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Showing content with the highest reputation since 13/07/20 in all areas

  1. 9 points
    Thank you for your post, Matt. I fully understand what you're saying. It's been just over two years since my hemorrhage and, all in all, my recovery has been good-to the point I thought I could function in life same as before, other than being a little more tired and trouble finding my words at times..which I downplayed or joked about. Recently, though, issues have arisen that have caused me to take a more serious look at the effects of the hemorrhage and how they may impact my function. It's difficult, isn't it? When you know you're one of the "lucky ones", when others see that you're "fine". I just joined this group today-right now-in hopes to find possible connections between my current symptoms and prior bleed when your post jumped out at me and got me thinking.....is this how I've been feeling too? I've been working full-time 1 1/2 years (new job but Boss aware of my prior injury and he is great). I'm a rehab therapist treating independent and assisted living patients, as well as, skilled nursing patients. It's a demanding, high paced job in general, but I was managing...until the pandemic. It took me months to come to terms with the fact I can't handle it. I kept thinking-'but I'm fine, if my co-workers can do it, why can't I?' How can I blame it on my hemorrhage when I've been working all this time?' 'is it just an excuse to get out of a horribly stressful situation?-after all, others are experiencing some of the same symptoms I am'.....and so on. Then when I go to the Doc's, I hear statements like "well, I saw you out running the other day" (implying I must be ok)--which, btw, I wasn't running-I was struggling to jog-, and another Doc "oh, so it was just a small bleed, ok". What the hell?-it sure didn't feel small! So I understand feeling like a fraud, but we aren't! I have to take care of myself-for me, my children and family. Two weeks ago I stopped working and filed for FMLA. Even though I know I'm not a fraud, I still feel guilty working out-afraid someone might see me and wonder why I can work out but not work-how I can look in great shape but be filing for temporary disability. But they don't understand it's 25% of what I'd normally do (body builder), and 80% more difficult. I struggle with this, and every day have to tell myself it's my life and my health, and give myself grace. Only you know you. Just because the effects from the hemorrhage aren't there ALL the time, doesn't mean they don't exist. Again, thank you so much for your post. It prompted me telling myself a lot of what I need to come to terms with. Have a blessed day.
  2. 8 points
    Well a bit of a fright this morning from Google Photos! Here's your photo memory of something that happened 5 years ago today....and it's a picture of me in my hospital bed! Thanks for all the support! Andrea x
  3. 6 points
    July 24 was the date. One year on and throughout that day I kept reliving what happened a year ago over and over. Pleased to say my balance is improving but still a bit iffy. My short term memory is still a bit frustrating. Still can’t remember dreams but I get tiny flashes of dreams that last for a minute or so after I wake up. I guess new pathways are slowly beginning to work which is amazing. Woken tonight by a sharp pain behind my ear which is odd and giving me cause for concern so I’m hoping it’s nothing going wrong. I do try not to live in fear of recurrence or shifting coils but it’s always there isn’t it? Hope everyone is well and staying clear of COVID-19.
  4. 6 points
    Last Friday marked six months since I had a Grade 1 NASAH in the frontal lobe with modified Fisher Scale measuring volume and spread showing Grade 4 volume and spread, so I thought I would follow up my original introduction with these notes that I sent to my children who don't live nearby. Where I’m at now … Hearing, taste, vision, bowel, bladder and gut have all improved significantly. My vision was one that was affected badly and I didn’t realise how stressful it was until it improved, gut too was pretty awful and still is at times. I’m highly sensitive to sound/noise, and visuals. A mistake I’ve made in recovery is thinking that where there has been significant time between symptoms being present, it indicates that part of my brain has healed. But no, they come back out of the blue, but so far with decreased intensity. Another mistake I made was in thinking that I could work. I resisted giving up what I knew deep down had to be done, but in the end I closed down my business officially as at June 30. The other thing I misjudged was the overall affect of the bleed. Because I was and am repeatedly told how lucky I am to have only suffered a Grade 1 NASAH, I thought my recovery would be easier and quicker. Mmmm .... Emotional Lability/Emotions in General … In the early days all emotions blurred into one big ball and I couldn’t work out what I was dealing with or how to respond. Now there is clarity between brain bleed stuff and other stuff and I can respond appropriately to that. Headache/Neck Ache … Not all the time now … there is a pattern, as the brain gets tired, the headache/neck ache increases. I do get odd days where I have very intense head, neck, and face pain which nothing will