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Everything posted by ADTARIQ


    The Event

    March 2012 - I got off of the massage table at the spa and when I stood up, my head began to throb and I felt excruciating pain I have never before felt. The word headache does not do the pain any justice at all. I got hot and then began to sweat. I made it to my car, started home and then felt and heard a POP in the back of my neck that felt like someone suddenly hit me with their fist. I managed to drive 7 miles home, my husband rushed me to the hospital where I finally passed out. I was determined to stay awake until I got to the hospital because I was afraid I would not wake up again.
  2. While on the freeway driving home after working out in the morning, enjoying my birthday spa massage gift at noon and looking forward to my birthday dinner (which was planned for that evening), I felt a "pop" in the back of my head near my neck. My vision went crazy and my head felt like it was about to explode. Fortunately, I was able to slowly keep driving, make it the rest of the way home about 7 miles and have my husband get me to the hospital. From there, I don't remember much until I woke up in NICU at the local hospital about 36 hours later hooked up to many machines and surrounded by loved ones who had been told I may not make it, and if I did that I would likely not ever be the same. I spent 11 days in NICU and was given the best care by their wonderful, talented staff. After that, it was home for a year long recovery and 18 months medicine for pain. During that time, I endured CT scans, MRI's and a terrifying pan-cerebral angiogram. I also spent time with a therapist with whom I could talk freely about what happened to me and what I was feeling as a result. Three years later, here I am ... alive, healthy and knowing that I am blessed and highly favored. God is good ... All the time!!! "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct thy paths".
  3. Welcome Jillian, You will find much love and support here on this site. It really helped me. Take time to heal and get better. That is what is most important. I wish you all the best.
  4. Welcome Julie. You will get better. Our circumstances are very similar. It has been 18 months for me and I am feeling very well. It is traumatic, shocking and scary ... even more so when you leave the hospital and come home. For me, I remember feeling as if I was watching someone else's life unfold, not mine. And my family was just happy that I was alive and did not want to talk about it. One I found this site I realized that I was not alone. Take it easy, rest a lot as that is very important to a full recovery. This too shall pass.
  5. I still get headaches but I try to roll with it. I am still taking neurontin but in small doses to wean off of it. Sometimes it gets me down a little, but I remember how it could be so worse. I also know that I get mentally fatigued more easily than before so I try to recognize that and prevent it from happening.
  6. I had my SAH one year ago on March 2nd. I am blessed that I have fully recovered, am back to my normal routine including back at work. It took me about 6 months to begin to feel really normal again to some degree. I think I tire more easily and I still get headaches. I am due for a one year follow-up CT scan within the next few weeks. My quick action, my husband's and the excellent neurosurgeon and hospital trauma center that I went to all factored into that recovery. I wish you all the best as well.
  7. Thank you for your response. I agree completely with what you wrote. I actually have a hard time telling anyone that I don't feel good, or I am not having a good day because I don't feel like I have the right to complain about it since at least I am alive. Also, whenever I get ready to say I have a headache, I stop myself because of the reactions of my friends, family and co-workers. They get terrified when I say that I have a headache so I usually keep that to myself. I have good and bad days. I am happy now to have people that understand to talk to.
  8. Jen, I have to add, I was a Christian and pretty spiritual but not devout before my SAH. As soon as I was in hospital having scans and then finding out what was wrong, I just started praying. I said the Lord's Prayer, Hail Mary and anything I could think of, but especially the phrase "if you believe, what are you afraid of?". And I say hand on heart that I was the calmest I have ever been in my life! My brain surgeon even said to me once "someone up there loves you" because I had such a bad bleed I think she was not sure of my outcome. Sorry to waffle, but I have to say, just look at us "oldies" on here and see how everyone is getting on and there's no way you will feel anything but positive and uplifted! See ya Thank you for your response! My first words when I felt the "pop" were "Jesus, help me". I said that all the way home, all the way to the hospital and even in my semi-conscious state. My mother later told me that I said that over and over all day but I have no memory of it at all. The doctors and all the nurses all called me the Miracle Lady. When I complained of back pain, my neurosurgeon told me, "Young lady, you were just at death's door. Don't worry about a bit of back pain. Everyone has back pain". That is when I realized just how serious it was. Although I had been completely calm during the ordeal, almost in a surreal state up to then, I soon after became frightened but not for myself, for my husband, son, daughter, sister and mother. I thought it's not over and what if I don't make it. They will be devastated. I have a completely different outlook now on life. I tell everyone, "I'm just happy to be here" when they ask me how I am! Like you wrote, I believe and I am no longer afraid. I believe and I believe that the bright, warm, serene foggy feeling that I still remember to this day while I was unconscious was me being watched over by angels while my body healed.
