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Hi What a tough time you are having, whilst I am not sure it was depression I did get very down a few months after my SAH I felt guilty for not being more grateful for the second chance I had been given. My emotions were all over the place for a long time, GP felt I may have Post traumatic stress, my sleep pattern was dreadful. I know my poor husband suffered the worst of my mood swings! Having to worry about finances must also add to the strain. It has significantly improved, nearly a year later and moods are more stable. I do hope the new meds help you and you get some relief from your pain. Take care Sharon x

Welcome Neil, sounds like you have had a tough time but that you are making a good recovery. I struggled in the early months with my confidence and sometimes felt like I was on an emotional roller coaster. I too doubted I would get back to work, but did return after six months with a months phased return, so it is early days but I am sure you will get back to work at some stage. I guess your health and recovery have to be the most important thing. I wish you well for the future and look forward to hearing how your recovery goes. Take Care Sharon

Welcome Andy so sorry to hear that your wife has had a SAH but sounds like you will be an excellent support to her. I know it must be quite a scary time for you and your family. Fingers crossed her eyesight will return as she improves. I hope this site is helpful, it has been to me. As every SAH affects each person differently having such a wide support group is helpful. Make sure you also get support as I know sometimes after my SAH I was not the easiest person to live with due to tiredness and my emotions being all over the place. Let us know how your wife is doing. Take Care Sharon

Thanks all for sharing and some very poignant posts. We all have losses but also many gains from any experience but a SAH is such a monumental experience which touches so many aspects. I think my biggest loss has been thinking I am invincible, suddenly this brings into focus that life can change in seconds. Gains have been many, including giving myself permission to slow down, that people and relationships are what matter and small crisis do not matter. Good health is my focus for 2016 pushing myself to take up some challenges in improving fitness and having more fun. I hope everyone reaches their own personal goals or at least has fun trying x

Fantastic feeling getting licence back, feels like a big step in the recovery process, hope Driving goes well Claire, enjoy x

Welcome Gilly sounds like you have had a tough time. I think many GP's lack knowledge around Bleeds in brain, whether as result of aneurysm or unknown source. My hospital had a support group running each month not sure if your hospital does, that is where I was able to get some questions answered. It is very early days and having this is life changing as it does take away that belief we are invincible, I do hope that the neurologist can help you, take a written list of questions and don't be afraid to give them to the neurologist to answer, this prevents you from forgetting. Please give yourself time and I doubt they would not be having you in more quickly if they felt you were at massive risks, share your fears with GP to see if they can find out any further info to help you. Take care x

Hi I still have memory issues I still find them frustrating and embarrassing sometimes at work, but I am learning to write more expansive notes and also being explicit to people and asking them to remind me. It is much better than it was so I am hopeful it will continue. Like Colleen suggests you have to be kind and give yourself time. Regards Sharon

Sarah - 7 years wow, well here's to the next 7 - you are very inspiring and have coped with so much very bravely. I have been helped so much by some of your posts - your family and its health and life ups and downs are very similar to mine and so know it is really helpful to have a neutral safe place to offload. I will be keeping everything crossed that whatever choice you make re aneurysm will be successful. It sounds as if you deserve some very good fortune for the next seven years, thank you for sharing your journey Sharon xx

Hi Sharon Good to see you have found site and that others have given you some helpful advice. I had my SAH in Jan and went back to work in July on a 4 week phased return. I do four days of around 9.30 hours some times longer, I struggle many days and by Thursday (day off on Fri) night just shattered, your shifts are very long and I guess you also have different shift patterns including nights. This must be so hard after all you have experienced. I am too back on sick I have to say with unrelated shoulder problem - and half pay looming - just what I need near Christmas! Not sure would your employer let you do less days (I guess this would be at less pay) so you can have longer time in between shifts, I guess until you have meeting with Occupational health these things cannot be worked through. I guess ultimately you may have to make some hard decisions about work, not easy as so much is linked in with work and finances. I could not afford to change hours but beginning to wonder if made right decision as I am ill again. I hope you feel better soon and that together with Union and occ health you work out something that is right for you Regards Sharon

Hi Louise a very poignant post, great you have survived 16 years but tinged with sadness for the losses and memories this time brings about. It sounds like you have had your share of hard times. As Macca has so wonderfully summed up you must have given and received so much love and happy times with those past and probably those who are suffering now, they have all contributed to the person you are today. They all would want you to live your life to best you can, here's to the next 16 x

Hi Davie I had real bad cough when my SAH occurred, I now do get a bit paranoid about coughing, I guess it is the association with that event. I am gradually getting better over this and tried reframing that cough alerted me to having an aneurysm not easy. I do think the fear gradually subsides not sure it will ever go though. Regards Sharon

Sorry to hear of the scary time you have been through let's hope things settle down quickly. I know that it is hard not to worry about finances but I do hope that you can try and not to let this impact on your recovery. Take care x

Will keep fingers crossed that results are positive x

Thank you for sharing I am now back to work but I know it will be so helpful to many, so sad you were treated so badly by your employer. Regards Sharon

Pleased that Mrs Subs is feeling slightly better and you are both managing after your sad loss. Regards Sharon

