Roshni

Hi SarahLou, I think you get to a point in your life where you realise that you can either wallow in self-pity and take everything in life as being one big plot against you, or you can take to brushing things off your shoulder and accepting that we all have the capability to overcome anything. Many people around the world have overcome such overwhelming hurdles; what makes us any different to them? What did they have that we don't? Everyone has the same capability, it's just a matter of tapping into it and believing you can do it. Our mind is our most powerful instrument after all. I bet that was tough for her. No matter how old you are, it's always going to have a massive impact, especially as she was so young. I hope her homework goes well! I'm sure she'll ace it! At the moment, hydropool seems to be at a standstill, which is pretty much how everything is at the moment. Nobody seems to be doing anything to help us, and we're stuck! I hope that the next time we speak, something will be moving. Five years ago, I thought the same thing, however, and yet nothing still. But hey, things can happen in an instant, so you never know! Hi Karen, Things are okay. We're just struggling with getting help to move house. The council is seriously messing us about, and we're just not getting the right support. It's ridiculously frustrating and downright annoying. I can't believe she's moving! She mentioned briefly on Facebook that she was looking! Wow! I wish both of you the best of luck! I'm definitely living life to the best of my capabilities. My friends and I are planning two holidays this year; one to Edinburgh and another to Dublin. I'm really excited! Plus, I'm starting a new course funded by the British Film Institute, so I'm really looking forward to that! I know exactly what you mean about the lack of after after care and support. Once you're out of hospital, your're left to your own devices. I don't want to count the amount of times I've had to email or call people left, right and centre, just to get a tiny piece of information from them. Even today, I've spent most of my afternoon emailing people trying to chase things up with my dad's housing information. The way they act about the information we ask for, it's like we're asking for a million pounds to spend for giggles! Lots of love

Five years down the line, and my family and I are still waiting on an answer as to whether my dad is at the right stage of needing adaptations to the house. Some of you already know the story and are aware that my dad is physically disabled and requires so much equipment for everyday use. We've run out of space, my mother sleeps on an old fold out chair which is a step away from my dad's commode. He has a rickety canvas cupboard packed with clothes, equipment, pads, cleansing foam etc. A box at the foot of his bed full of carer's items. Our lounge is our dining room, dad's bedroom, dad's bathroom. Our box room is filled with benefit letters, solicitor letters, leaflets, boxes, clothes, old equipment, computer parts. Four people live in this house, and we have a garage full of junk. Surely the option would be to adapt our garage to make my dad's bedroom. No, of course not, said the council. Our house is a corner house and the drainage for all the other houses is attached to our own. So we can't adapt it in any way. Our other option is to move houses. I admit, we weren't so keen on that at first, but figured it would be the next best option. At least when my brother and I move out, we'll know that our parents are in a safe area. In the mean time, until my parents are settled and my mum isn't relying on my brother and I as much to help, we're all moving together. The council said that they would only be able to house my mum and dad. So now they want to seperate the family! Five years down the line, and we're still nowhere. I'm sure many of you understand the daily struggle of making two ends meet to support your family, especially if they're still recovering from their illness. It's never easy, and never will be. But the help we're entitled to never comes and we're all left in the dark until somebody tells you, years after you needed the help, that there WAS more than one or two options. The problem always boils down to money. Our solicitor and social worker told us to look for a new house, so we did. We found plenty that were suitable for adaptation and perfectly located. But it was for nothing, because we were told that they still can't house all of us and won't help pay for the down payment on the mortgage, when they previously said they would. I don't want to sound dramatic, and I'm sure there are families worse off than we are, but it's difficult to see your mother in the morning looking so worn out and close to breaking point. Is there anybody who knows what options are available? All we want is to move house and give my dad the aid he needs. We're not asking for a million pounds. Just HELP with payment to the house, and then that's enough of us asking anybody else for help because, frankly, nobody listens except for the people in the same boat as you.

