Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...


By registering with us, you'll be able to view our forums in full as well as discuss, share and private message other members of Behind The Gray. Why not join us now?


Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/02/16 in all areas

  1. 2 points
    Greg and Gemma I feel such an affinity with you both! Noise! Tell me about it, I too can't stand loud noises including my washing machine. I have to time when I do jobs upstairs so they coincide with the final spin cycle! I too have difficulty having conversations when there is a lot of noise going on around me and can't stand loud 'wild' music. (I used to love a bit of Techno-rave, but not now! lol!) With regard to you work returns I have found having a day off midweek to be a saviour. I work Monday,Tuesday, Thursday and Friday with Wednesday being my rest day. I love it, potter about the house, go to the gym, dog walk and generally have a 'quiet' day. It really works for me and luckily I have managed to negotiate the same type of hours at my new job. On the occasions when I have had to work the Wednesday due to staff shortages I have really felt it by the end of the week so maybe that is something you could think about. Be a year for me this time next week, how time flies and how life changes. Good luck to you both Clare xx
  2. 1 point
    Just as I was thinking 'this hurts' I started to feel sick as well. Deciding immediate action was required, I did what any right-minded cricket fan would do and headed for the loo. As I made my way to the loo I was aware that the pain in my head was increasing dramatically and by the time I got there I didn't know whether to sit on it, kneel in front of it or lie down. I had never experienced anything like the pressure that seemed to be building. 4 years ago, when he was 49, my younger brother had a severe stroke and almost twelve months to the day my dad had one too. Not that it's a family trait or anything but I knew what was happening to me was not what my brother had experienced as I was with him when he had his. If it wasn’t a stroke, what the hell was happening to me? This made me start to panic. Hot and cold sweats and faintness added to the pain. Thankfully, I recognised the panic attack for what it was and tried my best to not let it get the better of me. I was also in a situation where I was almost on my own. Our downstairs loo is at the back of the house and my wife was asleep in our bedroom, upstairs at the front. Feeling like I would pass out at any time, I still have no idea how I got myself to the top of the stairs and made it to the bedroom door. I woke my wife saying that something was not right and maybe she should call the NHS helpline. I remained conscious (in a heap on the floor) and, as the panic attack subsided, was able to communicate what I was feeling to my wife who was talking to the NHS operator. Within minutes an ambulance crew was at the door and the next thing I remember was being on my way to Blackpool Victoria Hospital (not where you want to be after midnight on a Saturday in the Illuminations). I remember being given something for the pain, having a CT scan and being sick a lot but most of the evening is a whirl. The quality of the scan was not good enough for the A&E doctors to make a firm decision but they suspected an SAH. I was transferred to the Neurosurgery Unit at Royal Preston. Another CT scan showed the bleed at the base of my skull but still the cause could not be specified. So, a scary angiogram followed and a non-aneurysmal SAH was confirmed. When I say the angiogram was scary, although it was a curious sensation occasionally feeling this thing navigating its way around my brain. What was scary was the quick, pre-op chat that one of the team gave me about an hour before I went in where he calmly told me of the risks. My wife was on her way to the hospital but I couldn’t reach her on her phone. I lay for a while and cried when a trainee nurse, who was being shown the ward, asked me if I was OK. I wasn’t and I couldn’t even speak to communicate this. As only my close family knew I was in hospital, I posted on Facebook, said my goodbyes to my friends and hoped for the best. Within seconds I had so many shocked friends wishing me well that I burst into tears again. I was still like this when the porter came to take me for the angiogram. I asked if I could wait a few minutes but was told I had to go now. I have never felt more alone or scared in my life. Thankfully, my wife arrived just after I’d gone into theatre and they let her in to see me for a minute. The procedure went well but I was dropped when being transferred from the trolley to the table (and again after the procedure) right on my Coccyx which now hurts a lot! This only became apparent after I’d come home and was not having morphine any more. That said, that standard of most of the care that I received was really good. I would like to thank the staff at both BVH A&E and Royal Preston for the care they gave. Some of the nursing staff are fantastic in their attention and dedication to duty (sadly, some aren't!). After a week in Preston I returned home to spend a further week or so in bed