shift which is very frightening, but it’s on to the bed and stay there till it passes . Memory and Concentration … Still have trouble finding find the right words, and I muddle things up having to concentrate hard. My memory is still rubbish and added to that has come the realisation that I experience Confabulation. Realisation hit and distressed me greatly as it happened in the same week as separate unrelated but scary cooking and medication incidents. Sent me down in to a dark and lonely space for a bit. When I looked back I recognised other events that were probably confabulation, where things I thought I’d done or had happened were possibly not so. The problem is, unless tested, I don’t know I’m having them. It decimates confidence. (Confabulation in brain bleeds seem to be peculiar to frontal lobe injury)? Fatigue/Severe tiredness … these are two separate experiences for me. I can get up in the morning, make my bed, get dressed, put some washing on and be standing washing dishes quite comfortably when all of a sudden headache and heart rate arc up, my legs go and I feel very unwell all over. It happens in the blink of an eye as though someone has flicked a switch and it’s very frightening. I manage it better now that I’ve come to know that it's brain fatigue. All I can do then is get on the bed, close my eyes, rest, so that with the reduction of stimuli the brain can cope again. I’ve seen it referred to somewhere on here as shutdown which is exactly what the brain seems to do, and by resting it reboots. The severe tiredness isn’t all the time but I get odd days where it takes all I know to get off the bed. I do notice though that problems with postural difficulties have improved a lot. Any exertion such as trying too pull weeds or push a comforter into a tight plastic bag drops me on my butt. Brain's no ready for that yet. Riding the SAH roller-coaster is challenging isn't it, and I've reached the stage of recovery where I'm told I look well and I sound well which seems to imply I must be well. If only they knew , but in all fairness I wouldn't have known either.... To anyone out there just starting this journey, my best wishes, recovery is slow and sometimes bewildering, but it does happen so hang in there. Thanks for listening Kind regards Majella
  5. 5 points
    Hi there, Many congratulations on reaching this anniversary! Your logic is that "it's always there, isn't it?" Well so is the chance of getting knocked over by a bus every time you cross the road, or hit by lightning next time it thunders. Yes, it's there, but so are a hundred and one other risks. Don't let it dominate you! Live each moment to the full and enjoy it. You will have your down moments, of course you will, but try to have more up than down. As Subs says, it is very rare and progress is in front of you, not behind, so grab it with both hands. Onwards and upwards, we are survivors - as are you! Try to look on the positive side, grab your second chance at life. Re-living events is a natural way of learning how to handle the future. You have a birthday every year and maybe don't notice the difference in yourself from year to year. However, if I said to you look at some photos of you from ten years ago, you would think about the journey you have been on - the fashions of the day, your hair styles, the car you used to drive and you will see the change compared with today. You've just started a new journey - post SAH - and it's only one year on. In ten years - or even five -you will notice big changes in the way you started and the way you are when you reach 'five.' You will have adapted, your brain will have re-wired some or even most of the damage maybe - but the important thing is - you will have advanced, made progress. Wow! What a thing to look forward to. I hope that puts a positive spin on things for you. It isn't the rate of progress, or the speed at which you make progress compared to others, - it is the fact that it is YOUR journey, and that you do make progress. Life isn't necessarily always easy, but it is up to us all to make the most of what we've got by doing the best we can. My Mum used to say to me that if I came last in a race it didn't matter, as long as I had done my best - and she would still be proud of me. I still live by that legacy to this day. Congratulations once again! Best wishes Macca
  6. 5 points
    Congratulations on your 5 years Andrea, just behind me. My husband made a collage photo of me for my 60th birthday, including photos of when I was a lot younger and one of ME in hospital - well he said it was a big part of my life. And so it was. Glad to hear your updates, you appear to be enjoying life up there in the isles! Clare xx
  7. 5 points
