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Everything posted by Sharlua

  1. Welcome Dotty and sorry to hear about your Dad, it must be very scary for all the family particularly as he is relatively young. I had anuerysm which was coiled and much lighter bleed. As Daffodil has so wonderfully explained there are bleeds where they are often not sure of origin so treatment often cannot take place. Even when they are anuerysms it is dependent on where it is on whether it can be coiled or clipped. I am sure if at this stage it was an option they would do. With relation to confusion if you think of your brain having pathways to pass messages, recall memories, process information and help everything function a bleed can play havoc with those pathways so what comes out is often mixed up, hopefully as they recover or the brain compensate by finding new routes there will be less confusion. I am sure having your support will aid that recovery, it maybe slow and result in changes but I am sure each day will bring some element of healing. There maybe hiccups on this journey, there definitely was in mine as you do have an emotional rollercoaster with good and bad days. Make sure you also take care as it is a hard journey for families too. Wishing your dad all the best. Take care Sharon x
  2. Oh so pleased that everything has gone well, you must be so relieved. I hope BP stays stable and he recovers well. Hope you manage to relax a little as must have been very stressful for you and rest of family. Take care xx
  3. Welcome Clara, hope you do seek advice as others have suggested. I had lots of terrible aches after my SAH and coiling, my legs and feet were really bad. I also had shoulder pain which was found to be unrelated and was a frozen shoulder which later developed tendonitis. I had real bad heads and some awful crawling sensations in head, It is extremely early days for you and after this shock you are naturally worried, this does take away your belief in being invincible. You may have to let others be strong for awhile I certainly had to do this for a while. Please never think you are a nuisance to your medical staff better be safe than worry needlessly. i wish you well in your recovery keep us updated and members here are a great support. Sharon
  4. Will certainly keep fingers crossed that all goes well x
  5. Hi Jan I went straight into menopause at 44 after hysterectomy as they thought I had cancer. I was shocked by the symptoms that followed and the depression was awful, hormones definitely do impact on your emotions and mood, I was bad tempered, tearful and hysterical all within an hour some days - husband was very patient?. I was given HRT it worked initially but only stayed on for a year. I hope your appointments help you get the right support, it is very easy to blame our heads for everything but I guess we are not immune to other ailments. Good luck x
  6. Well done for making it through that first year you have achieved so much. I hope fatigue does gradually get better and I know sometimes over two years later I have a sudden pain in head and freeze thinking is another SAH. I don't think it will ever leave I just manage it better. I wish you much luck for the future Sharon xx
  7. Welcome Wayne and pleased to see you have found us. Very early days in your recovery and as a SAH is such a shock it does bring about some rollercoaster emotions and physical impacts. I had a SAH over two years ago, luckily mine was coiled but it took a good six months to feel slight recovery and probably this year to feel more like my old self. I had time where I felt I hit a brick wall my memory in early days was terrible, still not 100% but I now don't get so embarrassed by it. A illness like this does impact on family and sorry that has led to family taking advantage, hopefully as you recover more you will gain strength to challenge this. I do hope you have some support as it is vital, this group will be happy to share experiences and provide a listening ear, sometimes it is hard for others to understand the trauma of a brain injury. i wish you well in your recovery and link forward to hearing more from you. Alaska is definitely on my bucket list to visit but not I guess so close for medical emergencies. Take care Sharon
  8. So sorry to hear how you are feeling Jan some excellent advice from others. I do agree perhaps go back to GP or seek some counselling/therapeutic support independently. You are not unlike any of us who have hit brick walls at different times and where families fail to understand, often this comes out in anger and arguments. Remember dealing with loss is a journey where you go through many emotions often swaying between them all, SAH has seen such losses for you particularly having to give up your business and also loss of some physical abilities. Families and friends often don't pick up signals we are struggling or need their support perhaps you could try writing them a letter to help them understand if you cannot face a meeting. Mine were great at the time of event but after leaving hospital found it difficult to understand my recovery was only just beginning. After counselling I also understood I often gave them very mixed messages and wanted something they could not give, to take away my feelings of depression, sadness and anger. unconsciously I was blaming stress of taking on a caring role for mum, giving up a home I loved and pressure at work. None of these probably contributed to my SAH, I think I was also jealous about life just continuing as normal for them - that green demon does play with your mind. Just remember you have so much more to give, achieve and that things will improve slowly. Perhaps see a life coach to help you look at your strengths, and to explore opportunities you have not looked at. From your posts you have great empathy, sense of humour and good people skills all valuable assets. I am not sure if you have any close friends who can also help, of course we also here to support. I know you will survive this blip, you have survived so much worse. Sharon x
