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Advice on mothers SAH


Guest cpohagan

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Guest cpohagan

Hi all

Our story starts on late august 09 when my mother suffered SAH before my very eyes:shocked::shocked: not a sight for anybody, this was followed up by a stroke in the ambulance going to the royal Vic in Belfast were she received an emergency op to remove the SAH and was 100% successful and moved to ICU within hours of the op. the surgeon sat myself and my sisters down to explain that there was another aneurysm on the right side and this couldn't be dealt with as she was to ill at the time and remained unconscious for three weeks..after she was moved to neuro ward and kept there for 3 weeks and again moved to a rehabilitation unit for a further 7 long weeks. today im pleased to say i have got mum home and apart from the understandable stress of leaving the hospital she has done really well today and im proud of her for that... so 13 weeks the long term affects seem to be speech ie..cant find the words and i find this really frustrates her and as a direct result crys and loses he thoughts i don't want to patronize her (this is how i feel) so my question is what is the best way to approach this situation without making it worse for mum? chris

Edited by cpohagan
grammar.. not my best point
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Hi my wife had an sah 2 annis one clipped one coiled, she too had trouble finding her words, short term memory poor, mobility not good, and few other probs, a month later she had a shunt fitted, and throughout that remained fairly good in her moods, she had times when she had a little cry and still do (8 months on) but i found to just be there for her listen to her make sure she gets plenty of sleep (lay downs during the day) as you will find as you go on that this illness is very much governed by fatigue,the tireder she gets the worse she will be, sleep so i've been told is healing time,Merrill my wife still when tired hangs on to her words sometimes and when tired her mobility is so much worse she has good days and bad days and thats about par for the course i'm afraid, When Merrill was first ill i wanted to make things better for her so i know how you feel, i was told by the rehab clinic there is nothing you can do to hurry things along, she must'nt think by pushing herself that she can speed things up, there's a course to run and no one knows how long it is, so just be there for her listen and try to understand what she's going through although this is not always a logical illness, it 's a long path but she will get there i'm sure Good luck with her recovery Rod

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hi chris

its been a one heck of a rolloer coaster ride and im pleased mum is back home and surrounded by things she knows and loves as rod has said its early days just yet but if mum has full movement and does make sense and is coherent i would like to offer two possible choices to see if it helps mum

firstly if mum has movement and coherent instead of asking to to talk and if she gets stuck on a word get a white board that she can write the word on then you can rub it out when finished so she can write another when she gets stuck so to speak or an magnetic word board with words already made up secondly is mum not getting any speech therapy from the hospital either at home or being taken into a day centre for phyiso and speech therapy to which she should be getting as a matter of course sometimes it does take time for the speech pathways to reconnect and for the library to reconnect so mum can access the words she needs it will take time please try not to get frustrated because you have both gone through the mill take one day at a time mum will sleep a lot its normal and so are the tears of frustration for both of you iwill check up to see if anything else can be done but phyiso and speech therapy is paramount from the hospital chris you havent said how old mum is wishing you both well

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Hi Chris :-D A very warm welcome to you.... Rod and Paul have said it all, it is early days for your Mum, she is doing very well bless her.....i still have that problem now when i get tired at very nearly 2 years. Cant add alot to all the great advice they have given you....apart from say that we are always here to support you.....look forward to hearing more from you....take care...wishing you both well. Love Tina xx

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Hi Chris

Firstly can I say glad to hear your mother is home and doing well.

I remember the early months well. I remember the wrong words coming out,or I couldn't find the word at all! I couldn't get the word aneurysm out - I always said paramedic! It all gets better in time, time is our best friend. The wrong words coming out no longer happens but I can still have difficulty getting the word out. It's like your brain is surrounded with fog. We can now laugh about it, it's a bit of game in our house - guess the word mum's trying to say! But it has taken us all time to adjust and to get to this stage. I can still see the pain/fear in my children and husband's faces. There is a booklet with information on recovery on www.brainandspine.org.uk, this will help your mum and your family.

