I suffered from a SAH at the end of April of this year and have only recently come to terms with it. I resisted googling or reading about what has happened to me ( as googling any illness normally ends in death, the more you look ) but over the past couple of weeks have done more research, including finding this site.
I am a mid forties male and have had no real health problems before, other than knee surgery years ago. My SAH manifested at home, having stood up from being on a chair I felt a really weird and odd pressure behind my nose, so odd I walked, albeit very dizzily, to get my phone and called an ambulance. During the phone call the neck and head pain had started and by the time that the ambulance arrived I'd lost feeling in my right leg.
I was admitted to hospital straight away and was in HDU for three days, none of which I remember, before surgery and coils being inserted into the aneurysm.
I came out of hospital two weeks later and about two stone lighter, feeling very nervous, but very lucky to be alive.
I've read about people feeling agitated, nervous, panicked etc etc and despite my previous role as a successful, indestructible bloke, I completely get it. I've only recently felt more comfortable being anywhere on my own, even taking my dog for a walk, due to what appears to be psychology rather than anything physical. Any feeling of pressure or dizziness brought, and still brings to some extent, fear of a recurrence. It appears that as time goes on though that these "echoes" of memory of what happened ease with the passing of time.
Like others I appear to have memory losses, and some weird ones, like people's names, situations that people mention that I cannot recall and yesterday I could not remember what celery was called !! My wife, who has been my hero and all round superstar helps out in these situations on the whole so I don't embarrass myself too much.
I have found that my temper has become very quick to present itself and I am even less tolerant than I was before but trying hard to work on this for my wife and three boys sake !!
I mentioned that I felt lucky before. When I've told other people this I get the odd raised eyebrow. I feel lucky to be here still and feel lucky that I have chance to press the reset button on a few things that I had ignored pre SAH. Most of all I feel lucky to have the family and friends I have and am totally and utterly grateful to them for being so supportive.
Like others I suppose, I do feel like my invincibility cloak has now been totally removed and I have experienced what it might just feel like to be near the end. This has changed my outlook on life, for the better on the most part.
Good luck to all !!
N
