Sasbo

Hi Bay Everything you have described is everything we've all been through. It IS still very very early days. Regarding the memory stuff, my neuro-surgeon described it really well and simplistically (which I needed at the time!) - memory is a photograph in the brain and sometimes negatives get damaged or lost.....that statement still rings true with me and helps when I get frustrated over the memory thing even after 4 years. We'll never be the same again and the hard thing at first is accepting the new you. You will, in time, but first try and be patient and listen to your body in these early days. Lots of love and understanding Sarah x

Hi Nora, great to meet you. This site is great for advice, peace of mind and, most particularly, meeting fantastic people Sarah xx

Hi Caz I too am an echo of what the others who have gone before have said. I'm almost 3 years on from SAH and almost 2 years on from 2nd annie clipping and have still not accepted that I can't step back into that phone booth to become superwoman. I still hugely miss the old me and cannot fully accept that she won't be back but I know I have to. Also, memory is pretty cr*p - oh, who am I trying to kid, it's totally cr*p, but on here and at meets we all get to laugh at ourselves because we are all going through the same thing and it is so therapeutic to be with people who absolutely understand. Don't get me wrong - there are many aspects of the new me that I like and I know are improved......a calmness, serenity and a willingness to accept whatever life might throw at us...... but I do miss 'sasbo superwoman'! I guess what I'm trying to say is we've all been to a similar place and all share what you are going through so you're not alone whilst you visit here. Good to read your story and do stick around, it's a great site. Sarah

Hi there Nora Glad you found us and I'm sure you'll find this site as friendly, welcoming and helpful as I have done since my SAH. Sarah

Hi Debbie I had SAH Sept 06 then another clipping Oct 07 and, sadly, am still trying to come to terms with what happened. A lot of other stuff has happened in my life too, which hasn't helped, but we all take different lengths of time to recover. It's a real up and down road for us all; I go through phases of thinking I'm absolutely 100% and then topple right back. It's frustrating but at least we're here - we're the lucky ones so do remember that and don't worry or feel guilty at all. Life's too short. Sarah

Thank you everyone, for your thoughts and comments. First session booked for a week on Monday so will let you know how it goes. I was trying to describe what's going on to a friend and the best I can come up with is that there is so much stuff whizzing round my head that I just can't get sorted and I need to file it all, and that's where I need the help, with the filing bit. Thanks again. Sarah ps - Anne, I wrote a blog for the first couple of years to try and get my brain working again - www.booshbarn.blogspot.com - it really helped and I still go back and look over it from time to time to see how far I've moved on. I was on there the other day and found a poem that I'd written (on the 'sub-blog' I have called Prose & Comms) and I cannot for the life of me remember even writing it!

Hi Not been posting for a while but have been bobbing in from time to time to look at posts and new topics. It’s been a tough few months on a personal level, although from a brain-healing perspective things seem to be getting a lot better physically. Psychologically, however, I can’t switch the bl**dy thing off! It’s as if a lot of the re-routing, the ‘roadworks’ around the annie sites, that’ve been going on during the healing process are now complete and these new routes are getting overloaded with a continuous stream of traffic carrying everything that’s happened over the last 3 years that it hasn’t been able to deal with as it’s been so busy healing itself. For those of you that don’t know me here’s what’s happened, in a nutshell. June 2006 my mum died suddenly so my partner and I moved up here from the South to live close to my dad in a barn conversion on his farm. We had to live with him, in his house, for almost a year whilst the conversion was going on (not that easy as you can imagine) and during that time, September ’06, I had my brain haemorrhage. We moved into the barn in July 2007, August 2007 my partner and I were married and in October 2007 I had the second annie clipped. My uncle also died that month, my Aunt and I were with him when he died. I was unwell throughout 2008 with repeated shingles, or so the doctors thought, and was completely run down, lethargic, piled weight on and couldn’t function properly. Basically I was in a deep, deep rut which is thought might have been caused by PTSD. Blood tests by the gallon were done to eliminate all sorts but we still don’t really know what the problem is/was as things have improved but I still have occasional relapses. In January 2009 my partner and I split up. It had all got too much and I guess I wasn’t the greatest prospect! The shock of that break up meant I lost a lot of weight (no bad thing) and, to keep my mind off things I joined a gym and have been exercising regularly. I have a part time job, freelancing PR, which I really enjoy particularly as I was so worried I’d have lost that ability post-SAH, but I haven’t. I’ve also applied to university for entry this September. My partner and I are on excellent terms despite everything that’s happened and see each other regularly. However, this overloaded brain seems to suddenly be making me acutely aware of all of the above and wanting me to deal with it all at once. It’s not easy having a head full of stuff like that, that’s been effectively hidden away during recuperation so I’ve bitten the bullet and am awaiting my first counselling session. I’ve been referred by my GP via BUPA because having tried the NHS counselling route I now feel I need counselling to get over trying to get counselling before I’m counselled for what I need counselling for! This is a really long post but perhaps it can be forgiven as I’ve got a lot of posting to catch up on? Does anyone else have, or have had, counselling and, if so, has it been helpful?

