JayKay Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Keep smiling Zoe! At least Rich will be home for Christmas, eh? I remember the first year of my mum's stroke and we all had Christmas together because we found a gîte (in France where she lives) that had disabled access and bathroom. It was so wonderful - and she's living independently again now, so you see, things DO get better. Do get help with any forms you do and don't take it personally if they are refused first time (although I would hope they wouldn't be!!) - it's a struggle a lot of us are facing. Take care!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 (edited) Hi Zoe so pleased Rich will be home over Christmas . Glad you bumped into John and Julie and had a chat ...Take care Zoe ...love Tina xx Hope the future will bring all you hope for xx Edited November 28, 2010 by Tina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winter Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 Good to hear from you. Hope all goes well and you get the stairs and lift all sorted out. Sounds like a big job! Wishing you well and keeping you all in my thoughts Hugs, Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoe1zoe1zoe1 Posted December 16, 2010 Author Share Posted December 16, 2010 Hi all, Sorry not updated for a while - been a manic few weeks and just taken a bit of a step back from things. Rich hasn't been getting as much physio as he was. think this is because they feel they have come as far as they can with him. Unfortunately, I think this has resulted in his walking deteriorating - the strength in his leg isn't what it was a few weeks ago. Deep down I think this is a ploy by the hospital. They want us to send him to another rehab centre in Wolverhampton but we have refused as we feel Rich would be better at home but the professionals aren't entirely happy with our decision. His doctor has asked to see me on Monday as I think she wants to try to talk me round but if you could meet Rich and see how desperate he is to get home I think you would agree with my views. We have a meeting on Tuesday with Mr Shaw his surgeon to get his latest MRI results and to give a decision on whether Rich wants the remaining aneurisms coiling. One day Rich says yes, the next he says no - just not sure at all what his decision will be. On a good note, had a letter to say we qualify for the higher levels of mobility and care payments for Disability Living Allowance although we can't get it until he is home. Well, not much more to add. Will update again next week. Zoe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Mario Posted December 16, 2010 Share Posted December 16, 2010 Now Richard has HRC of DLA someone could claim Carers Allowance but the criteria has to be met by the claiment. http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/caringforsomeone/moneymatters/dg_10012522 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Hi Zoe that rehab place in wolverhampton is ok it is right opposite west park we used to live a few doors down from it. Try not to worry I am sure they will do what is best for Richard. Jess.xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 hi zoe please think carefully about having Richard home and not have a further session of rehab yes i do understand that Richard wants to come home and that he is fed up with hospitals im going to be the devils advocate here could it be that Richard is bored with the rehab he is in at the moment and is the rehab not pushing him further than they could as you have said his walking has gone down compared with what it was he maybe only be going to the other rehab for a shorter length of time but have a different type of rehab if so it might be that he gets more benefit from it because when he comes home the rehab he needs will be either non exsistant or very limited then where would he be as such i hope Richard does make the right choice because its going to be hard on you and the family sweetheart all i can do is support you as much a anyone else and i can only hope Richard gets all the support from the system and everyone else and that the door is not closed on him take care sweetheart hugs and cuddles to you both Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoe1zoe1zoe1 Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 Hi all, Rich and myself met with his surgeon yesterday and got the news we didn't really want - the coil in the aneurism has moved and is leaking blood back in. Rich now has to have an angiogram in the next few weeks to get a clearer picture but it looks like he now has this one to be re-coiled, the large one on the other side to be coiled and the small one to be potentially coiled but they're not sure about this one until the angi so could have to be clipped. We always new this coil may move as when he had the initial operation and they were doing the coiling procedure they had to complete it quickly as they had to urgently remove some of his skull due to the blood clot risking his life but we always hoped it would be OK. Rich has however agreed to the surgery so scary times ahead. With this next procedure there is the risk (as woith every operation) of things going wrong which could potentially take out his right hand side which obviously would be a problem for him as he has a partially paralysed left hand side but I suppose thats the chance you take compared with leaving the aneurisms and risking worse things if they did go. Anyway, plan is still for rich