Mandy Wright

Hi Lisa, I'm playing catchup here at the moment, so apologies for the late response. Great news regarding no new aneurysm - congratulations. I hope that work sorts itself out for you soon. One would hope that they could support you on a phased return so that you can build up the multitasking and concentration skills. At the end of the day though don't forget to count your blessings. You're still here! Take care and stay positive. Mx

Hi Mandie, I've gone through spells of worrying about my mortality but have moved past this in a number of ways. The first is to tie up what should happen if I'm not around. That includes writing a will and a letter of wishes. Making arrangements for the unthinkable, just so that I could put it out of my mind. I still have a couple of things to do on that front but I'm a great list maker, and writing things down and having a plan to deal with them is a big help for me, at least. The other thing is to recognise that I'm extremely lucky to have a second chance, and to do my best to embrace the new life, as far as I can. Oh, and for me, while it might seem heartless (it's definitely not meant to be!) I recognise that for me there are worse things than dying. I'm sure you'll get through this scary phase, and in the meantime, come to BTG and vent! Mx

Clare, my lovely, I can't say when the tiredness will end but I do know hat different things are more tiring than others. I feel like I can walk a lot, but I know that if I combine that with shopping it can wipe me out! Work is getting easier for me, thankfully, but at times communicating with others can make a day a lot more challenging. Meetings, conference calls, just catching up with people make my brain feel like it's grinding to a halt sometimes. I'm still okay talking to nearest and dearest, but sometimes after a longer session at work I want to ask to be left alone! We'll get there, wherever there is, but some things will take longer. We need to be kind to ourselves, and encourage others to be kind to us too. Just remember how far you have come since the SAH and measure progress from that point. Mx

Hi Mandie, and welcome to BTG! It sounds to me that you've already gone rough the worst part of the craniotomy, and that the surgery you need to go back for is to replace the bone flap, although I could be wrong. If I'm right though then it should be pretty straightforward with minimal after effects, apart from those usually associated with a general anaesthetic. They shouldn't need to furtle around with your brain this time! I bet it'll be great to get rid of the helmet! I'm sorry you've got the added stress of medical bills and pressure from parents, even though they mean well. Feel free to vent on here, keeping it clean, as I think most of us can relate to something of what you're going through. It's also useful to be able to look back and see how far you've come in your recovery. Warm wishes, Mandy

That's really encouraging, thank you so much Karen! Mx

Thanks Karen. It's amazing how we can know logically that we need to take things easier, and yet we still want to push a little harder sometimes, and then wonder why we feel the effects! Mx

Hi Sub, Thanks for your interest and apologies for not replying sooner! It's been a challenging couple of weeks with increased headaches, some visual disturbances and high blood pressure. But last week I worked four days for the first time since the SAH, with one day stretching to seven hours as I needed to finish something! It didn't kill me, although I have to say it was exhausting at times. Blood pressure is still a bit on the high side and am going to review current medication for this later in the week with the GP. I've also been put on some medication that should help to clear the problem with sciatica. It used to be used as an antidepressant in much higher doses but has been found to be effective on nerve pain. Unfortunately it can take a couple of weeks to take effect. I have an option to double the dose if required but would only do that in consultation with the GP. It's been an unsettling time with the headaches as, and others will understand this, ones first thoughts are that it could be another SAH! Darker thoughts about things I should be doing, in preparation for an imminent demise, come to the surface, usually as I'm trying to get to sleep! I had a review meeting with the OH advisor his week and she's happy that I'm making progress, albeit slower than we all might have hoped. She's not keen on the idea that I might feel pressurised by my employer to speed up the progress until I'm ready. She agreed that I need to have the sciatica under control, and the high blood pressure, before trying to accelerate the return to work. She was keen, as was I, to hear the results of the MRI scan as she felt it might reduce some of the anxiety I had been feeling. Yesterday I called Wessex Neuro about some of my issues and said that it would be useful to know the results if they were in. Apparently a letter is on its way to me! The lovely lady was able to let me know though that the results were all fine, no changes since the post-coiling MRI and they will do another MRI in a year! Whoop!! What a relief that was. I can now view headaches and fatigue as warnings that I might have pushed myself a bit further, rather than thinking I might be about to die! Okay, so sometimes the optimism may slip a little, but I'm starting from a better place now. So, later this week I have physio with accupuncture, then BP review, and then optician - that's all my boxes ticked ready to go to my ex-mother -in-law's 100th birthday lunch on Saturday! I'll be taking it easy apart from that as I overdid it slightly gardening last weekend and th muscles in my bottom and neck still ache from that. Take care Sub, and anyone else who reads this. Mx

