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Everything posted by subzero

  1. Michelle also congratulations six years on. You certainly have packed a lot into the past year. Well done for taking the time to give support to Andrea and Jan. They will certainly have appreciated it. Now it's getting that comfortable new car ... Many thanks for sharing with us along the way and hope the caravaning weather is kind to you over the summer months. Subs
  2. Sarah, the thoughts of all Winnie`s BTG friends have been with you, Al and your family during the past month. Winnie made such a lasting impression on us all, and we felt a BTG celebration and tribute would be so appropriate for your mum. https://web.behindthegray.net/topic/8969-a-celebration-of-the-life-of-win-betts/
  3. Hello Matthew and welcome as a member of BTG. Also glad that you have been finding the site helpful in the years following your SAH. Our members will make every effort to support and encourage both you and your wife. Firstly well done almost four years on. SAH really does have a life changing impact on the whole family. Perhaps you could provide more information about your progress in the early months. We are here to listen and dont worry about how long it takes. For example how was your employment affected? With a very young family, does your wife stay at home or has she employment too? SAH recovery is quite unique and everyone has many issues to contend with. I am sure you will tell us where your challenges have been. From your comments, you highlight the frustrations which both you and your wife are experiencing. Please both understand that this is not uncommon Your wife wants you back to your former self, and so do you... but you know she doesn't understand what SAH has done to you and you are upset because she doesn't seem to understand. It would be very helpful if like you, she could join the site ...we have a Carers Forum and even reading all forums would help her appreciation of how difficult things are for you. It is important that you both try and talk this over in a constructive way. Ask her to share all her concerns about your progress...and then you too tell her how you really are. She needs to understand the reasons behind your fatigue and tiredness. Please keep asking and we will do our best to help you both better understand your recovery issues. Subs
  4. Hello and also a warm welcome to BTG. The after effects of SAH are varied and often complex depending on the nature and position of the bleed. When discharged survivors are often left with so many questions unanswered. This is in the main because every case is quite unique and only as time passes do you and your family become aware of how debilitating or otherwise your brain trauma has been. As Sami mentioned, there are members who are recovering with shunts, and shunts have been the subject of much discussion on this site. The following link will provide much information for you meantime. https://web.behindthegray.net/search/?&q=Shunt&search_and_or=or We look forward to hearing more from you when you can. Meantime I wish you well as you deal with your recovery. We are here to help and support you. Subs
  5. Hello Paola .... and a very warm welcome to BTG. You are right .... here you are in good company and you will find great help, support and reassurance as you read the recovery journeys of our members and discover their wllingness to help you with any questions you may have. You certainly were dealt a harsh blow nine months ago firstly with the SAH and then to suffer a debilitating stroke. You have done so well to regain what you feel is 85% of where you used to be. SAH recovery is still a lengthy process depending on the extent of the brain damage caused by the bleed. The majority of survivors discover that they are aflicted by headaches, tiredness and frustration. The latter being that you want to return to the 100% you were before, but in different ways, you know that life and emotions have changed considerably. Returning to work, and managing the usual housework is often a big challenge going forward. The anxiety of possibly having a rebleed is often felt by our members, however the facts borne out even by this forum members, is that it is very rare indeed. Hopefully over time this will become something that finds it`s way to the back of your mind. Often your immediate relatives are even more worried about a rebleed than you are yourself. I do hope you have family and friends who have supported you along the way so far. Please don`t hesitate to ask any questions of our members and we wish you well as you continue your SAH journey. Subs
  6. I had a note in my diary to get a poem ready for Winnie and Al's 50th anniversary on 29th August. Subs
