Gemma B-B

Hi all, I received some interesting news shortly before the weekend, which I thought I would share on here. Mainly for interest sake and in case anyone has any further information/experiences to share.... Turns out for the last 14 months both myself and my medical team have been labouring under a misconception - I did not actually have a SAH. Since I had my bleed last January I have been under a medical team who have been investigating the cause of my bleed. This is in part due to my young age (27 at the time of the bleed) and the severity of the bleed. Having had a number of tests and scans they have now come to the conclusion that my bleed as not actually a SAH at its outset but rather a Intraventricular Haemorrhage - i.e. a brain haemorrhage that started in the ventricles of the brain. As the bleed was so large it spread into the subarachnoid space and the source of it was obscured on my initial scans by the amount of blood which is why they thought it was a SAH. I have done a bit of research into Intraventricular Haemorrhages and have not turned up a huge amount of information. It does make sense that this is what I had as I also got hydrocephalus after the bleed and required a shunt, although a SAH can also cause that. They are wanting to do more tests and another angiogram to look for any abnormalities in that area, especially in light of the spinal surgery I will be having come the summer. Thought I would post on here though - and just when I was getting used to having had a SAH! Gemma x

Hi Susan, I had my bleed last January and since then I have had an EVD fitted and then a shunt. As a result of the bleed I have developed spinal adhesions and cysts of CSF on my spinal cord. I have also been told that I will have to have surgery to try and limit the impact of this and to try and stop me ending up being unable to walk. As other people have said - it is not a decision to be taken lightly. The spinal surgeon told me that in an ideal world I would not be having more surgery with everything wrong with me (I also have a congenial heart defect on top of the bleed and hydrocephalus) however that this was probably my only chance to be stabilised and if I don't have it done I will always run the risk of the cysts bursting and me being unable to walk. As others have suggested on here it might be worth seeking a second opinion and speaking to the surgeon about any concerns you have. I imagine that they will monitor you very closely due to your medical history, which in an odd way might actually make the surgery less risky. Good luck with everything. Gemma x

Hi Daff, Wow 4 years - congratulations on reaching this point and on all you have achieved during that time. The support you have given to me since I joined BTG has been invaluable, so thank you. I hope you have had a good brain-aversary, as I like to call it, and got to spend some quality time with your family. Gemma xxx

Hi Fay, I was also 27 when I had my SAH last year and I think youth can be an asset in recovering from such an ordeal. Congratulations on all you have achieved since your SAH. I hope you continue to do well and enjoy your life. Gemma x

Hi Subs, Yes the specialists I have seen have all been excellent. I have also been very fortunate with my workplace. When I informed them of this latest turn of events yesterday they said they were happy to accommodate me. The plan remains that I should continue on my phased return until after Easter and then get my timetable set up for September and then hopefully have the surgery around June time. More surgery is definitely causing some apprehension - especially as my SAH occurred during surgery/ To be fair I have obviously had a number of subsequent surgeries since then to deal with the bleed and hydrocephalus, I just don't remember any of them! I will simply have to trust in the medical team and hope for a good outcome. Having the time off work and the summer off will be a bonus which will hopefully allow maximum time for recovery and then allow me to return to work part-time in September. Gemma x

Hello Golden Willow (and anyone else looking in), Had my appointment down in London with the spinal specialist yesterday. It was quite interesting as I got to see all the MRI scans for my back and spine, which I had not seen before (on a side note I was quite surprised at how big the shunt in my head actually is!) Anyway, the specialist talked me through all of them and from what I have understood I do have adhesions on my lumbar vertebrae from the bleed, which might be causing some issues, however they are not that concerning in the grand scheme of things and there is not anything that can be done about them. What is more concerning (apparently) is that I have pockets of CS fluid near to my thoracic vertebrae between my shoulder blades and it is these that are causing all the issues with walking etc. From just my scans the specialist had expected to see me yesterday and book me in right away for surgery, however having now met me he has agreed to hold off for a short while. He was surprised at how well I was still mobilising (I only require a stick when out for a full day in town, not around work or home) based on the issues with my spine. What we have agreed is that I will have another MRI in April to get a more detailed view of my thoracic vertebrae and will then see him again in early May. He says my only option is surgery and he wishes to do it sooner rather than later as all the surgery will likely do is stabilise me at the point I am currently at, therefore the better I am going into surgery the better my long term prognosis is likely to be. I am quite glad he is going to hold off for a short while as I am currently trying to return to work. I am also currently out of sick pay, having just spent a year off work recovering from the bleed. Luckily my sick pay will resume as long as I am in work on April 1st, which will take some of the financial pressure off at least. Our current thinking is that I will have the surgery in around June/July as then I can have the summer off to recover and then hopefully return to work come September. My plan was already to return part-time after my phased return and now I know I am likely to have these movement issues forever then I will lock in a part time timetable prior to my surgery. I am currently going into work for 3 days a week and teaching 11 lessons as of this week. I am hoping to see around April/May time what I am happy doing and then agree to that for the next academic year. Anyway - that is about it. Not sure it will be of any use to you Golden Willow or anyone else, but thought I would post it in the off chance that it is. It is disappointing that it seems spinal surgery is my only option, however I guess I am fortunate to be near a hospital with such as specialist team. Gemma x