    Hi and welcome to BTG! Like everyone before me has commented, this is a great place to be for support, asking questions and in general feeling connected to people who “get it”. I had my bleed 3.5 yrs ago, and even though I had a good recovery physically, my mental well-being went through a battle of it own. I was in the hospital for one month mainly because I was having Vasospasms. Honestly at the time I had no idea what this all meant and it wasn’t until I was home recovering that I did my own research and fell into the “google” rabbit hole. I have always suffered from mild form of depression and anxiety - and had therapy to deal with it, so I recognized the signs. What helped me, was talking it out with my friends, my physician and finally coming to the realization that I had gone through a major trauma and was dealing with PTSD. One massive help in recovery was finding this site. It was telling me that I wasn’t going nuts for feeling the way I did. That was a major turn around in my mental well being. I gave myself permission to feel down some days. It was ok for me to feel tired and wanting to have naps. It wasn’t a cop-out to say “No” to events because the thought of being around noise, lights, and people was just too much at the time. The next day is always there to conquer one thing you couldn’t do the day before! As time passes, these moods are less and less, but I still get them. I recognize them for what they are, acknowledge that I might not accomplish all the goals I had for that day and say to myself, Tomorrow is another day! I believe that the mental health aspect of surviving something like this isn’t fully addressed by our physicians. I live in Canada and although my care did not cost me anything, I wish along with the physical care I received, there would have been some mental health follow up. Hang in there, you are so early in your recovery and it sounds like you are doing well. You have found yourself a very caring, and knowledgeable community. We have all been where you are right now, and everyone here will support you in your recovery. Take care, stay safe, stay healthy! Pat
  8. 4 points
    Macca... your words are so inspiring "sudden change foisted upon you, in a surprise attack that damaged you, but didn't finish you off... Carolyn amazing words from Macca, I am 3 years 4 months from my SAH and Vasospasm. What I wrote above from Macca is exactly how I felt, i was surprised (shocked) but it didn't finish me off. Carolyn you are still in the early days of this, I know you know that. I had no patience for the slow movement of my recovery and pushed hard to do some things that made me feel in control. I had this visual in my head thinking I wanted to see it in the rear view mirror...haha, I don't know why but that seemed to make sense to me. It has moved over to perhaps my side view mirror but it is not standing in front of me anymore. I will talk a bit about the fatigue, I simply must surrender to this on occasion. I find if I continue to push I start feeling a bit out of control of everything...I have made it a priority, sometimes I just need to sit down for half an hour, sometimes I need more. Dealing with it mentally has also been a slow process for me but I continue to learn to be good with myself. I did go for some mental health therapy and it was helpful...A good session of visualization makes me feel content inside...I practice at home now... I wish you the best Carolyn, please come and post whenever you need to or want to, we all share something here:) xx Jean
  9. 4 points
    Hi Carolyn, Great question. I'll answer from my own experience and I'm sure others will add theirs. firstly 6.5 weeks is virtually nothing in recovery terms. Months and years is more the order of the day. What I did, and it was completely wrong, in my opinion, with hindsight, was to set myself a goal of getting back to normal. What's wrong with that, I hear you ask? Well, what was 'normal?' In my head, It was back to being the old me, where I was the day before I had the 'event.' But then, that was all I knew. I realised later that was never going to happen. What I failed to realise when I woke up, was that this was the new me and was the new normal. I just had to find out what that was, and what it meant, for me. If you look at old photos of yourself, you see big changes in yourself that you took in your stride as they happened over time, almost without you realising. It was only when you looked at the photos you realised how much you had you changed and you probably had a laugh about it with your family and friends. At your haircut, your height, your weight gain or loss, your shoes, the car you had then as opposed to the one you have now. They all evolved over time. What you have now is sudden change foisted upon you, in a surprise attack that damaged you, but didn't finish you off. You survived, and what you now have to do is take stock of what happened, how much damage was done and try to adapt and get on with life as best you can. To put it into a context, think of any military conflict where a commander has insisted on a surprise attack and what the response was. The Japanese commander, Yamamoto, planned the attack on Pearl Harbor in WWII. They surprised the fleet there. The American response was to dust themselves down, assess the damage and set about repairing themselves ready to strike back. All the battleships were sunk, but they survived the attack and planned their return strike by using what they had left - the aircraft carriers! This might, at one level, sound absurd, but what I am saying to you is that you have suffered a surprise attack on your body, you have survived, you have to assess the damage done, and you have to find a way to strike back by getting on with your life, adapting to what you have left of your faculties, bodily strength, circumstances and so on. You will find what your new boundaries are by assessing what you can and cannot do. Those you find difficult you will delegate, or avoid, or change. but