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Some observations on life after SAH - By Neilhapgood


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I think that is such an individual thing.

I tell people I am a work in progress - acceptance is still in that stage as well.

I find I stare at people walking or riding their bikes, wishing I could still easily do those things. I also think it's sad that they probably don't appreciate their ability to do something so "simple".

It's kind of like a grieving process - we are all grieving our former lives and that takes time and is a very personal, individual process. Eventually there is a point of enjoying the "new normal". I just recently realized that every day I've had for the last 23 months is a day I shouldn't have been here so I should try to enjoy it good or bad. I still have very down moments (I had a really good cry yesterday) but this forum has helped me a lot. When I was sad yesterday I thought of Win telling people to have a chocolate and shop and it made me smile!

Kelly

Hi Kelly,

It is a very individual thing and I suppose it depends on how much each person has to try and slip back into their old life - such as going back to an old job where you cannot help but notice the impact.

Like some have said, not everything has been a negative experience. The love, commitment and understanding shown to me by family and friends has taken me by surprise. I wasn't expecting to be abandoned by them but their relentless support sometimes knocks me for six. On the not-so-good days, it really helps to remember that I'm loved despite my new and interesting characteristics post SAH: forgetfulness, bouts of bad language, fits of temper, episodes of fatigue and lack of patience with everyone including myself! As one friend's 4 year-old-child told her Mother earnestly at my bedside "Schh! Auntie Leo is sick in the head!" Makes me giggle to this day ...

Time for some ice-cream now. Food therapy!

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Every morning my 2 year old wakes up and asks "you still have owie in head?"

Yes, I tell her, but it's getting better every day.

She asks again when she comes home from childcare. It's become her check in ritual with me.

She used to tell the story about, "Mommy have owie, doctor come and take Mommy away to hospital" over and over again, many times a day. (she was here when it happened) That story only makes an appearance a couple of times a week now. Her way of dealing with the changes around here.

Not as funny a story as Leo's, but I do want to appreciate the candor of children. Many adults are so afraid to talk about what's bothering them, or what they're uncomfortable with...but leave it to a child to blurt it out.

Gotta love 'em!

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Liz &Karen

Thank you for the words of wisdom about comparing ourselves as we are now to what we were like when we left hospital (and not how we were before SAH). I think I have come such a long way, but simple (should be obvious phrases like that) open my eyes all over again. I think I'm getting there regarding accepting what happened but I am comparing how I am now with how I used to be & and clearly I still have a long way to go......

I'm going to try the comparison between going into hospital and coming home again instead.....(This may never be enough for me - I want what I had - but, here goes, everyone loves a tryer......)

M xx

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I too am trying to take these words of wisdom and compare the difference to how I was just after they fixed me,rather than trying to hold onto how I once was. I couldnt feed myself, wash myself etc, I know I've come a long way, but hey this journey is sure lonely at times.

SarahLou Xx

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