This is my first proper post. I have read comments on this amazing site for a couple of months now. My Partner, Donna set me up and used it for help and advise to best support me once I was out of hospital.
I suffered a cat one bleed on 7th September 2019 whilst out on a park run. I lost the feeling in my right leg and arm (from what I can recall). I was conscious throughout. After a scan I was found to have two aneurysm’s one of which had burst. It’s worth noting that I am one of three Brothers. My younger brother suffered a SAH 15 years ago. My older brother suffered a stroke this Christmas Eve. Subsequent scans have reviled he too has an aneurysm and is awaiting a date for his coiling.
My coils were fitted on the following Monday and I was discharged 18th September. Throughout my time in ICU and ever since, I have always struggled to accept what has happened to me. I felt like a fraud, like I was wasting the time of the Drs and nurses who helped me. When I read the posts on this forum it seems to enforce my feelings. I only had a cat one bleed, only had 2 coils fitted, only spent 12 days in hospital. I often think I should reply to some of the posts with my experience but then tell myself that I haven’t had the same experience, so how can I?
Prior to this event in my life I was running a lot, 5 half marathons and the Edinburgh marathon. So I was fit and very active. Now 6 month post SAH I find myself struggling to walk more than a mile. That said I know I am very fortunate to be able to walk that distance.
I started my re-integration to work 8 weeks after the SAH, an hour per day for a couple of weeks. I am currently working 5 hours per day. It has been a major benefit having a very supportive employer. Again I find myself struggling with what I am typing. I have it easy compared to a lot of others! I struggle with my employer telling me to take it easy and that I should slow down. I feel like I am taking advantage of my situation.
My scars are not visible to me so I can’t see why I should be treated any different. The only time I realise I can’t do what I want is when I hit the wall. (Running terminology). I recently had 2 days off work after increasing my hours from 4 to 5 per day. Too many meetings and too many issues to deal with at once wiped me out.
So why am I writing this post? Not sure really, other than to tell my story in hope that it will help me come to terms with what has / is happening to me? There may also be others that feel the same as I do, frightened to speak out?