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Jan

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Everything posted by Jan

  1. It was 4 years last Friday 7th June that my brain let me down so very badly and changed my life entirely. This has been my worst year by far.I have words and their meanings in my vocabulary now that I never thought would apply to me, for example....... depression, anxiety, ptsd, fear. I have little self confidence.I have got into a rut that I need to find my way out of. This next year will be a year of change.It has to be. First step ( The BigOne ) is underway, selling the house and moving somewhere new. John and I realise now that there are only the two of us on this journey so the destination is OUR choice without having to consider others and what they might think. We have no family support at all so we need to hold each other’s hand very tightly and walk our own path to wherever it leads us. I try to be upbeat about the changes and challenges ahead but that finger of fear still taps me on my shoulder and by doing so has the unique ability to darken a day. I can only keep trying to try which is my intention. I am lucky, so lucky to have 3 people in my life who I love dearly and can rely on ALWAYS. My wonderful & very patient husband John. My darling Mum, and of course my very best friend Michelle who has helped me every step of the way and I hope will continue to do so because I’d be lost without her.Thank you Michelle for everything, for always being there for me. Love you. I’ll finish here, I didn’t know what I was going to post here so I’ve been typing as I’ve thought. Jan xx
  2. Michelle, Huge congratulations on your 5yr anniversary 😀 I could almost ditto your post when I do mine later!! You are a very strong and resilient woman who keeps on doing well, I have much admiration for you. More than that You are a very caring and loving lady always happy to help or advise here on btg. Btg is a better place because you are a part of it. Wishing you an absolutely brilliant 5th year 😊 Jan xx
  3. Hi Coleen, Huge congratulations on your 10 year anniversary I hope you have a truly lovely day ? As you said. . . Keep on keeping on!! Love Jan xx
  4. Congratulations on both of your special Anniversaries Macca, you are a very special man, I can’t thank you enough for always being here for me, I love your ‘way’ with words, your understanding and showing me how to look at things from a different perspective. Thankyou, thank you thankyou Jan xx
  5. Hi Joe, Thank you for starting this topic, reading the above comments has made me realise how much my tastes have changed. I’m 3yrs post SAH. I used to love a Macdonalds or Burger king occasionally, can’t stand them now, they just taste of grease. Bizarrely, I love vegetables now, I’d eat them before but it’s like I can actually taste them now. Like Win, I don’t like tap water but a Brita water filter jug kept in the fridge fixed that !! My taste for prosecco/Pinot hasn’t altered at all !!! Like everyone has said, it’s all down to the T word (time) keep trying your old favourites now & again Jan xx
  6. Well . . I did it!! What was I worried about? My physio Emma explained what she was doing and kept me talking to keep my mind off what she was doing. I only felt 2 of the 7 needles and they didn’t hurt.I was aware of her putting the needles in the top of my arm but only because I could feel her hand holding my arm! (I didn’t watch) until she put one in the back of my wrist I saw that one and it hurt. I’m sure it only hurt because I could see it, if you know what I mean? When it was over, I asked why I hadn’t had any needles in my shoulder considering that my shoulder is the major problem. Emma smiled and said that I’d had several needles in my shoulder all around the rotator cuff. Brilliant!! I didn’t feel any of those?Anyway I have another appointment in 2 weeks. I’m not sure yet if it’s helped with the pain but it’s no worse so here’s hoping? Jan xx
  7. I phoned N Staffs again yesterday. Switchboard couldn’t put me through to a nurse specialist as they don’t have one on their list!! She asked if I wanted to be put through to ‘the ward’ Which ward I had no idea but said ‘yes please’ As it turned out it was the ward that I was in 3 years ago. A lovely nurse answered and I asked my question re acupuncture, she seemed to understand my concerns and immediately went to find a doctor to ask. She came back to me with. . . . Yes Jan, it’s safe to have acupuncture after a bleed on the brain.??? Relief?? I can’t tell you ! So, I’m off to do my impression of a pin cushion this morning. I’ll pop back later to let you know how it went. Thank you all again for your advice and support. Jan xx
  8. Clare, Thank you, I will try again, I was actually told that there was only a nurse specialist for patients with cancer!!! Odd? Yes. There was a neuro nurse specialist when I was discharged 3 years ago I will try again, Thank you. Jan xx
  9. Tinaw, I think our posts crossed! Thank you for your reply, That helps to put my mind at ease ?
