Mandy Wright

Hi Lisa, I'm playing catchup here at the moment, so apologies for the late response. Great news regarding no new aneurysm - congratulations. I hope that work sorts itself out for you soon. One would hope that they could support you on a phased return so that you can build up the multitasking and concentration skills. At the end of the day though don't forget to count your blessings. You're still here! Take care and stay positive. Mx

Hi Mandie, I've gone through spells of worrying about my mortality but have moved past this in a number of ways. The first is to tie up what should happen if I'm not around. That includes writing a will and a letter of wishes. Making arrangements for the unthinkable, just so that I could put it out of my mind. I still have a couple of things to do on that front but I'm a great list maker, and writing things down and having a plan to deal with them is a big help for me, at least. The other thing is to recognise that I'm extremely lucky to have a second chance, and to do my best to embrace the new life, as far as I can. Oh, and for me, while it might seem heartless (it's definitely not meant to be!) I recognise that for me there are worse things than dying. I'm sure you'll get through this scary phase, and in the meantime, come to BTG and vent! Mx

Clare, my lovely, I can't say when the tiredness will end but I do know hat different things are more tiring than others. I feel like I can walk a lot, but I know that if I combine that with shopping it can wipe me out! Work is getting easier for me, thankfully, but at times communicating with others can make a day a lot more challenging. Meetings, conference calls, just catching up with people make my brain feel like it's grinding to a halt sometimes. I'm still okay talking to nearest and dearest, but sometimes after a longer session at work I want to ask to be left alone! We'll get there, wherever there is, but some things will take longer. We need to be kind to ourselves, and encourage others to be kind to us too. Just remember how far you have come since the SAH and measure progress from that point. Mx

Hi Mandie, and welcome to BTG! It sounds to me that you've already gone rough the worst part of the craniotomy, and that the surgery you need to go back for is to replace the bone flap, although I could be wrong. If I'm right though then it should be pretty straightforward with minimal after effects, apart from those usually associated with a general anaesthetic. They shouldn't need to furtle around with your brain this time! I bet it'll be great to get rid of the helmet! I'm sorry you've got the added stress of medical bills and pressure from parents, even though they mean well. Feel free to vent on here, keeping it clean, as I think most of us can relate to something of what you're going through. It's also useful to be able to look back and see how far you've come in your recovery. Warm wishes, Mandy

That's really encouraging, thank you so much Karen! Mx

Thanks Karen. It's amazing how we can know logically that we need to take things easier, and yet we still want to push a little harder sometimes, and then wonder why we feel the effects! Mx

Hi Sub, Thanks for your interest and apologies for not replying sooner! It's been a challenging couple of weeks with increased headaches, some visual disturbances and high blood pressure. But last week I worked four days for the first time since the SAH, with one day stretching to seven hours as I needed to finish something! It didn't kill me, although I have to say it was exhausting at times. Blood pressure is still a bit on the high side and am going to review current medication for this later in the week with the GP. I've also been put on some medication that should help to clear the problem with sciatica. It used to be used as an antidepressant in much higher doses but has been found to be effective on nerve pain. Unfortunately it can take a couple of weeks to take effect. I have an option to double the dose if required but would only do that in consultation with the GP. It's been an unsettling time with the headaches as, and others will understand this, ones first thoughts are that it could be another SAH! Darker thoughts about things I should be doing, in preparation for an imminent demise, come to the surface, usually as I'm trying to get to sleep! I had a review meeting with the OH advisor his week and she's happy that I'm making progress, albeit slower than we all might have hoped. She's not keen on the idea that I might feel pressurised by my employer to speed up the progress until I'm ready. She agreed that I need to have the sciatica under control, and the high blood pressure, before trying to accelerate the return to work. She was keen, as was I, to hear the results of the MRI scan as she felt it might reduce some of the anxiety I had been feeling. Yesterday I called Wessex Neuro about some of my issues and said that it would be useful to know the results if they were in. Apparently a letter is on its way to me! The lovely lady was able to let me know though that the results were all fine, no changes since the post-coiling MRI and they will do another MRI in a year! Whoop!! What a relief that was. I can now view headaches and fatigue as warnings that I might have pushed myself a bit further, rather than thinking I might be about to die! Okay, so sometimes the optimism may slip a little, but I'm starting from a better place now. So, later this week I have physio with accupuncture, then BP review, and then optician - that's all my boxes ticked ready to go to my ex-mother -in-law's 100th birthday lunch on Saturday! I'll be taking it easy apart from that as I overdid it slightly gardening last weekend and th muscles in my bottom and neck still ache from that. Take care Sub, and anyone else who reads this. Mx