  9. Thanks for your response. Counseling helped some but not much. I think that I needed to talk to people like me, not to a counselor. You are right, my husband was cool calm and collected when he drove me to the hospital but he still beats himself up for not acting immediately. When I got home, I knew something was wrong and I would not go in the house because I had the feeling that if I went inside, I would not make it out. He told me come in and lay down for a while. I told him no I need to go to the hospital now. Once I started to vomit, he knew something was really wrong and took me. We only live a few miles away so we got there faster than if we had waited for an ambulance. They took me back immediately as they could tell from the symptoms I described that it was critical. I still credit him for saving my life but he often says that if I had laid down like he suggested, I may not be here now. That is why it is so important for folks to know the symptoms and react immediately.
  10. The day started out just as any other day. It was the Friday after my birthday. My husband and I both took the day off from work to celebrate all day. I got up, walked 4 miles, showered and went to my massage appointment at the spa. When I got up from the massage table, my head started to throb and then it felt as if it was going to explode. I spent a few extra minutes in the room before I came out, went to the counter paid for the services and went to my car. I called my husband to tell him I was on the way home and he said he had prepared a light lunch since later that evening we had dinner plans for celebration with 10 friends at a fine Italian restaurant. While on the highway driving home and talking to my girlfriend about the evening plans, I felt a "pop" in the back of my head near my neck. My vision went crazy and my head felt like it was about to explode. I thought first to pull over to the side of the road, but then I was afraid that I would pass out and die on the side of the road. Fortunately, I was able to slowly keep driving, and made it home. I pulled into the garage and blew the horn. By this time I was sweating profusely, dizzy and seeing a spectrum of colors. My husband came into the garage and I told him to come to the car and take me to the hospital. He asked what was wrong. I told him that something is horribly, horribly wrong and that I needed to go to the hospital right away. Then I began to vomit. He laid me down in the backseat and drove me the 3 miles to the nearest hospital/trauma center. From there, I don't remember much. I woke up in NICU about 36 hours later hooked up to many machines and surrounded by loved ones who had been told I may not make it, and if I did that I would likely not ever be the same. I spent a week in NICU and then 5 days in a step-down unit. I had the full range of diagnostic treatments during this time (CT's MRI, MRA's, transcranial doppler, etc...) and they could find no evidence of an aneurysm or blockage. They told me that whatever it was obliterated when it ruptured. Just to be on the safe side, I had a pan cerebral angiogram performed a few weeks later which came out great and showed no blockages. At this point, my doctor told me to move on and live my life. I am trying to do just that. I have had come counseling for post-traumatic stress. Also, I have had residual back pain which I have been told is the result of the blood where only spinal fluid should be. All in all, I would say that I all things considered, I am healthy and I am looking forward to having my birthday on March 1st and my new birthday, March 2nd which is my re-birthday since it is the day my life was saved. Although I have never been an overly religious person, I have become very fond of the bible verse "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct thy paths". It speaks to the fact that we often don't know why something happened, or what caused it but faith and hope can help bring you through it. I have felt like talking about this for a very long time but did not know of a venue to do so. My family was so happy for the ordeal to be over, they did not want to talk about it. They were just happy I was alive and well. I cannot blame them for that because I know it was hard what they went through. When I woke up, it took a while for me to understand the magnitude of what had happened to me and the road that I would have to travel to get better. Nine months later I am still finding my way back from this ordeal but happy to be here!
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