

Am am I doing better?  Yes, most certainly.  I still struggle with headaches, dizziness when tired or hungry, but I walked three miles on my treadmill today and I get up every morning and help my daughter get ready for school and I go to work.    There is hope.  Always hope. And, when you feel like it's never going to change you will have a good day or a good week and you will be thankful for it.   I always am.

 

iola