  7. Sarah I am also devastated to read your news about Winnie's passing. Winnie was such a great 'online' friend to me personally since we met 5 years ago and as Karen says she is so well liked by everyone here on BTG with her own incredible sense of humour. Her encouraging words to everyone ..'Think happy thoughts and keep singing ' will never be forgotten, and her frank insights into her childhood years with her family as she grew up were lovely to read. Thoughts and sincere sympathies are with all your family especially you, Al and Tilly. Subs
  8. Hello Mark and also a warm welcome to BTG. So glad you found the site early. With so much information from personal experiences available you will benefit greatly as you 'recover'. You have already identified the key attitude to adopt. Rest well, accept that life has changed and slowly over the coming months adapt and respect your brain and body. Not an easy target for someone who has enjoyed living in 'the fast lane' When you do eventually consider back to work ... a phased return kept under constant review ... and patience to accept that it may well need many changes along the way. You are beginning one of the most important challenges of your life. Best wishes in how you tackle it. Also wishing your wife and family, and your business partner the patience and strength they will need as they adjust their lives too. Take care and keep well hydrated. Subs
  9. Jean thankyou for sharing and well done three years on. Also we appreciate your comments on BTG and so glad you have found the site to be supportive in your journey post SAH. Take care and great to know you are still enjoying your reduced work hours. Subs
  10. Hello Brenda and also a very warm welcome to BTG. I am sure that already you are benefitting from knowing that you are among friends who understand the struggles ahead for your husband, and who are able to share from their real experiences what you may be faced with over the coming months and years. The Carers Forum is exactly that. When your husband had his bleed in January two lives were never going to be exactly the same again. While your husband is struggling with the aftermath of damage to his brain in these early days he is physically exhausted and the trauma has affected his ability to control his limbs. His thought processes are all confused and he is not acting like `your loving husband` anymore. You are devastated by what has happened, yet relieved that he has not died. The mixed emotions are playing havoc with your normal thought processes too and these early days have been filled with worry, lack of sleep and little time to take care of your own nourishment. The medics have given you little guidance on how he will recover because at these early days and weeks they simply do not know the full extent of brain damage... some temporary and some more permanent. As the weeks lead into months you are encouraged by progress but always wondering when you will get back the husband that you had grown so close to over the years. And three months on you may even let yourself start thinking that life isn't going to be the same again .... and to some extent this will be the case ..... and this is different for all survivors...... Everyone`s struggle to adapt is different. Perhaps the most difficult challenge for you is when your dear husband shows irritation and frustration towards you when you are trying so hard to help him. Emotionally this is so very hard to deal with .... and as time goes on you may even find yourself beginning to react in a similar manner out of your own frustrations .... then you experience pangs of guilt about your own reaction and feelings. He is your husband. Brenda ... when the brain has experienced such trauma ... often the patient`s tolerance levels dramatically change. Instead of `biting his lip` when a situation may be upsetting him... now he just `lashes out` to varying degrees. This really is upsetting for you over time. As our members have advised in their comments .... any form of recovery requires patience .... and it is so important that you accept that there is no quick solution. He needs you so much as he faces the challenges ahead. However you too need to take care of yourself. Try and talk things over with your husband ... but also lean on your good friends and family. It is good for you to have a shoulder to lean on throughout this lengthy journey. So Brenda,take care and keep in touch with us in your journey together. As others have said ..... progress can be slow but time does make a difference. Subs
  11. Hello Gem .... also so so sorry to hear that your dad has passed away amid such immensely challenging times. Please accept my sincere condolences and I hope you and your family can find solace in the many good times you shared with dad over the years. Take care and keep strong. Subs PS. So glad that Win made that contact with you which made you aware that the BTG family were there for you since his SAH.