  9. Sorry I missed this but hope the day went well and you celebrated your SAH survival. Life is hard when you have parents or relatives that need care, guilt never leaves you and there is often a conflict between what is best for you and the person you care for. I often have this caring for my mum but need escape to recharge and carry on. My mum is not too bad but little by little I see her diminish. There will not be a right or wrong in what you decide but go with what feels right to you and your health xX
  10. Sorry to hear you're feeling low Jan I believe no medic really knows the depth of the brain and the recovery it can make so never give up hope that things will improve. Counselling helped me as I have said before, they helped me express my anger, reframe and just having someone external who is not emotionally involved was really useful. You have come a long way and you are bound to grieve for the old life you would not be normal. I am sure you will progress or gain more acceptance of the new you. Sharon x
  11. Hi Crispy Welcome to site, pleased you have found us. After my SAH I became very depressed I too did seek support and counselling helped. I am fine now but it took a while, it is early days and having your mobility issues must add to this. I too tried a holiday just after SAH and again found it too exhausting and too soon. I think that having a SAH is a tremendous shock to the system and naturally it has some impact on your emotions you are doing the right thing speaking to GP, hopefully you will also get lots of support from this site. regards Sharon xx
  12. Welcome Jenni, sorry to hear about your husband it must be very hard for partners. Good advice from all the others but I know Financial worries are hard at this time, as others have said check out sick pay entitlement, if you have a mortgage check to see if you could either pay interest only, or take a payment break or claim housing benefit if renting. Don't hesitate to seek advice as earlier you get this can ease your stress at this difficult time, not sure if hubby in Union as they can often offer advice too. It took me 5 months before I was able to return to work but I did not have a drain/shunt and then like Sarah had phased return, luckily I had good sick pay conditions. I am hoping you will find a new job soon, although that may not be on the cards until you are sure about hubby's recovery. Hoping hubby continues to progress Sharon
  13. Warm welcome Kerryn, pleased that the site has helped it certainly helped me in those early days. I similarly had an aneurysm successfully coiled, although continue to be monitored due to size and location of the aneurysm. Headaches were awful in my early recovery and I did wonder if I would always have them, thankfully they are not as frequent now. It is very early days and I know it must have been a very worrying period for you and your family. I remember the night before my coiling and the anxiety of whether it would work, I also worried about not being able to work. I still have messages I wrote to my family on my phone just in case! I hope you continue to make a good recovery but as advised by some excellent posts listen to your body, pace yourself and expect some good and bad days as a bit of a roller coaster. Take care Sharon
  14. Welcome to the Forum Steve, I am pleased you are feeling better. I was treated in the RVI and also received excellent support. Those first weeks are difficult I remember them well although I was lucky my bleed was slight and I did not need a drain. I had anuerysm which was coiled still being monitored due to size and location. It is a slow journey with good days and bad, more good days now 2 years later so take it slow and listen to your body. A traumatic brain bleed is scary and physical and mental after effects are not always visible so be kind to yourself. I wish you lots of luck in your recovery and look forward to hearing how you get on. Regards Sharon
  15. Welcome Gemma sorry to hear about mum but pleased she is making a good recovery. Whilst I cannot advise on whether she is safe to fly and take the heat, only a Doctor could provide that advice, I can tell you of my experience. I had a SAH in Jan 2015, due to a bleed from an aneurysm - fortunately mine was coiled and I did not have any after effects like mum from her clipping. I had a holiday booked for the March with my family with son coming over from America to fly with us to Lisbon, I was very nervous about it as was still very fatigued and at that time suffering real bad heads and suffering leg pains. Consultant said I was safe to fly and relaxing may help me as was quite depressed. I did go, it was for me a bit early and I found it quite tiring, I could not keep up the pace with my family, who tried very hard but I think could not understand my fatigue or inability to cope with even low level activity. Lisbon was hilly so I don't think that helped and was very busy, as well as beautiful. I think it will depend on how your mum feels and if doctors agree it's safe, you may need to be led by her. If she does decide to go I would advise building in total relaxation days and taking things at a slower pace. I do wish her well and I know for families who have had to watch someone go through this they also need time to recover as it is psychologically very stressful and frightening, so I do hope you take care too. Look forward to hearing how mum gets on and hope you have the lovely wedding you have planned Sharon x
