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  1. Hi all, just an update on my return to work so far. I resumed my office job this Monday, 6 months post-SAH. The first two or three days was quite fine with good spirits and energy, possibly fueled by adrenaline and also because no one dared to give me real work. Originally I didn't feel I was too different from what I used to be, though in the afternoon tightness in the head and mild headache kicked in. It also took considerable more time to digest even slightly more complicated material. Today, however, I am feeling more fatigued. Tired as soon as I got up. Difficulty in concentration even in the morning. Some soreness and tightness in the neck and pelvis. Frustration and panic as I could not multi-task. I guess this means my energy level and stamina are just not yet back at where they are used to be. Fingers crossed there will be continued progress. Even though not entirely unexpected and mentioned by some BTG friends before, I found it quite difficult to handle colleagues and friends' casual comments. They are certainty well intentioned and probably meant to lighten up the mood, but it still hurts when they say things like "everyone has headaches" "fatigue is part of working life". At times I feel like being somewhat slighted and belittled. Other times I doubt if I am too self-absorbed / pitying. Pray that I will learn to adjust and adapt to the new pace and mentality. Hope everyone is doing well here at BTG
  2. Thank you. Will definitely take a detailed look and discuss with my doctors. Meanwhile, just to share Emilia Clarke's account of her SAHs in case you are interested. 😊 https://www.newyorker.com/culture/personal-history/emilia-clarke-a-battle-for-my-life-brain-aneurysm-surgery-game-of-thrones
  3. Wonder if you could kindly share the details of your neuropsychological testing e.g. types of tests, areas covered and possible conclusions? I had wanted to discuss with my neurosurgeon but he thought it might not be useful for my case. Thanks a lot!
  4. Yes I do, but I have a nervous deposition to begin with. I am always frightened by sudden loud noises and quickly approaching objects. Once, I almost pushed someone out onto a busy road as he tried to give me a surprised tap on the shoulder. 😓 One change I noticed was sudden panic attacks for no reason at all (just lying in bed), or the silliest of things (can't find a book). Heavy breathing, pounding heart and sweaty palms ensue. Thanks Daffodil for your positive message! I tend to spiral down negatively and see the worst possible outcome. Hope I can one day learn from the many encouraging stories here on BTG.
  5. Hi JanetY, this speaks to me so much. Despite being lucky in physical recovery, I still feel there are losses in higher cognitive functions (such as memory, deduction, organisation, reactions) but it is often difficult to put my finger on specific incidents. This makes me apprehensive about returning to a demanding job. I am also worried that lost of intellectual capabilities will somehow diminish my identity. With no major physical symptoms now, I cannot tell if I have already "maxed out" my recovery. There is constant internal struggle in terms of when to return to work. On one hand I know I should defer my return until I have recovered even more, like how many fellow SAHers have said. On the other, I feel I need to start the returning process asap lest I miss the "honeymoon" period where people would have greater tolerance for me given the recentness of the SAH incident. Above all, I am just anxious what a reduced intellect would mean for my career and life planning ahead.
  6. Many thanks for everyone's response. It is simply so difficult to slow down! I guess it might be true that many SAH patients are type A people. 😉 However, I am struck by a comment from my ophthalmologist this week - you do know you are lucky to be alive, right?! It came as a timely reminder for me, though I am still easily distracted by apparent and physical recovery. On the other hand, my head spins from automatically planning for the next day/week/month/year before bed...😓 I recall someone on BTG said the invisible injuries and problems post SAH makes them that much more difficult to explain to others. How I wished we could all see the bruises and damages inside, if only to remind ourselves that this is an ongoing process!
  7. A follow up question too - how do you differentiate between genuine fatigue caused by recovery from SAH and general "laziness" from a slower paced life when you are not working? I have trouble distinguishing the two and it makes me rather anxious : ( I feel I cannot accurately assess the true progress of recovery unless I can tell whether I am "justifiably" tired or just accustomed to doing less. Thanks in advance for any advice or comments. : )
  8. Thank you everyone for your advice. You have really shown how this forum is a warm and supportive community. Over the past weekend I have tried going out of the house for longer and having dinner with a group. Must say what would have been an easy and relaxing break in the past gave me headaches and insomnia! I have also tried glancing through work emails just now. An hour of it without actually working on them already makes my head spin quite literally. Suppose there is no denying I am still not where I would like to be recovery-wise. I will probably tell my neurologist next week and try to ask for an extended sick leave. Many thanks again for your support. Hope I will have better news to share next time! Meanwhile, good wishes to all who are working their way through post SAH here.
  9. Hi all, I am new to the forum so a big hello to everyone. A short introduction - my SAH (grade 1A, blister aneurysm) in mid Dec 2018 surprised docs and nurses given my age (mid 30s) and clean medical history. Having stayed in HDU for a week or so, I moved to the neurological ward for about two weeks before returning home with some general weakness and eye sight problems, but no major physical difficulties. Similar to simonk, https://web.behindthegray.net/topic/7261-coming-up-to-1-year-post-sah/?tab=comments#comment-130884 Personally I feel quite good about my physical recovery so far (limited headaches and dizziness, sight much improved), but family and friends insist that I need longer to recuperate. Having gone through some of the posts here, I definitely understand the need to take it slow and for phased return to work as far as possible. Unfortunately, it would be difficult to arrange shorter hours due to my job nature, so I am afraid it is all-or-nothing in terms of resuming work. So my question is this - do you have any experience with jumping back into full time fast paced positions about 2-3 months post SAH? If so, how did you cope? My main worry is that my seemingly good recovery and conditions are largely due to the ample amount of rest I have at home now, and yet I could not truly test out my progress unless I am in my old "normal" high pressure circumstances again. Thank you in advance. Any thoughts or sharing would be greatly appreciated! caw
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