Hi Phil What magical news, you must be bowled over. Congratulations and especially well done to Sharon. Lots of love to you both Sarah xx

Hi Karen The PALS office at Stoke sent me a request form to see my records, which I've just completed. You can either choose to go and look at your records at the hospital (free of charge - just find a mutually convenient date) or have your records copied and sent which costs, from Stoke anyway, £50. However, PALS did say that you would probably need someone with a bit of medical knowledge to translate the 'doctor-speak'. My sister is a nurse so would be able to help me with that. Will let you know what happens at the next stage! Sarah x

Hi I don't think I have suffered any issues with sense of taste or smell although when in hospital post-SAH I found everything very, very bland. Put this down to hospital food though!! Sarah

Hi Karen I slept a LOT - almost consantly I've been told - when I came out of hospital and this continued for quite some months afterwards. I was then able to stay awake for a few hours at time but needed at least one sleep in the daytime each day. I don't recall any problems at night then. After the second clipping, a year later, I again needed to sleep during the day although it wasn't as intense as post-SAH. I still need to have a sleep most days although I'm currently being tested for another condition - ME, a rheumatism type or auto immune problems - which leaves me greatly fatigued. The doctor thinks that whatever is the problem was triggered by the SAH. However, there are some days when I feel relatively normal and other days when I'm very very tired. At least one day a week I'm confined to bed and sleep for England. Dreams are frequent and very, very vivid post-SAH. Sarah

Hi I was 46 (Sept 2006) and had SAH on the right hand side (not sure which artery). It was clipped with a titanium clip using the SOMIC* method, currently only undertaken by Mr Howard Brydon at University Hospital N Staffs and possibly one other hospital in the South. A second aneurysm was detected on the left hand side which was clipped just over a year later using the same method as above. *SOMIC - Supraorbital Microcraniotomy: New procedure, receiving approval from the National Institute for the Clinical Excellence in Summer 2004. An incision is made just above the eyebrow instead of the side of the head and a keyhole approach is used to put a clip across the aneurysm. Each of my scars is approx. 2.5 inches in length, creating a kind of double eyebrow approach - I call them my Sooty Scars! On a slightly different note, has anyone had access to their records re: SAH? I have a form to apply to see my records as I feel it would help a bit with 'closure' but still not quite ready to do it. Sarah (female)

Hi Lauren So sorry to hear of the worries that you're having to go through. Families, eh? It's not easy as I know from experience, which is nothing like as worrying as your experiences right now. So glad that you're able to open up about it on here, though, as there are so many understanding people who can help, in some small way, you get through. You're doing a fantastic thing and I can tell you'd not have it any way than being with your mum and enjoying as much as you can the time you have together. Lots of love and hoping things get better for you soon. Sarah xx

Hi Vaughan Welcome to BTG and the only place in the world where people really do understand! Hope to see more of you on the site. Sarah x

Hi Joanne Welcome to BTG. I agree with what everyone before me has written and I think you know, too, that you're not ready to go back yet. We've all been given a second chance, we're lucky, so it's even more important that we listen to our bodies. You'll know when, and if, you feel ready to go back but you should do - as recommended already - a phased return. Glad you found us! Sarah xx

Hi Debbie What're your details for Facebook? I can find you and add you as a friend then, so we can chat there. Sarah

What about approaching someone like the Lloyds Pharmacy chain for support? They always seem very big on awareness campaigns and have their own radio station too, which plays out in all the shops. Just a thought..... Sarah x

