I remember in the earliest of days Macca telling me I was doing just fine. I still think about that and remember how scared I was. I do miss the other me. Yes, she is still in there but not as prevalent. What has emerged is another me that is a survivor. Scarred from battle and pushing forward every day stronger and more determined than before to live this life God has given me. I certainly get angry and sad but more angry now because life threw me a curve ball when didn't even want to play the game. But, here I am over three years later and without the peeps on this site I would've been lost. Where else can you go and find this kind of knowledge and experience? Nowhere. The folks here were my brain when my brain was to sick to think for itself. I am thankful for that. Iola

Jan sorry missed this Wow your lost things are exactly the same as mine, and yes if you/we dont give them insight to how you are because they are never going to understand unless you tell them. And again Yep as time goes on friends and family don't seem as helpful as in the beginning. I hope you continue your recovery and get the support you need. take care

What a relief for you Gail, I'm so pleased it all went well. It is of great encouragement and comfort to me when I hear such good news, especially as I am supposed to be ringing up to make an appointment to discuss further coiling myself. Best wishes for your continued recovery, Sarah

Hi everyone, Your comments are like holding my hand for the operation, which I thank you for. Anyway, the procedure was a success and the anni was coiled. Now I am talking nimodipine for the rest of the 21 day course. Thanks

I wrote the following a couple of months ago. I think some of you will identify with it!I it gave a couple of my family members an insight as to how I was feeling THIS IS ME losing Things I've lost......... a chunk of my life My confidence My Independence My Stamina My motivation My identity I look in the mirror I don't know the person I see,who is this looking back at me? The 'old Jan'has gone, I miss her, I mourn for her People look at me differently now. I have to accept the 'new Jan' can you too? I am angry and sad inside but I can walk and talk so must be ok? I will be.

Jan -This is you! Lost 5% - there's another 95% to play with. Confidence - you just need some temporary reassurance - you're doing just great! Independence - it's still there, you just have someone to help now and again until you do it yourself again Stamina - catch the bus - it's just a different route to the results you want. Motivation - the doctors and nurses who helped you and your family who stood by you and cared for you. Identity - you've just added some new facets, familiarise yourself with them and you'll see the old you is still in there too! You are ok - you're just wearing a different coat that some don't recognise, but that's their problem not yours. You were a child once -your childhood has gone but you don't mourn for it, you remember with fondness and a smile. Do the same now. You've progressed in life and taken some new steps, that's all. The 'old' you is in a photograph album. Bring it out and laugh and recreate some of the situations you pictured. The new you is here and now. Don't beat yourself up about it - enjoy it. Life is for living, change happens, it's how you deal with it that counts! Love yourself and everyone else will love you for it. Best wishes Macca