Colleen

Hi Myra, as Skippy said, listen to your consultant and go, no matter how long the trip.. Don't put it off. At the worst, if something is happening you will know and be treated. If it is a minor thing you will be relieved of some anxiety. Also, I agree with Jess that anxiety worsens any residual symptoms we have. Once you address your current issues you may want to consult with your dr on how best to control your anxiety. Take care, Colleen

Good morning (in US!) Sally, And welcome to this wonderful site. There is a wealth of archived information here; how much time do you have? LOL. As others have said, it is frightening to know you have some defective vessels in your brain. However, you have been so blessed to find out about them this way. I know you thought the food poisoning felt horrible, but trust me ---- it is NOTHING compared to a ruptured aneurysm. When end one of my aneurysms ruptured, they found I had a second one that was actually a more dangerous shape. Had it been the one to go, i would not be sending you this message now. So the ruptured one was coiled, but the second one had to be clipped. I had to wait for two months to heal from the rupture before I could have surgery. It was difficult to be sure, first because I felt sick anyway, then being scared. I can honestly tell you that the surgery was so much easier than the rupture. No matter what they decide for you, know you are fully blessed in that you will be monitored hence forth. Also know that when you see a neurologist or neuro surgeon that this is what they do. They have seen thousands of cases and will know what to do for yours. We will keep you in our prayers. As far as coming to the U.S. goes, it is a wonderful place, though a bit chaotic at the moment (noisy Americans, going to make their thoughts known!). We'll be here when you are ready to come. Colleen

Hi Myra, i I don't know the details of the extent of yor SAH, but it seems you went back to work quite soon. Did you file for FMLA? I know it only protects for a time (12 weeks total). Some places are very supportive of staff with critical medical issues, but not all. It's a shame. colleen

I know for a fact that our system in the US is not infallible, but I find this situation unbelievably scary and incomprehensible. Are there no other options or facilities to go to? I have no idea what all of that medical terminology means but I do know that any suspicion of SAH should be taken seriously. It is not only the initial damage that can be a problem, but secondary damage as the brain reacts to the bleed. Really Sophie, you must find yourself some qualified medical attention. Do you have family that can help you?

Hey Robert, welcome to BTG. Whew, you've had a lot of input already. I'm eight years past my SAH and it wore me out trying to process it all. There is something I did not see addressed that was pointed out by a neurologist I started seeing after struggling with SAH after effects for about five years. He explained the bleed caused part of the brain to die and showed me on the scans what areas were affected. He then explained the functions these areas controlled and possible results of their impairment. For example, one of the damaged areas controls fear response; I was having horrible bouts of anxiety. Just knowing what was happening and having validation as to why helped me immensely. I now take medication to help me stay on more of an even keel. You may consider having your neurologist walk you through your scans in a similar fashion. Your increased anger response could have a physiological, as well as psychological ( given the trauma of your attack) root. I will also echo others regarding fatigue. That is one thing that has not improved greatly. I simply cannot manage nearly as well on shortages of sleep and trying to power through with large amounts of caffeine only exacerbates some of the impairments. The combination also makes me more irritable than normal LOL. You will find a wealth of information on the numerous threads on this site. Importantly, you will see you are not imagining things and you are not alone. best wishes, Colleen

Congrats on the four year Anni-versary, Helen! The fear does subside with time, but like Sami, I am not letting mine get by without some recognition as a reminder and celebration that I survived. I believe we owe ourselves that! I'm not exactly the same either. I still get frustrated with memory issues and anxiety, but in other ways I think I've grown. Gradually you learn just how well you've compensated for your injury and how amazing that is. keep your chin up and may you have many more anniversaries! Colleen

Hi Sammy Anne, My heart goes out to you and your child. I cannot imagine what you have been going through. I hope you will be able to settle in for a while to get the rest and peace you need. I know in my case, stress and fatigue will cause pain, numbness, and general weirdness on the side of my head where the SAH occurred. That said, I agree totally with others that you should see a dr. If you are feeling badly. That is the only way to know for sure, and if it is from the extreme stress you have been under, the reassurance will take a large weight from you. I truly hope you will feel better soon and that your daughter is managing to stay afloat through this struggle. Lifting up prayers for your peace and comfort. Colleen

