I'd like to introduce myself! I'm Claire, I'm 36 years old and unfortunately on the 22nd of November I had an undiagnosed Berry Aneurysm rupture causing a subarachnoid haemorrhage. If things had worked out a little bit differently, I likely would have been dead. My fiancée is a doctor and happened to be home on a rare day off on the morning it happened.
I'd just come out of the shower and as soon as I left the bathroom, a headache hit the likes of which I have never experienced before. If he hadn't have been home, I likely would have put it down to a migraine, crawled into my bed and never woken up. Fortunately he was home and heard me screaming in pain from downstairs. He came up to investigate and got me to lie down.
I don't remember much past that. He said I was getting paler and paler, became increasingly confused and then started seizing. Fortunately it wasn't a full seizure, it was a partial seizure down my right side. I came in and out of consciousness a few times; once when the ambulance men arrived and once when we first arrived at the hospital but that was about it for a week. Apparently I looked awake and was speaking to people the first week in the hospital but I only have tiny fragments of that week in my memory.
I had to get a lumbar puncture twice in two weeks because the pressure in my brain went up and I became so confused I wasn't making sense at all. After each lumbar puncture it was like I woke up mid sentence and could only remember the last 30 seconds or so of what I had been saying. My right leg was also paralysed the first few days but I was mostly so out of it I couldn't really work up the proper level of concern. It was a category 4 bleed that I had which I understand to be really, really bad however I seem to have escaped with remarkably little permanent damage.
I'm now home (thankfully) and finding I'm having more good days than bad. I got home on Monday last week and I mostly slept a lot that first week. On Saturday, even though the doctors had tried to prepare me for the frustration I may face, I had a complete and utter meltdown at my family. Our routine on Saturday morning is to get up, tidy the house and just generally make the place presentable.
After 30 mins of tidying I was absolutely shattered. Instead of behaving like a reasonable adult and saying i had to go for a lie down because it had taken it right out of me, I had what I can only describe as a 20 minute toddler rage / crying meltdown because I was so frustrated that I was tired after just 30 mins and couldn't help more. I was completely shocked at the level of frustration that hit and I don't think anything could have prepared me for it.
Fortunately my understanding fiancée and father in law finally calmed me down, told me not to be so silly and sent me off to bed.
Now just a few days later I am doing SO much better. I am managing to stay awake most of the day without a sleep, I am a freelancer so I have been able to work for a couple of hours the last few days and most brilliantly I've not had a constant headache for the last 3 days either. However I am suffering from chronic insomnia at night when I actually want to go to sleep and I am also having little blips in my memory where something may have only happened 30 mins ago but when asked about it, it's not like I forgot and the reminder jogged my memory - it's just totally gone.
So I'm trying to keep my memory right with my bullet journal and lists, I've got a doctors appointment booked for the start of Jan to see if they can give me anything for the insomnia. I know it will be good days and bad days but right now the fact I have more good days than bad is great.
As a random aside, for the last 2 years I have suffered from crippling anxiety which made me so ill at times I had panic attacks and either puked or passed out. Since the SAH it has gone. I mean it's completely gone! So my other half has theorised that possibly the growing aneurysm was pressing on part of my brain causing the anxiety and as it grew, so did the level of anxiety. Now it's gone, so has the anxiety. In a way I actually see what happened as a strange blessing in disguise because my anxiety was getting to crippling levels where I could barely function. It is such a massive relief that it is gone that I feel better than I have in a very long time.