Hi, I've been looking at BTG for a while now, there seems to be a huge amount of information and a lot of mutual support. I've found the discussions a great help recently.My SAH goes back a while now: just about 20 years. It was clipped, was a horrendous trauma for my family but I put it to one side, pretended it never happened and, because I was very young, driven and couldn't accept being considered a 'victim' of ill health, I ignored what had gone on in an automatic, survival kind of reaction. I had no problems until last year when I suddenly started having weird headaches and they found 2 cerebral aneurysms. This time they were both treated with stents so recovery was technically much easier than the craniotomy and clip I had last time.I go back to have an angio every 3 months. I find it exhausting, incredibly painful and I seem to be living according to when my next exam is. I live OK with the idea that I have AVM and the docs have said it will happen again but I'm getting into a cycle of dreading the exam and it waking up my fears to the point where I'm thinking about not going anymore. I feel drained after the last one, physically and emotionally and it feels like I'm waking up after years of denying that actually I'm quite scared, and not like everybody else, something I never really admit to myself. Why has reality hit now, so long after he start of the problem? No idea but I'm feeling a bit lost and could do with hearing from anyone who goes through these kinds of ups and downs, questions with no answers and such! Thanks for reading.