Hi Karen, Yeah, it's a massive pain! But we're hoping to get him into swimming or a hydropool so that the water helps him stimulate his muscles into relaxing. We have a private masseuse and physiotherapist who are willing to help out, so fingers crossed all goes down well! The most frustrating thing about the adaptation is waiting around for other people! The entire process is ridiculously slow. I'm working hard to achieve my dreams, and I think I know that I need to get on with my life. I can't stay at home forever in hope that I can help. We've done what we can, and we'll continue to do the same, as always, but I can't stop my life. At the end of the day, I'm still young and have to do something with my life. I'm lucky enough that my mum understands that, and my dad too. The business is slowly getting it's name out there. I know for sure that we have two to three clients already! Here is the link, for anybody interested to look! http://www.paradoxproductionsuk.co.uk/ I've been speaking to Lauren, and she told me she plans to move out soon! That's such a big step, and I wish her the best of luck! It's never easy leaving your home! I know I'm going to feel so bizarre when I move out next year. It always seems so slow when you're actually in the middle of it all, but looking back at it, you wonder how long it has actually been! I'm glad that BTG is booming! Lauren said that it's essentially a full-time job maintaining it. I'm so happy that it's come this far! And thank you for linking to my first post Take care! xx Hi SarahLou, Thank you, really, for your kind words. That was truly inspiring! I hope all is well with yourself! Take care xx :) Hey Sami, Oh gosh, yes! I'd forgotten! Thank you, I will definitely get in touch! No doubt, I'll need all the help I can get! Oh wow! 15! It's so great to know that she's got a plan. I bet she'll excell at everything she does! I bet she's just as beautiful, if not even moreso! It's odd thinking how she was so young when you and I first spoke! Little kids should stay little I absolutely adore dogs! My neighbour had an alsation. She was so cute! Buddy looks so playful! I'd never tire of him! My mum said she'll allow me to have a dog when we move, so thumbs up! As long as I pay for it's upkeep, which is totally fair! I hope you're right! My dad has two of his niece's weddings to attend this year, and hopefully my sister's too, next year. He has something to work toward, even moreso now! Don't worry, I can believe I'm twenty either. Twenty-one come July! Hopefully a weekend away in Edinburgh will help me get over how old I actually feel, compared to what I actually am You're hardly old! You're only as old as you feel, they say.... So I suppose I best start acting my age then.... Take care xxxx Hi Michelle, Thank you, really. I can understand what your kids went through at the time. It must have been so tough for your youngest to have seen it happen. I was the one who found my dad, after his SAH. It doesn't seem like it at the time, but it has a much bigger impact than ever imagined. It can change your plans, and mould you into who you become. I have no doubt that what happened with my dad allowed me to meet some of the best (and worst) people in my life. But if it wasn't for everything that happened, I'd be a completely different person, and I'm sure your sons will say the same. I know that I have the support of many people here, and that sincerely helps me with fighting for my dad and doing what I want to do. Family are there, but knowing that someone you've never met, has been through it all with you and knows exactly what you're going through is something else altogether. My morale has been heavily lifted and I know that I can count on so many people on BTG to simply type a few words onto a keyboard to help. You may not know how much you're helping, but you are! Thanks, Michelle and take care! xxx

Hi Sami! My dad's progress is extremely slow at the moment, but I suppose watching it from home makes it seem all the more slow! Visitors seem to believe that he's improving, so that's a good thing! We're still in the process of fighting for adaptation for him, or at least moving to a new home. Plus we're trying to get physiotherapy for him, as it stopped about a year after he came home. Haha, no I haven't met any boys yet. I don't think I'm looking, either. I know that when I meet someone, things will progress from there! But at least I can be ecstatic about my sister! She's engaged to her boyfriend of seven years! Thank God and FINALLY is what everybody said here! How are you, these days? And the family too? Take care! Hi Karen! That seems to happen a lot! Everytime you think about me, here I am! I know, it's odd thinking that it was five years ago! It doesn't seem like such a long time, but my GOD it is! I'm glad you think that. I'm in such turmoil over what to do. I look at somany people and wonder if I'm doing what is "normal" but I'm hardly in a normal situation to base what I do with my life on anybody else's. I don't want to regret my decisions and I know that my mum doesn't want me to be unhappy. The good thing is that I've teamed up with an old friend of mine to start a small filming business. Quite new, really and I don't know the slightest on running a business but we seem to be doing well so far and we're both intelligent enough to be able to pull this off! It's actually quite scary thinking I'll be at university and running a business away from home. So many big steps! How are you both? Has Lauren finished university yet? I'll send her a message on Facebook! Is everything going well for yourself? Take care! xxxxx;-)

