Kate71

Hi there I think everyone has emotional and psychological reactions to their SAH - not just physical ones. What happened to us all is huge and it brings up lots of "stuff" that has to come out somewhere. Mine has manifested in panic attacks and higher anxiety - but it could equally be more or less assertiveness. I think it's good that you are aware of it - that is the first step to tackling it bit by bit. One day at a time an all... x

I think you're amazing... the SAH is enough to deal with... being a mum is difficult, being a mum (or dad) to a child who is physically suffering is huge... put it all together and you have a recipe for madness. Feeling like you may be losing it, is not crazy - most of us would feel like that...the fact is, you haven't lost it... and that's something you should be proud of... Please recognise that you are going through far more on a day to day basis that most people have to deal with in their lifetimes. Go easy on yourself. Be kind to yourself Sending you love x

What wonderful sharing! I guess it's about finding our own ways to honour what we've been through and how far we've ALL come xxx

Thanks Sandi - that's such a great idea I get what you're saying about "fixing the date". There's a part of me that thinks that by marking it - I'll be giving it more significance and I'll always be in thrall to it - rather than moving on... and yet, because I've had some panic attacks recently, I don't want to go in to work and then start to freak out on the day!! maybe I should stop giving it so much thought .... Mexico sounds gorgeous - hope you have a fabulous time xx

Hi all As the great day approaches (first anniversary of my SAH in about 5 weeks), I am wondering if, and if so how, to mark it. I have been enormously lucky - my physical recovery has been phenomenal and I have little or no after-effects. Emotionally it's been harder and I am still dealing with various aspects. So I am wondering whether to take time out and mark the day or whether to go to work and treat it like any other day. (Most people at work don't know what happened to me - I was on maternity leave at the time - and those who do have forgotten). So i'd love to know how you mark your anniversaries. Do you do something? How do you feel on the day? I know that we all go through emotional rollercoasters but I'm wondering how it impacts you. Appreciate anyone who wants to share x

Great photos - they look really professional Isn't it amazing - you may now have difficulty with the written word, but your creativity and your ability to communicate in pictures/through a different medium is enhanced x

Hi Your wife sounds a lot like me - conscious throughout and sense of humour intact... I was so keen that people around me wouldn't worry (and I guess not wanting to face up to it) that I was keen to get on and have "business as normal" but that was a mistake physically - you both need to understand that even if she has escaped with limited symptoms, she has suffered a major trauma and must rest as much as possible. Reading is exhausting. Visits and phone calls need to be monitored and kept to deadlines. I forbade people from visiting for me for a while because I just needed to recuperate... your wife will know what she wants - but maybe you can act as her filter if needed ("no I'm sorry, doctors orders - maybe you could come next week" etc)... also it was made very clear to me that the secondary threat was the disintegration of the blood back into the system in the 21 days post SAH - it's vital that you take the 4 hourly blood pressure tablets - even at night (obviously if your consultant tells you otherwise then listen to that!!) but I found that I got frustrated with remembering whether I had taken my tablets or not - and I had to write everything down when it was taken. I needed to understand that most people forget things that are routine (like regular drugs) particularly when you're tired and it was ok that I couldn't remember emotionally - it's a roller coaster... there's an unexpected euphoria - you've survived! perhaps there's a sense of being phenomenally grateful for life etcthen there's a huge down and incomprehension of how to understand what's happened - I guess you need to listen and hear her without trying to offer solutions... it's trite but most women need to be heard rather than fixed... obviously everyone is completely different - personally, I was resilient and optimistic - but later have really suffered from heightened anxiety and panic attacks - that hit a good 3 months after the trauma and when I least expected it... you will also need support. don't discount everything that you have been through and will still be going through.... take the space and time and support that you also need. I'm delighted that you have both come through these first few days and wish you both a gentle and easy recovery. It's amazing what blessings arise out of the most unlikely situations. My husband and I are much much closer and our relationship much stronger as a result of my SAH... I don't know whether any of this helps... the forum is a great source of support all the best and love to you both x

Hi Juliette I'm with you! My anniversary is 6 December... I have been left with no real physical symptoms (for which I count my blessings) but real heightened anxiety and a tendency to panic that I never had - I've noticed the impending date and wondered how to deal with it.... We had moved into our new home/area and just had a baby girl 3 months before the 6 Dec last year, so we had planned to have a Xmas party/house warming very close to that date - so I have suggested that we have it this year instead near that date (10 Dec) and celebrate the fact that we're still here etc. That said, I'm wondering whether it's the right thing to do and whether (emotionally) it will be too much for me... If you're anything like me - distracting yourself won't work. I think there's a lot of value in acknowledging it. Get some help with the drop offs - is there anyway your husband can do it with you?? Then maybe you can go for breakfast together afterwards (or similar)... you've got me thinking about how to deal with the day itself - I think facing up to it gently with support may be the way to go... if you come up with any tips/hints - I'll be happy to hear them!! xx

Woo hooo... that's fabulous - well done you... I so admire your spirit and the fact that you won't let people tell you that things are impossible... what an inspiration for us all! xx

I was desperate to get back to work as I wanted to pretend nothing had happened and to prove to myself that I was coping... fortunately I was warned in no uncertain terms to take 3 months off before I started "easing" myself back in... I am so glad I listened.... don't push yourself too hard, and be clear with others when they're pushing you too much... xx

Thank you all for your welcome, support and kind words. Although i'm still very anxious about Wednesday, it really helps to know that this is normal and that I'm not headed for a nervous breakdown!! I really appreciate all your comments. All the best to all of you on your own recoveries xx

Hi all So pleased to have found this forum! I had a SAH in December. Luckily, post A&E I received excellent treatment and ultimately had very few residual symptoms. I am back at work and apart from tiredness, some short-term memory loss/confusion and the occasional headache (inability to drink wine like I used to ) I am doing exceptionally well. I consider myself very blessed and I have no complaints. I am due for my angiogram on Wednesday which in itself scares me enormously, although I fully expect that all will be well. I went in to the hospital about 3 weeks ago for my pre-admission check. Since then, I have been suffering panic attacks (one whilst I was driving my daughters on the M25!). I think they were probably triggered by going back to the hospital and no doubt, the fear on my angio is playing on my mind. I think, however, that they are really linked to the enormity of what happened to me. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? How have (any of) you dealt with the emotional fallout from the SAH? All stories/ comments gratefully received. thank you