Congratulations Michelle! What a lovely post. Mx

Hi Clare, I've found I need to be cautious about doing much the day before work, and on the day after! Next week will be my first week of doing four days, M,T,T,F although probably with some of this from home. Waiting for a call from my GP about an appointment today as have sciatic pain for 8 weeks and utterly bored with it now. Must update my thread if I can find the spoons to do it with. Take care, and rest! Mx

Hi Clare, Ouch, not a good start to your second day back at work. I hope you managed to get some extra sleep before the shift started, and that the headache eased. I hope all goes well for you this week. Two days is a great achievement! Mx

Hi Lisa, and welcome to BTG. I'm sure you'll have read lots on here about the after effects of a SAH. Try to remember to be kind to yourself. See if you can keep a diary, either on here or privately, and I'm sure it won't be long before you can look back at it and see how much progress you have made. Yes, there are ups and downs on your road to recovery, and you may not be quite as you were before your haemorrhage but you need to measure against your new normal, think back to the early days after the SAH and see how far you have come! Don't rush the return to work as it will only backfire on you and your employers. See if you can be referred to an occupational health specialist through work as it can help to have someone on your side. This applies to protect you from yourself as much as from the hopes of your employer! Hopefully the NHS will be accommodating and helpful. Baby steps are best, even though I think we can all relate to our reluctance to be treated like a child. Mx

I hope today went well for you Clare. Rest up and enjoy the weekend. Mx

Thanks Macca, your sage advice is always useful. Typically, I meant to have included the fact that the sciatica really scuppered any plans of increasing hours at work, and the original plan didn't include reference to this as I didn't have it before I returned to work. Fortunately that has eased off although not gone completely. The OH advisor amended the original planned phased return a few weeks ago so that it didn't include the original relentless increases in hours at work, week after week, but was a series of steps, to be moved through as I felt able. I hadn't realised there were deadlines for the steps to be achieved. I will make notes, and this diary will also be helpful. Glass half full indeed. Mx

Thanks everyone. I saw the doc this evening and now have a prescription for an ACE inhibitor, Ramipril, that should bring my BP down. It was 170/101 when the GP took it so it's definitely on the high side! Apparently the medication can cause headaches and dizziness, which is a shame as that the symptoms I'm having problems with! I've ordered a BP monitor so I can keep an eye on things - it'll help keep the other half calm, hopefully. Will go back to the surgery to get my BP checked and blood tests for kidney function in two weeks as this medication can have side effects on kidneys. I'll take the first tablet tonight as apparently it can cause some issues initially and it's better to take it before bed rather than in the morning, initially, at least. Regarding the OH report, I do indeed have a copy of it, and it states that if I don't make improvements on my working hours, then I may need to see the OH doctor. It seemed less of a threat in the report, and more of a last resort. I am not a member of a union although there is one active at my workplace. I will keep notes and very much appreciate the words of advice. It does seem that the verbal conversation said more, or at least the context of it is different. It's possible that the HR manager, who I would call a friend, may have just been a little thoughtless in her wording and timing, I hope so. Thank you! Mx

What is it about life that, as soon as you start to feel a little bit smug, you get a reminder that all is not as it could be? On Friday I was at work and not long before I finished, my HR manager asked to have a talk about the most recent OH report she'd received. Basically the OH lady had verbally expressed concerns about some confusion she felt I was exhibiting and they've said that I may need to see the OH doc who may be considering whether I will ever be able to do my job fully in the future. That came as a bit of a blow as I felt like I was doing pretty well. There are also concerns about the fact that I'm not closer to working full time again. We agreed to review next steps after I'm back at work for a week after my week off. Last week I did three days of five hours, with one of the days at home. I've said I'll do three days of 6 hours when I go back. Potentially then I may shorten the days a bit but do four days the week after. I'm keen on making progress as the six month limit on sick pay comes up next month, but I really wish I hadn't had this dropped on me before my break. I don't know if it was related but when I went to bed on Friday evening I realised I had a bit of dizziness going on. It was still there on Saturday morning but seemed to develop into a bit of a headache. I almost didn't go to the Wessex Neuro Support meeting. I did go though and was glad to meet the lovely SarahLou (who did a very eloquent talk about her experiences) and Gill. The headache and dizziness have persisted all weekend and I went for a blood pressure check this morning. Last week it was 146/92 and this morning it was 156/93. The nurse said I should see a doctor about it today and I've got an appointment this afternoon. I'm now a bit frustrated, a bit concerned, and doing my best to reassure my other half, while trying to suppress my own anxiety. At least here I can verbalise it all! Thanks for listening guys. Mx