Congrats, Louise. Keep on rockin'! Love, Colleen

Hello All, November 1 come and almost gone, marking eight years since my ruptured aneurysm/SAH. I won't say I didn't think about it, but I don't get as anxious as I did in the early years. I've done well, maybe better than I deserve, but I am grateful that I was able to heal and return to my family. I am able to carry on life much as before except for the reduced stamina, fatigue, and memory lapses that are a common theme through our thread. I am also so grateful to have BTG to come to so that I don't feel as though I'm crazy or alone. Thanks y'all. I didn't make a celebratory cake, but I have plenty of Halloween chocolate candy left. Win??? Are you out there??? Cheers! Love, Colleen

Chris, Congrats on passing the one year mark and on all that healthy running you do. I was reading your post in the Green Room about feeling a bit anxious and I think that's normal; kind of like they say lightning never strikes twice, but we can never really say never. I was quite anxious on my one year Anni-versary and have often taken that day off from work to just spend peacefully at home (which is where mine occurred). You did great getting out and breezing by the site. I don't know that we ever stop glancing back, but the important thing is to stride forward and lend a comforting word or encouragement where we can. You are coming along fabulously! Colleen

Just wanted to chime in briefly. I had two Annie's clipped in 2008, in the US. My neurosurgeon did not prescribe anti seizure meds and did not discuss it as a possible outcome. As for us having privatized medicine, I can tell you the health insurance companies are definitely not in favor of paying for treatments or meds that are not necessary. Sometimes even when things are necessary they balk at paying. However, I've never heard that anti seizure meds are prescribed as a matter of course. Colleen

Hi Jen and welcome to the site. It truly is a wonderful place. So, I typed a rather involved response for you last night only to have the IPad freeze up and lose my stuff. I just didn't have the stamina to start over then. I had my SAH almost 8 years ago due to a ruptured aneurysm. I recovered relatively well for the extent of the bleed as I was blessed to get very excellent medical care very quickly (angels are among us!) and I didn't have vasospasms or other serious complications. I will say that the brain does weird things when under assault. Even though I understood what had happened and why I was in the hospital from the get-go, I did have one day where things went wacky following an angiogram and I repeatedly asked my husband and sister where I was and why. This went on long enough for it to become quite tiresome to them. We laugh about it now, but it wasn’t so funny then. I was released after 11 days and my husband had me stay at my in-laws for a time so I wouldn’t be alone. I just wanted to be home to rest in my own surroundings. REST is the most important thing your husband can do right now. The brain does not like to be bled upon and it takes TIME for that blood to breakdown and go away. I think Daff’s response is quite excellent. Like her, most people would not guess I have brain damage from the SAH. Depending on many variables, the brain is able to rewire itself to some degree, to compensate for cells that die. What we must adapt to is the fact that the “new” areas are not as adept at performing a given task as the original area was, kind of like people; we all have some natural talent that we are a whiz at and then there are the things we do serviceably well. Over time, we learn to adjust and figure out what we must work harder at (like memory) or limit (like trying to multi-task) or not beat ourselves up about (like getting freaky in the grocery store because there are too many colors and boxes and labels – that still gets me after all this time). My short term memory is horrible at times. I don’t have children, but the pets names get jumbled all the time until I just say “whoever you are”. Recently I was doing a grocery list and couldn’t remember the name of a laundry soap I’ve used for years. I ended up writing “gentle cycle soap”. For the life of me the name would not come then just popped into my head a couple days later. It’s unsettling, but not the end of the world. This experience is so fresh for your husband – and you – right now. When I think back, I believe I was in a degree of denial about magnitude of what had happened. Initially, I worried about getting back to work and other stupid stuff instead of taking the opportunity to recognize what the true priorities are. I know it’s hard, but tell your husband not to be in hurry. He may have headaches for awhile, he may have bouts of anxiety, and he’s bound to go through a range of emotions. Any of that would be normal for what he’s been through. REST, REST and REPEAT. Prayers for patience and progress. Colleen

Sharon is quite correct about the healthcare folks being required to fully inform us of details and risks. I remember when I was being prepped for the craniotomy a young resident physician came in and began to detail all the steps of the surgery. When I told him I didn't need to know the details he insisted I must hear them and still consent to the surgery. I'm may have run down the hall if I hadn't been all hooked up to tubes and had my husband to keep me from leaving! Try not to stress too much; that definitely won't help anything. Colleen

