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Hi, I just wanted to briefly say where I am 1 1/2 yrs out. What made me think of it is, I spoke with nurses who have known and worked with me forever and this is what THEY see. Firstly, i am happy and doing great. I am working almost full time.But again, it is best to let Others tell you how you are, because like most men, I am in some denial and want to push forward. Here goes: 1)I am more laid back about life. This has been the best gift of this thing. I fly and visit family, play golf, run, and dont work so hard. My ICU doc told me all young people he sees with this are uptight workaholics and that was me. I was kind of a miserable workaholic before and not now. YEAH!!! Thank you!!! 2)I cannot learn some things. I read a lot and am learning spanish. Why???? Bcz i am trying to prove I can do it. But the other night, i went to a salsa class and just could NOT learn it. 4 steps, could not do 4 steps. I can learn on my own (ie:learning spanish) but if someone verbally shows me, i can not learn it. simple things.Frustrating. 3)this is funny, but i put things in particular places and they MUST be there or I get angry. This is all after the bleed. I had a rentacar the other day. And immediately after getting in, I rearrange everything to where it "lives" in my home car. Things must live in their place!!!I have some fear of losing things. My mind cannot remember where i put it. So i always put it one place only. When parking the car I always park in same spot. Each place i go has one spot. Or else i will never find the car. 4)I am more adhd now. So say my coworkers. "we have to keep you on track" they say. 5)my emotions go up and down. This is a tough one, because I do stupid things and people blame me. I think the emotion center of my brain was damaged. This causes me trouble because noone wants a doctor with emotion issues, right?? 6)I meet people, then remeet them. Funny. 7)I repeat myself a lot. This annoys people. They tell me all the time. "you already told me that". I get that a lot. (just reading this post, i noticed i have repeated the "learning spanish" thing 4 x already, jeeeeesh!) 8)My short term memory is TERRIBLE. What were we talking about??? Just kidding. But seriously, if i am in a restaurant and get up to grab a fork, half way there I have no idea what I went there for. So I say to myself "fork,fork , fork, fork" and then the person near me says "what did you say??" And i say "fork". And they say "why are you saying fork?" It is daily comedy in my life. 9)I have eliminated toxic people from my life. Another gift of this experience. I used to be polite to them out of politeness. No longer. They have been deleted. I also remember , very clearly, who came out of the woodwork to help me through this crazy ordeal, and I remember very clearly who abandoned me and pretty much left me to die. My deficits are comical to me. They show something of how the mind works. I can memorize the past preterite tense of spanish of an irregular verb, BUT cannot remember where the car is! I have strengthened my relationship God thru this ordeal and thank Him every day for my recovery and new life!! I am probably more glad that im not paralyzed then dead. I was very lucky to be alive, not paralyzed, back to work. So you will never hear me complain about my deficits. To me, they are comedy. I thank God every day for my new life!
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