kempse

My sincere thanks to you all for your replies with the kind words, love and hugs. It's all very touching. I was busy liking all the comments, but apologies to those last few who didn't get one as my quota ran out, they were certainly no less liked that the ones before. I've actually had a rather quiet day - I made two attempts to visit my parents, the first attempt I abandoned due to the main road being closed for some reason. When I did get there I fell asleep! I was trying to remember earlier if I broke a mirror on the 8th Nov, 2008 ~ just a thought... Sarah

My story part 2! (The icon that appears 3 times in this post is supposed to be the letter b with ) round it, but despite trying to amend it, it won't shift, perhaps I'll leave it ) Today is 7 years on from that awful day when an aneurysm I never knew I had decided to burst. It’s not a day I like to dwell on, but I shall never forget the fear that day as my peripheral vision started closing in, just as if I was wearing a horse’s bridle with blinkers on and they were being pushed together in front of my eyes until I could only see what I can best describe as looking through an arrow slit in a castle. Despite having the presence of mind to call the emergency services, it was a long 11 days before the aneurysm was eventually coiled. Fortunately the sah didn’t leave me with too many problems - those I do have, I have learnt to cope with. I don’t have headaches and I am very grateful for that. I have probably had 7 MRI/angio scans in total, they regularly check the coiled one and another one which was found at the time of the bleed. I’m sure recovery would have been a lot easier if it wasn't for all the other bad things that have happened around me during the years since my sah. Supposedly, things happen for a reason – I’ve yet to discover the reason why I had a subarachnoid haemorrhage, why my Mum had breast cancer, why my Dad had a stroke, why my sister had bowel cancer, why my brother in law had a heart attack, why our nephew took his own life, why my 2 sister-in-laws have the same, incurable brain disease, why my husband lost his job, why he and my son have both had cars drive into theirs on different occasions, why burglars have visited my house twice, why when my father-in-law passed away did his son not present his Will to the court and deny his 10 grandchildren their small inheritance, why 2 men decided to drop through the roof of the bank where I’ve worked for 36 years and hold a gun to my colleagues’ heads, before tying them up in a dark strong room – the why’s go on and although I have no answers - life goes on ...... Fast forward to today, 8th November, 2015 and I’d quite like to forget about that coiled aneurysm but I can’t. A recent MRI showed some recanalisation of the neck remnant at the base of the aneurysm which has slightly enlarged. I was given two choices, a) have a formal angiogram and proceed with treatment or have a repeat MRI scan in 6 months time. The day I was given these two options my husband was across the city in another hospital in intensive care, so I had no hesitation in choosing option There I was discussing an aneurysm on my basilar artery and hubby had just had major heart surgery to replace his ascending aorta artery, the whole of which was dilated I’m guessing that taking option will result in option a) anyway – I feel I’m somewhere between the devil and the deep blue sea here. .I’m also beginning to get concerned for our three children – both parents with faulty vascular systems is surely not ideal. Pushing all that aside for today, my 7th anniversary, I’d like to say a special thank you to Karen and her team for creating this wonderful site. It has kept me sane since joining in 2010 allowing me to offload in the Green Room – a room which is so welcoming, friendly and often quite hilarious. And finally a big thank you to all the wonderful members on here, past and present. Despite adversity visiting you too, you are a wonderful bunch and have been a great pleasure to know. Sarah

I'm sorry I'm a bit late arriving on this thread Louise, but just wanted to congratulate you on reaching and achieving what you have over those past 16 years. I hope the lovely posts from your friends on here help you in some way to get you through this difficult week. I know you have been a member of this site for some years now and just by looking at the total number of posts you've made indicates your commitment of helping and inspiring others - well done Take care, Sarah

Hi Sue, Welcome to BTG, glad you found us That must have been a very tough start to your new married life at that time, especially with young children. Two of my kids were a very similar age to yours when I had my SAH, but I didn't have the misfortune of having to relearn talking and walking. It's lovely that you now have a grandson and one on the way - I'm still waiting! Take care, Sarah

Hi, I'm really sorry to hear that you've been through all this - I'm glad it is being investigated and hopefully they will be able to get to the bottom of it for you. It must be a very anxious time for you - I wish you all the best. Sarah

Hi Debbie, Good luck on 5th, I hope you get a positive result whereby the coiling is doing it's job and the other hasn't changed. Best wishes, Sarah

Hi Di (Poppy) It's nice that Daff's post inspired you to write down your thoughts - that's not always easy especially when things aren't going so well. I think Daff's posts are always inspirational and have helped many on here. I'm pleased that you are getting some benefit from the dietician and therapist, but concerned that you experienced so many problems since your treatment in August. I was wondering if you had any of them before your second coiling and stent procedure? I hope you don't mind me asking, but I've just learnt this week that I've got to go in at some point and have my third coiling on the same aneurysm but as I was in a state of shock when I was told, I forgot to ask any questions! I do have the opportunity to make another appointment beforehand to discuss it further though. Take care, Sarah