Hi Debbie Sorry not to have responded for a couple of days, not been on the site. Sure, would be happy to chat. Do you want to PM me? If you like you can either list some questions/concerns to which I can responde or let me have a phone number and I'll call you, whichever you prefer. Looking forward to hearing from you. Sarah xx

Hi Michael Phew, you've had a real rollercoaster ride in the last year but, hey, well done you for getting through it all so well. Here's to a much better 2009 for you both and congratulations for April for you milestone anniversary. Sarah x

Hi Kim Welcome to BTG and looking foward to chatting to you on here. Sorry to read about your Dad and then you, such an ordeal for, not only you, but your family to have to go through the same thing twice. Sounds like your recovery has been pretty complete and you've had such a successful post-SAH life which is great news. It's a great site here and hope you enjoy meeting all these great people as much as I have, I've made some lifelong friends on here that I'd probably never have met if it hadn't been for BTG. Sorry guys! Sarah x

Hi there Count me in too. No aftercare info and still floundering in some areas (mainly psychological). Someone mentioned whether it's ok to have a massage. When I was coming out of surgery from second aneurysm clipping my neck was really really bad (still suffer now) so Fiona was massaging it and a nurse told her off really, really sharply saying massage increases the blood pressure. As the only thing my neuro has told me is to watch my blood pressure carefully does this mean I can't have a massage again? So small areas of 'usual' life are being impacted on by little or no knowledge of what we can and can't do, or what we should avoid. Like most people on here I've had to fight for any post-SAH info and possible care which is probably easily resolved if the right resource(s) were available. Any help I can give let me know. Writing, editing, typing and proofreading are specialities of mine!!!! Sarah x

Hi All I'm two and a half years in now, or thereabouts, and still nowhere near the person I was, nor will I ever be. This is probably the hardest thing for me to accept. It's ironic really as I only really began to 'know me' and feel comfortable with myself from the age of 40, then the SAH and now having to start all over again! It's interesting, though, in a lot of ways, and just shows we should never take anything for granted. I still suffer greatly from fatigue and a myriad other painful symptoms, although I'm undergoing tests for this as the thinking is that it's ME or something similar (rheumatism, auto immune deficiency perhaps) which, whilst not caused by the SAH, it has probably triggered this debilitation. An interesting fact, and one that gave me great confidence in my GP, was that although my neuro-surgeon (for whom I shall forever be indebted for saving my life) said that recovery time should be the oft-repeated 3 months, my GP was totally honest and said that my life would almost certainly change quite dramatically and that I may not be able to work again and if I did it would certainly not be in the capacity that I had been. Whilst that seems, perhaps to some, defeatist or pessimistic, I found it refreshing that someone was being totally honest (sorry, repeated that phrase now but they're the only words to use!). So, onwards and upwards and here's to life whatever it may be like now! Love to all Sarah xx

Hi Debbie Welcome to the site. Early days for you but we're all proof that you'll come through. I read that you had a second annie to be treated? That happened to me. My SAH was in September 06; it was then they found the second one which was treated just over a year later (Oct 07). Both clipped. For me, there was no question of not having the second one done as I couldn't live with the thought that it might burst. I'm coming along fine and I'm sure all will be ok for you. Just take one day at a time, as the others have said, and don't punish yourself if things don't happen quickly enough......there's always someone here to chat to, who's been through or is going through just what you may be and we all have a great sense of humour (that's necessary!)!! Hope to chat soon Sarah xx

Hi Barbara Welcome to BTG. I can only echo a zillion times what everyone else has said - this is a great place to help your recovery, both mentally and physically, as we all share our experiences. There's always somebody who has been through what someone else is experiencing which really helps to put your mind at rest. It is early days for you yet and as someone else says it can often feel like one step forward two steps back, but that is normal and does improve. It's true, time is the great healer, but sometimes time can seem to move too slowly! Hang in and keep coming here, it will help. Lots of love Sarah xx

Hi Anne In some ways it was more traumatic as I was fully aware of it whereas with the SAH it was so sudden and I was not really compus mentus until after the surgery. Recovery time has been quicker in a lot of ways as there was less physical trauma to the brain but there is a tendency, I have found, not to be as patient with the recovery if you know what I mean. Because there was no initial 'explosion' and the surgery was elective I tended to be less patient with myself and am now paying for that psychologically. Hope this helps. Sarah xx