Hi everyone! I'm Mistina, age 38, a new member of the group. On March 20th 2015 I had a NA subarachnoid hemorrhage during sex. Luckily I felt strangely enough that I insisted my husband rush me to the ER. Although I was still technically "awake" I blacked out right around the time they wheeled me back into the hospital room. I don't remember anything for about a day or two. When I came to I was in the Neuro ICU at another hospital with a drain in my head surrounded by friends. The bleed pattern presented itself like an aneurysmal bleed. Everyone was extremely concerned. I spent two weeks in the ICU. Was able to have the shunt removed (thankfully). After my 3rd angiogram I was told that it was a non-aneurysmal bleed and likely just a vein that bled out. I was given a clean bill of health. I have no deficits, the fatigue has disappeared (although when I exercise I do feel it a bit) and the headaches come and go. I am now almost 8 months post hemorrhage and I have to say, I do feel VERY VERY fortunate. But I have a lot of concerns and I definitely have PTSD from the event. Some questions: --I am frightened to have an orgasm! How and when will this pass? I live in so much fear that this part of my life is over. The doctors who SAVED MY LIFE have told me that I can go on living just as I did before with no restrictions. Yet I can't be rational and trust them. --Will I be able to have a baby? This is another fear, not being able to have a family. --In the last couple of months I've noticed that my tinnitus is much worse. Didn't notice it until recently. I am a musician and definitely had it before my illness but the timing of this getting worse just seems weird to me. 6 months after... But not immediately after? It's not the wooshing or pulsating tinnitus I've read can be of concern with aneurysms, just annoying high pitched sound that seems much louder than I ever remember it being before. Should I be worried? Every time my head hurts, or I feel off at all I cry. I worry that it's going to happen again. I suspect that this is completely normal. I was told that "some other terrible thing is more likely to befall me" than another hemorrhage. Not the gentlest words from my doctors, but I think they were really trying to hit it home that this will not happen to me again and it's rare to begin with!
When I think about the time that I was blacked out I also cry. The event was so sudden, and I just disappeared. It could have been the end of my life. I guess I should be thankful that I would not have known any better. It was quick. As I head towards middle age I am reconciling with my mortality anyway. To have this close encounter, I have to say I am very shaken up. I am not a spiritual person, so it has been hard. Thanks for listening. I am looking for long time survivors advice on how to move forward. Reassurance that life can go on. I know these things take time, and I feel bad that I need so much reassurance. I feel bad that while I am completely aware that it's irrational, it's hard for me to trust my doctors words. I suspect time is the only cure. I think knowing other survivors will help me as well. I would also like to say, it's appalling the lack of resources for we survivors. I've emailed my doctors for reassurance-- and get no response. It seems like online support is all we have. Thanks for reading.
Win, My audiologist appointments have been moved twice! Not seen her yet. I'm doing a bit better, it comes and goes in volume, thankfully. Not the full on ringing it was there for a bit. My friend who had a bleed recently suffered tinnitus but hers seems to have resolved. Happy for her. As for me, been back and forth emotionally, but better for the most part. I am adjusting to my new self. The fatigue, the shoulder and neck tension. Accepting it all much better now. Still want to see a therapist. Need to get on that
