sallym25

Hi Kate, I'm not sure if I've welcomed you to the site yet, If not, hello, and welcome. I just had to reply to this thread after the comment Bill made " bad things happen to good people". This made me realise that I've heard such comments so many times and I've thought to myself that people "just don't understand!!". I am now about to reach my 2 year anniversary, and for the first time I am feeling that possibly this is true! I've felt for a long time that "someone, somewhere has it in for me!".. I now think, I've been wrong with that and I've just had trouble accepting things. I wonder if SAH is something some of us have to go through in order to challenge our strength! I hope this is the case, as it would mean I am winning the battle and proving that,only the strongest are offered the "raw Deal" and we, on this site are all winning it. I would be willing to put my wages on that one! I would also bet, that we will be better people in the end when we finally get over all the shock and confusion! You are sooooooooooo early in your recovery and it will be a terrible shock for you to realise how long it will take to get back to your personal best again. But you will. Honestly, I have just discovered trhat slightly different often means slightly better! Take care and keep us updated with your progress. sally xx

Congratulations to you both on passing your first anniversary. Its definitely as Sami says, the hardest one. I am approaching my second one now (Sunday) and am much less concerned about reaching that milestone. I think, with the first, I was concerned it was a notification that I should be completely back to how I was beforehand, and having to admit I wasn't was a sign of failure. This year I feel totally different towards it. In fact, I've only just realised It's this week at all. I'm certainly not dreading it in the same way. I think it may pass without me remembering on the day at all. Keep looking forward and enjoy. Good luck. Sally. x

Welcome Kelly, I had my SAH a couple of months before yours and know how you feel when you say you feel flat and less caring about things sometimes. I'd like to say this shows I'm now more "laid back" about life in general, but I have noticed myself starting to feel the old desire to be more productive with my time and fill the day with some sort of activity or other. I can't make up my mind whether this is a good or bad thing! :confused: I was concerned for a while too that I have come as far as I'm going to, but still think occasionally that I'm seeing little improvements now and then. I'm hoping this will continue to the point where I believe I am fully recovered in the cognitive department. Good luck with your appointment at ENT, and I hope you will keep in touch to let us know how you are progressing. Take care, sally x

Hi again Theresa, I think I was right to assume that planned clippings on unruptured aneurysms are easier to recover from than hurried ops on burst ones. I saw a post from Jess tonight where she said she has had both a ruptured and an unruptured clipping. She said she was home from hospital in less than a week. I know I was in no fit state to be released at that stage. I hope she will come on soon and verify this. Sally xx

Hello Michael and welcome to BTG, How lucky you are to have no mental deficits whatsoever. I consider my lack of speed up there to be hardest to deal with in terms of acceptance. I hate to think I'm not the cleverclogs I was before! I've never heard of restless Leg Syndrome. How exactly does that work. Do you find you have to actually get out of bed and move around during the night? I definitely don't have that! I sleep like a log. This site is brilliant for all our concerns and worries. There is always someone who knows how we feel to come in with reassurance and support. Hope you continue to keep well and find something soon to relieve your RLS. Take care Sally x

Hello Ian, Welcome to the forum. I did have a clipping op, but it was after my aneurysm ruptured. I would hope that when these operations are planned, the immediate aftermath would be much less stressful than when they are done in an emergency situation. I have heard some say this is the case after their coiling procedures. There are members here who have had elective clipping too and I'm sure they will advise you of their experiences when they call on. I can't imagine how it must feel to have to choose whether or not to go for surgery. I hope all goes well for you and you come through this knowing you made the right choice. The site is wonderful for support and reassurance. Someone will always show up with answers to our queries. Good luck with your treatment, and I hope you will keep us updated with your progress. Take care Sally x

Hi Theresa, I didn't have much hair shaved off either. Really just my fringe. I didn't have any pain that I know of on the scar site, but I really cant remember the first week after the op. Hopefully as yours would be a planned procedure you will not have this problem. I think most of my problems were caused by the swelling from the bleed and not the actual op. I think you would benefit from talking more with the surgeons. The more you can find out about this the better. Thinking of you and wishing you well. Sally. xx PS.. I just remembered, Gill had a planned clipping. Am sure she will be on soon to advise. xx

Hi Donna, Yes, I have a real problem with this too. Iam really annoyed that I cant find the words to explain it to others. . How can I possibly explain something I dont understand myself? I have spent hours trying to analyse my feelings and have had no success with it at all. As you say, I also wonder if I am just making life more difficult for those closest to me. I think I may have just lost all interest in life in general. Can't be bothered to go out and socialise and yet, I get frustrated being stuck at home. I do go to work, but in reality I just go through the motions like a zombie and don't really take anything in. More of an existence than a life at the moment. I don't really know what I want any more. Hopefully someone will come onlater and explain it for us! Take care Sally xx