Hello Peter and welcome to BTG, Glad to hear that your wife is doing well back in the UK. I had my SAH last January during heart surgery (I have a congenital heart defect and was having a stent put in my aorta). I also developed hydrocephalus and had to have a shunt fitted. It can be tough managing all the different aspects of medical care, especially with regard to cardiac versus neuro issues. It is good to hear that your wife is doing well though. I also feel her pain with the DVLA - I am also still waiting to hear on getting my license back! Gemma

Oh and thank you Win - luckily for me most of the children have been very happy to have me back. Children don't like change though! xx

Hi Claudette, Yes returning to the school environment is tough, but I am sure you will do it. It does get much easier over time and the phased return allows you that time off to recover before going in again. I also have some additional responsibilities - I am a deputy Head of Year and was in charge of Gifted and Talented. Going back to work I decided to drop the G&T right away as I wanted to concentrate on getting back to the teaching first of all and didn't want to go back to doing the amount of work I did beforehand. I am still doing the deputy HoY and for me it has been good to spend some time doing some admin work out of the classroom. In the long term I think I would like to do a mix of teaching and some other tasks too and my school is happy to support me in this. Being a SENCO is a stressful job and involves a lot of different tasks - especially if you are new to it and have to set up lots of things. I think if it is something you enjoy doing then it is worth trying to get back to it. If your school are supportive hopefully you can come to a good arrangement. Good luck with everything - let us know how it goes. Gemma x

Hi Claudette, I am one year out and although I do get headaches they are not a constant feature in my life. I tend to find that I get them if I have done too much or, as others have said on here, in times of stress. They are different to the headaches I would get before my SAH as I tend to find I set them around my head wounds (I had an EVD and then a shunt fitted) or at the base of my skull where I know the blood gathered. My occupational therapist has spent a while working with me to recognise signs of fatigue and respond accordingly to them. She said that the headaches are around an amber on my traffic light system. If I find I am doing too much I try and take a complete break and relax in order to ease the headaches. Not always possible, I know, but I find it can help, especially with my return to work. Good luck with your return to work - I am also a teacher, but in a secondary school. I had my SAH last January and started to go into work from September. Prior to that I had spent a few months in rehab working with an OT to overcome my difficulties and prepare for the return to work. After teaching a lesson for my OT and line manager in September to demonstrate that I was still capable of teaching I spent a term going into work doing non-teaching work in order to build up my stamina and get used to being back in the work place (I found that a school is not the nicest environment post-SAH, although it has got much easier over time). I started my phased return in January and am currently going in on 3 days and teaching 9 periods. I am on the phased return until July and thus far my school have been very accommodating. I am still attending rehab on my days off, which has been useful. Good luck with everything. Gemma x

Hi Golden Willow, Thank you for posting - it is interesting that they think your MRI has shown something up. You will have to let us know what the follow up on it says. I know the adhesions I have been left with are quite a rare side effect and from things I have been told and found since I now know that I did have some of the risk factors for them (such as a high grade bleed, being in a coma and immobile for a period of time and having to have a shunt fitted). As for me at the moment I *think* I might have stabilised somewhat, which might suggest the adhesions have stopped forming. I see my physio every fortnight and there has not been a deterioration in my movement or feeling over the past couple of weeks, so that is good. I am going to see the spinal specialist on the 22nd of Feb so it will be interesting to see what they say. Will let you know. Take care, Gemma