  10. SM, Thank you, I have tried to phone my physio this afternoon but can’t get hold of her yet, she is aware that I’ve had a SAH so I’m sort of assuming from that it must be ok, To be honest, I think that because it’s something totally new to me I’m being over cautious. I was ok until I read the leaflet she gave me and this sentence jumped out at me . . . . . . Research shows that acupuncture stimulates the brain to produce natural pain relieving chemicals - Endorphins............... It’s the ‘stimulates the brain’ bit that had me worried. I am just being a great big Wuss!! Jess, I was treated by Mr Tzerakis ( Not mis spelt, I just checked)!!! John and my sons referred (& still do!) to him as Dr Nik, much easier!!! Jan xx
  11. Hi Sis Thank you for your quick reply and advice. I have just spoken to my consultant s secretary ( my consultant/ surgeon is on annual leave) I explained what I wanted to ask and asked if I could perhaps talk to another consultant or nurse specialist? Short answer was NO . . Advised to ring my GP which would be a waste of time as they won’t answer anything without speaking to N. Staffs hospital first ?. Back to Dr. Google!! xx
  12. Have any of you had acupuncture since your SAH? I am currently having physiotherapy for my shoulder pain (rotator cuff damage) My physio has suggested acupuncture as the muscles surrounding my shoulder are so knotted that the manlipulation that she’s doing isn’t relieving the pain. I know that everyone is different regarding pain threshold and how far they will go with a particular treatment etc.I just wondered if anyone has had acupuncture and could share their experience? By the way, I don’t have a fear of needles!! I suppose what I’m really asking ( in typical ‘Jan the Rambler’) fashion is . . . . . iS IT SAFE?? Thank you for reading Jan xx
  13. Louise, Well Done You!!! Thank you for sharing your experiences and feelings, Like you I didn’t enjoy flying before sah but have always said since sah that I need to conquer my fears and get on a plane again.We used to go to Nerja in Spain every September.Ive just applied for a new passport (change of name to married name).so that’s the easy part done!! Just need to find my confidence and courage!!Thank you again for sharing, You are a courageous lady ? Jan xx Ps, forgot to say. . . . . . Beautiful photo xx
  14. Where do I start? The last 12 months have been more difficult than I expected, full of highs and lows. . . . The Best day , it goes without saying (but I’ll say it .anyway. Remember Jan The Rambler’s typing this!!) was my beautiful wedding day . It truly was the best day of my life so much so, I want to do it again ( with John of course!) I’m digressing already. I see things differently this year. Relationships with family and friends change.I have felt abandoned and isolated.The isolation is mainly my doing, I think my confidence went down a different path to the one I’m on. I’ll keep looking, it’s there somewhere. On a ‘good’ day I feel great, full of energy etc so here’s hoping there’s lots of those on the horizon. I’m still struggling to accept all that I’ve lost but more importantly I try very hard to appreciate all that I have. THANK YOU BTG for being here Jan xx
  15. Me too ☹️ I’m 2and a half years post SAH now I watch very little TV, Same as Siper Mario, I can’t stand the noise and movement and to be honest I can’t follow a storyline, The concentration wears me out. Mad isn’t it? Jan xx
  16. Super Mario, Thank you for this information, I will definitely look into this. Jan xx
  17. Thank you so much for your replies, Who'd be female?!, I went for my ultrasound scan yesterday, whilst lying there I was so tempted to ask ' is it a boy or girl?' Ha ha!! I decided it would be better to behave like an adult so I kept my mouth firmly closed ( well there's a first time for everything !!) Saraheliza, I don't have any tips re the panic, other than take deep breaths and try to distract yourself, I wish I listened to my own advice. I too seem to have a good day then a bad one, it's like it's par for the course for now ? jan xx
  18. Have any of you lovely BTG ladies had the misfortune to go through the menopause after your SAH?If so, do you have any advice or tips on how to make it easier?!, I had a 'lightbulb' moment last Sunday, having spent the afternoon sobbing and wailing 'I can't cope with this anymore'. It dawned on me that I could be feeling so miserable because of my hormones and not my head. Am I the only one who immediately blames the aftermath of Sah for every ache, pain, feeling, mixed up emotions? Anyway, long story short,I went to my gp on Tuesday to ask for help getting through this. She went through a list of menopausal symptoms, i.e. Hot flushes, night sweats, heavy bleeding abdominal.cramps,tiredness, lack of interest in anything, tearful..I sat there nodding saying Yes to all of them. First thing she did was prescribe citalopram ( anti depressants) I was unsure about having these but I will try absolutely anything to not feel how I felt last weekend. I went for blood tests last Thursday to check oestrogen levels etc, going for another one tomorrow to check vitamin B12 levels, I'm not sure why, can anyone enlighten me on that? Ultrasound scan on Thursday then on 24th I see a gynae consultant. Oh joy ! Im so sorry to have rambled on so much Any advice would be wonderful Thank you for reading Jan xx
  19. Jan

    Barometer Head?

