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About Shawcar

  • Rank
    New Member
  • Birthday 14/02/1961


  • Biography
    I'm married to a wonderful man. We have 1 daughter who will turn the big 30 this year. I became a nurse late in life at age 49. And I am completely at a loss since my SAH on July 8, 2012!
  • Location
    Las Cruces, NM
  • Interests
    Gardening/landscaping, reading, travelling
  • Occupation
    Registered Nurse
  • SAH/Stroke Date
    July 8, 2012

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  1. Thank you all so much for your response and for reminding me I'm not alone! I see at least 2 huge common threads in your replies - water and de-stressing. I'm negligent of both. I always start the day with good intentions regarding drinking water but never drink more than 8 - 16 oz a day. That changes now! Pre-SAH, I thrived on stress - always being the first, the best, the go getter at work. I struggle so much letting that go. For awhile I was meditating at night. In hindsight, I was more ... at ease if not more relaxed when I was doing that. With this new position, I see an opportunity to simply (?) make taking time to a break a part of my routine. Sort of new start and this will be part of the job duties. I never have been good at taking care of me and I carry a ton of guilt that I caused my bleed - "they" surely haven't given me a reason. Guilt = neglect because I think somewhere inside me I feel like I don't deserve to slow down. So much self-work to do. I need to think of this as an opportunity and a blessing. Thanks!
  2. Hi. Been awhile since I last visited here. I thought I had this thing licked - NA-SAH 7/8/12. Thought I had my energy back, my nerves of steel and no fear back, knocked the headaches and head pain. Superwoman! Lots of denial. Was taking topomax but I finally realized I was in a constant fog - sleeping during my lunch break, coming home and sleeping, etc. And was having vision problems. My neurologist had me go through a fast taper and now I'm blasted with headaches and head pains - the horrible shooting ones. I am clearer thinking off of it and I now realize how heavy my body was feeling on the med. But does anyone have any new information on beating the head pain? It's debilitating. Have you experienced an increase d/t rebound then a decrease in pain after tapering off topomax? I have been working in a very HIGH stress job as a head nurse. I'll be starting a new position in nursing administration - which I'm hoping will help because I won't be juggling so many situations and it comes with a little raise so that will relieve some economic stress. Here's the deal - I'm NOT superwoman, I'm one of you - someone trying to get through life after a SAH and in spite of my gratitude to be alive, some of it sucks. If any of you have any suggestions (I recognize no endorsements) about ways to relieve the pain, I'd sure appreciate it. And maybe how you cope with stress - I'm thinking there is a direct correlation. Thanks guys.
  3. I was afraid to see if anyone replied to my guilt-riddled (the cigs) and whinyness (for sure that's not a word). I'm so glad I finally did. You all have given me hope and guidance. Since I wrote a couple of weeks ago I've continued my regression in recovery. The headaches have continued to get worse - to the point of a visit to the ER. CT shows everything is fine. The depression and fatigue also continue to get worse. But, I have an appointment with a new neurologist. I live in a very small city and was flown by ambulance to Albuquerque, NM when I had the bleed. I can't make that 3 hour drive on my own so I am seeing one of the 3 neurologists in town. Hopefully he can guide me on the meds. I'm a nurse and visited with one of the physicians I work with. He is a little concerned about possible interactions between the cymbalta, lyrica, and amitriptyline. I missed most of this work week d/t headache, head pains, nausea, and intestinal problems. And insomnia - which is a killer. I definitely have to get at least 8 hours of sleep or I really feel it the next day. I am in therapy - I continued to meet with the counselor after my husband dropped out of working on our marriage. She is helpful. I joined an online smoking cessation program - I know those have to go. I will talk with the doc about starting some kind of physical rehab - even if it's just walking. I am weaning off the chocolate too. I plan to get back on here more often. When I was first recovering, I really enjoyed it. Like I said, I thought I was special and didn't need any support. WRONG. Thanks folks.
  4. Hi.. Haven't connected in awhile. Had myself convinced I'm different and my NASAH had no lasting affects on my life. But geez, at 8 months out, I still feel cruddy. I get the headaches - and being a tough nurse - I minimize their effect. Today was especially bad - hence my being especially whiney. I keep reading that these types of bleeds "usually" have no long lasting neurological effects, but I swear the headaches are getting worse as is the depression. And now I've taken to living on chocolate - which can't be good. And I've separated from my husband (we were in marriage counseling before the bleed and when it happened he just sort of disengaged) so the stress is high. I also picked up a cigarette 3 months ago - I think to get back at him - and now I'm re-addicted to smoking. Please - somebody tell me what to do to help decrease the headaches, the depression, the forgetfullness (I swear, I can't remember a patient note I wrote 3 hours earlier). I'm back at work fulltime and trying to tough it out but I'm ready to throw up my hands. Of course, now being the sole homeowner, I need all the hours I can get. I need an encouraging word. I take a nap everyday during my lunch hour - which seems pathetic. Is there a cue as to when I can start some physical exercise? I'm on 100mg of Amytriptyline (spelled that wrong, I'm sure) and Ativan to sleep. Lyrica for nerve pain. Cymbalta for depression...is this how it's going to be from now on? Pill after pill after pill? I'm grateful that I'm a walkie talkie, but it's all finally getting to me. How do you cope??? Thanks, Shellie
