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Hello guys,

It's been quite a while since I've been on the Back To Work thread.

Dawn, that's brilliant news, I'm really pleased for you. It sounds like a lot of pressure has been lifted.

Keep us updated on how you get on.

 

DM, your new training course sounds like a brilliant idea, gives you the chance to explore all types of career. That's great and I'm sure that your'll find something that is right for you.

 

As for me... I'm about to leap into the unknown and make a massive career change!

After 20 years in the same trade I'm going to follow some dreams and try to reach for the stars!

I'm excited yet nervous of how my lil re-arranged brain will cope with all the new learning and the few years studying that I have ahead of me.

 

Family and close friends have been very supportive, I just need to find some confidence in myself.

I start my new job this Monday (20th) so watch this space!!

Take care,

SarahLou Xx

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  • 2 weeks later...

Not much has changed for me yet so haven't updated for a long time. However, things are about happen!

 

I've been volunteering same shift for some time now. Tues, weds, thurs 4 hours each day. On Fridays I take a 2 hour Coping Strategies class through the Brain Injury Society. It's been really great. 25 weeks long and half way through now. A lot of it has been validation which can be a wonderful thing. Knowing we aren't alone and that things like fatigue and attention problems that I struggle with are shared by others is comforting as we talk about our experiences and learn how to cope.

 

My neuropsych report was finally ready near the end of December. In it are specific recommendations for returning to work. It's nice to have it mapped out. When I tried to return the first time only weeks after SAH I was very much in denial that anything had changed and thought I could 'work' my way back to how it was before. Not much had changed the second time except I became very sad and felt totally defeated and betrayed by my brain!

 

My employer was willing to adapt at work to accommodate me but the truth was that neither of us knew what I needed. Nothing seemed to work. I couldn't even go for a walk without my body screaming at me from fatigue never mind write briefing notes or remember anything from meetings.

 

Volunteering for over a year in an admin role has helped so much. There is less pressure to perform. Volunteering at the Brain Injury Society is also good because it's really been a safe place for me to learn how my brain works now. There have been frustrations and tears, lots of them! Many attempts to return to my old familiar work habits. Sadness that those habits don't work for me anymore. But, there is also a feeling of optimism as I've come to realize new strengths with this 'new' brain and as a result new and different doors are opening for me.

 

Summarized, my 36 page neuropsych report recommends that I work in a quiet, distraction free environment with no time pressures and part time. I've had a couple of meetings at work and lots of ideas are are on the table. I'm positive we will come up with something that fits for my brain. It's early days yet but just talking about it is exciting! I'm going in with eyes open.

 

I know my old habits will still creep in. Things like working beyond the hours I'm supposed to, not taking the required breaks, etc. Personality is a hard thing to change. I tell people I had 46 years to become who I was. I've only had 3 years to learn about my new brain. This may take more time!

 

Sarah Lou I'm looking forward to reading how your new career is going. I imagine it's exhausting at the beginning with learning new things. I hope you are settling into a routine and feeling well.

Dawn, I've been following your journey. It's wonderful that you were able to change your shifts!

Onward and upward everyone!

Sandi K.

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Sandi, it sounds like you have been supported well and are going back into this with much more information than before. It sounds as though you were the same as me in the beginning...when I first started my return to work, I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into. As I was returning to a job I'd already been doing for 3.5 years before hand, I couldn't see what the difficulty would be in carrying out the role itself. And perhaps there would have been no difficulty if I had been supported the way I have been in my new role.

 

I started on 2 x 4 hour days and was floored completely. I was only paid for 3.75 hrs but had to fight to get that extra 15 mins back as a break. My manager couldn't comprehend why a break in a 4 hr shift was needed :oops: I sometimes wish I could go back and do it all again but armed with the information I now have. Hindsight isn't a wonderful thing at all, if only it came as foresight!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello guys,

Sandi I am so proud of you. Where would we all be if you had never started this thread eh?

It sounds like things are planned much better for you and I feel like things will click into place easier for you when the time is right for you to return to work. Maybe you could start another thread ... 'The Return To The Return To Work' ... Perhaps!! I know there are quite a few on here that have had to change their careers, adapt and face some tough truths and decisions with regards to working following an SAH.

How's things going with everyone else?