Hi Clare, Congratulations on reaching the one year mark and also for all you have achieved in that year. It really encourages me to hear from people, such as you, who have made those positive changes post-SAH, such as getting a new job. A lovely poem and flowers off hubby. Hope you have a good day celebrating. Gemma xx

Congratulations on reaching 12 years. Your motto is a good one and is what my husband and I want to try and follow now post-SAH. Travelling is also high on my agenda again once I get clearance to do so. Would love to visit Petra and Cairo - my degree is in Archaeology and I worked as one prior to going into teaching. They are definitely on my list of places to go. Hope you feel better soon xx

Yes noise can be a big issue - the worse thing for me around the house is the vacuum cleaner, when my husband hovers I make myself scarce! I also loved music prior to my SAH. I can still enjoy it, but definitely have to be in the right frame of mind. Yes the more I am doing the more I think a mid-week day off would be good for me next year. I have also been referred for long-term physio anyway to help with my movement issues as a result of the spinal adhesions, so a day off during the week would be good to do that and to just generally have a break. Obviously being a teacher I do have to do a certain amount of work at home and now I generally do not have the stamina to do it in the evenings after school. I am not really willing to sacrifice all my weekends so I day off the in the week might work. Congratulations on almost being at a year Clare - you have achieved a lot this past year and should be proud of that Gemma xx

Hi Greg, Yes it seems like we have been left with quite similar effects. From the rehab I have done in London I know these are quite common side effects of a SAH - doesn't make them an easier though! Noise is an issue for me and can be quite draining. My husband and I live in a hamlet overlooking countryside, so my house is definitely my haven. Although a school can be quite a noisy environment, I am lucky that I have my own classroom so when I am not teaching I can close the door and work in a quiet environment - I am glad of this and that I don't have to work in an open air office or something similar. It is also an issue when going out as well, as you said. All those things are draining and really add to the fatigue. Divided attention is also another issue. I used to do more than one thing at once quite often (such as marking whilst watching TV), whereas now I do one task at a time. Tasks also take me much longer than they used to and I find that I simply have to think a lot more about everything. I have to make to-do lists for every day and constantly check my work, whereas I didn't used to have to do that. It is all quite a big adjustment, but hopefully over time will become easier. The noise cancelling headphones sound like a good idea. I have wondered about some myself as well. You will have to let me know how you get on with them. Good luck with your meeting with work next week. I hope you get a good outcome with them. I am glad your OT is also going in. I think it helps to have that kind of support when returning to work. Let us know how you get on. Gemma x

Greg - thank you for the belated congratulations. Returning to work has been a big challenge and you are right that a school is quite a challenging environment. I imagine that in the long term I will want to do some form of part time work, but I haven't worked out what level yet. I guess that is one of the things the phased return is for! Interestingly I find that I can do something each day - it is actually my stamina within that which causes me trouble. I find teaching more than one lesson in a row difficult. I imagine that I will never return to teaching a full day, but could hopefully do some form of part time work such as 4 shorter days or something similar. We shall see. I hope your move towards returning to work is going well for you. You could be right about the additional stress after an SAH that can contribute to a shortened fuse. I just find that certain things (such as noises) annoy me much more than they used to and I can't shut them out the way I once did. The breathing exercises sound like a good way of trying to deal with it though. Carolyn - thank you for your congratulations. I also hope to be coming on here another year from now. Two years down the line, wow! Gemma xxx

Thank you to all who have commented for your kind words and well wishes. My husband and I went out for a meal last night to mark the occasion and it was nice to have an evening out and a chat about everything that had happened (and to also chat about things other than the SAH!). I still find it odd that it has been a whole year! I keep thinking back to where I was a year ago (which is a little odd as I have no memory of it anyway). I am also hoping to get my licence back sometime soon; however my specialists are now thinking I might need to take a disability driving test due to my movement issues. We shall have to see what the DVLA says and go from there. When I spoke to the DVLA last week they said it could be another 8-12 weeks. I know others on here have heard back recently, so I am hoping this is an over estimation, but we shall see. Thank you for your response Subs. It is always useful to hear from family members affected by SAH as well. As you said there has been some personality change for me. Essentially my personality is the same; however I do definitely have a shorter temper than I had before the SAH. I find that I can lose my temper much quicker than I used to and as the person who lives with me my husband can be on the receiving end of that. You are right that communication is key for this so that any misunderstandings can be cleared up. Luckily for me my husband has been quite tolerant and can take a lot in his stride, however I am sure it has an effect. He has popped on here on occasion to have a look about and my rehab centre has someone for him to chat to as well. The SAH had changed many things for both of us in terms of our life plans – my career path and if we can have children to name but two, but we are adjusting to this ‘new normal’ for us and trying to find a life that suits us both. Hopefully this year can be one where we keep moving along with that. xx