I can't believe it's been five years since I first came on this forum. It feels just like yesterday, and the odd thing is, I'm sat in the exact same spot I was sat in when I posted my first thread! My dad suffered from an SAH back in Feb 2007 and is still recovering. I guess the thing that's bought me back is that things are looking like they're falling apart at home and I don't know where to turn. I suddenly rememberd BTG and how they helped me cope back when I was 15. It gave me a lot of courage, knowing that there were others that understood what I was going through, and vice versa. As a result of my dad's SAH and how things were at home, I ended up dropping out of college. I thought it was the best thing to do at the time, and I was needed elsewhere. I don't think I will ever look back and regret the choices I made, purely because it made me the person I am today and I wouldn't have met all the wonderful people in my life at the moment. I am starting University this year and taking up two courses (hopefully!), which is something I never thought I'd have the capability to do five years ago. I do, however, doubt whether leaving home is the best choice, purely because of how things are at home. In all honesty, reading a lot of the stories of what has happened to some people makes my situation seem so trivial! Love to hear back from anyone

I think that getting respire care would be so helpful, especially if it's getting the information direct from carers themselves. My mum cares for my dad full time, and has been since his SAH in 07. It's astonishing to think that in the past 3 years or so, nobody has actually come forward with information about respite to my mum. We were only told about this in full detail when my mum started Direct Payments. I've been recently looking into respite for my mum because she's been stressed and there are so many options. If I hadn't gone onto the NHS website myself, I probably wouldn't have known about it though. The government do need to make carers more aware of such services available, really.

Hiya Cindy. My name's Moony. As Scott said, we're all here for you (even though I'm 15). My dad had a haemorrhage and is still in hospital, so we're still going through the recovery stage. I hope that you're doing well and keeping up the recovery work! My best wished go out to you and I hope you do well for the future! Hope to talk soon. Moony. xxx

Hi John. I sincerely hope that you're doing well now and wish you well for the future too! As I told somebody before, you'll realise who your true friends are through hardships in your life. I know that you may not take this seriously from a 15 year old, but I've seen enough to know some facts of life, at least. Anyway, I hope that you're still doing well. Your wife obviously loves you a lot. Any woman hates seeing the man she loves in pain and enduring suffering. I can barely imagine what she went through! I'm glad that you're taking life as it comes and being easy and going out. Keep it up! I will definately keep supporting my dad. Even though we used to argue a lot, there's love hidden somewhere! No doubt about that! Wishing you and your family well in the future! Thanks and hopefully talk soon. Moony. xxx

Hey Louise! Thanks for the welcome. Hope to see more of you soon! Good luck and wishing you well. Moony. xxx

Hi! Thanks for that! I'll be sure to look into it in the near future! Thanks for the welcome, and great to hear from you too! Take care. Moony. xxx

I will keep smiling! Don't worry! Thanks for the support!!

Keith, Thanks for the welcome. Kids seem to take things the hardest. It's new, scary and utterly life-changing, especially at such a young age. Thank you for your kind regards, and I also hope that you and your family are all doing well. Wishing you well for the future. Moony. xxx

Karen, I will definately contact Lauren. I don't think you're a biased mum; you just have faith in your daughter, which I'm sure she appreciates fully. Her friends are like mine; though they say they understand, they won't know until they actually go through something as life changing as this, although I wouldn't want them to go through this. Yeah, my dad is a strong-willed man. If he's survived living with me, my mum and sister for all of these years without losing it, he can go through anything!!! Again, I wish you well in the future and your recovery!! Moony. xxx

Sami. 36 is such a young age for something like this to happen. My dad's 51, just turned in January. I'm sure your daughter was petrified. At ten years old at that, as well. I understand completely what your daughter was going through at that time. You recovered in a relatively quick succession, though. But going through this type of illness is terrifying altogether. I completely agree with you when you said: I have tried a lot not to worry, and so far, it works a little. My school work is good, and I'm still top of my classes, which I am relatively proud of. My dad would probably murder me if I fail my exams and coursework. I'd probably be the next person in hospital!! I agree with you there. I'd rather my Dad, or anybody else for that matter, go through something like this. Although, my Dad would rather this happen to him, than his family. Everyone's selfless. I appreciate you being there for me, and look forwards to talking with you in the future. Just so you know, I'm here whenever you feel like doing all you said before: rant, rave, scream, cry....whatever you like. Thanks again. Moony. xx

Hi Karen. My Dad's doing all right. Sort of. He's been getting infections though, for the past two weeks, and incoming relatives don't exactly help. He had a chest infection, diarrhoea and MRSA within the two months. But he is improving a lot now. He's going through physiotherapy each day. He sits in the large kurton chair for about an hour, and he does nod and shake his head, as well as speaking a few words. I do feel he is improving, but it's scary because I've not heard him taunting me for over two months. I've almost forgotten what his voice sounds like. I will definately contact your daughter and talk with her. I'm sure she can definately know where I'm coming from, if not anybody else. I hope you're much better and wish you well in the future. Thanks. Moony.