Thank you all for your replies. Each reassuring and comforting. Again I’m not sure what I am looking for after this post ? It was more an opportunity to vent and share my frustrations. I hope no one thinks I have trivialised having a SAH? That was not my intention, I am struggling to accept it for myself, but feel that posting this may be a step towards helping.
Again thank you so much for taking the time to read this and thank you for all those who sent a reply
Regards
Matt