you will adapt. You will find what works for you. You mention several things in your post. This is how I look at them: 1 Your brain was attacked 2 You survived and got that 'wake up call' and still have your optimism (a great tool in these circumstances) 3 You recognise you are overweight so you have started to assess - now find the right diet and exercise regime with the help of your doctors - maybe that will help you get your 'mojo' back 4 You have realised recovery takes longer than you anticipated - so plan in the time to give you the space to do that 5 You have friends and family - use them to help you in your recovery - you will be surprised how many people will want to help - but you have to let them know you need that help - so tell them - all you need to do is ask! You can't live in splendid isolation all the time. Look on it as how much have you done for others - now it is time for them to give a little back - so lose any guilt complex you might have after being independent for so long. 6 Keep a diary and write things down - including progress and your assessment of where you are, what you need and where you want to be. review it regularly. Embrace the fact that change has happened, deal with it and move on. Learn from the past but don't let it rule you. It sounds harsh, but it is reality and like it or lump it, none of us can turn the clock back. yes you may need a period of recuperation and going through the 'Why me?' phase, but eventually we have to get on with it, so make the best you can of it. All our journeys are different in some way, so why not make it as fun and as useful as you can make it? You have a positive and optimistic attitude - that will make a big difference. Life is worth living, making a few adjustments won't change that in your case. I hope this helps, Best wishes, Macca
  10. 4 points
    Hi Ann So very sorry you have had to go through this all again, Bless you, what a nightmare. Thank goodness the surgery was a success, so very scary for you and your family. Well done on pushing for a scan in December. I guess with Covid etc everything is all delayed. I agree with you to fight for your yearly scans especially in these unprecedented times. Thank you so much for sharing and know that we are always here for you ❤️ Wishing you well with your ongoing recovery. Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. Take care Love Tina xx
  11. 4 points
    Fear it will happen again is perfectly normal . As for living more freely, well, that depends on your state of mind. My husband loves nothing better than to tell me that I recovered so well because I'm as stubborn as they come - I tried not to let it stop me doing the things I wanted to do. There were times when I paid for it after - exhaustion, fatigue, headaches etc, but I was determined that I was not going to let it stop me living my life. My aneurysms are referred to as "doo dabs" by my Dad and "monkey" by my daughter ( who was 9 at the time and is now 23). Three months after mine I went to a Pink concert - I'd paid for that ticket and no way was I going to miss out!!! Remember, we're all different - our bleeds are all different and our aftermaths are all different. I've been very lucky in so much that I live my life like I did before - the only thing I notice is that my memory, which was near on eidetic, is now no where near as good (to me, whilst others still think I have an amazing memory). Recovery is relative to you and cannot be compared to anyone else. Do what is best for you to recover and, above all, listen to your body and your brain. Macca (Mod on here) once said that it's not about grieving who/what you've lost and being limited by what you cannot do, it's about being grateful for surviving and forging a new you with new limits - very wise words.
  12. 4 points
    Hi Carolyn I was discharged from hospital with absolutely no information on what had happened to me, what I should /shouldn't be doing or what I could / couldn't do. My "physio" before I was discharged was walking up and down half a flight of stairs and being able to take myself to the shower and the toilet. A pile of tablets were pushed into my hands and that was that. This was 14 years ago and no sign of COVID anywhere! Like you, I got more information from this site than from anywhere (and there were only 9 members when I joined!). In the last 14 years I have had two MRIs - the last one 18 months after my SAH and have no contact with any specialist since. I took myself to my GP when I began to feel anxious and depressed and was diagnosed with PTSD and referred to their therapist. He was amazing. Despite this, I still maintain that it was this site that got me through. Fluids and rest of most definitely the most important thing right now - as is trying to keep a sense of humour. Our dear departed Win, would also tell you to sing when you're feeling down or anxious - and its actually been scientifically proven to help. We're all here for each other with support and encouragement. Have you popped into the Green Room yet? Karen (our wonderful founding member) set up a forum on here where we could just go in for a daily chat and laugh - it's helped everyone enormously by distracting from the medical side of our situation. If you haven't visited yet, make sure you do. Keep posting, and remember, we're here for you every step of the way.