  12. Hello Stevie Many thanks for posting your comments on BTG. I do hope you are getting the support from family and friends to help you on the recovery road. Following SAH there is no 'one advice' that fits all. The nature of each bleed is different, as is the damage to the brain and the area suffering the trauma. This site has so much valuable information from members who have shared their fears, anxieties and struggles in the days, months and years following their bleed. You will find great encouragement from reading the various forums. Meantime the following link will provide some information on your specific query about 'flow diverters' . https://web.behindthegray.net/search/?&q=Flow diverter&search_and_or=or Please take time when you are able to share the circumstances surrounding your SAH by visiting the Introduce Yourself forum. Our members will endeavour to help answer any questions you ask. Wishing you well as you go forward and remember it has been a steep learning curve for survivors and carers alike. Subs
  13. Daffodil .... also a huge well done 8 years on. Your journey has been filled with so much that`s been a help for others. Amazing to learn over the years how you have faced the challenges of SAH, work, family life with two fast growing girls and so many emotions along the way. I too have enjoyed reading your blog ...... and found your responses on BTG most helpful in my role as a carer. Great to see that picture of you standing on the surf board having mastered your balance in a great way. A big moment for you personally. Best wishes for the 2020 challenges for you and your family. Subs
  14. Hello Kathy and also well done two years on. Great to hear how well you are dealing with your life post SAH. It must have been so difficult when your mother passed away while you were still in hospital and later your father and aunt. Yet as you say... family have been so supportive over the past two years. Leaving your demanding teaching job was no doubt a difficult but wise step, and I am sure the foster work you and husband continue to do must give you much satisfaction. Many thanks for sharing and we are glad that your new found friends in BTG have also helped along the way. 😊 Best wishes for the years ahead. Subs
  15. Hello Simone, and also a very warm welcome to BTG. Well done to your husband for finding our site and great to hear that you have found encouragement from reading the content of the various forums. I hope he too has found support from the site. Congratulations to you both on the exciting news about your pregnancy. I am sure the medics will give you the added support knowing your existing condition. You may already have checked out this site link. https://web.behindthegray.net/search/?q=PREGNANCY&quick=1 So glad you are taking a positive attitude towards your life post bleed. It is tough for everyone as they deal with the issues of coming to terms that life will be different and challenging. BTG will give you a tremendous insight into how our members have coped. Best wishes for the months ahead until the birth of your baby and we look forward to your own helpful comments about your journey. Subs
  16. Hello Mark ... so sorry you are sufferinging from severe tinnitus. This may be entirely coincidence, however Mrs Subs began using a hearing aid and and noticed a significant improvement. Hope you do get some relief soon. Subs
  17. Yes, you are right. When with friends, family and work colleagues it can be so frustrating. They wrongly assume that because in many cases there is no outward evidence of the brain trauma ..then you must be recovering ok. How far from reality this can be! Subs
  18. Hello and also a warm welcome to BTG. So glad you found the site and are already benefiting from reading the posts from our members. While we do not provide medical advice you will find great support by being part of the BTG community. Many thanks for sharing and 3 years on you will have as you mention, experienced the highs and lows of rebuilding your life. SAH and NASAH do not follow a set pattern in recovery. So much depends on how much damage was done to the brain by your bleed. Your own personal circumstances such as employment, family life and age will all play a part. Good physical health can help, but it is not unusual for even the most fit to be dogged with tiredness and fatigue, while others have been able to resume active life to varying degrees. Frequent or prolonged headaches and fatigue are common after effects and can be lessened by keeping well hydrated and learning how to listen to your body, and becoming aware of your limits. You say you have pushed yourself at times .... and while to be admired, you will find that trying too hard may well have a negative affect on your well being. Please continue to read the threads that relate to your circumstances, and don`t hesitate to continue to ask any questions. At BTG you are amongst friends and fellow survivors all of whom have their own individuals stories to tell. I am sure your husband and family will also benefit from reading the forums. They have no doubt already learned so much about this debilitating attack on your brain as they have tried to help you through these early years. Keep positive. There is always the possibility of further improvements after many years. Best wishes to you and your family. Subs
  19. Hello Fiona .... sorry to hear that you are struggling in an interview situation following your SAH. I sympathise with you as you put yourself in a situation where the pressure is on from yourself because you really want the job, and the very fact that for most people an interview is always an apprehensive time. It may well be that explaining about your SAH upfront in the interview might have reduced the pressure. In your application for the post did your health not come up in the employers application pro forma? As you know, your bleed has caused trauma to your brain and in recovery, your brain is attempting to reroute around the damage to get to the answers you want. (Our Mod Daffodil has often commented on the specifics of this and I do recommend you search on her posts. Her answers I am sure will resonate with your current reservations.) Also, would it have helped if you had done `role play` interviews with a friend prior to the interview proper? This might have helped you understand how your brain would react to constant questioning about your ability to do the job. I do hope you do not give up, and persevere .... many of our members are resolute in finding ways around SAH to get to where they want to be. Keep positive going forward. I wish you well Subs