Hello all, Thank you for your kind comments. I have had a nice relaxing day. Never did get round to any baking - turns out that whilst I told my husband to get the eggs for me I forgot to check anything else and we are out of castor sugar. Never mind! Also had an interesting chat with the DVLA and was told it could be another 8-12 weeks for them to decide on my case. Driving is still but a distant dream! Subs - my cardiology team have said the stent in my aorta has been mostly successful. It has not widened it as much as they hoped and I still have to take all my medication. That being said it has stopped me from continuing into heart failure and even with all the side effects of the SAH I can see the positive impact it has had. My next cardiology appointment is March so we will see what the plan is then as I have other defects which will need treatment in time. My family are generally good, thank you. This year has been incredibly tough on them all, especially my husband and my mum. I think they often get forgotten by others in terms of what they have had to deal with, my husband especially. At his work place people have said to him ' your wife is home now, so what is the problem?' they do not understand or comprehend the changes to our lives and the amount he has to shoulder. I know he spends a lot of time worrying about me and whilst this has been tough on me it has also been tough on him and has resulted in a life different to what he thought he would have. Hope you have all had a good day xxx

Hello all, So today is one year for me post SAH. It feels like quite a milestone in what has been a crazy year of ups and downs. One year ago today I was down in London awaiting heart surgery.During that surgery I had my SAH, which led to me being in a coma and my journey beginning. Of course I do not have any memory of this (for which I am still thankful) nor do I have any memory of much of my stay in the hospital. I came out of the hospital at the end of February with a few more holes in my head, half a head of hair and a shunt. Here my memories start and the real work of recovery began. The one year mark seems quite a good time to take stock of where I am and where I hope to go. Apologies for the long post! I joined this site at the end of April and it has been a god-send (thank you Karen and to all the moderators). When I first came to the site I had made what I thought was quite a good and complete recovery – I was wrong. I was no longer in pain from the bleed either in my head or spine and my wounds were all healing well. This was good progress, but I still had a way to go! I had yet to really notice or comprehend any of the cognitive changes that often accompany a SAH. My main goals were to get a new hair style and try and return to work. Come May I went to my GP to discuss my return to work. It was then that I finally had the first real glimpse of the cognitive damage caused by the SAH. I had sat some neuropsychological tests just before I was discharged from the hospital and these showed a range of issues from attentional memory to executive dysfunction. They thought that I was operating well below what their estimate was of my capabilities before the SAH based upon my educational background and career. I was sent to re-sit these tests down in London at the end of May and whilst they showed some improvement there were still major areas of weakness that needed to be addressed and overcome. Although I have a vague recollection of sitting these tests in the hospital I recall the ones in May much more clearly. I was especially surprised with how much I struggled with seemingly simple tasks like recalling bits of information or putting together a puzzle. It showed me how far I was going to have to go if I wanted to return to anything like my previous job. The end of May also brought a positive – I was able to be chief bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding. Something (unbeknownst to me) my family and friends thought would not happen. I had my hair cut into something more normal and was able to spend the day there, walk down the aisle and deliver a speech at the wedding breakfast. All this made my usually stoic husband quite emotional about how far I had come already. After this I entered into rehab. I was fortunate enough to have access to a range of rehab, both in the place I live and also at the hospital in London. I went to a SAH support group in London, which was useful in letting me meet some other SAH survivors face to face and also in hearing about the cognitive changes and how to deal with them. For me this was really useful as once I knew that it is attentional memory that is damaged I could put things in place to work around it. In addition to this I began to go to a specialist brain injury rehabilitation centre in Suffolk where I worked with a physio and an OT. I spent my summer holiday working with them to overcome my physical and cognitive issues. With their help I was able to make real progress and pick up many aspects of my life I had lost, such as cooking and going out to places I had found too noisy or difficult. Come September it was the start of a new school year. I went into school to undergo a work based assessment to check I was still able to teach a lesson and perform other tasks. I taught my first lesson in 9 months and it felt really good. At the end of this it was agreed that up until Christmas I would do into work to do non-contractual work in an attempt to build up my stamina and get me used to being back in the work place (a school is a slightly traumatic environment post SAH). The goal was to be at 3 non-consecutive days just before Christmas. I managed to meet my goals each week and get up to the 3 days just before Christmas. As I have discovered in my recovery from SAH the positive often comes with some negative. During this time I began to notice that my movement in my legs was deteriorating. Although I had had some physical issues since the SAH I began to limp more and struggle to move my limbs. At first my OT and I wondered if it was due to fatigue with increasing my hours at work.After a range of assessments it was determined that I was actually losing feeling in my legs and it was different then what was apparent immediately after the SAH. Cue another trip to London and a range of tests. On New Year’s Eve I had a full spinal MRI and shortly into the New Year I got the results – the bleed has caused adhesions on my spinal column, which is hindering the movement of my legs. Apparently this is an extremely rare side effect of SAH and usually only found in the higher grade ones. At the moment I can still walk and move about. I have an appointment to see a spinal specialist in February to discuss my options so will have to wait to see what that brings. January also brought a positive as I returned to work and actually began teaching again. I am currently on a 7 month phased return to work. Come the summer I will have to make a decision about where I am and what I want to do next year. At the moment I am managing to go into work and complete my lessons and other tasks. As expected I am finding it utterly exhausting, but am getting there slowly. I am very grateful that this is something I have managed to get back, even in a reduced capacity. Time will tell what I can achieve with regard to work but I am happy with what I have managed thus far. I guess that brings us to today – one year down the line. I still do not know what caused my SAH. It definitely was not an aneurysm or AVM (although I do have an aneurysm in my brain, which is now monitored). I am also going to see a specialist in February to see if they can get to the bottom of why it happened. 2016 seems set to be a year with more medical tests and meetings with specialists; however I am still grateful that I am here for it at all. Whilst I do not know what caused my SAH, I do know that I was lucky to have survived it. I am often quite hard on myself especially around the things I used to find quite easy or simple to do and that are now much more difficult. Many people on here have given the advice to be nice to yourself and remember what the starting point was. I now always try and do that to remind myself is how far I have come. Today is one of my days off from work. I am going to relax, do some baking and then this evening my husband and I will celebrate. For me today is one where I should focus on the positives and all the things I have gained and not lost, because the story could have been quite different.

