Katie_Todd

Hi guys, Sally, I spoke to my Dr about getting some form of help. To be honest I was confused with what I was supposed to be talking to the neuro psychologist about, so I ended up ranting about the problems I had in life before the bleed... I think he thought I was a bit bonkers, but put a word into my dr about me needing to see a therapist lol My issues haven't all resulted from the bleed but it deffinately made things a bit harder! If you speak to your Dr I'm sure they will be able to help in some way or another. I haven't had any CBT sessions yet... well actually thats a lie. I went to an appointment over a year ago and the woman told me that she couldn't help me. Now I've been referred again and have met the psychologist I will be working with, I think I will be able to get somewhere. He is a lot more understanding that the last person! Also, different psychologists use different techniques... I wouldn't be able to work with someone who just sits there and waits for me to say something, but thats how some of them are. If you do get CBT or any other form of therapy don't be afraid to ask for someone else if the way they do things doesn't work for you. And thank you to everyone who has said that it isn't my fault that I had the bleed. I do understand that, and I don't punish myself for it or blame myself for it happening, but I know that it wouldn't have happened at that age if it wasn't for the cocaine. It was a birth defect so would have happened some day, and like I said, I'm glad in some ways that it happened at the age of 22 as it probably made my recovery just that little bit easier. What I had was a 'very large bleed' (surgeons words, not mine lol) and I am extremely lucky to still be here, and for that I am very greatfull! The powers that be weren't completely with me on the day though... my ex rang the on call dr when I started clobbering myself round then head... then him when he tried to restrain me lol. It took them several hr's to get to our house (I don't know why though), she said I was having a panick attack and doped me up with diazepam and then went on her way, which just made the paralasys even worse! I was sooo tempted to sue her for a misdiagnosis... I think a blind man could have seen that something was seriously wrong! Then at about 5pm the next day an ambulance arrived to take me to hospital where I was given a CT scan and imediately diagnosed. My GP surgery messed up BIG TIME, my mum heard later that week that another lady had a bleed and was dead within 2 hrs. I count myself as VERY lucky!!! I don't know why I got onto talking about the night it happened :s lol I hope you are all having a good weekend! Katie x

Hi guys, wow your quick at replying! lol BPD stands for borderline personality dissorder and CBT stands for cognitive behavioural therapy. The CBT is a form of councilling/psychotherapy. Basically it just teaches you to look at things differently, a bit like re-programming the brain. So say before I found out that someone didn't like me for some unknown reason, I would find it very hard to deal with it. But after CBT you are supposed to be able to look at things as though 'hey, so what, if you don't want to get to know me then thats your problem'. I've been working on that myself for a long time and its so difficult to push past what was the 'norm' and to take a different outlook on things. You'll find that I'm a very open person. A lot of people say I'm too trusting but I don't see why I should feel the need to keep anything from anyone, I just don't want people thinking that I open up on a forum as a way of saying 'poor me', I'm not like that at all. As I'm sure you all agree, we may say something in our words that helps someone else out there. Whether they're suffering from an illness or a situation in life its always good to know you're not alone. I'm even thinking of writing a book one day about my '7 years bad luck', I swear I must have broken a mirror or something! lol All the best Katie x

I'm recieving CBT for some of my issues now, its taken the NHS several years to sort something out though, which is very dissapointing! But at least they have now got the ball rolling! They now want to look into me having a BPD, it would certainly explain a lot of things! I did see a neuro psychologist for a month or so after the bleed but as my cognitive abilities wheren't too badly affected he just said that things would come back in time. Which they are doing, its just the other things in life that are so difficult now... like getting out of bed! lol I'm not sure who mentioned it but the age that I had the bleed was young... but I am to blame for it happening so early in life. I'm ashamed to say that I became addicted to drugs soon after my brother commited suicide and the drugs are what caused it to happen so soon. In some ways I'm glad it happened when I was 22 because I could have ended up with more problems than I have. However that doesn't mean that I still think drugs are a good thing! Whenever I meet someone who is an addict I now tell them my story in the hope that it shocks them into getting clean lol Katie x

Thanks to everyone that has posted a reply, it means a geat deal to me that you all care and take the time to say something! Lynz, I had the bleed 3 years ago... which would have made me 22. It took me ages to get to grips with my age afterwards, for some reason I thought I was 23... luckily I hadn't actually aged a year over night lol I wish it was something thats easy to recover from, you wouldn't believe how much my life has changed because of it! oh no, wait... you probably do all understand! lol Do many of you suffer with depression, insomnia and/or ME as well? I think they are what is making my recovery more difficult but the dr's don't really know. Either that or they just don't care. All 3 of those things were part of me before the bleed but seem to have got worse since. Katie x

Hi Dougie, its sounds to me like it could be that you've had a TIA (mini stroke). There is no way for the dr's to test for them as the tests will always show up as normal. My mum suffered with them a while ago, she kept going dizzy and losing all feeling down one side of her body... it was only when it happened whilst she was in hospital that they were able to diagnose her. Be persistant with your dr as if it is TIA's that you're having, they can get worse and can sometimes lead to a fully blown stroke if not detected in time. I hope you find the help that you need! Katie x

Hi Angela, So pleased you had a fab holiday! God knows you bothe deserved it after what's happened! I'm really pleased for you both that Mark is doing so well, just make sure he does a phased return to work when he goes back and doesn't overdo things. I tried to go back to work after 6 months (I think, I can't remember all that well) and I'm still paying for it now. Katie x

Hi everyone! God am I glad I've found a support group to help me with whats happend! I've joined to gather information, read your stories, share mine (if you're interested ) and hopefully make some new online friends. I don't have anyone that I can speak to that actually understands what I'm talking about when it comes to the SAH, and as I don't have physical symptoms all the time people seem to think that everything is hunky dorey now... which it isn't! lol I have my parents that offer support (my mum is a godsend! I'm sure I drive her crazy with my constantly asking questions about what happened while I was in hospital that first week, but I still can't get used to the fact that I've lost a week of my life), my partner and a friend that tries her hardest to understand things. I'm sure you will be aware how frustrating it is to find that what people can't see... they forget about or choose to ignore. I suppose ignorance really is bliss sometimes! Anyway... I'm not really sure what else to say right now, but I'm sure I'll be a regular visitor to the site now that I know about it! I hope to speak with some of you soon! Katie x

Hey, I still get it unfortunately but I'm told it goes away in time... I just hope that the powers that be (the dr's lol) are right! Sorry to hear you've been so unwell, and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that your fit and healthy for when your holiday gets here! Katie x