Jump to content


  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Everything posted by Carolynusa

  1. I loved your mom so very, very much. She was my great friend and I will miss her dearly. Love to you and your family. Carolyn
  2. Hi all! Some great responses to Jan's question! Now...it wouldn't seem right if I didn't throw my thoughts into the arena, right? ? I agree that the question/comment is something people would say just as a way of saying, "hey..I notice you and am aware you have been Ill.". I believe those people mean well but don't have a clue what to say after that unless you engage them in a deeper discussion. Mostly I find that it is easier to smile and say something like..."I'm doing pretty good...thanks for asking.". These kind of things so often awkward..for both sides. But! Regarding "where is there?".... Yes you feel like you might be getting "somewhere" ☺ as you see your scars healing, you have more energy, etc. I am a little more than two years out and, in the last few weeks, suddenly realized.....wow! It,s a miracle that I am still here! I finally see it and accept it! Took a while but I finally feel I might be getting "there"! I think that shows in your eyes at that point and people will pick up on it. Jan....you will definitely feel "there" and I feel like you are on the "fast track"! Be well all Carolyn ✌✌
  3. Hi Nicola! It sounds as if you are doing all of the right things to take care of yourself and to join a support group such as this. The site has helped me so much. I didn't have a clue about my Sah and what to expect after. 17 days in hospital not bad! Great news on your post sah symptoms and your seeming lack of physical disability. That is so wonderful! You are a tough little Nicola. The advice and support from above posts are great. Remember water and if you have concerns or questions, don't rule out seeing your physician. Please let us know how you are doing. Again...you sound great at such short time after event. Good job! Much best wishes to you Carolyn ✌
  4. Hello Mum of Five I have been thinking about you and wanted to check in and say hello. Hope things have improved for you and your family. I found more things we have in common! Cats, for one. Then...I have a son who is bipolar/schizo affective. He will be 30 next month. He currently lives with us and can have strong bouts of depression. Kind of changes the whole atmosphere in the home, doesn't it? I had a brother-in-law that was hurt badly at work. He was depressed for a year or so but he came back. I hope this is the same with your husband. You certainly have a lot on your shoulders but it seems you are strong enough to deal with it, even if it's hard. I know that's easy to say but try to believe it. Try telling yourself over and over each day, "I can do this...." I think you are great! I'm sure your family does too. One funny thing to help cheer you up before I go: I came into my room to write this to you..and ran into a wall ! Take care Carolyn ✌
  5. Hi mum of five: You sound a lot like me. I am older than you and my sah is also about 2 years out. I know what it's like to feel so crazy with your memory. If someone asks me to bring coffee I am more likely to show up with a potato! I have always been a very proud word person. Typing, spelling, reading, etc. Nobody could ever beat me at scrabble .now I am finding I have to ask my son how to spell a word or so. Geez! I wobble around the house also but seem to be better on a straight surface, I.e. sidewalk. Here's a difference! I hate my short term memory but love my long term. The most amazing things will pop out of my mind from years ago! I am happier alone myself. I feel more positive that way. You are not alone in that. I certainly don't believe you are a bad person OR a battleaxe. You are just a little different than you were before sah. Have you talked to a neurosurgeon about your feelings? I did and took a 3-hour test to check my memory. That would have been great except I forgot to go back for results! Take good care Try a doctor Don't beat yourself up Carolyn ✌✌
  6. Hi Jan! Funny about you needing to kick yourself in the behind. My husband would like to kick me in the behind at least once a day. Since Win described us I decided I had better tell you the "real" us Win is a great singer. Keith will vouch for that. She is also a chocolate sneak. Don't bring any around her if you value your life . Sub's is indeed a Scotty dog... Wait! I meant a Scottish man. He drinks lots of lattes, eats lots of butterys, and some other weird Scottish food . I'm from U.S. so I don't get it. Lol. He also is very, very in love with Mrs. Subs. An amazing carer. I'm perfectly normal and don't let those two tell you otherwise . There are so many other great people in Green Room. Stop by! Carolyn✌
  7. Hi Jan... Sorry to keep gabbing at you, but I thought of one other thing. Sorry if I said this before. Maybe people are looking at you differently because they can't believe that you are still alive and came out of it with most facilities intact. Yay for you! Think that when you look in the mirror. You are a miracle! Be happy please Carolyn
  8. Hi Jan - I read your poem just now and am sorry you feel sad about the "new you". I just wanted to say that the last line is the best. I think you will be also. Ignore the people you think are looking at you differently. Smile at them and bravely stand up and walk..as you have that ability! Some don't. Give yourself a break, Jan. I believe you will begin to love yourself again in due time. You said it.."I will be". Take very good care and try to remember you are still beautiful. Carolyn I was in Hosp. 7 weeks and had a lot of scars, etc. Hair shaved, shunt scar, shark bite..you know. We stopped somewhere on the way home because I had been craving Mexican food so badly and just walked right in and ate. I didn't care what people thought of me. I still feel that way with a few exceptions. I look in the mirror and don't see much difference. I am me with some glitches. Maybe it is because I can't remember who I was!