to come home xmas eve until next tuesday and then he is coming home again the 30th for good. His official discharge is 13th Jan but met with his doctor on Monday who has said that if things don't work out over this period he doesn't have to be dischaged on this date and can be re-admitted so there is a back up if we have problems. Overall, I feel quite relaxed about him coming home. Realising that there is still a lot of the old rich there and yes he can be a pig to me at times and I don't want to keep blaming it on his problems but I do have to remember that he has undergone a major illness which resulted in damage to his brain and a part of his brain being killed off and that not only did I not ask for this to happen but neither did he and that his life has been turned upside down a lot more than mine and that I still love him and we will just have to adapt to our new life. Well after that rather long final sentence I must go and get little uns up and get ready for work. Take care Zoe xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Hi Zoe So very sorry to hear that Rich has to have further surgery - I have everything crossed that all goes well. You're a remarkable woman Zoe, having gone through an SAH I know it's not easy from Rich's point of view but I also know that it's not been easy on you. My husband has the patience of a saint, but even now 4 1/2 years later, I know that I can aggrevate the hell out of him but he knows that it's mostly due to the SAH and how it still sometimes gets me down - especially when I haven't got the stamina to work like I used to and I get frustrated with myself . Stay positive and remarkable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Hi Zoe...so sorry to hear about Richard needing more surgery ...but agree with Sami keep doing what you are doing ! Hoping all goes well for Richard....take care both, love Tina xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kempse Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Hi Zoe, Sorry to hear that Richard's coiling has moved and that he has to have more surgery to treat that and the other aneurysms. You have both had to endure such a lot this year, but I am glad that he will be home over Christmas and I hope you have an enjoyable few days together with the kids. Sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKay Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 I'm sorry to hear of the latest development - what a lot you guys have to put up with. I'll be thinking of you and hoping it all goes well when he comes home! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johntaras Posted December 29, 2010 Share Posted December 29, 2010 Hi Zoe and Richard, sorry about the news of Richards coils. You said that you were worried he may have to have more surgery. Its positive that he is coming home. I hope the upcoming operation goes well and that Rich continues to progress. He has shown tremendous courage todate, as have you. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz D Posted December 29, 2010 Share Posted December 29, 2010 Hi Zoe I have to agree with Skippy, you are an amazing woman and Richard is such a lucky man to have you! I hope you have a had a great Christmas and good luck to Richard for his surgery. Remember to try and take some time out for yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoe1zoe1zoe1 Posted January 9, 2011 Author Share Posted January 9, 2011 Hi all, Richard has now been home 11 days and things are going really well. Carers have been coming in and thats going well and he went to Headway on Friday and seemed to really enjoy it. I do find myself getting a bit short tempered with him as we will get all ready to go out, get through the door and he will say he needs the loo. This gets me annoyed but then I have to remember he isn't doing it on purpose. Felt he was getting a bit lazy as I would put his left shoe on him and he would automatically put his right foot out for me but then I realised he could do that shoe himself so now started to make him do a bit more. He is really pushing on with his walking. My parents live four doors away so when we go to collect kids from school he walks from our house to theirs and we use the wheelchair the rest of the way. The school is only just down the road so I said to rich if each week or two he extends the walk by a house we may soon have him walking to school. One day last week he made us a sausage casserole and mashed potato for tea which I think for him was brilliant progress. I had to peel veg but he did chopping and mashing - and it tasted delicious. As for our relationship, not really sure how that is going. Probably too much information but things are taking a lot longer for him in the bedroom department so things haven't been that successful. I am also already starting to feel like his 'carer' so am seeing him in a different light. We'll see how that all progresses. Overall though, things not too bad. Going back to stoke on thursday for his official discharge so he is looking forward to that. Just waiting for angio appointment and stairlift will be 5 weeks so thiungs moving slowly. Take care, Zoe. xx:-D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz D Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Hi Zoe Richard's doing doing really well and your giving him great encouragement. Great idea about extending the walk by a house each day. I was too frightened to leave the house for weeks after my SAH but that's