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Dawn, that's great news! What a relief for you. The pressure is off, you've got a more gradual phase in, and you get full pay.

 

Sarah, very interesting post about your sleep requirements. I remember when you used to post that you had slept all day and were afraid that this was it for life now. You are right that it's encouraging for us to see that after 3.5 years you don't need to do that anymore. It's different for everyone but its hopeful to see others make milestones in their recovery.

 

SarahLou, I wonder if it will always take us longer to recover from surgeries because our brains need so much of our energy post-SAH. I'm always concerned about catching even a cold! Anything small can knock us down so something major like surgery could have a big impact. Hopefully you will see a quick recovery.

 

David, I'm waiting for a decision from the insurance company once they've reviewed information from my doctor, psychologist, and rehab therapists. The recommendation at this time is to sort out my meds and then a few months volunteering and then begin a gradual return. I hope the insurance co agrees because I know I'm on the path to wellness but it's slow and if I return to work too soon a third time I'm afraid another failure would be devastating both health-wise and emotionally. Not very cost effective for the insurance co either!

 

I'm so happy to see everyone posting on this thread. Supporting each other through this challenge is so important. Makes it easier for us when we know we aren't alone.

Sandi K xoxoox

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Hi guys,

Dawn, that's great news, will take some pressure off. I did exactly the same, returned to work in October and had that years holiday entitlement to use, didn't realise I was eligible for holiday. It was good to be able to build up my phased return to work hours to my pre SAH hours.

When is your first day back? Good luck and keep us updated.

 

Sarah, yey! There is hope for us!! I don't often nap now but sometimes on my days off my brain and body does go into shutdown and sometimes I do sleep during the day.

 

Sandi, lovely to hear how you're doing, good to hear you're taking it slow. Your'll get there, when you're truely ready this time. I think you're right, having surgery or indeed even a cold, after SAH sure seems to take so much more time to recover.

 

Carl, your strength and determination inspire me. You're amazing and it's great that you haven't just given up.

 

Macca and David, you guys give me strength too. You fight this fight every day.

Think I'll go and rest now, I'm totally drained.

Take care,

SL Xx

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My reduced hours are keeping me wiped out.......instead of 7:30-5:00 Wed, Thur & Friday, 1/2 everyother Saturday and weekend treatment now I work Monday &:30 -5:00 but no Dr in afternoon so less brain cells are needed, off Tuesday, &:30 to Noon on Wednesday, off Thursday , 7:30 -5:00 all day appointment and every other Sat until noon plus weekend treatments. Last weekend treatment was 1 dog 1 pill twice daily love that!! Still however Monday I woke up dragging, same Tuesday. Today water heater flooded basement- don't even need to tell you about that mess and work......just got off work and scrubed floor with soap and bleach water........

 

Anyway I am finding I am only good until noon anyway I look at it. I am at 11 months now and still need to take it slow. I am working on being my organized as I lost that the past year and being organized really makes life so much easier. I do however do some shopping locally, and am trying to read and write more so I can get the kinks out of that. SO maybe my brain cells I thought I would have with less days in a row are used up reading and writing.......augh....& scrubbing basement floor.

Dawn go back as slow as possible is my advice. If you feel better sooner great!

MB

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Brilliant to read all the positive posts on here today!

Carl, David, Cath good luck to you all! Carl with keeping positive as the countdown continues. David & Cath with the increased hours. (Sorry Sarah Lou, I can't remember if you said you are increasing too?? If so good luck!!)

 

Sarah K, great to hear you feel like you have finally shrugged off the dreaded fatigue, that must be a FANTASTIC feeling :biggrin:

 

Dawn - I am really delighted to hear how well your meeting went - congratulations & good luck on the 22nd (?) August.

 

Sandi you have the experience of hindsight now to help you recognise when the time is right for you.

 

Mary - I really believe that your new hours will help once you have adjusted to them and got a routine going again.

 

Brilliant to hear how well everyone is getting on work-wise :biggrin:

Michelle xx

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Thanks for your comments Lil Ms Goldfish Girlie.

Yes, I'm increasing my hours as of 27th August.

What doesn't kill me will make me stronger!

 

I'm finding it hard to concentrate on this, my eyes keep wondering to the men doing athletics on the Olympics!!!

Hope all is well with you.