  9. Jan! A year has passed and you are still strong and moving forward! I know it hasn't been a nice walk in the park, but you did it! I'm so excited for you. Wish I could hug you. John sounds like a wonderful partner and it's a shame about his mother. But...he understands and take great care of you. I think it' a rare person that doesn't think "why me????!". Despite that you are here. Good luck with testing...and you are right! Go forward. Take good care. Follow Win's advice and have a happy anniversary. Love and best thoughts to you. Carolyn
  10. Win - Carpenters. Wow! Christmas in Illinois...how great! One thing though..Sub's can't bring any of that ****** sausage..and Win has to bring some "dark" choc..maybe with a few raisins in it? Oh Sub's! I almost forgot! I bought a new duvet and it needs a little IRONING. I'll ship it post haste. Seriously my friends ..thank you so much. See you at '3'✌ 2-year old Carolyn
  11. Thank you for your comments. I hope you don't mind but I would like to add just a little bit= I consider my survival a miracle. Sure, my body comes up with a few little weird things once in a while, but I can live with that. My short term memory annoys me at times but...my long term memory is SO wonderful! Oh..the things I have remembered! If there is a new survivor looking in, I hope this gives YOU hope. There IS hope for you also. Much love and thanks Carolyn
  12. Two years.. Thanks to all of you for helping me get through. Special thanks to my pal Win. Not a day goes by that she can't make me smile and take my mind off myself.
  13. Hi Jan - I'm so sorry that you're feeling so let down by your brain and what happened to it...the after effects. My Sah was June 2014. I had 3 aneurysms. 1 coiled, 2 clipped. Lots of post-sah testing. One day my surgeon called me into his office to show me a new, small one. I think they call those "snowmen"?? He said he wasn't worried about it but I would definitely keep up with your physician on it. My short term is also nuts . see if you now remember old things that you might have forgotten for a long time. That's kind of how balance out my memory issues. Can you get someone reliable to help with your business for a while? Sleep, hydration, etc. Very important. Don't beat yourself about any of this. I believe you will feel better and so should. Good luck with everything and keep us posted. Take good care Carolyn
  14. Hello Kerry You sound exactly like me! I'm coming up on two years and find my memory and speaking problems so much like yours. I say the weirdest things. Sometimes it's funny and sometimes it makes me a little upset. I also have the most amazing memory incidents. Lots of times I can't remember what I was doing 1 minute after I started doing it. BUT I will pull something out of my memory I hadn't remembered for 40 years. I love that part of the memory thing. I used to type or write a lot and recently have found it very hard to do. So interesting how our brains respond to damage such as we have had. I agree with suggestions from others. If it's bothering you or scaring you a lot please check with a doctor or neurologist. I think you might feel a lot better. Take care. Keep us posted on your progress. Your friend Carolyn
  15. Hey Bronc - I was lucky I think. I had a headache for about 3 days before SAH. It wasn't bad but annoying and noticeable enough for me to whine and take about 300 Ibuprofen (jk about amount). I went to bed that night and about 4 am woke my family with the noise of me having the SAH. I don't remember any of it to this day. I read these posts describing their SAH and feel so bad because I know I was lucky to have avoided being conscious of the "blow". Take care Carolyn
  16. Hi Daffs! Post Traumatic "Growth"? Is the inference that PTS can be healed over time? I can throw this out there = an inpatient psychiatrist came to visit me post coma. After talking to me for a while (I had no idea who she was and just rattled on for a while lol) and telling her some of my childhood stuff, she was kind of freaked out and said "you have pts from 2 separate things. She was stunned. I like to think my original PTS has - or had - mellowed some but that is a hard thing to understand when you have it. I used to think it was hokey but now I'm not so sure. I have a history of depression, some extreme - so maybe it was caused by original pts and I just didn't realize it. But, having said that, if you are asking if by "growth" it might mean it gets worse over time - I'm not sure. Maybe. And in what form? Curious too Carolynusa
  17. Hi Susan - glad you're in USA so I don't have to do all that conversion stuff. I'm in Illinois. Sorry about the weight thing...really. Going on 2 years and have gained over 20 pounds. Wouldn't eat in the hospital so had to have a feeding tube. So..lost about 16 pounds and when I got home lost another 12. That was really cool to me. I could put on clothes I hadn't worn since I was 6 By the way I still leave burners on and other ridiculous things. But..as a family we watch carefully. Back to weight...it took a couple of months or so to begin eating again. First it was espresso chip ice cream for weeks. Then my husband brought home a key lime pie. I've eaten about 50 of those. Then.....back came the chocolate. Yikes! So I gain and gain. A lot of strange things still happen to me from Sah so I try not to beat myself up about. Many of the things you mentioned could have side effects that would cause this. I would keep pursuing this with your docs until they give you some answers and a plan to help you. Finally! Please don't be angry with yourself or feel depressed. I am sure you are beautiful and can feel that again. Some things take time. Quit looking at your scales. I let mine get so dirty I can't read them One step at a time and you will be so proud of yourself. Take care. See your doc when you can. Hold your head up high! Best of luck on your journey! Carolyn (please don't tell Win about my chocolate..lol)