  13. 4 points
    With many thanks to all of those members who've made a monthly donation towards BTG funds in July and August. It's very much appreciated! x
  14. 4 points
    Hi everyone I had a suberachnoid haemorrhage on 15 May. I was lying in bed and I suddenly felt paralysed from the neck down. I live alone and it was terrifying. I either passed out or I've lost my memory because the next thing I remember was waking up in hospital the next morning. I'd been sick, knocked things over and my legs and knees were covered in blood and bruises. Apparently I'd knocked on my neighbours door at 4am and he called an ambulance. I had an operation to clip the bleed four days later and spent three weeks in hospital. Physically I feel ok now but I'm really, really struggling mentally and emotionally. I'm crying a lot, having nightmares, struggling to sleep and I hate being alone now. I lost my work then my home because of covid 19, and now staying with family. I get very frightened if I'm on my own or if I have to go outside. I feel completely alone because it's so hard to talk to people about it. My family keep quizzing me for details and it's Very traumatic to talk about it to them. I am about to receive some counselling service from the hospital as I have been diagnosed with PTSD. I'd appreciate some help and support from anyone on here thankyou Vicky
  15. 4 points
    Congrats Andrea - but what a way to be reminded!! Love your scenery pics - keep 'em coming!!
  16. 4 points
    Thank-you CaseyR for your encouraging words. Writing a variety of factual material used to be the stuff of my work, so it makes it a bit easier. The bonus that has come with doing these quarterly reports for my sons, is that it allows me to see where I've made progress by reflecting on each area. It's really helpful when I hit those patches where I don't think I'm doing so well. Kind regards Majella
  17. 4 points
    Hello Vicky, So good that you found this site. Explore all the topics and you will see how many of us share similar issues and how, by sharing, we've helped each other. By all means don't wait to get counselling because PTSD and anxiety are common. Explain to loved ones that reliving the event causes massive anxiety and discomfort. Eat healthy. Drink lots of water. Be kind to yourself. Come here often to learn, to vent, to laugh, to cry. We're all in this together. Colleen
  18. 4 points
    Hey Vicky, I’m sorry you are having to deal with this. But glad you found this site! It has been a huge help to me through my recovery. You mentioned having difficulty talking about it with people close to you. I had the same issue, first finding my words was a struggle, then realizing they just weren’t capable of getting it. Show them this site. There are likely answers to all their questions on here. I found that letting them read “A letter to my brain” helpful. Also the book “A Dented Image” is good. You should look at those as well. Good luck, and be kind to yourself!
  19. 4 points
    Hi Vicky Warm welcome to the site, so glad that you found us. Your not alone in feeling that you are alone in this, Your family are quizzing you because they dont understand what's happened and only way to find out how you are, or how your feeling is to talk about it... I was going to sugges Gp for councelling, but see your about to receive, Councelling really does help honest take all the councelling they offer you... You'll find this site very helpful, look forward to hearing more from you... take care, stay-safe.
  20. 4 points
    I had a NASAH 4/29/20. I was in my basement lifting weights and felt a twinge in the back of my neck. I figured that I pulled a muscle in my neck because at 49 years old things like that tend to happen pretty frequently. I tried to stretch it out but after about 15 minutes I got really nauseous and knew something was wrong. Called 911 and the ambulance took me to the hospital. Luckily for me, 2 of my good friends were on call and they figured out what was going on pretty quickly. The fentanyl wouldn’t touch the headache. They immediately airlifted me to Vanderbilt where I was in ICU for 10 days. Of course this is during Covid so no visitors or family could visit. Honestly with how I felt it didn’t really bother me but I can’t imagine what my wife went thru on the outside. After the 10 days they sent me home only to have to drive the 2 hours back the next morning after a night of vasospasms. I spent another 3 days in ICU before being discharged. I’m now almost 3 months out and have been back to work since week 3 (only partial days for a couple of weeks). Started back in the gym a couple of weeks ago after getting the all clear from my dr. The headaches are getting better but the dizziness is still very much there. I also feel like I can’t relax. Hopefully this feeling along with the dizziness goes away sooner than later. Not being able to relax is starting to make me feel like I’m in a slight state of depression. Instead of feeling greatly for surviving such a traumatic event I seem to lean toward the side of being sad and depressed. Guess it’s just hard grasping what I went thru and that things like that can happen in a heartbeat. Add to that... almost 2 years ago to the day I had 90% blockage in my LAD and got a stent. That seems to compound my emotions. I’ve always been a confident person and my drs told me that everything in my head looks great and all of my arteries around my heart are in pristine condition. The only thing that I can be sure of is that God must have a plan in all of this. Whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right!!?!?