Take care,

Loopy Xx

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This thread is a lovely read today. :-P

 

I have been given regular hours at work for the next 3 months. Good... because the benefit people have messed up again, and my appeal forms have turned out to be the wrong ones. :mad2:

However, after only 3 days of working all day long ( well, 10 till 5 ) I am starting to feel like I'm really contributing to the family values again. :-P

 

Haven't actually received any pay for it yet, but the psychological effects are already starting to show for me. :-D I feel I am much more capable of being a productive member of the family again already. It's such a good feeling and I know you are on the verge of experiencing that too Dawn High five! :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

Let's all keep up the momentum here, go BTGers! :-P

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I have found that when I work I get such great satisfaction from the job I do and that I almost feel like normal again until about 10:00 am and I start sliding down the slope. I need to add routines back into my life with work and home – sounds simple enough but I am making sure my keys are always attached to handbag, phone is near the purse, list and schedules are made out along with my normal pattern at work as I am not use to having or too use to having someone already doing my morning routine of stocking and organizing my rooms. I am simplifying my life at home. I know this is like working a job as well but they are my daily brain processing lessons.

 

Cathmat- How are you doing with working in such a mentally demanding field and keeping your concentration level strong for that many hours? I feel I should work 8-12 noon only because by noon I am working with about 35-50% of my normal abilities. Do you get long breaks?

 

Dawn – What kind of work do you do again? I think you hit the lottery!!! I just reread your post and earlier I could not understand it. But now it sounds like the jackpot to me.

Not everyone naps???? Oh my! I actually do not nap as much as lay down now. If I am working I pass out practically!

 

SL- I think like I have said before any trauma, surgery, flu bug etc.. will knock us all back a few extra steps as we do not have the reserves & it is like having fibro. We have lost some of our “bounce”. 

Bounce is missing with spoons?

 

Sally – good for you, it is important to feel that you are helping in even a small way and it is good for our self esteem. Trying to spell “esteem” is good for my self “esteem”.

AUGH I hate words! Have a happy evening you all. Keep on trucking men!

maryb

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MaryB said:

Dawn – What kind of work do you do again? I think you hit the lottery!!! I just reread your post and earlier I could not understand it. But now it sounds like the jackpot to me.

Yes, it feels like that to me too! I'll let myself get fully excited about it when I've got in in writing :lol:

I am the Goods in Administrator for a white goods warehouse. We move Bosch, Neff, Siemens and Gaggenau. I'd never heard of Gaggenau before I started work there, it's this metal industrial looking stuff that's really ugly and well beyond my price range. We once provided a kitchen for Posh and Becks with it, so you can guess the kind of price range.

 

Although I am based in one warehouse, I'm responsible for the Milton Keynes one too. Sounds a bit more high-flying than it really is, it's a very low-level administration job. I did the same role in my last job and I was paid vastly more for it. Unfortunately we were all made redundant. I had never quite gotten used to the large drop in wages, but a year on benefits has sorted that out! MK only have CP products (kettles, toaster, irons) and we have all the white goods, MK have about 4 loads per day and we have about 45.

 

I deal with all the hauliers for both road freight and container freight and it's my responsibility to get the containers off the port before the charges start incurring. Each port has it's own free period and each country sends their containers to different ports. I also deal with all the damage claims. Bored yet?

It is a bit boring (repetitive) and very, very sedentary. It's also a very multi-tasking type of role and in a noisy office. I was told yesterday that although there is a quiet office upstairs, I can't have it.

 

There's no surprise there at all, I was fully expecting to be told that. I will try it out and see how I go. I have Andy's full backing so that makes a huge difference. Someone earlier mentioned how nice it is to contribute to the household, but I can't rememeber who it was. I feel like that already because I know that I'm starting back on full pay instead of it being months and months before I get a full wage. It's really something to look forward to and most of my fears about going back have been wiped out by the thought that Andy won't have to work all these 12 days anymore :biggrin:

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So this is my second week of new hours. The water heater flooding the basement has justed (USED- see I am constantly using the wrong words) all my spoons for next month I think. I still have not gotten into the swing of this new schedule and feel exhausted, wiped out, my mind is like a colander or sieve..... .unable to process simple task at work what so ever. I swear I am worse than a month ago..

 

Maybe I just need a good day. I have had a little bit more going on but not like a concert, wedding, vacation. Just beyond simple minded. I have read more and concentrated more but I use the wrong words all the time.

