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Showing content with the highest reputation on 20/01/19 in all areas

  1. 1 point
    Hi Zoegrove, Welcome to BTG...So sorry to hear about your terrible experience. You sound as if you are making a great progress, our bodies are amazing. I too experienced tremendous guilt after my SAH and Vasospasm. I kept telling my husband "I'm sorry" I remember him telling me to stop it wasn't my fault. This continued for maybe several months and then I began to get a better sense of the whole thing. I work in the medical field so I am always on the helper side of the fence, but there I was being the one who needed help. It is so difficult to accept it sometimes (sadly perhaps when we need it the most)...I did get there ... The whole experience is a traumatic not just for you and me but for all those who love us. It takes time, your experience is still so new. Give yourself the gift of time, it made such a difference for me, I wouldn't have believed it. I will 2 years out in May, I am so much better with all these feelings. Best wishes for you and your family as you move forward and remember you are a survivor...it is a big deal Sincerely, Jean
  2. 1 point
    Hi, welcome to BTG! I sense that you are a person who is very independent and who likes to help everyone else, but doesn't like to accept help when the boot is on the other foot. Welcome to the club. There are many of us on here in the same boat. Good advice from Casey. Have a think about that! The emotions you are feeling are quite common in the aftermath of SAH, so don't beat yourself up about that. Emotional turmoil of one kind or another often crops up. In the meantime, just consider what has happened to you. Time for you to think out of the box for a minute. This change has been thrust upon you in an instant. You had no time to prepare, no time to ask for help - it just happened and there you are, plonked in no mans land, up the creek without a paddle. Now what you see is people around you offering to help, whereas previously, in what seems like only moments ago, you were one of that group. You've been tossed out of the boat by a freak wave and these others are now trying to help you to get back in the boat! Accept their help. If you were tossed out of a real boat, you would accept their help without a second thought to get back in - so what is different? I know it is difficult to accept at the moment, but as time goes on and you accept what has happened, you will reflect more and understand what I am trying to convey to you. We've been where you are and we've lived it and came out the other side. You will too. There is absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty - although I know the feeling - but in life everyone needs a helping hand from time to time. You can't get through life in splendid isolation. Humans are social animals - we interact with each other, it's what we do - it's just that now it is your time to take, instead of giving - it's just that you weren't ready for it that's all. You were just unlucky in that it happened to you - but lucky that you came through it relatively unscathed. Your lottery ticket just came up! Grab that second chance with both hands and help your daughter grow into the woman you always wanted her to be - You can still do it - go for it. Watch her achieve, watch her get married and have children of her own - it's all there in front of you and you will be there to see it! No guilt - you still have a massive role to play in life - learn from your experience and use it to full advantage in yours and your daughter's future. So accept help with good grace, and with the love that it is being offered with. They are doing for you what they know you would do for them in a heartbeat. Think positively and make the most of your opportunities and that is the best thanks, and probably the only thanks, that anyone will want from you. Good luck and best wishes, Macca
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