before the pain had subsided enough for me to try to move around. I was tired and stiff from not moving. I had tinnitus in my left ear and was sensitive to bright lights but was eating regularly, sleeping often and drinking lots of water. As I started to get about a bit I experienced an odd sensation of dizziness and a numb/tingly feeling in my left thigh. If I had been sitting for a while and stood up, I would go about 7 or 8 steps and then a 'wave' of pressure felt as if it came up my back and through my head. It stops me in my tracks. I feel as though I have to get hold of something to steady myself. After a few weeks the pain in my head started to fade, as did the tinnitus and light sensitivity. The coccyx pain is a whole other story. After a couple of months the dizziness also subsided but the odd numbness remained. Four months on and I feel as though I should be back at work. Not quite got ‘cabin fever’ but I think I need the routine. I still get quite tired if I do too much but I can just about cope with that. The most annoying (worrying) thing that has made an unwelcomed return is what I can only describe as dizziness. It doesn't feel like any dizziness I had experienced prior to the SAH and I really struggle to describe exactly how it feels. It’s a bit like a ‘wave’ of pressure that comes up through the back of my neck and through to the top of my head. Some days my head just feels ‘thick’. The consultant at Preston sent me for another MRI to see if anything shows up but I haven't had a follow-up appointment yet. The scan was just before Christmas. I’ve read a few posts on here of other people struggling to describe similar sensations and am curious as to how many other NASAH sufferers have experienced this dizzy sensation and whether it ever goes. I'm not desperate to return to work. They say they're not desperate to have me back! (I hope they mean that in a good way) I count myself lucky that I get full pay whilst off sick (not sure how long that will last). However, in my absence someone else has to teach my students (I'm a University lecturer) and I'm acutely aware of the difficulties associated with that, and the thought of already burdened colleagues having to step in doesn't sit easily. But if this dizziness doesn't ease up I don't think I will be able to do the job that I have loved for the last 17 years. This 'Catch 22' situation of wanting to do more but cautious about doing too much gets to me a bit. Please, someone tell me it gets easier! Time will tell.
  3. 1 point
    Clare good luck for next week, will you mark it or ignore it? You've done amazingly in a year, particularly with getting a new job. The noise things is a pain. I'm similar to you Gemma I can listen to music for a bit but definitely have to be in the right frame of mind. We went to a show over Christmas (type of human circus / burlesque / comedy thing) and though I got through it OK is, the noise was too much and I was flattened for a couple of days afterwards with fatigue. At least it confirmed my decision to give away some tickets for a gig just prior to Christmas was the right thing to do, it would not have been a good idea. Good luck to both of you with your return to work. I'm talking to my boss tomorrow about the kind of work I might take on, and then next Tuesday I'm visiting work with my OT from Headway to talk about things in a bit more detail. Fingers crossed, wish me luck!
  4. 1 point
    Yes noise can be a big issue - the worse thing for me around the house is the vacuum cleaner, when my husband hovers I make myself scarce! I also loved music prior to my SAH. I can still enjoy it, but definitely have to be in the right frame of mind. Yes the more I am doing the more I think a mid-week day off would be good for me next year. I have also been referred for long-term physio anyway to help with my movement issues as a result of the spinal adhesions, so a day off during the week would be good to do that and to just generally have a break. Obviously being a teacher I do have to do a certain amount of work at home and now I generally do not have the stamina to do it in the evenings after school. I am not really willing to sacrifice all my weekends so I day off the in the week might work. Congratulations on almost being at a year Clare - you have achieved a lot this past year and should be proud of that Gemma xx
  5. 1 point
    Gemma, A lot of what is describe is quite familiar. Long stints of "cognitively demanding tasks" just doesn't work so well for me any more. Gone is the approach where one head long ploughs through for hours on end, a little more thought and pacing is required. Re the noise, tell me about, I used to love music and never minded a decent hubbub when we went out, but now these have a real impact on me, especially if I am trying to hold a conversation over the noise. Divided attention, I am told is the activity your brain is doing at this point, and post SAH mine isn't quite so happy doing it! (lazy little......). One of the things I am trying to sort out to try to help with this is getting a pair of noise cancelling headphones. So I can knock down the noise when say on a train or a bus or when I get back to work to knock down background noise. When I find a pair that doesn't cost a fortune I'll tell you how I get on. I am going in to work next week for a meeting to discuss my phased return plans, joint visit with my OT from Headway, so fingers crossed work are happy with the initial plans! Good luck with your work, hope you find a balance of hours that works for you and the school. greg
