Back To Work

[Sandi K]

Wondering how it's going for everyone who is back to work.

I finally cleared my old work clothes out of my closet this past weekend. What a huge turning point! Part of 'letting go of the old me'. I'm pretty sure my neuropsych is going to recommend I start returning to work gradually again (in a different capacity and slowly) and that's exciting! And scary all at the same time.

 

In the meantime I'm volunteering and have begun a 'coping skills' class every Friday for 2 hours and runs 25 weeks at the local brain injury society.

Sandi K.

[DawnS]

Hi Everyone,

here I am looking for a bit of advice as usual!

I have asked the call centre manager about reducing my hours. It is possible, but it's not his decision. I have to fill out a form, submit it to my team leader and then she will have a meeting with me, HR, the rota manager and another manager, phew! The form itself consists of telling them how my reducing my hours will benefit the company, what problems it will cause and how to resolve them amongst other things.

 

it seems obvious to me that this all needs to be worded in a very positive way...my reduction on hours will mean that my colleagues have to answer more calls,. however, my availability rate will increase, my call duration decrease and so it will be a case of quality rather than quantity for the hours I do work.

 

A friend suggested I visit the CAB before filling the form to get some extra advice, and this is a fantastic

idea, except that they are only open while I am at work. I have no holiday left and basically cannot visit them for advice! What I am wondering is this...are there any obvious pitfalls that I am not seeing? Are there any keywords that I should mention? Although my logic and reasoning have improved by miles, I do still struggle to 'create' things and word things well so I'd really appreciate any ideas or input anybody could offer.

 

Sandi, I am intrigued by the coping skills class. Is it helpful? What kind of thing is offered?

[iola]

Dawn,

Wow, that is a tough one. I work part-time and when I went to work part-time it did benefit the company an me. It's a balancing act.

 

Hiring people takes time, training, and loss of money to the company. It is better to keep a worker happy on the job, which includes managing hours that meets both needs. The most productive employees are happy and working for company's that are able to meet their needs while still getting the work accomplished.

 

Unhappy employees leads to lost sales/profit and an exodus of employees, which goes back to time, training, and money.

Hope this helps.

iola

[MaryB]

Hi Dawn, I have been wondering the past few days about where you were at. I am at the same place you are. I hate to have my co workers do more but on the other hand if I am too tired and making mistakes it does not help anyone.

 

I did however get rid of that Monday afternoon day. Jeez, coming in at noon was awful. I was ready for bed at 10:00 am so I am glad I do not have to do that anymore. I do however have to pick up Wednesday morning instead which is better or we shall see.

 

I just went to a new therapist today that specializes in brain issues. Next week I will have cognitive testing done. I had to do a personality test today that was over 500 questions long. Holy COW!. I am hoping this all will guide me into the right direction with work and my new life. I really thought I would be 100% by now or at least 85% ok more than 75%.

 

I just cannot add another thing to my day and I am not happy where I am with that. I keep thinking I am one of the really lucky ones too! I just thought it would be easier. I feel like my brain is 1000 years old most days.

 

I think Sandi needs to post and keep a log about her coping classes so we can all read it over and over again!! Really!!

Take care all and good luck, Mary!

[DawnS]

Thanks for the thoughts there, it really helps me to get ideas from others. So often these days I miss obvious things and get stuck in a thought pattern. Discussing things breaks me out of it!

 

I have a concern with the section of the form that asks the reason for changing the hours. The only real answer I can give is 'fatigue due to brain injury'. I have concerns about putting this down on paper, but my other half suggested that this is the best thing to write because it is the only reason for the change. I have fatigue because I have a brain injury and that's that. Am I being silly?

[MaryB]

No you are not being silly Dawn. What are you suppose to do make something up? You really have not other choice.

I had a talk or a long text with my boss today and we will revisit that schedule again.

[Jules]

I find forms etc very confusing and I tend to over think them now so I get tied up in knots.

I would agree with your partner and also think that it will help them make it happen. They are looking for a good solid reason for reducing hours and you have one to give them.

 

I have just taken a work sabbatical for 6 months for the very same reason and I would not have got it if I had not stated that it was as a result of Brain Injury fatigue and the need for more rehabilitation. This may not have been necessary if I had managed my hours better.

Good luck I am sure it will go well

[Louise]

Dawn, you have come to that conclusion after trying, so good for you honey your learning what's best for YOU & in return its better for the company I'd say.

 

I didn't manage back to work but did a 7 year computer course which gave me insight into going out & doing house/shopping stuff. Just couldn't happen if I was going to have any sort of a life, it wasn't an easy decision but when it boiled down to it , well no contest..

By the way... forms = nightmare...