  16. A warm welcome to the Forum and I am sure it will provide some support to you both. Sounds like a really difficult period for you both, but really impressed with the strength you have both shown. I know this will be an emotional period adjusting to the complications left from the SAH but already what may seem like small steps are great strides after such a bleed. I could not sleep well for months after my SAH, I found I had to just accept short naps - not always possible I appreciate. It is good that you are taking each day as it comes, that is the best approach and the brain is a fantastic thing which finds so many ways to repair or find different pathways. As others have said you need to also look after yourself as I was pretty hard work for my family post SAH, happy one minute, tearful or angry the next. They definitely needed an outlet; you had to go through this too, watching and waiting so please seek all the support you need. I hope things do improve but sometimes just accepting the changes or new life created by the SAH is part of this improvement. Take Care Sharon x
  17. Welcome Phil some excellent responses from others, mine was a bleed from anuerysm luckily not a large bleed but did have a large anuerysm so was extremely lucky it did not kill me and was able to be coiled successfully. Just had recent MRI and still occluded bar a tiny neck but going just to continue to monitor. Consultant told me I am no more likely to suffer another SAH than anyone else, but probably in better position as being monitored. Like Others have mentioned everyone's recovery is different however there are many things that we share fatigue, emotional see-saw, memory issues and sometimes concentration. I work in high stress field too and I returned just short of six months. I struggled with my memory like your's mine was variable, worse under pressure and knocked my confidence particularly as had to make decisions daily which impact on others. It has improved but I still have times when it's not good, I think your brain just has to find new routes to get the information or compensate for those parts that were damaged by the bleed. I am much less embarrassed by it now. I don't think my ability to manage stress has changed but physically it does have impact on headaches. They told me that there is not enough evidence to link SAH to stress, however I think mine does have some genetic link, my sister has aneurysms and my aunt died of one. I went back full time although I did do a phased return and then worked 37 hours over 4 days - not something I would advise as absolutely shattered on Friday. Just changing jobs now, slightly less stress smaller team to manage but will work 37 over full week initially. If you can afford 30 hours I'd keep it for as long as possible as first 12 months were hard. I was very afraid in the first year, thinking every symptom related to my SAH, I don't think it ever leaves but it is less now and I think it gets better with time I wish you luck in your recovery, we are probably the very lucky ones who get to come on here and I know this site is so supportive. Regards Sharon
  18. Welcome Tim and thank you for being able to share how you feel, some excellent posts which I hope will show you the support that is in this group. I too suffered awful low mood, anger and a numbness around all the things that I had previously enjoyed. It felt like life was flat and grey. I too had some counselling it did help and whilst I still have low mood at times I think that is now more related to life's general up's and down's. I agree your medication may take time to have effect, like Macca says you will emerge stronger and whilst things may have taken a different course you will find your enthusiasm returning slowly but surely. Regards Sharon
  19. Hi Cindy My sister has anuerysms like me fortunately hers are small and have not bled, I had one large one and my dads sister died of SAH. My daughter had MRI to check but she was clear thank goodness. My son who lives in America has not been checked. When they checked daughter they did tell her aneurysm can develop at any time so having a clear scan now does not give total reassurance. Sharon x
  20. Welcome Sally I had had a large aneurysm over 10 mm which they felt had bled, when I had a thunderclap headache and collapsed. Luckily it was coiled successfully, my sister who also had a thunderclap headache (no bleed)was found to have 4 aneurysm's 3 very small and one 4mm. They have not coiled hers and after two years have stopped monitoring as they have not grown. They have told that she has the same chance as everyone of one rupturing. I am sure they will decide what they are going to do and it is lucky they found them. You will get that holiday I am sure, it is very shocking when you first find out but if there was any immediate risk they would have you in for surgery now! I hope your appointment gives some answers for you and reassures you about what will happen. Take care and look forward to hearing how you get on Sharon x