 

Dawn I could use boring and repetitive & sedentary! This will work in your favor. REALLY, just ask David and I.

Ok, I will stop complaining.

mb

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi again everyone,

sorry I've been missing again recently, I've been incredibly busy! So, Dawn, Cathmat, GG Michelle, Winb, Sally, Sandi, SarahLou, Louise, Mary, Carl, David, and everyone, I've missed all your recent posts until I had chance to look today!

Dawn - very glad for you, well done,

Carl - love the new hat - is it one of six thinking hats?

David - glad things are looking up for you - how did the night out go?

Sandi - glad you are still being the sounding board, giving out great advice I see, but how are you? make sure you look after yourself in all this

GG - positive as always

Sally -keep chugging with that appeal - make sure you log everything they do wrong and bring it up at the tribunal

Glad everyone else is ok! Sorry if I missed anyone - bit ring rusty!!

Macca

Edited by Karen
off topic conversation removed. See http://www.behindthegray.net/vbullet...3160#post83160
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Strange turn of events.

Work has been interesting to say the least, There have been some changes. Many of you know that two months after I returned to work I was disciplined and my job changed in its entirety.

Two weeks ago the meter reader at work sprained his knee. He hasn't been able to do the job since.

I have not read meters in about two years but today they asked if I could be of some assistance in that area.

 

I did the job for 20 years so I think I should be ok. There is an expectation of reading 300 meters a day. I said I can only try to do my best. So as of Monday I go back to my former job pre SAH. I look forward to the change.

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Morning got a week off work this week , going back but my boss wants me to drop my hours officially take the pressure off me but means i will lose money. Its such a big decision to make but everyone see s how tired i am .Will i ever get back to working full time again?

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Hi Cath,

I've been through this dilema too. It is not an easy decision. You know that your boss is right but you also know what finances you need to live on. Have you applied for Disability Living Allowance? It's best to get help filling in this form but if you are awarded some payment this might help while you have to reduce your hours. Citizen advice or the illness/disability advisor at your job centre should be able to let you know what else you could claim.

 

You may well get back to full time hours but I don't think you will achieve that by pushing yourself at the moment while you are struggling. Your health has to come first. Giving in a little is not the same as giving up! Maybe if you cut the hours and eventually build them back up later, it will work out much easier for you than it seems to be at the moment?

Good luck

Michelle xx

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Carl, it's really something that they've asked you back to your old job in light of all that's going on with you at work. You did that job for so many years you can probably do it blindfolded! Go easy on your first few days, it's been awhile and may feel a bit strange.

 

Cath, oh Hun I've been there too. It's such a difficult place to be!! Your boss is trying to help. You want to be back to your old self or at least show that you are improving. Nobody wants to give up any of their income. I fought through this struggle for months and months. Do you get counseling? Being on BTG has helped me so much but I also see a psychologist who is really helping me to have a different perspective on work and income and my health and well being.

 

It took me far too long to realize that my health is the priority and nothing else will fall into place unless I feel well. It was such an emotional struggle. I have always been career oriented and have worked since I was 15 years old. My wages have always continued to climb. To finally say 'I need time off to recover' was like admitting defeat. To give up my job and the wages I worked so hard to earn was like giving away the biggest part of me. Who am I if I'm not the manager of my dept? It's a huge undertaking for me to redefine myself.

 

I'm not saying you will feel the same, just sharing my experience. What I am saying is your health is the priority and if you are being given an opportunity to spend more time getting better and getting to know yourself after SAH then it's worth considering. Exploring options and learning about yourself can be an adventure.

Sandi K. Xoxoox

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Carl,

I think your tale is brilliant - it must be the new hat! How ironic that they have had to come back to you, cap in hand, (sorry for the intentional pun) to do what you did before. It just says who was right and who was wrong without you even having to utter a word. Exquisite justice and a paradox of their own making!!

Enjoy your moment Carl, I can see that sardonic grin from here! c'est magnifique!!

 

Cathmat,you are right, money isn't everything but with a little planning and re-evaluation you can minimise the effect. At least you won't have the transport or meal costs etc and there will be loads of things you can economise on at home, or do differently or less often etc. Take your time - your health is so much more important than the money and you are worth more than all the money in the world - in fact you are priceless!

