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Hey Diane, I'm guessing that it wasn't easy for you to post, so well done for your honesty! x I do know of other SAH'ers in the past, who've also self medicated using alcohol, because they were finding life tough in the early months and years of recovery. I'm guessing that there are others on BTG now, experiencing the same, but who would perhaps prefer to private message you, rather than using the forum in order to keep their privacy. Firstly, I would say that you need to visit your GP and have a completely honest conversation with him/her. Let them know that you're struggling with your mental health and self medicating with alcohol in order to deal with either your anxiety and/or depression. It's pretty common post SAH/stroke to experience both anxiety and depression. Life has been turned upside down and there's also the trauma of the physical bleed on your brain and the brain's chemical issues that may have been affected. I know that you're not in the UK, but I'm guessing that you have the HADS scale in the States.The HADS scale measures your anxiety and depression - The following is an example of the questions that you would answer - https://www.svri.org/sites/default/files/attachments/2016-01-13/HADS.pdf I truly believe that all SAH'ers should be given the HADS form by their GP to complete at different stages of their recovery. It also has to be answered completely honestly. We all like to think that we're invincable and don't like to admit that we're struggling with life, but in fact mental health is just as important as our physical wellbeing and the two go hand in hand. The first port of call should be your GP. Be absolutely honest as to how you're feeling and make that phone call. It can sometimes just be a simple fix with a blood test. Vitamin deficiency can also cause a myriad of problems with both your physical and mental wellbeing. If you're drinking alcohol excessively, it will also deplete essential vitamins and will cause you problems. There's also the menopause to consider for us Ladies of a certain age, as that can also cause quite extreme mental health problems and these can also mirror SAH recovery problems with anxiety and depression... so don't put everything down to the SAH .... https://health.clevelandclinic.org/is-menopause-causing-your-mood-swings-depression-or-anxiety/ Try to rule out with your GP any other causes for your low mood. I've never self medicated with alcohol, but had huge anxiety problems and it took me absolutely years to admit to the GP that I was struggling badly with anxiety. Plus the menopause kicked in and the hormones just went haywire! I also couldn't take HRT as I had horrific headaches from it. I was put onto an anti-depressant that also didn't work for me and I didn't want to repeat the experience for quite some while! Finally, I was put on to a low dose of a med called Sertraline to treat my anxiety ... It took a little while to get used to it and you have to be patient, but it's been the absolute best thing ever for me! I took far too long to admit to the GP that I was struggling ... I guess that you have to get to a point where you just throw your hands up and have to surrender! One size doesn't fit all ... I know that counselling is helpful to some and there are different avenues that you can go down and explore what suits you. You may not get it right the first time and it could take the odd fail, but you'll eventually find something that suits you and will help to make life easier for you. Diane, you've been brave enough to post here, that you're not coping and that you're self medicating with alcohol. It's the first step and I hope that your second step will be making the call to your GP. You will feel much better for biting the bullet and it's not as scary as you think. Sending you hugs and love.x

Hi Sarah and what a nightmare for you! x I would take the exact same route if I had your circumstances. I guess that the medics have to weigh up the difficulties of treating it, the outcome for you.....up against leaving it alone, especially if you're not experiencing problems at the minute. At least you know that they will keep a good eye on it for any changes etc. I'm guessing that your annual aneurysm scan will just check the aneurysms themselves, but something that you need to ask as whether the two issues can be combined into one check up scan? MRA is used to evaluate blood vessels and help identify abnormalities and it sounds like the right option to me as they will know from your last scan precisely the area that they'll be looking at to check that there aren't any changes, rather than putting you through angiography. Good luck Sarah and I wish you well .... Big hugs! xx

