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zoe1zoe1zoe1

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About zoe1zoe1zoe1

  • Rank
    Member

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  • Biography
    2 kids, Luke 4 and Xara 9
  • Location
    Telford
  • Interests
    Cardmaking, Cake decorating James Patterson, Tess Gerritsen, Simon Kernick, Mark Billingham Lady Gag
  • Occupation
    Richard - Builder, me - IT
  • SAH/Stroke Date
    Richards SAH 18/03/10

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  1. Not good news I'm afraid. Doctors told Richards family on Christmas Day that his brain is too damaged to make any recovery. They are taking the trachy out and he will be moved to a ward to battle it out on his own where they will continue to tube feed him and turn him to prevent bed sores but that is all they can do. We are all devastated as Richard was the life and soul of the party and one of the nicest guys you could ever meet but this is one battle that was just too much for him. He could of course live for years in this state so the family are hoping to try to get him moved closer to
  2. Richard had a tracheostomy two days ago but unfortunately remains in a coma. Doctors have said there is no response as yet from his right hand side which was his good side following his sah a few years ago. His sister said he does open his eyes but there is nothing there, just stares vacantly. His family are all devastated xx
  3. Hi everyone. It's been a couple of years since I last posted but feel I should give an update on Richards battle. After splitting up he went to live with his parents but due to their age and ill health he moved into a small home round the corner. Here he lives with 5 other people with similar problems and 3 live in carers. He walks slowly with a tripod stick and still has no use in his left arm. His parents pick Luke up from school every Tuesday with Rich and they have a few hours together. Unfortunately, Xara is 12 now and at secondary school so has her own things to do so only sees him fo
  4. Hi All, Just wanted to give you another quick update. Richards parents have put their bungalow on the market with the aim of buying our house. We have decided that I will move out on 1st October and they will move in to take over Richards care. I am therefore going to my moms house (4 doors away) until I can get somewhere of my own. Generally things are going very well. Everyone is still speaking to each other and hopefully it will stay this way. Richard has gone downhill a bit over the last few months. His walking doesn;t appear as good but we have found out that he should have had a
  5. Thank you everyone. We met with Richards parents today and it went well. The options are: 1. Rich lives with them - they have spent 10 years converting their 2 bed bungalow into a one bed and have now said they will convert it all back again 2. They buy our house and live here with Richard 3. Richard lives here with a full time carer (but financially this isn't really possible) I am going to be walking away from this with nothing as I have said I want what is best for Richard. I will be staying here with him until arrangements have been made (3-4 weeks) and then moving in with my parent
  6. Thank you all for your comments. We have had a few chats and Richard realises that it is the safety of the kids I am fearful for and that he would need to stop smoking for this to be eliminated but he has also said he is not prepared to stop. He also said that he doesn't love me like he used to to and I guess this is the same for me as he is not the Richard I married. I have contacted the social worker and set up a meeting for next wednesday. His folks are coming down sunday morning when they get back but social worker isn't back in till weds so I have said that I am not going to discuss
  7. Hi all, Not posted on here for a while as life has been manic during the school holidays. Since Richard's SAH 16 months ago he has changed so much from the man he was. He now only ever has nasty things to say to me and I know most of you will know I was struggling to come to terms with this. Last week I completely lost it and made the decision to end our relationship. I am crying as I write this as half of my life has been spent with Rich and I love him with all my heart but he does things in the house that are dangerous and I no longer feel like I can trust his behaviour. I make him go
  8. Hello Everyone - me again. Not really much to say but don't want you all to think I have jumped ship. Richard is still progresssing steadily. The new carers are working really well with him and have had him out and about a bit more. He has been to a green gym which is a gardening club and he enjoyed this. He is now having counselling but so far this seems to be making him more depressed but perhaps he has to get worse before he gets better??????? He is off to City General in Stoke on 15th August for his next MRI scan so hopefully things are okay and the latest coil is still in place and
  9. Well its been yonks since I updated. Luke has had various checks for his deafness and they don't think he will be affected by it as he has very good hearing in his other ear and only some loss in the one. Xara managed to raise £400 in the end for Headway - such an amazing little girl. My job is now officially at risk so I will have to apply for it probably in August - fingers crossed. Now for Richard. Not much has changed to be honest. He is improving slowly - his walking is coming on a treat. He will walk to the local shop (couple hundred yeards away) with his carers. As of Monday thi
  10. Hi Tina, So pleased your sister is making amazing progress. I have just read through all the posts and your story is very similar to mine. Richard had is SAH in March 2010 and spent 10 days in ICU, 3 weeks on HDU, 8 weeks in our local hospital and then 6 months in a rehab hospital. He came home in January this year and is regaining the use in his left leg so that he can walk with a stick but he still has no use in his left arm. He also has some concetration/memory issues, etc. Isn't is a truly scary time - we went through the not expecting Richard to survive to now wondering if he will
  11. Hi Damian As I read your post I could have sworn it was written by my husband Richard. His stroke was March 2010 and he has been affected exactly the same as you except that he cannot even move the fingers on his left hand. Since leaving rehab in January I feel he has made no progress. He has no motivation so prefers to stay in bed which means he isn't exercising his leg which means his walking is not improving. We do exercises with his arm but this is not getting any better. He only has feeling when you squeeze his hand and fingers very hard. Richard is having a hard time accepting his
  12. Thanks for your ideas. We have tried the Wii - wasn;t interested. As for gardening, we have a huge garden which along with his work mate Rich has always grown vegetables. Stuart now has an allottment so has said he is not going to do ours this year. I have tried to get Rich interested but this also isn't happening. We have a greenhouse but the OT came and had a look and unfortunately Richard cannot get inside (there is a high step) and they also said as he is unsteady it could be dangerous with the glass. I have tried very hard to get him involved - I would have loved to grow stuff this
  13. Hi All, Just wondering whether anyone can give any suggestions as to a new hobby Richard can take up. Remember that he has no use in his left arm, very limited use in his left leg so cannot walk far and has concentration issues. Before this happened he had no hobbies - worked as a builder 6 days and then spent Sundays in the pub drinking with his mates. Any ideas would be gratefully received. Don't suggest computers or reading as we have already tried them without success. Thanks all, Zoe.
  14. Hi Damien, Welcome to the site - it is fantastic. My 39 year old husband Richard is just over a year into his recovery. His SAH has left him with the following: paralysed left arm paralysed left leg which he can now move and walk a short distance but is very weak bad short term memory issues severe lack of concentration severe depression The above doesn't seem like much when written down but the change to our lives is unbelievable. Richard spent 10 months in hospital so his relationship with the children has broken down and due to the effects he has been left with is struggling to r
  15. Richard attends Headway every Friday. He has been going since January and says he doesn't like it as it is full of people who are 'not all there' but fails to recognise that he is also one of these people. He pays £2 a week for drinks and toast. The day is split into three sessions with breaks between. Each session you choose an activity to do. Some of these are cooking, woodwork, gardening, crafts, painting, they have a wii and pool table, computers you can use, etc. I guess I tend to view it as an additional form of rehab for Richard. You have to remember that Richard has been quite s
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