 

Do what's right for you Cath, make the decision that suits you and control your own destiny. You'll feel so much better when the control is in your hands and not those who think they know what's best for you. In this case, looking from the outside, this is just a case of mindset. In any case you may find something else, much lesss demanding but which may pay you to make some money up. let us know what you decide, may be we can help with some guidance/support etc

Good luck Cath

Macca

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Hello all:

Eh hem, been busy working :). Yesterday about broke me, but I'll get to that in a minute.

Carl- Hope meter reading is going well. 300 a day? Will these be harder than what you were doing before/ I imagine it's alot of walking. Kudos to you, I couldn't do it in my current state.

 

Macca- How are you getting on? You seem to be well. Did you read my SAH paradox thread? Wrote it just for you :)

 

Cath- Take as much time as they allow you. The money will come eventually. I am just getting back to full time. took me 9 months.

 

Mary- New schedule any better? it is not unusual to get worse. I got worse in December and havent recovered yet.

 

Sandi- Didnt mean to rush you back to work :). Hope you are benefitting from your time off.

 

SL- How is extra hour going? You do like 9-6 now? Still walking crazy girl?

 

Ok so yesterday several co-workers called in sick. Did 3 people's jobs. Took 60 calls, ran reports, balanced balance sheets, handled incoming and outgoing checks, and ran payrolls. By noon I was ready to quit. You can put my sorry a$$ on disability and kiss it goodbye. My brain was absolute mush. Took a break at lunch. tooks some meds that didnt work. Needless to say I finished the day. Barely. I never toot my own horn but I deserved a filet mignon or a beer. Too tired for beer. Maybe Friday. But I guess I made it. For those of you that work full time and don't complain, you're a better person than me.

 

Full time 40 hours start next week. Meeting on Thursday about it. Just need to know I have an out of some sorts. Feel like 82 years old today right Sandy? Ok maybe 62. Can I retire now. Anyone want to go live on the beach in California? Mary? Winter?

Slap my face and call me Charlie (that means wake up)

David

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David, this is the place to complain and after your work day yesterday anyone would be exhausted!! No wonder you feel so old and were ready to quit, it's going to take days to recover from that. My psychologist often talks to me about the unrealistic expectations I have of myself. She explains how in an example such as the one you are writing about a healthy person would be ready to drop after a day of doing 3 people's jobs and all that activity. She asks me how I can logically expect myself to do that when I'm not healthy and I'm in recovery from a brain injury. All that work you did yesterday required your brain to be firing all neurons.

 

How can your management expect that you will do the work of 3? It's impossible. Congratulations that you did it and yes a celebration should be had. But David, it's not realistic. Not in any situation for anyone. I hope I'm not overstepping the mark here, I'm just worried about you and I'm trying to say 'no wonder you feel awful!'.

 

40 hours will be much easier to achieve if the daily pace is kept to something realistic. Perhaps something could be mentioned in the meeting regarding the addition of hours? You are certainly doing your part and keeping your end of the deal. Surely your bosses can see that and realize you are a valuable employee. Your determination and work ethic must be recognized.

Sandi K. Xoxo

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David,

what you've done and achieved is nothing shorrt of amazing. From where you were to where you are now is nothing short of brilliant. Are you sure you're not walking on a yellow brick road? You're turning into a hero! I am very proud of you for getting this far, well done sir!!

Don't overdo it my friend. I take my hat off to you.

I have answered on the SAH paradox thread.

Stay well mate!

 

Sandi, This has been some thread, well done for raising it, it has prompted so much discussion and support and I don't think any of us should lose sight of that - thank you!

Macca

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David

Well done sir - even though it was very hard (and would have been for anyone) you got through. It definitely needs bringing up at your meeting though. They need to know that you are working hard to reach their target of 40hrs a week but you can't be expected to the do the work of three people when you're still building up to doing your own job full time.

I work 32 1/2 hrs a week (thats considered full time in my job) and I get 14 weeks off a year (I originally wrote 38 weeks off but Michelle pointed out my error so I've corrected it) and even I get exhausted at certain times of the school year, especially the beginning and end of a school year. And I'm only doing my own job. Even though it wiped you out mentally and physically, be proud that you got through it and that you didn't quit. It will get easier the more your brain becomes attuned to it, but not three people's jobs!!!

I'll quite happily come and live on the beach in California :cool: - life coaching and foot rubs will be free :wink:

Take care of you Mr - you're far more important than a job.

Edited by Skippy
Typo on number of weeks holiday a year
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