Hi Davie and a warm welcome to BTG All those after effects you describe are experienced by most of us who have had the misfortune to suffer a sah. You should find that these all improve over time, for me the unexplained crying lasted the shortest, followed by the tiredness (that was years not months) and well, the short term memory that's still a 'work in progress' - sometimes I think it doesn't work or progress! I'm sure you will find reading previous posts on this forum will reassure you that your recovery is following a similar pattern to many other members, past and present. I wish you well and as for work, I think the amount of time you were told to take off is the most realistic that I've heard anyone being told. I've heard of people being told they can return in a few weeks, a month, 3 months - I think sometimes these figures are plucked out of a hat by those who say them and I doubt that any of them have actually had to recover from a sah. I personally took 5 months off, but we're all different and unique, so there can't be a set rule. A subarachnoid haemorrhage is a serious event, but the severity is often graded on a scale which I'm sure will be noted on your medical file. Sarah

Good luck today Debbie I hope all goes well. I'm impressed with seeing someone an hour after an MRI - I'm still waiting for the results of my MRI and that was 7 weeks ago. Take care, Sarah

Hi Luke and welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear about your Mum. No matter how well she feels or looks, she has had a major trauma to her brain and obviously it takes a long time to heal. I think Daffodil has given a good insight into the things that maybe you could help with. When I came out of hospital (mine was nearly 7 years ago) I remember my 3 kids arguing about something trivial and me saying "please can someone take me back to hospital" - I just wanted peace and quiet. I appreciated any help with housework, washing, cooking, shopping, etc- I could do them all, but they all wiped me out to the point of needing sleep - sometimes there and then, other times the exhaustion would hit me days later. Frustration and tears are commonly part of the package too. It's hard to say exactly how your Mum will be, hopefully she will guide you with what will help she'll need. Wishing you all the best, Sarah

Hi Geoff, a warm welcome to BTG. Sorry to hear that you have had the misfortune to have experienced a sah - they certainly come as a shock, but with time and lots of it, you will improve and the anxiety should lessen. You will gain a lot of knowledge about recovery on this site as you read through the posts, much of which may be familiar to you as you progress through your own recovery. My sah was nearly 7 years ago and ever since then I have suffered with flashing lights (crescent and zig-zag in shape) on a regular basis. It was quite some time before I was told it was the aura of migraine, although luckily I don't have the headache that is usually associated with migraine. Do take the return to work as slowly as you can, it often takes more out of you than you think it might and it's quite common for the tiredness and fatigue to return. I wish you well, Sarah

Hi Sammy Ann, Well I had a glass of red wine with my meal tonight, on average I probably have 2 glasses a week. I wasn't told not to, but i can't drink more than one glass - because it makes me so tired and I fall asleep! Sarah

Hi Andrea, I had my first scan three months after it ruptured and subsequent coiling. It was following this scan that mine was found not to be fully occluded and I was advised to have more coils put in. I was told this should be done within the next 3 weeks - that 3 weeks turned into 8 months! So basically I was ok with the half filled annie for 11 months, but the waiting and worrying during that time was not much fun. Take care, Sarah

Hi there, a belated welcome to Behind the Gray. I have a second aneurysm, discovered at the time i had my sah nearly seven years ago. It has been monitored since then - initially annually then in 2012 it was decided it could be left 3 years before checking it again. I had my latest MRI five weeks ago today, but am still waiting for the results of that scan - I take it nothing too urgent was found! I presume you will be having your other ones checked? Best wishes, Sarah

So pleased you have got that over with Mandie. I wish you all the best during your continued recovery. Sarah

Apologies Macca for being a day late in wishing you a happy 5th anniversary. You've done remarkably well during those 5 years, bouncing back when things have not been easy and what's even more remarkable is the amount of people you have helped on here with your excellent posts which are always written in a caring and compassionate way. Here's to the next five (sorry, no icons with a bottle of bubbly ) Sarah

Hi Beth and welcome aboard It sounds like you experienced a traumatic ordeal one way and another. I'm glad you're now out the other side and can concentrate on your recovery. It's great that you say that you aren't physically affected, but just be aware that your brain has taken a traumatic hit and it will need plenty of rest to help it recover. I too had a paramedic who didn't realise it was a sah - I had called 999 as it was happening and he left my house saying 'I could take you to hospital, but you've probably got better things to be doing on a Saturday afternoon'. It was a week later that I finally got into hospital despite seeing and speaking to various medical people, including doctors, during that week. So it doesn't appear that in the 7 years since mine, things have improved much on that score So, yes, the fact that we survived is something that we should be truely thankful. I wish you all the best in your personal recovery, take care, Sarah

Hi Andrea and a warm welcome to this site. I'm sorry for the reasons you have joined us, but glad that you have! It seems you had quite a journey getting attended to. Sadly, it is all too common for a sah to be misdiagnosed as a migraine - which is unsettling to say the least. It's reassuring that they will be monitoring you. I too am being monitored (my sah was nearly 7 years ago and I have a 2nd aneurysm) and am currently awaiting the results of my latest check up. This event is very recent for you and I'm sure you will find it useful reading through some of the post on here to get an insight as to what you might expect during recovery. It is not a case of "one rule, fits all", we are all different and have unique, but similar experiences - many of which have been shared on here. I wish you well on your personal recovery, Take care, Sarah