  18. Hi Nat - I wish I could throw fairy dust on you to help ease your mind. It's a hard thing to handle without some kind of help. The messages above should help in that most of us have or had some kind of issue relative to what you described. You are definitely not alone. I had a whopper close to 2 years ago; in a coma for a month; another 4 weeks before I went home. Don't remember any of it. I was terrified of a lot of things, including the possibility of another bleed. I won't lie, Nat...I sometimes feel like that again. My head might hurt more than usual so I am sure it is going to happen again. I'm still here! I worry less and less about that. Aftercare helps. Ask for it. Take every opportunity you can to help you feel better and reassure you. Read some threads on this site. Don't give up on yourself! I can tell you are strong. Use your strength now. Try to be as positive as possible. It helps! Come back and be our friend. Friend's are great when you are fearful. Be well and positive. Hope you will come back and keep us posted on your progress. Positive thoughts to you. Carolyn P.S. Win is right about music and smiling!
  19. oh Daffs...sorry I missed your anni. I'm so happy that you are here on btg to let us all share this with you. You have been an inspiration to me also since I joined. I believe you are one of the wonderful people that hooked me up with you-know-who....my great pal Win and I've often thought of you when I speak to her. Your next four years will be great for you without a lot hiccups - I know. You made it 4 years! Yahoo! Much love, Carolyn
  20. Hi Sarah! So glad you have found this site. Lots of threads to research. The site made me feel not so alone and gave me a lot of hope. My Sah was June 3/2014. Notice I remember exactly what the day was I had a headache so bad in hospital that I was given a multitude of pain medication. Was even given eye patch to keep sun off right eye. I still get some headaches but not nearly as bad as those in hospital. I notice the following things seem to cause a headache: noise although not TV that much; stress! I go right up to my quiet room at that time; too much sunlight! Too much of my own annoying voice; and too much coffee etc. I commend you for trying to return to work. It's something I know won't work out for me..but I think you are a strong and dedicated person to try to "go for it'. I wish you well. Don't forget to stop on site and let us know how you are doing. Oops! I forgot the following: drink water, avoid stress and keep seeing doctor for headache. Sorry I gave such a long speech. I always picture members saying "oh no! Pack a lunch..Carolyn is back Take care Carolyn
  21. Sorry guys! Win made me do it! Kidding. Sorry Bronco and Xmartz. Carolyn
  22. Bronco: What!?!? Do tell Hope you are great! Carolyn
  23. Hi all...sorry been away so long. Bipolar son moved in with us and it has been a roller coaster ride. I won't rave on about that however as none of us wants to be depressed. Blah. Chris! Wow! Amazing, honest, heartfelt post. I hope you are rising above the feelings of dismissal and, I think maybe some loneliness. I have felt the same so you are not alone. It's been a year and a half and I still feel like that at times. Win taught me to sing and now I won't stop! Lol. I have lost 5 pounds dancing around the house! Keep smiling and try not to give too much credence to your sad feelings. I think you will feel better as time goes on. My best to you. Hi xmartz. I think I was just trying to make US ssi or SSSI sound like it makes sense...lol. I am on SSDI. Are you from US? Haven't read older posts yet so not sure you had mentioned it. Take care and write back if you feel like it. Good to be back and will catch up as I can. Keep on truckin'! Carolyn
  24. Super! Your 12th is Super-iffic! Congratulations young lady. Keep travelling and have the best times of your life. You deserve it. You are a wonderful inspiration to all of us and, for that, I thank you very much. Take care...Be well...book your flight to Illinois....take Win some chocolate...and more and more and more. Love life! You earned it. Not sure - but I have never seen you at Subs house IRONING his duvet. That would be a wonderful trip for you - lol. Love bunches Carolyn
  25. WOW Gemma! Congratulations to you for pushing through all you have been through the first year of your recovery. I am so very happy for you. Stay well and I see no reason for you and I not speaking to each other in this room another year from now. Good luck with the driving thing Love Carolyn
  • Create New...