  21. Welcome Josie, great to have you on site. Very early days for you and i think everyone has shared those worried feelings following a SAH, it does focus us on how fragile life is. The worry does get better as you recover and certainly your emotions will be all over, mine were dreadful in the first few months. I still get some anxiety but I can now put into perspective more easily. Appears a a lot of people have taken ill whilst running - ha not this tortoise but Claire and Chris will be excellent motivators as both back running well. My best advice is to take things easy, accept wherever possible that things have altered course but with support (lots on here) you will find a way through and come out the other end. I look forward to hearing how you get on and remember if you have anything to ask someone on here will be able to help Regards Sharon
  22. Good luck for you Headway appointment. By you have your hands full four children under age of nine, wonderful but hard work on top of a job and recovering from head injuries. I can struggle sometimes with sentences and get more overwhelmed when I have any pressure. I found this so hard in the first year, I often could see people get frustrated as my thought process would drift and I would confuse people. I used to get agitated too, I have learned slowly to calm myself when it happens and relax more about it. I have even laughed with colleagues about it just saying I have a lose connector today and please bring me back when I drift! Not sure if there is any pattern when it happens, I did find keeping a note pad helped as would jot things down more which helped me feel more in control. You have made such fantastic progress and remember brain will be finding new pathways for information and connectivity. Keep us up to date about your appointment. Sharon
  23. Michelle thank you for sharing your story and hope it will be help to Victoria, my family and partner too were great at the beginning, very supportive and understanding but the levels of this lessened quickly. I can relate in some ways to your experience Victoria, life goes on as normal for them, I guess your husband has always been a workaholic and passionate about sailing. This certainly happened in my family once they thought I was safe i.e. home and managing to get up!, they just got on with things they had always done, I sometimes felt very alone coping with the emotional after affects from my SAH, it is very difficult to express sometimes what we need from our families. As suggested by previous excellent posts communication is the way forward, exploring how to make the relationship work particularly dealing with the impact from SAH. It is also good to seek external support, I did and it helped immensely to understand my feelings, anger (falsely apportioning blame for my SAH on demands from mothers Alzheimer's and stressful job), emotions and to have some strategies to support my own wellbeing. People react very differently after crisis, often as result of upbringing, past events or need to be in control, all of these things will affect both you and your husband. It is good to have an outside person who is not emotionally involved to give a more balanced perspective it certainly helped me. This forum can also be a very useful supportive group who can share experience, friendship and a sense of humour to help you on making a good but different life. I wish you well and look forward to hearing from you. Regards Sharon x
  24. Welcome keeping fingers crossed that your Momma is making those small steps to recovery. As everyone has said we all have an individual journey affecting us differently dependent on severity of bleed. I am sure she will be very aware of you near and the love you are feeling for her. I hope you also have support it is very frightening for families, I know mine were very scared when I was in hospital. It maybe a long recovery but she is in the right place with the expertise to help her mend both physically and mentally. Take care x
  25. Hi Robert i think you have had some fantastic replies and hopefully they have helped. When I had my SAH I made this assumption as I lay on my hospital bed that I would live my life to the full stop being anxious and have more fun. I arrived home and it was not long before I got quite depressed, was awfully bad tempered and angry with a lot of things and people. I could not understand why I was not estatic having this second chance. I was angry that people appeared to think I was well, cross because my memory was awful, humiliated that I got so many words mixed up. I also had to accept some counselling and I did find it helpful but it did require me to have to think differently. Having the assault has to leave some legacy, even without the tremendous injuries you suffered, I understand your need to take the job, I too wanted things to be just as before if not better. I agree that that returning to some form of counselling could be useful, also giving yourself permission to be angry but at the right things and right time in a safe environment. Sometimes being very brave is stepping out of what we expect for ourselves and embracing what we have. I wish you lots of luck with getting more support and think just by recognising you need support is the hardest part. Keep us updated. Sharon
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