Hi Sarah, I was so saddened to read of the situation you have found yourself in. I'm really sorry your beloved husband was taken from you and the children at such a young age. As with any trauma in our lives, it seems to bring all sorts of concerns to the fore, with so many unanswered questions going round and round our heads - the what ifs and why me etc. It can then get overwhelming and the release is to cry. This is a natural thing to do when losing someone so close to you, grieving is a very personal thing and whilst some people cope with it in their own way, others will seek help from organisations such as cruse bereavement which is here in the uk.,but I'm sure there will be similar organisations where you are. I'm not suggesting you will need help in this way, but in order to cope with all the things that come with being a mother, you will need to be mentally healthy in yourself. As others have said, a visit to your GP maybe a good starting point to explain how you feel. You mention your concern about your children - I would encourage you to try not to worry about this - the same thoughts have been through my own mind. I have 3 children, I had a subarachnoid haemorrhage and survived whilst my granddad had one and didn't survive. Likewise my kids won't be scanned as a matter of course, it is nearly 7 years since my sah and two of my kids are now adults. I have learnt to accept that just because I had a sah, doesn't mean they will too. I hope you can put this one at the back of your mind for the time being, which will enable you to focus on the here and now. I hope you do find some support to help you through this difficult time, being in a new city for a relatively short time is enough in itself for someone to feel 'lost', so don't hesitate to come back on here - there's usually someone around to offer support or advice. ~ best wishes, Sarah

Hi Issy, sorry I'm late in welcoming you aboard! Nice to meet you, although under other circumstances would have been nicer! It's still very early days for you, so you are doing the right thing in taking it steady. My sah was nearly 7 years ago, but I remember the wobbly feeling - with hindsight the two places I would have avoided, but didn't, were department stores and football stadiums. Both made me feel very peculiar - a combination of noise and crowds just don't mix well after brain injury. I had only gone to the football match to bring some normality to my then 8 year old son, but he was actually more concerned about me than the football and said "Mum, we can go home if you want". Like you, I also had two teenagers at the time, so I can empathise with your situation. Recovery does take time - and plenty of it, but things do and will become easier - I wish you well, Sarah

Mandie, I know all this feels scary for you, it's all new to you and it's natural to be apprehensive about the unknown. However, angiograms are not that bad. I've had two now, both of which I was awake and aware. My only regret is that I couldn't see the monitors with being short-sighted as I would have found that quite fascinating. They may be able to give you something beforehand to help you relax. The bench I was laid out on was the most uncomfortable part and whilst you have to remain still, you do have a head gadget to help with this. I don't recall them being at all painful and if dye is to be used, they will forewarn you and they should explain how that may feel at the time. Take plenty of nice thoughts with you, a previous holiday or something you've enjoyed - perhaps imagine yourself on the beach - if you can keep your mind occupied during this, it will soon be over. I know from previous experience that I have become too anxious about these things - the waiting and not knowing can be quite draining but you will get through this - it is all designed to make you better and that's what you want. Best wishes, Sarah

Hi Mandie, I have to agree with Daffodil, being pushed by anyone to do more in recovery is absolutely the worse possible thing to do! You need kind, gentle, encouragement, with lots of practical assistance otherwise you will struggle more than ever. Trust us, we know!! Sarah

Hi again Mandie, No, I didn't have a craniotomy, so I can't really answer your question. I had coils inserted, up through my femoral artery into the aneurysm. I also had this same procedure done 11 months later to add more coils. I have another aneurysm which is being monitored. I am due for an MRI in July/August and have already been advised that if this one should need operating on, then it will need to be a craniotomy and the thought of that does fill me with fear. I'm hoping it won't come to this, but if it did, I'm sure I would be asking the same questions as you are. I hope you can get some reassurance. Sarah

Hi Mandie and welcome to Behind the Gray. I'm sorry that you have had the misfortune to have suffered a bleed on the brain. A life changing event, but as far as I'm aware the chances of it happening again are very,very low indeed, so please try to eliminate that at least from your concerns. Forgetfulness and depression are very common following a sah and I think most of us have cried bucket full of tears, so let the tears flow, this should eventually ease off, although, like all symptoms they make take rather a long time to settle. We are all different with unique experiences, so it's tricky to be more precise with any advice. Patience and acceptance go a long way to helping recovery. You are still in the very early days of this, so don't expect too much too soon, this takes time and plenty of it! I too was 46 when I had my sah, although I never lost consciousness. My daughter was 13 at the time, my eldest son had his 16th birthday a week before and my youngest was 8, so I fully appreciate your feelings, as the same thing used to upset me. Recovery is very hard going when you have kids to care for as well as yourself, but mine were brilliant, they were made aware that I wasn't able to carry on as I had before and they soon got used to finding me asleep during the day! Take one day at a time, rest, drink plenty of water, expect a few steps back along the way, but have the belief that you will improve over time and perhaps monitor your progress in a diary - then check every 6 months or so and see how you have progressed. I wish you all the best, Sarah

Congratulations Michelle on your first anniversary yesterday. Hoping this next year will be a little easier for you, take care, Sarah