Congratulations Louise, I'm so happy that you've finally got a resolution! Mx

Welcome aboard Gary. Mandy

Hi Subs, It's funny, because although I now have a bit of a concern about increase in blood pressure, I'm actually feeling quite a bit better this week. I went to bed on Sunday evening and for the first time thought there had been an improvement in the sciatica. Usually by bed time I've been barely able to move without making all sorts of noises. Perhaps because that symptom is easing I've been feeling more like moving more, which means I achieve more, and generally eases the other aches and pains? And today was a milestone. For the first time in about five months I've had a shower!!! I've stuck to baths until now, initially because of the eyesight, balance and stamina issues, and then because of the back pain and perhaps a little worry about occasional dizziness. It as okay! Yippee!! I know I need to be careful not to overdo things but I'm keen to get on with some decluttering of the house. This will make life easier and helps clear my brain for the important stuff. Oh, and I think a bit of me is excited to have next week off work, on holiday instead of sickness. It'll be good not to have to think about my part time work schedule. We're not going away, I'm just going to be at home. The other half will take a day off on my birthday and we'll do something nice - maybe visit a garden if the weather is better than today! Mx

Hi Debbie, thanks for the update. It's good to hear that you're doing well! Mandy x

SarahLou, you are so generous with your support of people on BTG - thank you so much for your time and efforts! I had to go for a fasting blood sugar test this morning and the nurse who took the sample commented on how well I looked. I laughed and explained about the SAH and said how lucky I had been. Bless her, she lost her dad aged 38 to a SAH. My blood pressure was up so she's put a note for the GP to highlight this. I'll get blood test results in 2-4 weeks - I suspect blood sugar side of things will not be as good as it should be as I've really taken my eye off the type 2 diabetes over the last 5 months. Take care of yourself SarahLou. Mx

Phew home after what turned out to be an MRI and not an MRA. Found the hospital quite easily and, having allowed plenty of extra time just in case, got there almost an hour early. We checked in and they were delighted - apparently everyone had been early today. Filled in the questionnaire on health and metal bits and then I was off. No offer of music at all and frankly the ear plugs did little to muffle the terrific din. It was quite different to the MRI I had on my pelvic area last year, I guess because my ears were closer to the noise. It took about 10 minutes and we were all done before my original appointment time which was great. A bit headachy now but glad it's done. Now it's just a case of waiting for the result!

Thanks ladies! I'm not really anxious about the procedure, but I'll be looking forward to the results with fingers crossed. I managed a six hour shift at work today, when a project didn't quite go to plan. Day off tomorrow, yippee! Hoping to make the Wessex Support meeting on Saturday. Mx

Hi Clare, I hope you have a brilliant break in the sunshine! I'm sure the trip will be fine though I don't envy you having to get up early for it. Thanks for the tip on the music - when I've had an MRI in the past I didn't get offered the luxury of music, and it was done privately too. Catch up when you get back. Mandy xx

Ah yes, I almost forgot. Just as my beloved came to collect (rescue) me from taking tea money at the village hall a lady came up to ask if there were any more spoons! We both chuckled.

Evening Sub, and thanks for your interest. This week I ended up working in the office on Tues and Fri, and worked from home on Thursday. I'm doing slightly longer shifts at five hours and this seems okay so far. I'm making headway on a big project which is good for me and for my team. It's been on the back burner for months since I had my SAH and it's good to get things moving again. Working two days on the trot, even with one of them at home, aggravated my back pain which is a nuisance but couldn't really be helped with the bank holiday messing up my usual Monday, Wednesday and Friday routine, hopefully next week will be better. I had a reminder today that I'm nowhere near the person or at least the brain I was before the SAH. The village has an annual scarecrow day which is great fun and I've been involved where I can be. My neighbour asked if I was up to helping out a bit again this year and I said yes, so long as I could sit down. I got to take the money for tea and cakes for the first hour. Boy that was hard work! I'd taken pen and paper to help me with the adding up and although I managed without any disasters there were a couple of near misses, complicated by another lady reeling me wrong prices and generally adding to the confusion at times. I was completely done after an hour. We had cheated a bit and resurrected last year's scarecrow to reduce the spoons required for the weekend, I managed a short walk to see some exceptionally loveable alpacas and a sprinkling of the other scarecrows around the village before stumbling home with the other half for a quiet spell on the sofa. It was a good day though, in spite of the reminder to myself to plan my days better, and the sun came out which really lifts the mood. The celery seeds don't seem to have made much difference to the back pain yet but I will persevere until I've finished the bottle. MRA scan on Tuesday which will be good to get out of the way. Would like to confirm that nothing nasty is happening in my head and that all is well there. Hope everyone is having a restful weekend. Mx