Yippee!! Jan, brilliant news! Congratulations on getting through it all so well! It's so good to hear some positive news. Keep up the good work and remember to rest lots. Take care now, speak soon. Sally xxxxx

Jan, Thinking of you today and looking forward to hearing from you soon. xx Best wishes to Theresa for tomorrow. Gina - let us know how all goes. xx

Hello Kate, Welcome to the forum. You sound very positive about your recovery in your post. Hope you will continue to be that way. I still have bouts of confusion now after two years and am struggling to accept it. Luckily I haven't had to have any angiograms so am unable to advise you there., But I know lots of the others have and will surely call in later with helpful advice. I do suffer bad anxiety though as I always feel I am being scrutinised. Perhaps this is just in my head, but I can't seem to shake it off. I'm also finding the emotional stuff the hardest to deal with, but I've always been a worrier so I guess it may be just because It's in my nature. You are still very early in your recovery journey and I think the 'enormity' of SAH does take time to dawn on us all. Take things very slowly and allow yourself the time to recuperate at your own pace. I hope you get the advice you need to make you feel less anxious about Wednesday. Come back and tell us all how you are progressing. Take care sally x

Hi Hazel, Welcome to the forum. I too got quite depressed a few months into recovery. I was shocked by it and knew I had to get help quickly. My doctor prescribed an anti depressant for me. I was quite concerned about having to be on such things, but they really worked wonders for me and I am now off them completely again. Gill has said it all really. Give yourself plenty of time to recover at a consistent rate. Doing too much too soon can be derogatory. This site is great when you need support and reassurance. Hope you will join us again and keep us updated with your progress. Take care, Sally x

Hello Pollyanna and welcome to BTG, It's great to hear you're still improving after 3 years. I am almost at the 2 year mark and regularly wonder if my own progress has reached it's end. Hopefully not! I don't have any physical deficits other than a loss of quarter of my visual field. I am slowly learning to live with that and only tonight realised I now expect not to see what's going on in that area. It was quite a comforting realisation. You will like it here, as there is always a good response to any questions we may ask. Welcome aboard. Sally x

Hello Bay, I joined my local gym around 7 months after my SAH. I was told by the lady there who deals with all the medical issues, Not to go on it. That was even before I was allowed to do their induction class. I must admit I dont fancy the idea of my head being shaken with such strong force even now 2 years on. I would definitely seek advice before trying again. sally. x

Hi Sandi, glad you brought this up today. I'm reaching my two year mark in June and had this whooshy thingy for the first few months. It was never a constant thing for me. Was always just around 2 seconds then gone again. After the initial couple of months it went away completely. However I have noticed occasionally in the last couple of weeks I have been getting it again. It's still a 2 second thing though. Weird! :confused:

Hello Damian, Welcome to THE best site ever for help and support with brain injuries. I too had problems with depression a few months post op. I know That this truly is a real condition which cannot be controlled by just "pulling yourself together" which I think I believed it to be before my SAH. I went to my doctor (against advice of family) I was given "fluoxetine" which helped me massively. (I'm no longer on this medication) As Karen has said, the emotional trauma seems to be harder to deal with than the physical stuff. Rest, rest, rest, it will help you with recovery. Prancing around and frisbee throwing might not be beneficial to you! "So much of my life is gone" you say, I know exactly what you mean by that. I thought about all the good characteristics I had and realised that I never appreciated how lucky I was to have them. I have, over time been pleased to discover I do still have lots of "good characteristics" some very very similar to those I had , and one or two maybe even better than 'then'. The biggest difference is, I do appreciate what I now have. I am sure this will come around in time for all of us. ( still like a wee whine now and then though). Time is what you need, you're still very early in your recovery process. Come on and talk to us anytime day or night. There is always someone with a shoulder handy. Hope to chat and catch up with you soon. Sorry no one was there for you in the chatbox earlier. Sally x

Hi Sandi, I will be really interested to read replies to this thread. You have described me to a T here. I am nearing two years post clipping and am still doing these things. I get so frustrated and find myself concentrating so hard on trying to make myself look confident and understanding that I upset myself when I realise I'm just not "getting it." I also feel that others think I'm not making enough effort to take all the information in. My neuropshycologist says I'm just putting myself under pressure and that this is because it's always been my nature to worry about things. (true.) She says that no one is trying to make me feel bad so I should stop doing it myself. I have to say though, I am now thnking she might be right. Thing is, thats the way I am and I'm not sure how to go about changing it. Hope you get some positive responses to this and I will keep myself updated in the hope of getting ideas on how to sort myself out too. love Sally x