  6. 1 point
    Hi Tricia, It sounds as though he knows what he's doing and is in denial or doesn't want to face up to the problems he's causing himself and the family. He could well be depressed and using the alcohol as a means of coping .... however, we know that alcohol is a depressant and will make a situation worse with feelings and actions and I can see how it's affecting you and your family. If he's drinking excessively, then he may not remember in detail, how he acted towards you, the night before. He sounds as though he's in denial and if he won't listen to the recording then it would make me think that he has some recall and knows he's got a problem and probably feels bad for it, but then goes to the pub to take those feelings away again ....a vicious circle really. Your husband probably doesn't feel physically great, the morning after either! I know that some of us on here, can't tolerate a lot of alcohol because of the headaches etc. I was on anti seizure meds for some months post SAH and the withdrawal wasn't easy physically or emotionally. I was so worried about the seizures returning and it was a very rough patch for me. I am actually quite surprised that your husband is drinking heavily whilst still on the meds as I was told by my GP that alcohol can interfere with the action of the meds. I wasn't on Keppra - I was on Phenytoin and had regular blood tests to check for levels, which included a liver function test for tor any Phenytoin toxicity. I can't really suggest anything, apart from go back to the GP if need be. I would also try to have a conversation with your husband, not about the drink but try to get him to open up emotionally. You've said that he's normally a loving and sweet man, so you will have to pick a quiet moment and have a calm conversation with him as to his worries. I know of a few BTG male members, not dissimilar to your husband who struggled emotionally and who were depressed, suffering anxiety etc post SAH, but they did eventually seek help....some with counselling, others anti depressants and in some cases both. Sadly, it's not seen in society as a manly thing to admit to feelings of helplessness and where most of us women natter away about our worries and share it, I think that it's much harder for a man to feel that he can or should seek help. I wish you the very best of luck. xx
  7. 1 point
    Doctor is right it's only a choice your husband can make himself, (we had that with my mother-in-law), agree with Jess, talk to him when he's sober, also maybe point out that he's survived a trama that many are denied, but again Jess is right you don't need this.. I hope the right decision is taken and things work out for you.. take care hun and cyber hugs..
  8. 1 point
    You need to consult someone that specializes in addiction. You don't want to go down the road of enabling when you have other family responsibilities. It is a terrible condition that often occurs in conjunction with other issues; in his case SAH. He should be treated for all his issues what ever they are. Take them all seriously. Take yourself seriously. You are right to be concerned. Find a resource or another way to take action. You've been so good at acting so far when you thought you were helping him recover from SAH. He still deserves your help in whatever form that takes to keep you and your family safe from mental/physical/emotional/spiritual harm. It is all equally important. I'm glad you posted this here as many others may also become addicted to alcohol, prescribed meds, or other substances after SAH to not deal with it all. ~Kris
  9. 1 point
    When I was little my Dad could turn nasty on shorts but my Mum left him and he came off them. He(your hubby) knows he must not drink while epilepsy is about. So I wish you all well and good luck in him stopping. Perhaps another on here might have had this experience as I had an SAH and my hubby give up the demon drink !! I have a glass on special occasions and then it is watered down, but whatever amount of spirits you water down you are still drinking the same amount of booze/wine !! Wishing you good luck also hubby guess he might have found out how short life is or can be. !! WinB143 xxxx
  10. 1 point
    Talk to your husband when he is sober and give him two choices pack in the booze or pack his bags you need to think of your children you don't want them growing up thinking that it is acceptable behaviour all the drinking. I kicked my husband out March 2012 and it was the best decision I ever made children do as they see most of my husband's family are alcoholics I have broke that line and maybe saved my children from it but only you can decide if and when to leave. However for him to stop drinking he needs to want to stop and if he doesn't you may aswell leave. Goodluck hope everything works out for you xxx
  • Create New...