Congratulations Michelle! What a lovely post. Mx

Hi Clare, I've found I need to be cautious about doing much the day before work, and on the day after! Next week will be my first week of doing four days, M,T,T,F although probably with some of this from home. Waiting for a call from my GP about an appointment today as have sciatic pain for 8 weeks and utterly bored with it now. Must update my thread if I can find the spoons to do it with. Take care, and rest! Mx

Hi Clare, Ouch, not a good start to your second day back at work. I hope you managed to get some extra sleep before the shift started, and that the headache eased. I hope all goes well for you this week. Two days is a great achievement! Mx

Hi Lisa, and welcome to BTG. I'm sure you'll have read lots on here about the after effects of a SAH. Try to remember to be kind to yourself. See if you can keep a diary, either on here or privately, and I'm sure it won't be long before you can look back at it and see how much progress you have made. Yes, there are ups and downs on your road to recovery, and you may not be quite as you were before your haemorrhage but you need to measure against your new normal, think back to the early days after the SAH and see how far you have come! Don't rush the return to work as it will only backfire on you and your employers. See if you can be referred to an occupational health specialist through work as it can help to have someone on your side. This applies to protect you from yourself as much as from the hopes of your employer! Hopefully the NHS will be accommodating and helpful. Baby steps are best, even though I think we can all relate to our reluctance to be treated like a child. Mx

I hope today went well for you Clare. Rest up and enjoy the weekend. Mx

Thanks Macca, your sage advice is always useful. Typically, I meant to have included the fact that the sciatica really scuppered any plans of increasing hours at work, and the original plan didn't include reference to this as I didn't have it before I returned to work. Fortunately that has eased off although not gone completely. The OH advisor amended the original planned phased return a few weeks ago so that it didn't include the original relentless increases in hours at work, week after week, but was a series of steps, to be moved through as I felt able. I hadn't realised there were deadlines for the steps to be achieved. I will make notes, and this diary will also be helpful. Glass half full indeed. Mx

Thanks everyone. I saw the doc this evening and now have a prescription for an ACE inhibitor, Ramipril, that should bring my BP down. It was 170/101 when the GP took it so it's definitely on the high side! Apparently the medication can cause headaches and dizziness, which is a shame as that the symptoms I'm having problems with! I've ordered a BP monitor so I can keep an eye on things - it'll help keep the other half calm, hopefully. Will go back to the surgery to get my BP checked and blood tests for kidney function in two weeks as this medication can have side effects on kidneys. I'll take the first tablet tonight as apparently it can cause some issues initially and it's better to take it before bed rather than in the morning, initially, at least. Regarding the OH report, I do indeed have a copy of it, and it states that if I don't make improvements on my working hours, then I may need to see the OH doctor. It seemed less of a threat in the report, and more of a last resort. I am not a member of a union although there is one active at my workplace. I will keep notes and very much appreciate the words of advice. It does seem that the verbal conversation said more, or at least the context of it is different. It's possible that the HR manager, who I would call a friend, may have just been a little thoughtless in her wording and timing, I hope so. Thank you! Mx

What is it about life that, as soon as you start to feel a little bit smug, you get a reminder that all is not as it could be? On Friday I was at work and not long before I finished, my HR manager asked to have a talk about the most recent OH report she'd received. Basically the OH lady had verbally expressed concerns about some confusion she felt I was exhibiting and they've said that I may need to see the OH doc who may be considering whether I will ever be able to do my job fully in the future. That came as a bit of a blow as I felt like I was doing pretty well. There are also concerns about the fact that I'm not closer to working full time again. We agreed to review next steps after I'm back at work for a week after my week off. Last week I did three days of five hours, with one of the days at home. I've said I'll do three days of 6 hours when I go back. Potentially then I may shorten the days a bit but do four days the week after. I'm keen on making progress as the six month limit on sick pay comes up next month, but I really wish I hadn't had this dropped on me before my break. I don't know if it was related but when I went to bed on Friday evening I realised I had a bit of dizziness going on. It was still there on Saturday morning but seemed to develop into a bit of a headache. I almost didn't go to the Wessex Neuro Support meeting. I did go though and was glad to meet the lovely SarahLou (who did a very eloquent talk about her experiences) and Gill. The headache and dizziness have persisted all weekend and I went for a blood pressure check this morning. Last week it was 146/92 and this morning it was 156/93. The nurse said I should see a doctor about it today and I've got an appointment this afternoon. I'm now a bit frustrated, a bit concerned, and doing my best to reassure my other half, while trying to suppress my own anxiety. At least here I can verbalise it all! Thanks for listening guys. Mx