Thanks for sharing your story, as you will find from many posts after a SAH your emotions can be all over, my GP said that it can be as result of post traumatic stress as this event is such a shock. I went back to work after five and half months, like Clare on a phased return. I am now back to full time. My advice would not be to rush your return as it can be hard, my first full days were really hard and I still have days when I feel exhausted. My short term memory is still affected but worse when tired. You will get there just pace yourself and accept this has been one massive shock to your brain, which in essence is about everything you are! I hope you find some helpful advice here and a place to offload as it is difficult often to share worries or how you feel with people who often don't understand, I certainly have appreciated this forum. Regards Sharon

Hi Claudette Welcome to BTG pleased that you have been able to share your experience. After my SAH I was on an emotional roller coaster up one minute and down the next. It is life changing to know your not invincible and whilst you think you should be joyous to be alive I think I was in shock. I hope that this site does provide support to you and you feel less isolated it certainly helped me. It is very early days for you and just take it a step at a time. Take care Sharon x

Very moving posts which I think put in words some things that are difficult for many of us to express. Whilst I am in early days and feel like I got off very lightly not having a shunt or worse effects from the bleed, I still feel that life has changed. I guess to most people I am classed as cured and they do not understand SAH. It is daft things which get me, I drive somewhere and totally forget where I am going cannot tell you how many times missed my turn off coming home from work, it is like the alert message in my brain switches off. I forget words and that can be embarrassing. I have only what I can describe as brain fog some days, but I am learning that this maybe the new normal for me and whilst I do grieve sometimes for the person I was - life looks better this month than it did last month. All four of you have been enormous support to many on the site and I think posts like this help us to realise that yes we are alive but to survive this trauma does come with significant impacts. Thank you for sharing x

Hi Luke Sorry to hear about the hard time you have all had. I guess it is quite frightening Worrying about your mum, but great you want to support her I know after my SAH I felt very poorly and had some really miserable days whilst in hospital although they are great at medical side of treatment I too just wanted to be home even though I felt so ill. They are not the best to sleep in or to get any peace. My kids who are adults were good but I know they struggled sometimes as I had some times when I felt so sad, angry mixed in with being so grateful to be alive. Whilst I can only speak from my perspective around what I found useful as everyone is different, I needed to talk about what had happened quite a bit. I think this was because it was such a shock. Don't take things too personal if she cannot be bothered fatigue is awful and particularly in the early weeks (not a 100% now and mine happened in January). Mood swings were awful for me and my kids were great at giving me solitude at times. Sometimes what I did not find helpful in the first 4 weeks was their mistaken belief that I needed pushed to get better, I also think (not their fault) that they often dismissed my worries about my future as suddenly you realise how quickly life can change. Just be you and patient and I am sure mum will appreciate this, let us know how she gets on Regards Sharon

Fingers crossed things start to improve Sharonx

Hi Clare I share your frustration mine was only a 4 week phased return and then I had to use holidays to take extra time. I am now back to my 9.15 hours over 4 days with mostly the expectation that I am fine, I think for serious health issues should be longer phasing. I do struggle but cannot afford to reduce my days yet. Hope you do get it sorted but mine just stated the policy, they were a bit kinder because they did accept I could reduce hours temporarily but my job can be unpredictable if a safeguarding concern needs dealt with or funding application needs to be in you have to deal with it, so I did not want to cut pay and still do hours. Fingers crossed you get it sorted x

Welcome Bill Great to hear you are making a fabulous recovery, following a very scary time. My SAH also happened when I was in shower! I see you live in Cuyahoga Falls, my son lives there now after meeting and marrying an American girl. I am hoping to get back to visit him next year, he flew across when I took poorly but oh it did help my recovery to see him as I was fearful that I would not see him again. I know this site helped me too so pleased you have shared your story to help others. Regards Sharon

First few months after my SAH I had some weird feelings sometimes like a spider crawling, other times like bubbles very strange sensations totally gone 7 months later

I think anger is natural and I know I was angry both at "why me" and also at what I felt (probably had nothing to with me being ill) had contributed to it, mainly stress of caring for mother with Alzheimer's and other family stresses. I got frustrated at not feeling well, I also had some training planned at work which was a once in a lifetime chance which I missed. Having financial commitments also places extra pressure and being self employed must be hard when you are ill. All I can say is that things do improve slowly but don't be too hard on yourself these feelings are normal after a serious illness such as this and don't be afraid to speak to GP as mine was really helpful. Regards

Hi Beth Thanks for sharing your story and sounds like you have had an awful time, I too had a thunderclap headache like you luckily my sister had had one so I kind of guessed it was serious, mind I still drove up to doctor, who did send me to hospital. I had a large aneurysm coiled at the hospital (jan 2015) I appreciate how your feeling now as I felt very lonely too. My family were good but I guess similar to your's I do not think they appreciate the emotional roller coaster you go through. I went through every emotion from anger to finally being I think a bit depressed. I also felt guilty for not being over joyed at being alive, you read so many stories around how these things spur people to achieve life transformation. My GP did tell me I could be experiencing post traumatic shock. I still find it hard to talk to my kids (adults) about it as they have the attitude that "your fixed". It is slowly getting better, I still have some bad days but more good now, I hope this site helps as it has me sometimes just having people who are not close and who have some shared experience is helpful Regards Sharon