    Many thanks for all your replies, As Lyn wrote its good to know it's not just me. Perhaps we haven't realised our new vocation? "And here is today's weather forecast, brought to you by BTG !!!!!" Jan xx
  20. Jan

    Barometer Head?

    Hi Sis, That is a great explanation thank you, You've just made it make sense for me ?We didn't get the predicted storm, just lots of rain, my head feels better now?Thank you again. Jan xx
  21. I've read posts on here in the past( can't find them now) relating to Barometer head and just wanted to ask a few questions. . . . My head has felt fuzzy and heavy today. I felt really really tired early afternoon so I had a sleep for an hour on the sofa, I Never sleep in the day.It was sunny and warm here this morning, it's cloudy now and I think we're due thunderstorms around 5pm.could my heavy head be related to the weather? If so, how does my head know that we're due a storm? I know that you can't give any medical advice, I just wanted to hear of other people's experiences/ feelings Thank you for reading Jan xx
  22. Macca Thank you, you've just had me laughing til I cried(happy cry !)Ive checked the kitchen cupboard, got a good stock of bin bags and an image ofJohn dressed like a village idiot, whoops I think you said yokel., just joking, he's only an idiot for putting up with me poor man . On a slightly more serious note Thank you for advice re medication, I will check side effects etc. Macca, you have a unique talent with your advice and humour,It never fails to lift me, Thank you Love Jan xx
  23. Where do I start?!!! Thank you all so much for taking the time and consideration to reply to my post.Because I know that you all understand, your replies have enabled me to 'look from the outside in' and that is a huge help. I think my biggest mistake since leaving hospital has been pretending that everything is ok and that I'm ok. Too much pride? Yes I think so. John and I have never been ones to ask for help, always happy to give it but perhaps too proud to ask for it., I think we asked on a couple of occasions in the early days , it wasn't forthcoming so we didn't bother asking again.. I agree that we should meet up with my sisters for a chat, as you've mentioned above if We don't tell them how do they know? The preparations are coming along re wedding This has caused added pressure My organising skills left me 2 years ago,I feel bad that I've not shown much interest or enthusiasm, I've mostly left it to John ( like he doesn't have enough to do! poor bloke) 2 months to go and I haven't bought a dress yet! I asked him if he'd still marry me if I turned up in my jeans and Tee shirt, Bless him, he said Yes(I think he'd prefer to see me in a dress though!!!) My anger and frustrations are my enemies right now, and throw in a touch of the green eyed monster and lots of tiredness, not the best combination! I am on Anti deps~sertraline., I've insisted that the dose be reduced in readiness for coming off them completely, I know they suit some people but they're not for me. As for an appointment with my GP, please excuse the next sentence. . . . I would be better off having a chat with Alfie (my dog) he has more knowledge and understanding of Sah.,sorry if that came across as very rude. Just reading and re reading all of your replies is helping me more than you know.You are all so generous with your time and advice. Thank you again Love Janxx
  24. It's been 2 years since my Sah and I hate to admit that at the moment it's beaten me into submission. I can't find the energy to fight back, my apathy towards anything and everything is relentless, I have little interest in anything. John and I have spent most of the last fortnight arguing(we don't generally argue) I mean arguing to the point that I'm closing windows so the neighbours don't hear. I know that I've been feeling sorry for myself recently, we have no family support at all, I've tried to talk to my sisters a couple of times but nothing changes. I told one sister on Sunday that I'd told John to leave me an go and find some happiness (I am very very lucky, I know John won't go anywhere, he loves me). I (stupidly) thought that by telling my sisters how bad things are,they might be more understanding of what we go through, not holding my breath. I think that I resent the normality of their lives. Sorry to have moaned Ive just read what Ive typed. I do know that this isn't depression(had that last year) Thank you for reading Any advice, experiences, thoughts gratefully received Jan xx
  25. Hi Kay, welcome to the best source of support and friendship you will come across along your recovery journey. Ive just seen your post regarding the cerebral angiogram and wanted to tell you 'don't worry', mad words I know, we all worry. When I went for mine,I was also told that I may have to stay overnight and ,like you that was the last thing I wanted.. Now, I know all hospitals are different and we are all different. This is not medical advice, just my experience..... I was told that I would be sedated for the procedure so I asked " if I have it done with no sedation can I go home tonight?" Answer was Yes. I felt no pain or discomfort. I had a lovely nurse holding my hand all the time, explaining it all to me and answering my questions( she probably wished I'd been sedated, I can talk for.Britain) Worse part was having to lay flat for 4hours before being allowed home.I hope this perhaps put your mind at ease a little, please let us know how you get on. Take care Jan xx
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