  21. 3 points
    Hello everyone, My name is Ann from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. I had my first SAH December 10, 2010. My ruptured aneurysm was coiled. This site was very helpful to me during that time. I was grateful to know that I was not alone. It took me 10 months to fully recover and Behind the Gray has been my constant and loyal companion. Although, I was not an active participant I found comfort in knowing you were all in “my team.” Fast forward to July 16th, 2020 around 9pm, I was in bed trying to sleep. My 7 year old son came to the room and asked if I would watch TV with him. As I was getting up, I felt a sharp pain on my head and felt pressure as intense as the one I felt almost 10 years ago. My husband took me to emergency. I remember bits and pieces of that night. I woke up the next day in a hospital bed. Two doctors came to talk to my husband and I. It was the same aneurysm from 2010 ruptured again. The coils somehow detached. They were unsure if coiling would work again or if they have to put a stent. I was annoyed that they would discuss this in front of me. It made me really scared that I might die. I was sad that I couldn’t even hug my son before I go to surgery. Only 2 designated visitors are allowed per patient and no children younger than 14 because of Covid. Thank God the surgery was successful. They had to put 4 new coils. There’s a discussion of putting a stent 4-6 months from now. I have mixed emotions about this but if it needs to be done I’m all for it. I go back and forth to wondering why? Why again? I vividly remember asking my Neurosurgeon in 2010 the likelihood of this happening again and he said it’s unlikely. I had scheduled CT scans and MRIs every anniversary after my first SAH. In 2016, it was cancelled for some reason. It was rescheduled for 2018. I believe because of budget cuts. I urged my family doctor to book me one and it’s scheduled this December 2020. Would they have seen the coils falling off had they kept my scans? I guess we’ll never know. I wanted to share my story and hope it might help someone. I wish I advocated for myself more to have the yearly scans. Knowing what I know now, I will definitely fight for it. Thank you for reading my story and thank you for keeping up the site to support all of us. It means a lot! ❤️ Ann
  22. 3 points
    Hi Ann sorry you had another bleed hope you have a speedy recovery xxx
  23. 3 points
    Hi Carolyn, I didn't find out about the driving thing until my first appointment with the stroke nurse, well over a year after. Although I had a licence I wasn't feeling well enough to drive even by that point and so hadn't looked at the info here or realised I had to let the dvla know. Oops! They were nice about it and I did get my license back but I've lost all driving confidence (never high in the first place) and still haven't driven. It made job applications tricky but I now just say I don't have a licence! As for the fear/anxiety I definitely found the counselling help. It has given me ways to break out of the thought pattern that every headache is a new bleed but it is still there to some extent. I do get anxious when I get a bad headache out of nowhere in the same area that hurt at the time, I can handle headaches that build but the ones that sneak up on me unawares or that I wake up with do still cause a bit of panic, which of course increases the pain. This is also where the counselling came in useful. I have a mental checklist of things to check and should a certain threshold be reached I have a plan of action... The fatigue and mental woolliness have actually been harder the learn to live with, and I do still tend to over do things on some days and pay for it for a lot longer afterwards but I'm gradually learning to both pace myself & to not beat myself up when I over do it. Fluids, rest & listening to your body are essential but so is asking for help when it all gets too much. take care
  24. 3 points
    Hi Carolyn, Remember fluid is in foods too, so it doesn't necessarily mean just water. Tea and coffee, fruit juice,milk etc is ok. There is also water in melons and cucumber, fruit etc etc. Just drink small amounts regularly throughout the day, as well as taking in foods that contain water. Time is the great healer in this, and everyone is different in this regard. Resting well is as important as exercising well, but get the advice of your own doctors before embarking on any exercise regime. Doing what you want to do, and what you need to do, are sometimes very different things and doctor knows best! Also listen to your own body and stop if and when it tells you to! All great advice above, I hope it has helped you. Mental support is vital, and we all benefit from sharing experiences on here. If you are on your own, don't let things build up inside you, or let your imagination run away with itself. You (we) need to balance our own thoughts and you do that by talking to others who know and understand what you are going through. that is why this site is so valuable. You come across people who have the video and the T shirt, so to speak. If you feel you need to talk, come onto the site and say what you feel, tell your problem and someone will answer you. We just can't give medical advice that's all.