[Sandi K]

Dawn, I'm just seeing this today. I hope I'm not too late to weigh in on the forms. At one point I summed everything up as fatigue. When I said I had fatigue my doctor asked me to describe it in detail. My detail included heavy arms & legs, sore muscles, sore throat, hoarse voice, tight head, head ache, and the list went on. I also include inability to concentrate, plan, organize, problem solve or make desicions and an overwhelming feeling of exhaustion.

 

Many of you have seen me write it here as my 'weirdo symptoms'.

My GP said she would sum it all up as neurological symptoms from subarachnoid hemorrhage. She includes fatigue as one of the symptoms right alongside the others like sore muscles.

 

Just a thought. So many people just do not know what we mean when we say fatigue. It does not mean we are 'tired' because fatigue is so far beyond tired. However, many people think 'tired' when they hear the word fatigue.

Sandi K.

[MaryB]

Thanks for that information Sandi I agree it is important to describe it all to your doctor and work place. I started to make a typed list of all of my issues when I go to the doctor so I can just hand it to his nurse when she checks me in. That way we do not waste time on other stuff and I am scooted out the door. And I do not get lost or stuck on one subject.

 

It is not that you are just tired but you have hit the wall and cannot think at all. You could lay down anywhere quiet or for me just walk out the door without notice as I cannot even form the words or the desire to talk about it anymore. This happens out shopping and running errands as well I just need to stop what I am doing.

 

Last week I found a link on Mental Fatigue after Brain Injury and it had a lot of information that I found to be useful and it is pretty much what I am feeling.

 

I need to scale way back is what I learned about myself and job right now. Regroup and rethink where I am at now. I just assumed I would get better and better. But from what I read this is a normal thing that can happen when we are getting better our mind just needs to do less mental tasking to catch up ( I am hoping). We are thinking more and as we all know thinking is something we took for granted before our SAH.

Maryb

[DawnS]

I have handed my forms in today as my team leader has been on holiday. Thanks for the thoughts Sandi, but I have not given much information about the extent of the fatigue and symptoms it causes as I want them to allow me to reduce my hours without making them think I am not capable of work.

 

I know that returning to work has brought many benefits, but I now feel that I was somewhat naïve about what exactly I was getting into. In the beginning, we try so hard and push ourselves because we want to return to our former lives which is perfectly ok and understandable, however I now wonder if we set a high precedent for ourselves and when things settle a little, we find that we have set the bar a little bit too high. That is certainly how I am feeling at the moment.

 

It can take several weeks for the application to be processed and I sincerely hope it's accepted. I have actually only asked to drop 6 hours per week, it's not so much that it will make a bad impact on the business but enough that hopefully it will make a large impact on my quality of life.

[MaryB]

Bless you Dawn, I hope it makes all the difference in the world for you. Maryb

[Louise]

Sandi, I always point out to people that 'fatigue' is more than tiredness to help them understand.

Dawn, I did a college course (as I was made redundant 3mths after the SAH) anyway that showed me that working was just not an option for me if (as you say) I wanted any quality of life then it was simply just not an option.

 

Your right we try so hard to push ourselves back into the person we 'were' we feel we have to we think what will our work colleagues think, what will friends say, & family too we should be thinking of OURSELF. It doesn't matter what people think.

ok rattled enough I guess...

[DawnS]

I had a meeting with HR today to discuss reducing my hours. I'm not sure how it happened, but they seem to think I'm lacking confidence in my abilities and spent an amount of time reassuring me that they are happy with my work level. They even had stats to show that my work rate is equal with anyone else. They seem to have missed the point somewhat!

 

Anyway, I've been told it will take two weeks before I hear anything and if it will take any longer, they will let me know. Fingers crossed!

I hope everyone else is getting on ok with their work-life?

[Daffodil]

Dawn. Pleased your meeting sounds positive and hopefully fingers crossed that you get what you ask for.

 

I do think our biggest critic at work is ourself. Most people ( not all I know) want us to do well, they are rooting for us to succeed but they can't understand how we are left feeling, why would they, I wouldn't have done pre SAH , not really. I would have empathised but I wouldn't have understood, I remember speaking to someone with ME and not really understanding the reason she couldn't do stuff. I do know now:shock:

 

My work return is going very slowly and steadily at the moment. Work happily allowed me to use one of my days to attend the neurophyschology cognitive workshops but now they have finished its more time spent back on computer and phone. Finding some days easier than other , three full mornings now but by Friday that's me wiped.

[iola]

Hi,

My work life has good and bad days. Today I am sitting here with a warm neck thing around my neck to help with the pain. I woke up dizzy, which I do not like. I can go days without the dizziness and then here is comes, like it missed me or something.

 

I've noticed I do get the dizzies most of the time now when I am tired or when the weather is changing.

Weird thing is, and I do not know if this happens to others, but, when I am doing something physical such has trimming bushed or raking the leaves I feel good. It's not until I sit down that I feel like it all settles on me like a ton of bricks. Maybe it's the endorphins kicking in. Don't know.

iola

[DawnS]

I've has some excellent news today and I wanted to share with you all as you keep helping me so much with the whole back-to-work thing!