 

I'm now in my 4th week at my new job, I'm loving it and settling in but wow I can not put into words how exhausted I feel. I can literally feel by brain re rooting and learning new pathways and I've only just scratched the surface with my new job, I haven't started my studies yet, still very early days.

I'm working every day but shorter hours which is nice. I've not worked a 5 day week since returning to work so that's taking some getting used to.

 

At the moment I get home from work and need to lay down in peace and quiet for about an hour to try ease my brain from the cartwheels it's doing.

I'm struggling with sleep as well as so much is going through my head.

I'm so happy that I made this career change though, it's nice to be able to get some confidence in myself back.

 

I just need a truck load of spare spoons though please if anyone has any!!

Take care,

SarahLou Xx

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SarahLou,

I'm retiring in June, 18 months early, with a bit of luck. You can have my spoons! I've been treated dreadfully recently at work, which is why I have decided to go!

 

My story is a bit like Canadian Carl's, but I've just passed the 40 year mark and decided to go.

It's such a game changing decision bringing much needed mental relief - it's a stress buster,and without wanting to sound conceited - they don't deserve me!

That's the way I want to look at it anyway! Enough of my problems - I am extremely happy for you

 

SarahLou - just be careful not to overdo it!

 

Dawn - great news from you also - I hope it works out for you over the longer term!

 

Sandi - you deserve to get paid for that 'voluntary' stuff. Put in for a raise but don't accept them if they offer you them in hours!!!

 

Macca

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am really rather worried about work right now. Since decreasing my hours, I have felt much better and this was manifesting itself in my personal work statistics. My Team leader was happy and I was happier.

On the 13th of this month, a new system was introduced. It runs along side the old system for now and has created much more work as we have to use both. It has changed almost everything. I am supposed to take 10 calls per hour, but since the new system came in, I've been averaging at 4.5. We have 3 personal statistics to meet and I am meeting none of them. As you might imagine, my team leader has her concerns.

 

I was added to a group for extra training last Thursday (we were the worst in the call centre!) and while this training has helped a little, it was still challenging because there were 4 of us in the group. The others were asking questions which diverted the course of the training so often that I struggled to follow what was being taught. There was no time to absorb anything before we had moved on and there was so much information, I couldn't retain it all.

 

I spoke to my team leader at lunch time and she suggested that I be taken off some of the extra phone lines that I work on and merely book engineer appointments for a while until I get the new process firmly into my mind and then re-introduce one phone line at a time so that I can get used to it all gradually. Great! Only, she forgot and left me in all lines all afternoon.

 

I will have another chat tomorrow but I am wondering, how much is it reasonable for me to ask for? Can I request that I receive one-to-one training so that the subject stays on track? Can they sack me for being so far below par? They have extended someone's probation for having poor calls per hour, but hers were higher than mine! I am worrying about this so much :oops:

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Dawn. Go ahead and remind your team leader of her suggestion and try not to worry. You have been doing really well with your new hours, you are a valued member of the team , don't lose sight of that, it's just that learning and retaining new information takes longer for us. You will get there you just need a little more time. It sounds like she recognises that

 

Try asking if someone could video the training so you can watch it back with headphones a few times. Write out in steps exactly what you need to do from that. When I learnt a new system that's what I had to do because I just kept forgetting steps. After a while the repetition of doing it stuck but I just couldn't pick it up at first.

 

They can't sack you on performance if the training for the new system doesn't take into account making any adjustments for the disability they are aware of. Talking is the key thing again for you here. Pm me if you want .

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Dear dawn I read your post with sadness, what are we doing to our work force? SAH, people will never understand the long term results, they seem to think that after a reasonable time we should all be fit to work. The medical profession don't seem to want to know, and certainly appear to me to totally underestimate the long term affects.

 

Luckily I am retired although I still work on my small holding, there is no way I could hold down a job, with constant pain in my brain and continued blurred vision, will be watching your progress it seems very hard to judge your ability to work when you have had a brain injury love jill

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Hi Dawn,

Sometimes I think I'm paranoid and worry I am not performing up to par. I worry that peope define me by what happened rather than who I am. My boss chastised me twice in a meeting today. He did that before but now I wonder if he is doing it because he feels I am not doing my job as I used too. My lack of self esteem, I think.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Easy for me to say. :). Ask for the one-on-one training. I believe it shows initiative and the desire to do your job well.

