Elizabeth
This is my first post but I am a surgeon also who recently had a bleed, the big difference is my practice was winding down and was already much lighter, I am late 50s. Your husband has to realize is that guy who he was pre bleed died that day he will never come back which is not to say healing won't occur, as a previous poster noted he had a life changing event. OK specific advice.
You and hubby have to decide if he is going to take disability and this depends I suspect on whether he has specialty specific coverage, heroic efforts on his part to get back to work can be used in the future by insurers to deny coverage. Need to be careful here.
Naps are a wonderful thing, I went back a little over a week after getting out of the hospital and it was way too soon. I have a couch I can lay down on and take a ten minute timeout and it really helps.
You say your husband's specialty is one in which he HAS to take call, I question the validity of that. This might be true in your city but the US has a significant physician shortage so older physicians are finding and creating low intensity niches in all sorts of specialties. Maybe one of these low intensity niches is what your husband needs. Financially perhaps it is better to consider a lower income maybe plus disability and your income in jobs that can be sustained until you are 70 vs him going back to work full time and burning out in a few years.
Stress, I am with you on this one but one thing you have to realize stress is a very, very difficult thing to study in medicine, it is very subjective and hard to measure. Then even if you know it is a problem what is the intervention?