  5. The doctor manuevering is complicated, isn't it? Thanks, tho, I feel much better knowing: a.) I'm cured and b.) I could die next month but so could everyone else! Shellie
  6. Again, it just helps knowing I'm not alone! I'm VERY new in my recovering (just over 6 weeks). I went to work today - I kinda' forced my doctors to sign off on max 2 hrs and only lite duty (I'm a nurse). Have to say, it sure felt good being out of the house and somewhat productive, but it does drive me crazy how get this (false) hope that I'm miraculously cured because I feel decent then...boom- another headache or vertigo or extreme fatigue. But, I can come here and see that others who are much farther along experience the same or similar symptoms. Helps me to remember to patient and gentle with myself. Cathmat...have you read the letter from your brain postd here? While it didbn't give me answers, it did help me feel, well, grateful. Good luck (again) Shellie
  7. Oh, I so do these very same things! I'm just 6 weeks out from my NASAH (love the acronym) and everyday I wonder, why? And, more often, will it happen again? I saw my PCP/GP today and she gave me some literature on PTSD. One symptom is obsessing about the traumatic event. If you haven't already done so, you might look into ways to handle PTSD symptoms. I'm going to a guided meditation class this week - I will see if that helps. Something will have to relieve all the questions and fears in my head! Good luck. Shellie
  8. I had my SAH July 8 of this year. I live in Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA. We've had I don't know how many days over 100° this summer.. record breaking. Since the bleed, these hot days really affect me. Head becomes more painful and sensative, I get very queasy, and oh so tired. We have a very dry climate and that's bad enough. I used to love our local hot springs or taking a whirlpool...this is even worse! Shellie
  9. Thank you all for your support. This bleed has been the most world flipping thing that's ever happened to me. I've always been very stoic and handle things on my own. It's almost as if not only is it difficult for me to ask for help, I don't even know when I need help. I hear "listen to your body"...its been so long since I've done that, I don't even recognize its language anymore! Mary B...I haven't spoken with my doctors yet about the insomnia and depression, but I have an appointment with my GP next week and plan to do so then. Thanks again everyone, Shellie
  10. Hi. I had a NA SAH July 8. The doctors are thrilled at my recovery. I've stayed away from these boards for a few days because I thought maybe I didn't need to connect or because I thought I 'm not as ill as others. I don't really know. I do know that I am now an emotional basketcase....crying almost all the time, arguing with my husband and especially my daughter who has been a God-send thru this ordeal. Sometimes I think I'm lying to myself and everyone else about how well I'm doing. I'm scheduled to start back to work next Wednesday with 2 hours a day to start (I'm a nurse) and progress my time up from there back to full-time 11 hr shifts. I don't sleep well at night at all and wonder if this adds to how emotional I am. The headaches are better but the crying is definitely a trigger. I'm not sure what I'm asking here...maybe I just want reassurance that it will get better. Thanks for letting me vent, Shellie
  11. I needed to see this milestone...happy anniversary! Shellie
  12. I'm a "newbie" too and I'm right with you Maria...these discussion boards have helped so much already. Not only with good information but with hope as well. Take care, Shellie
  13. I am so glad I found you guys! I have exactly these experiences and I was thinking its all my imagination. The weird, loopy, drunk thing got me this afternoon....I ran into and old acquaintance who asked me how I am. I looked like death warmed over (its only been 4 weeks and I just wanted to get out of the house so I hadn't really "spiffed up." Next thing I know, I'm telling her all about the SAH and how I'm going to eat healthy from now on - where did that come from?? I must have sounded nuts! Ah well.
  14. I had a NA SAH 4 weeks ago yesterday. My doctors are thrilled with how well I am doing...of course I want to be perfectly well now! One of the things really getting me are the headaches and head pain. I read that hydration helps so I'm drinking tons of water. And I'm taking fioricet or tylenol 3 as ordered. Does anyone have any other suggestions? Foods to avoid? Supplements? Exercise - do's or don'ts? My docs say these should decrease over the next 3 months - sound correct? Not only is the pain horrible, I am perpetually scared it's another hemorrhage. Which leads to....is this depression "normal"? Does it go away? Sure is nice to find you all. My family doesn't exactly understand how I'm feeling. Thanks, Shellie
  15. Hello. My name is Shellie. I suffered a nonaneurysmal SAH on July 8. Was actually having a great day when, boom..."the worst headache of my life (which doesn't come close to describing it)" hit. Ambulance to the hospital, air ambulance to bigger hospital and in to the neurosciences ICU. They found no aneurysm or A/V malformation....just alot of blood. I am home now and don't know how to cope. Sometimes I feel pretty good, other times I get horrible head pain and/or dizziness and/or get super tired...or even just general blah feeling. And depressed! And scared...all the time. I found this site...I'm hoping it will help. I notice most everyone is from Europe...do you have room for a yank from New Mexico, USA?
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