Hi Jan, I can say I wasn't really given a choice following my ruptured aneurysm in Nov. 2008. While the ruptured anni was coiled immediately, a second, wider-necked aneurysm was found during all the scans and angiograms. I don't remember the size it was, but my neurosurgeon was quite firm about needing to do a craniotomy to clip it as soon as the blood from the rupture dissipated from my brain. So two months later I had the surgery. Since the two aneurysms were close together, the dr. went ahead and clipped them both. I had follow-up angiograms at year one and two post-bleed, then a few CTA scans over a period of four years. I've been told I no longer need monitoring as the clips aren't going anywhere. I was very nervous about having the craniotomy and my interventional radiologist at the time told me there was no need to worry, that Dr. Kim had done this surgery so many times and he is very good at what he does. Turned out it was much easier recovering from the surgery than the SAH. Even being reassured that the clips make me aneurysm-free, I am paranoid whenever I get any out of the ordinary weirdness in my head. I definitely do not regret the clipping surgery. However, if your doctor is giving you a choice, he must not be seeing your unruptured aneurysm as an imminent threat. I guess it comes down to how much it stresses you to continue with monitoring. Best wishes, Colleen

Happy Anni-versaries Rob and Sami. I always appreciate getting one more year between me and the SAH and imagine you do too. Hope you keep getting better and better! Colleen

Hmm, things definitely are different across the sea. My GP wouldn't have a clue about my SAH status, other than that I had had one. If I needed an assessment of my capabilities, it would have been my neuro specialists to make the determinations. They also decided when scans and rechecks needed done. I basically go to my GP to keep the referrals up to date. Colleen

Hey Jan, I returned to my work full-time three months after my SAH, which was due to a ruptured aneurysm, and one month after the surgey to clip that aneurysm and another that was found during all the scans. That was nearly eight years ago. It's been difficult at times, especially side I've had very long commutes. I can't accomplish nearly as much as I used to in my off time, but I'm grateful to be managing as well as I do. colleen

Quite frankly, I don't know where "there" is any more than I know what "normal"is! When I was much younger, I rode horses, played a little guitar, read poetry and ate ice cream without gaining weight. Life progressed and I spent hours studying to earn a Master's in my science field, then I worked and commuted for hours to keep up with a career. If that's where "there" is - working 50-60 hours a week for folks who really didn't appreciate it anyway - well I'm glad that's no longer where I WANT to be. The SAH has left me challenged, and some days definitely have felt like one step forward, two back. However, nearly eight years out I am accepting of the difficulties but also cognizant of my strengths. I'm also finally becoming wise enough to know my limits and more willing to say "time out" without feeling guilty. i think for any person who continues to grow, "there" changes with the progression. So, why should it be any different for us? When "there" ceases to move, we'll be upstairs talking to God about what it was all for!

Hi Michelle, Sorry I missed your big day, but it sounds as though it was a pretty good day overall. As for Verdun, well maybe he just doesn't like to remember. After all, he probably didn't get a fresh cake that day! Your neighbors must love you with all the baking - and sharing-you do. That, right there, is an amazing display of your consideration and kindness. Here's hoping that Iife gets better and better for you!

Happy Anni- versary to you Jan. it's a day that will remain engraved on your memory, to be sure. For the first few years, I took that day off from work, just to reflect. I'm convinced that there is a purpose for the survival, just not entirely sure what it is, LOL. I hope you get positive news on your scans.

Hi Julie, We must always remember that each case is different and your doctors will be most informed about your needs. I was blessed to receive very fast treatment following my rupture, and I did not have any hydrocephalus or vasospasms. My husband literally stayed with me round the clock at the hospital and watched me like a hawk for the slightest sign of complication. The only ones I had were minor in comparison to your experience. Take your time to heal well. Colleen

Hi Julie, I am glad to hear of your progress. I know it can be frustrating, but as others have said it takes time for your brain to heal from this assault. It will get better. I also know that after all you've been through, the thought of brain surgery is not a comfortable one. I had one aneurysm that burst and was coiled and a second one that needed clipping. The craniotomy was done two months after the bleed and my surgeon ended up clipping both aneurysms to make sure there are no future issues. I was in the hospital for three days total for the surgery. The recovery was nothing near like recovering from the bleed. I returned to work about three weeks or a month after the surgery. We'll all be praying for your continued recovery and successful surgery. Colleen

Congratulations Carolyn! You bring such a positive attitude to this site and I'm always happy to see your posts. I can't tell you your short term memory will ever stop being a vexation, but I think you will continue to see improvements overall. Hope you had some chocolate cake to celebrate! Love, Colleen

Congratulations on the five year anni-versary. You are terrific support for your wife and a great contributor to the site. Congratulations also on your fund raising, what a great way to celebrate the day!

I remember things from the past quite well, sometimes with ridiculous detail. It is the recent that I have problems with. Often, with enough clues and prompts the info will come back to me, but I sometimes wonder how many folks have thought to themselves that I was playing with a full deck. I write myself lots of reminder notes.........