  25. 3 points
    So sorry to hear of your loss. I haven’t been on here for a while. Win was always so positive and upbeat. Singing to everything. She will be greatly missed.
  26. 3 points
    Hi Vicky, I am also so happy you found this site, it proved to be very helpful for me. Vicky I am so very sorry what happened to you, you are smart seeking counseling. Vicky I had my SAH 3 years ago which was followed by severe vasospasm...I had returned home from my SAH and a day later my vasospasm episode occurred...when it did I was alone, I was able to call for help on the phone but then remember nothing...things were scattered about my house and my family told me about what I was saying and doing at the hospital (all of which I remember nothing)...it was very hard for me to accept all of it, some of it seemed not like me at all. I kept asking questions after it happened and my family keep asking me questions...it was difficult and I did seek counseling, but I waited 2 years, with the feeling PTSD was affecting me...I wish I had gone sooner. This site has been so helpful to me as so many of us have experienced not your exact situation but each of us has had many things happen to us. Time has been my biggest friend...you are still not far away from your event...time is so helpful. Be very patient and kind to yourself and try and see that your loved ones really don't understand. They would learn tons if they come to this site. I wish you well as you continue to recover. xx Jean
  27. 3 points
    Hi Shell'ey, I just read your post with interest. I have spotted a couple of potential issues and I hope by pointing them out that I may help you. It is interesting that you, yourself are a rehab therapist. So here goes: 1) A brain injury is invisible, so only you can understand how it has changed you on the inside. So you have to keep communicating to others about how it has affected you. It doesn't all have to be negative - it can be "It did this to me but this is how I coped with it....." 2) Are you helping everyone else without looking at yourself - is that acting as a kind of trying subconsciously to convince yourself that you are ok, when really you aren't? Does the current pandemic take you back to your own struggles, and the subliminal messages it presents you with, makes it unbearable? Maybe it is time to confront those issues and take some counselling yourself? It is a big person who admits to that, especially when you are 'in the profession.' Is that an option for you? Worth considering in my book! 3) Is your fitness regime now part of your rehab? Do you need to explain that what you do is only a fraction of what you did before? 4) Have you checked the conditions for you to receive he benefit you have applied for? Does your fitness regime fit in with it? Do you think they would refuse you the benefit if they knew you were doing it? Could you get a note from your doctors to explain it so you still comply with the benefit rules? 5) Brain injuries are notoriously slow to recover from. The passage of time does not always fit in with other peoples ideas of how long it should take to recover. It actually takes as long as it takes and no amount of cajoling by others will make it be any faster. 6) Don't beat yourself up about it. Anyone who has had a brain injury is a hero in getting on with life, in whatever capacity they are able to. It sounds like you are doing remarkably well. When you watch a magician on TV, you know its a trick, but you don't know how they did it. A brain injury is no trick but they still don't know how you do what you do! So tell them. And then tell them again. You are a walking miracle, a testament to the modern skills of doctors and nurses, and you are a testament ,too, to your own resilience and power to adapt. Those are my thoughts about what you have just said. I hope I am reading you right, I do not mean to cause any offence, just to try and help you. Sometimes we can't see the wood for the trees. I have been guilty of that myself, especially in the early days after my 'event.' I hope this has been of use to you. Best wishes, Macca
  28. 3 points
    Hi Packcuz A very warm welcome to BTG Glad you found us. You have really been through it, also your family. Not surprising you are feeling a little sad and depressed, it is very early days in your recovery. Things will get better, it just takes time. Sometimes one step forward, two steps back if you push too hard. Be kind to yourself, listen to your body, rest up as much as possible and drink lots of water, it really helps. The dizziness will improve, but even now if i over do things i get a little dizzy. Your body has a way of telling you when to slow down. I totally agree whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger Well done on getting back to work so early. You should be feeling very proud after going through such a huge traumatic trauma. Wishing you well with your recovery and we look forward to hearing more from you. Feel free to join in the daily banter in the Green room. Take care Tina
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