Michelle, Great to hear the results were clear! You're so right about these secretaries getting on their high horses. I feel the same way you do about not being allowed to drive. They don't seem to realise that for us, the waiting is so frustrating and I don't think they even want to know how much of an upheaval it is to have to work around it. Please prepare yourself though, as I have found the DVLA to be even worse. I applied to have my licence back around a year ago now!! They sent me for several eye tests, ( I had to wait 5 months for one of those ) and have now said I'm to have an assessment in edinburgh. The wait for an appointment with them is 32 -44 weeks!!!!!! Meanwhile I am advised I am not to call them as it just "puts demands on the staff, which in turn, adds to waiting times". Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh. I wish I were the type who knew how to start some sort of campaign against this. But I'm only me. Hope you don't find yourself in this position too. Love Sally x

Hello again, Good news! I just got back from my neuropsychology appointment. I mentioned about these incidents and she assured me they were just concentration lapses. I have noticed I am always serving customers in the shop when they happen. I think she means I am trying to think about too many different things at once. Therefore I'm not paying attention at the right moment. Am glad to hear that they aren't neccessarily a symptom of epilepsy. Hope everyone elses is a triviality too. Sally xx

I think I have just been daydreaming and am surprised that people are looking at me, waiting for a response from me. Hi Michelle, Thank you for posting this thread. I find myself in this sort of situation often. I am really not good at putting things into words for the doctors so, find it difficult to get any advice about things. I had no idea this could be linked to epilepsy and just assumed it was due to tissue damage 'up there'. I was feeling a bit resigned to the fact , this is the way I will be for always. I am seeing my neuropsychologist tomorrow and plan to use your description of it to my own ends. I am interested to read replies to this query. Thanks for that. good luck on Wednesday. Please let us know how you get on. love sally xx ps, I will work out how to do this reply with quote thing properly one day! Doh!!

so, let me get this right then! MRI, With or without contrast:razz: MRA Ditto! Ditto! Angiogram with or withiout Ditto! CT Hhmm???? CTA OR CTI???? And now!!! DSA?????????????????????????????????????????????? Eeeeek!!! I give in!

Vicky, Don't know about you, but I find all the above way too confusing. I guess I'm not as clever as I like to believe. I personally would take my medical staffs advice. After all, they know more about it than I do. I had some kind of scan on my admission to hospital. I thought it was CT, but can't be sure. It done the job anyway, so I take it the doctors knew their stuff. Hope all goes well for you. Take care, Sally xx ps... I've decided now, not to even try fathoming out all that medical jargon. My wee brain has enough to cope with already.

Hi Gary, Thanks for your response on this one. If I had a penny every time I'd had to explain this one, I'd be a millionaire. The doctors had to explain it to me too. As my brother in law drives with only one eye, I did a bit of complaining when they took my licence away. It seems that a person with one eye can see more because each eyes own visual field overlaps the other. My blind side is the same side in both eyes and protrudes right to the centre spot therefore making driving more dangerous. I have been given the go ahead to do an assessment and although I am confident re the physical side, I know there is a possibility I will again fail the eyesight requirements. One fully working eye is accepted as sufficient. But when both are affected it makes it harder to meet the criteria. And so far I haven't reached it. I would go register, but not if it means I don't get to try their assessment. Thanks again. Sally xx

Thanks Sandi, I knew the NASAH bit, but didn't realise 'perimesencephalic' was such a general term. How does it differ from "angiogram negative" then? Sorry for my ignorance. I do wonder sometimes if my ignorance contributes to my lack of acceptance for my own situation. ( am not aware of having any angiograms, lumbar punctures, MRI's or MRA's. ) Can I help it?... I'm unique!

Hello everyone, My opthalmologist has now recommended I am regstered as "partially sighted". My instinct tells me "don't do it!" ( know I may be :confused: too focused on my drivers licence! (, I am, even almost 2 years later, aware that, anyone who has never driven will probably think I'm a bit deluded. ) I am stuggling to accept that, something which could have been done in half an hour, now takes two hours, thanks to our "brill" ( and it is) bus service. Is anyone in receipt of a bus pass? It would seem, this would be my biggest gain if I cave in and accept it! If so, could you please give me reason to believe I will benefit from it. :confused: