Gem, I so very sorry for the loss of your Dad .... My heart goes out to you and your family. I can't find the right words and all I can do is send you all, much love and know that I'm thinking of you. xx

With the Coronavirus taking hold and jobs being at risk ....and the current climate of uncertainty, I would urge members to cancel their monthly paypal contribution to BTG. BTG is in a good position financially and looking at the figures we're able to pay the bills, approximately for the next 12 months. We can always fund raise and pick up the pace once this virus is over and when everyone's in a better position. Take care all and many thanks. x

Hi Daff, Well done with getting to 8 years and it does get better, whether that's coming to terms with your deficits, understanding and just adapting and finding some peace with it all... I still truly don't have the magic answer, but I know that life's much better for me and hope that it will be the same for you too. x Congratulations with all that you've achieved and have had to face ... you're pretty inspirational! Lots of personal losses with your much loved family and your darling Mum....that would be hard, even without the wonky brain! Keep on keeping on lovely girl! You're a much respected member of our team ....we love you loads!!! ... xx

Hi Kathy and well done with getting to your two year anni-versary! x From my own experience, I think that 2 years on, is perhaps a turning point and believe you me, I'm still experiencing recovery and I'm at peace with my limitations and just glad to be here! It sounds as though you've got great family around you to share the hugs and love! Well done! .... and a big hug, for raising your 2 special needs children! ... I have no doubt that they will be surrounded with much love and everything that you can give them ... I'm totally in awe of you! Sending my own hugs and love to you and yours...xxx

With many thanks to all who've donated in February and the beginning of March.... it's very much appreciated! xx

Hey Tina, it's always good to have honest posting on here ... and you were brave to do that. We all worry on here, about what the future holds and just remember that you're not alone. Like I said before, put your feet up .... February isn't the best of months and what with the weather and the news at the moment, just bunker down and regain some energy! You're doing well and it does get easier! xx

Sending big hugs to you Tina! x I've got my next check up .. MRA scan ... next Wednesday, as I've got a neck left on the aneurysm. I don't like any of the experiences whether it's the scanner or angioram... I'm going to be 15 years post SAH this year. Would advise anybody to think about asking for a sedative before their angiogram, if their anxiety is high and don't worry about asking for it... I was exactly the same as you Tina, with my follow up angiogram and also asked for a sedative. It was much easier than I thought that it would be. However, hindsight is all well and good, but after your life has been tipped upside down, it's not easy to deal with, is it?! Keep on sharing with us .... if it makes you feel a little bit better....what you're experiencing is pretty normal with SAH recovery and if the anxiety gets out of control, go and have a chat with your GP, don't suffer it, if they can help you. Put your feet up, relax ... we know how you're feeling. Love K x

Must be such a relief for you! Take it easy for a while.

That's very good news! Some types of migraine are pretty horrible. Thankfully, I only get the classic one with the warning aura and that's bad enough and it probably takes me a good couple of days to get over it. I've been on Propranolol for many years now and it seems to have helped reduce the frequency of my migraines. Are they treating you with any meds?

I have had tinnitus since the SAH ... I'm 15 years post recovery this year, but it does get better or perhaps you just learn to live with it?...I don't have the answer. I still get what I call "white noise" ... normally when I'm feeling tired and I've done too much .... but it does get better.x

With many thanks to Johnnie M for his very kind and generous donation! x Also with many thanks to you guys who make a regular monthly contribution towards the running cost of the site! x It's very much appreciated. x

Hey Diane, I'm guessing that it wasn't easy for you to post, so well done for your honesty! x I do know of other SAH'ers in the past, who've also self medicated using alcohol, because they were finding life tough in the early months and years of recovery. I'm guessing that there are others on BTG now, experiencing the same, but who would perhaps prefer to private message you, rather than using the forum in order to keep their privacy. Firstly, I would say that you need to visit your GP and have a completely honest conversation with him/her. Let them know that you're struggling with your mental health and self medicating with alcohol in order to deal with either your anxiety and/or depression. It's pretty common post SAH/stroke to experience both anxiety and depression. Life has been turned upside down and there's also the trauma of the physical bleed on your brain and the brain's chemical issues that may have been affected. I know that you're not in the UK, but I'm guessing that you have the HADS scale in the States.The HADS scale measures your anxiety and depression - The following is an example of the questions that you would answer - https://www.svri.org/sites/default/files/attachments/2016-01-13/HADS.pdf I truly believe that all SAH'ers should be given the HADS form by their GP to complete at different stages of their recovery. It also has to be answered completely honestly. We all like to think that we're invincable and don't like to admit that we're struggling with life, but in fact mental health is just as important as our physical wellbeing and the two go hand in hand. The first port of call should be your GP. Be absolutely honest as to how you're feeling and make that phone call. It can sometimes just be a simple fix with a blood test. Vitamin deficiency can also cause a myriad of problems with both your physical and mental wellbeing. If you're drinking alcohol excessively, it will also deplete essential vitamins and will cause you problems. There's also the menopause to consider for us Ladies of a certain age, as that can also cause quite extreme mental health problems and these can also mirror SAH recovery problems with anxiety and depression... so don't put everything down to the SAH .... https://health.clevelandclinic.org/is-menopause-causing-your-mood-swings-depression-or-anxiety/ Try to rule out with your GP any other causes for your low mood. I've never self medicated with alcohol, but had huge anxiety problems and it took me absolutely years to admit to the GP that I was struggling badly with anxiety. Plus the menopause kicked in and the hormones just went haywire! I also couldn't take HRT as I had horrific headaches from it. I was put onto an anti-depressant that also didn't work for me and I didn't want to repeat the experience for quite some while! Finally, I was put on to a low dose of a med called Sertraline to treat my anxiety ... It took a little while to get used to it and you have to be patient, but it's been the absolute best thing ever for me! I took far too long to admit to the GP that I was struggling ... I guess that you have to get to a point where you just throw your hands up and have to surrender! One size doesn't fit all ... I know that counselling is helpful to some and there are different avenues that you can go down and explore what suits you. You may not get it right the first time and it could take the odd fail, but you'll eventually find something that suits you and will help to make life easier for you. Diane, you've been brave enough to post here, that you're not coping and that you're self medicating with alcohol. It's the first step and I hope that your second step will be making the call to your GP. You will feel much better for biting the bullet and it's not as scary as you think. Sending you hugs and love.x

Hi Sarah and what a nightmare for you! x I would take the exact same route if I had your circumstances. I guess that the medics have to weigh up the difficulties of treating it, the outcome for you.....up against leaving it alone, especially if you're not experiencing problems at the minute. At least you know that they will keep a good eye on it for any changes etc. I'm guessing that your annual aneurysm scan will just check the aneurysms themselves, but something that you need to ask as whether the two issues can be combined into one check up scan? MRA is used to evaluate blood vessels and help identify abnormalities and it sounds like the right option to me as they will know from your last scan precisely the area that they'll be looking at to check that there aren't any changes, rather than putting you through angiography. Good luck Sarah and I wish you well .... Big hugs! xx

Jenni, just keep the faith and 4 months is very early on.... you will improve over the next few months and years....you won't be stuck with this. My bleed affected my right eye/muscle ... I had double vision and other, but with the help of glasses, it's got better and better. Try to judge yourself from when you left hospital and not before you had the bleed ... try to remember that your little girl is much better with you, rather than without you ... each hug and cuddle is precious ... walking her to school is a great accomplishment and a precious moment ... you will get better......don't be hard on yourself. It's normal to want to stay in bed and rest up in the early months ... don't feel guilty for needing that rest ... fit it in, when you need to and your little girl won't mind you snuggling up on the sofa and watching the tv. Take care and be kind to yourself ...xx

Mandie, I think that Macca has summed it up .... Along with the talking therapy, never worry about taking the chemical route .... I struggled for years and the first anti depressant didn't work for me ... I spent quite a few years after that, just suffering with bad anxiety and I was put onto an anti anxiety drug and it took it little while to get used to, but boy, it's truly helped my wonky brain! The menopause symptoms didn't help either, as they kind of mimic the fallout from the SAH ... Go and have a chat with your GP and don't do like I did....sit and suffer for years. There's no wonder cure, but if the first port of call doesn't work, keep going back to your GP until you find something that suits you. xx