Jenni, just keep the faith and 4 months is very early on.... you will improve over the next few months and years....you won't be stuck with this. My bleed affected my right eye/muscle ... I had double vision and other, but with the help of glasses, it's got better and better. Try to judge yourself from when you left hospital and not before you had the bleed ... try to remember that your little girl is much better with you, rather than without you ... each hug and cuddle is precious ... walking her to school is a great accomplishment and a precious moment ... you will get better......don't be hard on yourself. It's normal to want to stay in bed and rest up in the early months ... don't feel guilty for needing that rest ... fit it in, when you need to and your little girl won't mind you snuggling up on the sofa and watching the tv. Take care and be kind to yourself ...xx

Mandie, I think that Macca has summed it up .... Along with the talking therapy, never worry about taking the chemical route .... I struggled for years and the first anti depressant didn't work for me ... I spent quite a few years after that, just suffering with bad anxiety and I was put onto an anti anxiety drug and it took it little while to get used to, but boy, it's truly helped my wonky brain! The menopause symptoms didn't help either, as they kind of mimic the fallout from the SAH ... Go and have a chat with your GP and don't do like I did....sit and suffer for years. There's no wonder cure, but if the first port of call doesn't work, keep going back to your GP until you find something that suits you. xx

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With many thanks to all who've donated with a monthly donation to BTG in December....it's very much appreciated and you really help to keep the website functioning and the support ongoing! x With many thanks to Louise and Kathy too, for their very kind and generous donation x... I'm blown away by the kindness from you all.... Thank you so much! xx

Sarah, from my own experience, I found the first two years the worse ... Coming to terms with it all and my limitations, as well as having to put up with some of the side effects from the drugs that I was on. I can honestly say, that it does get better and if there's one tip that I can give you .... and that's to measure yourself, from when you first came out of hospital and not before. I can also say, that I've had more recovery, past the 2 yr point... and that the brain does learn to re-train itself ... never give up and keep on keeping on ... well done! xx

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Hey Jenni, you didn't make it any worse and some people have a post coital migraine head, which is nothing to do with a SAH. There are lots of different accounts on the website of peoples experiences. I wasn't operated on straight away and it wasn't straight forward. I can only say, that you're early days into recovery ... it can take 3 months for the blood to fully dissapate down the spinal cord. Keep your fluids up/hydrated and make sure that you rest up when you need to. I would say that yes, you need to let things settle - re: eyesight. They're looking after you and understand your situation. There's not many of us who've had to stop driving long term ... keep positive and even at 14 years post SAH, I'm still seeing improvement. x

Hi Jenni, don't be embarrassed as you'll probably be surprised as to how many people have had a SAH after being intimate. It's any spike in blood pressure....you could have been sitting on the loo and straining, in the gym, gardening ... etc. If you've got an aneurysm lurking and about to rupture, it will do it with any spike in blood pressure....whatever you're doing at the time ... lots of people on here that have had the SAH with different circumstances and post sex is one of them and you're not alone. I've been running this site for many years and we've heard everything, so there's no need to be embarrassed...we're here to help! So, go to the Introduce Yourself forum or the SAH forum if you want help and support with a specific problem. And no, your outcome wouldn't have been any different if you had revealed to the Doc that you were intimate before the SAH ... It's as simple as that.... having a blood pressure spike could have happened whatever you were doing at the time, as the aneurysm was there ... don't feel guilty. We've had the fittest of people on here, who were in the gym, bike riding or the same as you, or on the toilet and many other examples. It honestly does and will get better for you ..... xx

Hi Ami, Eye twitching can be a sign of vitamin deficiency as well as tiredness. It might be worth having a chat to your GP, considering that it's gone on for 3 weeks. I was B12 deficient for some time and also Calcium/ Vitamin D defiicient with a twitchy eyelid thrown into the mix. I would certainly go to your GP and get it checked out. Hopefully they'll be able to rule out anything with a blood test and it could be an easy fix....like mine. x

Well done Colleen and Happy Anni-versary ... Recovery does keep happening and regaining your confidence with life. I feel your pain with the dental procedures ... I've been at the dentist for the last 4 - 5 months. It's not easy, but you'll get through it. xx

Well done on your 5th Anni .. I found that as the years went on, I learnt a little bit more and adapted to who I am now...it honestly does get better! Lots of love...xx

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