how I did things. I started with just standing on the patio for a few minutes, then walking to the end of the road (which is 4 houses!)until eventually I could walk to the the local Co-op, which is at the bottom of the hill (a steephill!) and walk back home. I felt that my husband was my carer for months (and my SAH was no where near as severe as Richard's). I was very weak when I came out of hospital and it took me 3 weeks to just be able to stand up in the shower! For about 3 months he had to come home from work at lunchtime to make me my lunch. He was doing all the housework, shopping and cooking. He's a senior civil servant with a very time consuming job so he got quite exhausted. We had some difficulties because of this. He would talk about when I get back to "normal" and this really annoyed me because I knew that person was gone! So when I was stronger we had some couple counselling, which helped him come to terms with the changes in me. This was about 8 or 9 months post SAH. But now things are better than they've ever been and we have an even deeper understanding of each other. Richard seems to be very motivated and I'm very impressed with him being able to cook most of the dinner, well done Richard. You've had a tough time Zoe but this post is very positive. I'll say it again, Richard is a very lucky man having you fighting his corner! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 zoe that is such good news and may it continue some happy news as for the bedroom stuff take one day at a time sweetheart things will happen in there own time take care and enjoy the meals he does for you hugs and cuddles sweetheart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KelBel Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Hi Zoe You are so amazing! It is great that things are going really well and Richard is making such progress with his walking! I hope his recovery continues for all of you to enjoy, Take care Kel x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Hi Zoe, That's positive news and hope that you're managing to get a bit of "you" time as well, if it's possible! xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Hi Zoe So pleased for you both. You are such a wonderful lady and with your love and support Richard can only keep improving Wishing you both well...take care love Tina xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoe1zoe1zoe1 Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 (edited) Hi all, Sorry not updated for a while but don't want to bore you all with our uneventful lives. Rich has now been home nearly a month and things are going really well. Both finding it very hard to adjust to how things are now and I find myself getting very impatient with him. He has carers four days a week which seems to be going great - they have him cooking tea most days which is nice not having to think about when I get in from work. He goes to Headway on a friday which he seems to enjoy - making a wooden aeroplane for Luke. Psychologist has started seeing him along with OT from the Shropshire Enablement Team. Waiting for physios to get in touch as rich hasn't had any for quite some time and it is beginning to show. Had plans today for the adaptations to the house so this will help greatly. Downstairs loo being fitted, shower upstairs (which Xara will lose a bit of her bedroom), a new platform and ramp outside and new wider doorway to the living room. Stairlift should now be about 3 weeks away - rich is dying to get upstairs. Still waiting for an appt for richards angiogram so no further forward with this. On the whole - life is peachy. Things seem positive but remember that he is still has the various health problems - paralysed arm, very weak leg, concentration and memory issues (how many times can one person ask what day it is). He is happy in himself but gets very down about the fact he cannot walk properly and use his left arm. It has been 10 months since his SAH and I must admit I am beginning to wonder if the arm will come back. Hoping that I can start getting rich using a computer and he can then come on this site. Take care everyone Zoe xx Edited January 27, 2011 by zoe1zoe1zoe1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 hi zoe thats fantastic news so far just hope everything carries on this way never give up on the arm things can always improve has the hospital thought of using a muscle stimulater its like a tens machine and place's electrical impulse's on the arm affected it stimulates muscle reaction maybe this could be helpful take care sweetheart and carry on the good work make sure you get some you time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Hi Zoe wonderful to read how well things are going would be great to get Richard on here. wishing you both well...take care love Tina xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KelBel Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Hi Zoe Glad to hear everything is going so well. Hope the physio starts up again soon to help Rich regain some more independence. Hope you are getting some time for yourself, so that you can rest up now and again. Kel x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) Hi Zoe Thats great news, & (how many times can one person ask what day it is) Oh hundreds ok that was me:roll: Edited January 27, 2011 by bogbrush Font colour as per forum rule No.7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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