Hi Ruth and welcome to BTG. I had my SAH almost a year ago. Like you no aneurysm was found for it (although it turns out I do have an un-ruptured one in my brain) and I also had an EVD. Unfortunately as I couldn't come off it I also ended up with a shunt. Lots of things you are experiencing sound very similar to me when I came out of hospital - couldn't have a group conversation, watch TV, go out to busy places etc. Over the past year all of these things have improved for me, it just took a while. I also slept an awful lot when I came out of hospital (around 16-17 hours a day) and even 6 months down the line I was sleeping 12-13hours and nothing would wake me. More recently this has gone back to a much more normal pre-SAH sleeping pattern. I also have sympathy for your driving position. I live in a hamlet with no public transport whatsoever and am still waiting to get my DVLA approval. This is part is probably due to the added complications I had and the fact that I have been left with some physical and cognitive issues. Clare is correct about the DVLA and I would also recommend getting in touch with them and sending off your information as early as possible. Good luck with your continued recovery Gemma

Hi Greg, Congratulations on reaching the one year mark - mine is next week and it is an odd one to reach I feel as it has come around quickly, yet also felt like the longest year of my life. I hope your gentle phased return goes well. I began mine at the start of this term and, whilst daunting, it has been a good experience thus far and it is nice to gain another aspect of normality back. As you said it is all about making the most of opportunity and doing what you can. Take care Gemma

Hi all, Thank you for your replies Carolyn - I have been referred on the NHS so will see a spinal specialist within that and be referred on if needed. I am planning on calling my neuro specialist next week to check and see how things are going and discuss my options further with them. Thank you for your positive thoughts - I hope you are doing well and not experiencing too many post SAH issues. Clare - yes it does seem rather a big setback at the moment, especially as I am trying to make my return to work. I teach History and Geography in a secondary school and was also in charge of Gifted and Talented and also a pastoral leader prior to my SAH. I have already dropped the G&T to concentrate on getting back to the teaching, but am leaving my decision about the pastoral role until a little later in my phased return. I do not know how the back issues will affect my going back to work, but hopefully I will be able to make a sustainable return in some capacity - I enjoy doing my job so would like to continue doing it, even if it was less than full time. Thank you for rooting for me It is much appreciated. Win - You are right about never giving up. I do have a stick to use when I get really bad but am trying to use it only when really necessary. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am always in awe of how much you have overcome and your positivity Gemma xx