  20. Hello Gem Also a warm welcome to BTG. So glad you have found the site and you will find support from reading the wealth of information contained within the various forums. Our members will also try and help with any questions you may have. Being faced with your dad having survived the massive trauma of SAH is certainly a daunting prospect. SAH is not a condition that is widely appreciated until it hits someone near to you. The medical specialists who have cared for your dad are correct in as far as they have stabilised the initial trauma, but the extent of brain damage only becomes apparent with time as these agonising days weeks and months progress. You are right in saying that it is so, so difficult to be so helpless as you watch for any signs of recovery. Never give up hope. You dad has survived and he will fight to recover. The body can be extremely resilient. Please be patient. I appreciate that your situation has the added aspect of your relationship with your dad being somewhat `strained`. Again this is not unique and there are other members of BTG who have been in similar circumstances with either parents or spouses. He does need your support at this time. He may not respond much but it is likely that he can hear you speak. It is important that you look after yourself during your dad`s recovery. The long term nature of SAH recovery requires care by those family members who want to be involved. I hope you can discuss the practcalities with the other family members. As you say, each survivor`s situation is different. I wish you and your family well as you come to terms with dad`s brain trauma. Subs
  21. Sarah ... well done two years post SAH. Great to hear that you are positive about your progress. With such a traumatic time back then it is good that you have felt BTG and it`s members have been such a support in your recovery journey. It is also encouraging when you realise that recovery is gradual as the brain continues to heal and adapt. Best wishes as you go forward into another year. Subs
  22. Hello Roberta and a warm welcome to BTG While we do not provide any medical advice, you will find so much support and useful information as you read the individual personal recovery stories within the forums. In particular many members have commented on the use of complementary therapies and if you key 'complementary therapies ' in the search option on the top right of the web page you will be able to browse and select information that you may feel is helpful to your studies. I am sure other members will also provide you with their experiences. Having been on the recovery road for so many years we would also welcome hearing more about your own highs and lows along the way. Take care and best wishes in your studies and research. Subs
  23. Hello and also a wasrm welcome to BTG. As Michelle mentions ... it is so early in your mom`s recovery and it is important that you don`t view her current condition as how she will be from here on. People and their bodies are very resilient and given days, weeks and yes in mom`s case .. months ... it is likely that you will begin to see signs of recovery. Removing her trach in itself will be a positive sign. Please take that long term view as you just give her support just now by simply being there for her and talking to her. Again as Michelle says . ... this event with your mom has been devastating for you and her immediate family. You feel so helpless and so eager to have her back home again. The doctors have told you straight .... at this stage they do not know how she will progress, but it is important that in realising that recovery is not something you will see overnight .... you can be less worried and more calm around her. Please make sure that you and other family members continue to eat and rest well as you adjust to what has happened to your mom. It can be so easy to neglect yourselves at a time like this. Talk to each other frequently about your concerns and about the practical difficulties that you have to take care of in the future. Also this site will give you much support and hope as you and your family read the many recovery journies of our members. The Carers Forum will also give you much needed support. Take care and please keep in touch with us. Subs
  24. Hi and also well done 5 years on. Great to hear how you are adapting your life around the SAH issues and being so positive. Wishing you a long and happy retirement. Subs.
  25. Louise, also CONGRATULATIONS twenty years on. Many thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts in greater detail. You have done so well in dealing with your SAH recovery and the highs and lows of your personal life. Losing close family can be so tough and as you say ...remembering about your mum and dad and your SAH within a few days of each other is so emotional. So glad you managed to find BTG and get the extra encouragement you deserved. As Sami says, you have always been willing to give helpful advice to other members and provide words of encouragement along the way. I remember in an earlier anniversary of yours I looked back over your posts on BTG and I am sure you will agree that what you have composed today shows how much you have improved. You have not given up when the going was tough. Being a fellow Scot ... Robert the Bruce and spider comes to mind ! 😊 It was so great to follow your plans and reservations about travelling abroad to attend the wedding last year .... another big milestone in your confidence building. I also take the opportunity to thank you for the interest you have show in Mrs Sub`s and myself over the years... we have both valued it. Take care and hope that Ronnie`s shifts are geared to a `little` celebration. Subs
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