Hello I’m new here! I had a SAH in 2014 which was treated by coils however I had vasospasm afterwards sadly and ended up in hospital longer than I would have wanted. A few months after I left the hospital I developed double vision and was whisked away again to have a craniotomy as my aneurysm was growing again.
I lost my job of 15 years as I couldn’t keep up or even drive which was a part of my job.
After this I took a year out to recover and started job hunting. I’ve had three jobs since this time and I’ve been sacked for each one. I kept my previous jobs for ten years plus so I’m quite upset to say the least!
My next job entailed training beforehand and I was finished as I had a ‘bad attitude ‘. Admittedly I found it hard to control my mouth, I spoke too soon and had literally no filter! Second lasted one day and I told the boss to stop panicking which apparently you just don’t do when he is concerned. Lastly I’m in a job but weeks in and I’ve fallen out with the boss as she has put pressure on me to do things I can’t do! I’ve over reacted I suppose so I know I’m in for a telling off at the very least.
I used to be calm and collected , polite and not rude, now I’m the opposite yet despite having words with myself I cannot keep quiet and let things happen, I cannot allow myself to be almost subordinate and take the orders!! I feel like I’ve emerged from this SAH as a monster almost. I hate myself and this person I’ve become. Is there any hope??
I took antidepressants a few years ago which helped my mood but after 9 stone I put on and a general improvement I stopped them as they made my anger even worse!!