This is a wonderful site with wonderful people. I would suggest that you read through as much as you can. Tell your mum that you've found this and tell her about what you've read. Let her know that there are people out here who have gone through the same and that she's not alone. I was quite a bit into my recovery before I found BHTG, but what I can say is that since then, I have become more confident. I got strength from reading about people who are way further down the line than me but who have gone through the same physical symptoms as well as the phsycological effects.

You're already helping her by searching for information, well done you. The more information you have the more you will understand this.

Liz x

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Hi Chris

So glad you have your mum home now. I can't really add much to what has already been said except try to make sure your mum gets plenty of fluids and rest. In the first few months even the simplest tasks can bring on the dreaded fatigue. Look forward to hearing how your mum gets on.

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Hey Chris

So glad that you decided to post.

The good news is that your mum is home. Just be patient with her, reassure her that it's OK and she's still recovering. Have you tried helping her with the words she looks for - by saying them. It may seem patronising but it may also stop the frustration of her searching for a word and then getting upset cos she can't find it. The early stages of recovery are the hardest and the most emotional, just reasssure her that it will get easier as time goes on.

How old is your mother and how old are you? Told you that we were a nosey bunch too didn't I (I sent Chris a PM by the way to encourage posting - just incase you were all wondering).

Read your mum some of the posts from here if you can - its always reassuring and comforting knowing you're not the only one.

Take care and hugs to your mum

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest cpohagan

Hi all

Thanks to everybody for your kind words...firstly sorry for not getting back to you peeps before but I've been researching intensely on mum and her needs.. Its time for a more accurate description of the situation. mum has very little mobility on the right-side but is able to walk now with my assistance with a walking stick and a splint on the foot but just a few small steps really requires enormous effort but its all worth it in the end:biggrin:. her cohearance isn't good as she has aphasia and this is the biggest barrier we face im using alot of percepstion to figure out what she needs in the bad days but the good days the speech is alot better and also improving slowly. a stroke team is here three times a week physio ,speech therapist ,and OT's also and this team are 100% brill they are teaching us both and leaving lots of homework for us both with the speech walking etc... the work that these peeps achieve is incredable in the small time she has been home its all up hill barr the odd bad day but as you all stated its the good with the bad.. the power napps are essential and it gives me time to get the day 2day stuff done.. i have now got myself into a routine but its tough going but no complaints...

ps.. skippy mum is 60 and im 33

Edited by cpohagan
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Hi Chris

Its great that the OT and others are leaving you homework - it all goes towards recovery. Your mum sounds like she's doing well despite all the difficulty she's having. Little steps in the early days can lead to giant leaps later on.

Stay positive and give her lots of encouragement. The resting up regularly will do her good too - the brain then has time to absorb the information as well as resting.

Wishing you a happy christmas and hoping that 2010 brings all yours and your mums hard work lots of rewards.

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Hi glad to hear your mothers doing well, and you sound as though you're coping very well, and things sound as though they are improving by the day, so thats good, it is a slow old road to travel, it's now 9 months since my wifes sah and 8 months since having the shunt fitted, at times i think we don't seem to move forward anymore but when i think back to how she was 8 months ago she has done really well, and although the progress seem slow at times you have to look a little deeper sometimes for the progress it might just be memory slightly better or her walking is better today and i always think that the good days shows what is achievable, A merry christmas to you both and good luck on her continued recovery. Rod

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hi chris

sorry im late as ive been with lin you and mum are doing ok little steps normally one forwards and two backwards the team you have sounds good you need to ask them what you can do once they step back which i hope wont be for a long time the one thing you need to do is have some me time otherwise you will burn out so if you can take a step out for a couple of hours is there anyone else who can help you care for mum whilst you step out the splint is i presume to stop the toe drop im really pleased to read someone is recovering slowly but surely chris just be careful please give mum my regards have a beautiful Christmas and well done you

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Guest cpohagan

Thanks guys and gals

for all your kind words its good to hear from peeps that have hindsight. so thanks again and have a very merry christmas and an improving new year:-D:-D:-D:-D

Chris

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