Heather

Thank you everyone for your replies and insight. It's really helpful for the both of is to know that he is ticking along in the same way as everyone else. Daffodil, I like the analogies, and yes, sandwiches packed plus a blanket for naps You did remind me of just how much he has been through and your description of what hydro feels like is great for me, thank you. Would have got back to you all earlier, but I forgot my password

Thank you all for the welcome, I'm glad I found you too. I was at work when my husband Gordon collapsed while doing a bit of DIY at home. He was found by my 28 year old daughter who lives at home with us still. She dialed 999 and just kept shouting at the phone with no idea if anyone was listening (she's deaf). When paramedics arrived, she text her brother who called me at work and our lives changed right there. Hubby already had physical disabilities and chronic pain (which has improved since the SAH) and was already on disability benefits. Work were good to me as I made many a journey to Oxford during the ensuing months but in the end I had to give up nursing. He had a ruptured basalar tip aneurysm with large bleed (he had been on warfarin at the time) which was coiled. He was in ITU for 10 days (ventilated for 4 days, evd etc) then on the ward. His consciousness deteriorated on the ward so another evd soon followed by a VP shunt. A few weeks later he transferred to Oxford's OCE for just over 8 weeks. He was home for a month after that and things were really good, improving well. Then the shunt blocked and he had it removed. After canceling the new shunt several times, they sent him home to see how he did without it. That was what we now call 'hell week'. The progress from his weeks of rehab was totally destroyed. He became incontinent, couldn't wash or dress anymore, kept going to bed in the wrong room, would go and lay down in bed at any and all opportunities, rambled... was such hard work. I joked that I'd never worked so hard without being paid. He was readmitted the following week and 2 weeks later, after yet another evd and more cancellations, he got his new shunt and came home 2 days later. He is more cognitively challenged now since the second vp shunt. My career is on hold for the foreseeable future. He still has his disability and mobility benefits, I haven't got anything coming in myself yet. We are ok financially at the mo. Gordon has started further rehab work at our local headway. Days still merge together and weeks pass very quick.

Hi. My husband had his SAH in April and it was 5 months after this that he finally came home. I then found that there was very little suport. I had questions about his head itching, about his silences, about how to help him in day to day life. How to encourage him to get motivated without nagging, his permanent headache, how to develop his concentration ability... the list goes on, but the answers aren't there. I want to understand a bit of how he feels, but he just can't find words to explain. He just waits to get better. I've struggled with not just a caring role, but with things he did that I took for granted and now have to fit in alongside cooking, cleaning, accounting etc, such as DIY, knowing who to call for housing repairs, undertaking general maintenance. He watches me, tells me it's an easy job, just get a thingy to go on the whatsit. But he can't tell me where to source a thingy and can't show me how to attach it to the whatsit