I was advised to contact Access to Work due to my ban from driving and the fact that I live rurally where there is no public transport available in order to get help paying for taxis to and from work. I was approved for this and they have been very helpful in paying for these during my return to work. Definitely worth a look for any employment related barrier. Thank you for posting Daff

Hello all, Thought I would post a bit of an update and maybe also see if anyone else has any experience with this. After posting about my movement issues back in November I had a meeting with my OT and she had me reassessed by the physio who I had been seeing. From this I was told that my movement issues were actually now different to what I had upon first leaving the hospital and I was showing signs of neurological damage in the lower limbs that was not there before. This was on the Friday and I went to see my specialist on the Monday as I had already been in contact with them about it too. They sent me for an emergency MRI that afternoon to see if there was anything happening brain-wise. This came back with no change from my last MRI in summer. I was then referred for a full spinal MRI which I had on New Years Eve. On Tuesday I received a phone call from my specialist. The spinal MRI has revealed that I have developed adhesions on my spinal column around the lumbar region. This is as a result of the SAH and hydrocephalus. It is extremely rare and only occurs in the most severe bleeds. At the moment they can give me no prognosis. Adhesions form over a period of months and then usually stop. I will need to see when they stop and what damage is done then. At the moment I walk with the limp continuously and need a stick for any distance. I am losing feeling in my right leg and sometimes drag it, but I can still get around. I have been told that I can still start my return to work so had my first day back teaching yesterday, which was good I am now waiting to see the spinal specialist to discuss my options. My neurosurgeon has said that it is permanent and the only real option is spinal surgery, which I will have to think very carefully about as I imagine it will carry some quite severe risks. Having been told how rare a complication this is I know this is a long shot, but has anyone on here come across this before either personally or in their role as a carer? I am obviously not looking for any medical advice, but more to see if anyone had an experiences to offer. Happy New Year to everyone Gemma x

A very thought provoking post. I too have been thinking about the things I have lost and gained since my SAH, maybe as it is almost one year since it occurred and I am now under investigation to try and find out why I am having so many issues waking (turns out it wasn't just fatigue - ah the fickle nature of SAH recovery!). In terms of loss: My stamina - I used to get much more done in a day (although this has improved enormously over the past year and I feel I am at a reasonably sustainable point currently). Many aspects of cognition, which I took for granted before this occurred. The ability to multi-task, my speed of thought processing, my ability to filter out things, my attentional memory.....the list goes on......I simply never appreciated the amount of things my brain did before the SAH. My physical fitness - this has got much more worse recently. I (and my specialist and OT) had put it down to fatigue, but after a another assessment it turned out that my issues were different from what I had initially after the SAH and were getting worse (which the hospital have never seen before post-SAH) so I am being investigated for the cause currently. I especially miss that I cannot dance, which I guess also fits into the loss of certain aspects of social life that you mentioned Daff. My career - prior to this I worked full time as a teacher, with two additional managerial roles. I have already dropped one of these additional roles and am about to start an 8 month phased return to work (after 6 months in rehab). To be fair I do not know what the outcome of this will be, so I haven't actually lost my career entirely, however I imagine it will be different to what I once thought it would be. The illusion I had that I could plan my life out fully. Pre-SAH I had a plan for everything. Now I have to deal with the fact that I don't know what is going to happen. I do not know what the outcome of my return to work will be or what I will be like in 6 months/a year/two years time. I will simply have to wait and see and take each day as it comes. In terms of gains: I have to say my gains focus mainly around two areas. The first is a loss of fear about some things. Some of these are silly things, for example I was terrified of the dentist before all this but now I am fine with it (to be fair after a SAH the dentist seems quite tame and also I have so many medical issues that no dentist wants to do any work on me anyway). However I also have less fear of trying new things and going after the things I want. This also ties in to my other gain. It sounds corny but I do think I appreciate my family and friends more and have more of an appreciation of the small things in life. I think to be honest those closest to me like my husband/parents/in-laws have also gained some of this and now we make more of an effort to see each other and spend time together. A healthy 2016 sounds like an excellent plan Happy New Year xx