My application to reduce my hours has been approved As of the 2/1/14, I will have a shorter working week. I feel better already just knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you so much to everyone who gave input, offered insight and encouragement, where would I be without you all?!

[jess]

Dawn that is brilliant news so pleased for you. Jess.xxx

[MelS]

Fantastic positive news Dawn,

Sounds like things are moving in the right direction indeed .

Well I'm up to 5 hours a day over 4 days now, still doing "special projects" but slowly learning what my boundaries are, with the support of my employer, for which it am very lucky and grateful. Normal things like phone calls, people in the office, multi tasking are still challenging and mash my head, there are tears regularly ( thank goodness for waterproof mascara!).

 

Next step is I'm to have a vocational psychological assessment, which will give myself and my employer some real baselines to work with, as I'm in month 8 of my return and we both need to get an understanding of where things are headed.

 

All supported by Access to Work, it really is invaluable support.

Good luck everyone x

[Gill C]

Fab news Dawn, sometimes these things are so much easier than we expect them to be. Thankfully the people you work for are some of the good ones

[Wem]

Brialliant news Dawn, I hope you find the reduced hours really improve your quality of life.

My return to work is progressing steadily, I am up to 17.5 hours per week working from home.

I do now make regular, though infrequent, trips into the office for face to face meetings, this entails driving on a busy stretch of motorway into a city centre location, followed by 4-5 hours of uninterrupted office work/meetings followed by the drive home. I get a sense of achievement from doing that, but I am usually wiped out for a few days afterwards.

 

Work can and does take a lot out of me, but there are also positives to be gained from it. Financial gain is the biggest driver, closely followed by structure to my day to day life, and improved self esteem. As a a by-product of my return to work, my short term memory, multi tasking skills, concentration levels and analytical skills have all improved. Though they are still way short of my pre-SAH position.

 

I believe achieving the right work/life balance is important for all, but for anyone with a long term illness, it has got to be essential. The problem is until our recovery plateaus, and we reach full acceptance, then we risk setting our goals beyond what is realistically achievable.

 

The conundrum for many of us is that we do not know what is achiveable, until we have tried. Even then, if we were previously high achievers, we will invariably push ourselves harder to wring out a few more ounces (or grams) of energy!!

 

This is a journey of discovery for all of us and the biggest question is:

What do we now want out of life, and will returning to work deliver that dream?

[KathrynB]

That's great news Dawn - I'm so happy that you were able to reduce your work hours. I know the sense of relief I got when I stepped back from work back in April after 5 weeks of craziness. My workplace insisted that I had to be at work every day for at least 4 hours a day - that was their idea of a graduated return to work!

 

Wem - I really appreciated your words of wisdom this morning. I am struggling so much with figuring out what I am capable of doing at the moment, especially when the goal posts keep moving backwards and forwards. I am currently waiting to hear back from my insurance company about the plan to gradually get me back to work. My fear is that the longer I am away, the harder it is going to be getting back into work but I am trying to calm myself and try to remember that I did suffer a brain trauma and that it takes time to recover.

 

I too am also asking the question "What do I now want out of life, and will returning to work deliver that dream?"

 

I just want to say that I admire all of the survivors on this site who have had to go back to work before they were really ready - plus the shared experiences gave me enough information to have the guts to say - "I can't really handle this right now!" - so, thank you!!!

Kathryn

[Mrs,ac]

Mels

This is the single thing that frightens me the most being made or forced to return to my very stressful job

Edited December 6, 2013 by penny
Quote Removed

[DawnS]

My new hours started on the 2nd Jan. Things already feel better. I still do a full day on a Monday and the other 4 days are really only reduced by 1.5 hours but because I start an hour earlier and have dropped one of my 30 minute breaks, I actually get home 3 hours earlier than I used to.

 

Mondays feel awful, but this serves to make the rest of the week seem like a breeze (almost)! I have no idea just yet what the actual financial impact will be but who cares if I feel this much better I do find it difficult not to fill all the spare time up with other things. I have to remind myself to break things up, for example, there is no need to clean the bathroom and do all the ironing on the same day because there will now be time tomorrow.

 

I don't feel like I have failed in my return to work. I tried full time hours for 13 months. I felt unwell and have found a solution that keeps both me and my employer happy - success surely!

How is everyone else getting on with?

[donnamarie]

That's really good news dawn ? I have yet to return to work tired it and it didn't work out at all. I have now joined a cedar retraining course which will run for two years and I will try all the jobs I want and feel I can do now to see how things work out with the headaches still in full force it limits what I can do and returning to cafe work will not be an option. Try and relax on your extra hours at home ( easier said than done )

Good luck

Donna