Iola

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Thanks everyone, sound advice as always. Since i changed my hours, I've kept an archive folder for all the emails we are sent with a copy of our personal statistics. I had been in the red only 7 times in 5 weeks after changing my hours but now with the new system, I'm in the red 5 days per week. :oops:

 

My team leader comes in an hour after me today. I'll see if we can have a chat privately so that we are not disturbed. Any team leader on the call centre floor is considered fair game to offer help to everybody and this makes staying on track challenging as there will often be a queue of colleagues waiting at her desk.

I feel a little less panicked now, thanks!

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I had a chat with my team leader this morning - she was most reassuring. She advised that there are people in our team who are performing below my levels and without brain injury. She thinks some one-on-one training is a good idea however, a troop of new starters come in tomorrow so the trainers may be tied up with them for a little while. She came good on her promise of reducing the number of lines I work on, so have spent the day merely booking appointments for engineers. This is definitely the way forward.

 

I came home this afternoon and went straight to bed for a nap, which I never do on a week day. Hopefully now I can relax a little and will start sleeping better at night :cool:

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Well done Dawn,

you seem to be doing really well - keep it up!

 

Iola - are you sure your boss isn't chastising you because he/she can? If you feel you are doing well, then stand your ground. Even so, there is no excuse for chastising in public - you should be taken to one side. If they know you had a brain injury then shame on them. Perhaps you should approach and ask why they did that? At least then you'll know what the problem is and can address the problem whatever it may be.

 

Go on girl, you can do it - you may even make them feel guilty for the way they treated you. Don't lose any sleep over it!

Best wishes

Macca

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Thanks Macca. He was actually there when I had my bleed. I was on travel for work when it happened and he drove me to the hospital and never left me until my husband arrived, which was hours away.

I think you hit the nail on the head. He does it because he can and he thinks he's funny.

 

Grrrr... I was not happy. Since this happened my confidence at work is not what it used to be. I was the person you came to for answers. I also worked crazy hours. I never stopped. I just do not want to work the hours I did and feel am not the asset I thought I once was. Cannot decide if I care though.

I

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Iola,

If you didn't care you wouldn't have asked the question - great that your boss stayed with you but shame that they don't know better!

 

Don't work crazy hours - set time limits and stick to them - if you were working that many hours then they should be employing another person, not trying to get blood out of a stone! Don't run yourself down or dare to feel guilty - your employers should feel shame.

 

To get the best out of you, they should be looking after you - their asset - a human being with valuable skills, and a life outside work! If you go back to your old ways that will be the quickest way back to hospital. You need to change your ways and do some time management! Don't be a hero - the cemetery's full of them!

All the best to you

Macca

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Thank you Macca. It's amazing what an employer expects from a person. My company laid off 15 people at Christmas and 9 more after. They expect us to wear so many hats. It's crazy and our economy is going down the tubes. I just cannot do what I used to do.

You are right, if you do not set limits they will take everything from you. Sad but true.

I

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Iola,

Make sure you wear a 'reasoning' hat and a 'leisure hat'. Don't go back to what you did before, that was probably a contributory factor to your illness. Life is for living - work to live, not live to work! I know you have to pay the bills and all of that, but you must find a way to cut down a bit - your family need you awake and alert, not comatose because of work!

 

i wish you well - go and have some fun with the little one in you photo - she's more important than work - take stock and give her some quality time - not just a bedtime story!!

Macca

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello guys,

I know that I'm one for always saying to others 'have patience and understanding with yourself'....

Well I sure wish that I could follow my own advice.

I've been at my new job for nearly 8 weeks, I love it, I really do, but for the first time I am today questioning whether I can do it.

 

My job is non stop busy, and I mean non stop, tough emotionally and physically.

They are so short staffed.

My brain spins and my head is full of creepy pains.

I'm teary and mardy and I feel like I'm letting myself and others down.

 

For the first time in a long time I feel like breaking friends with my lil re-arranged brain.

I am doing a job I've wanted to do for a long time, but right now I'm all outta spoons.

I'm sorry to moan, but as ever, it's only you guys that truly 'get it'.

I feel so lonely right now.

Take care,

SL Xx :-(

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Hi Sarah Lou. You have been such a help to so many of us that hopefully you will get lots of ideas to cope with this.

 

One thing to remember is that the first weeks in any new job are hard, unsettling, upsetting sometimes and you would have felt all of those things prior to SAH. But you have had a brain injury so remember to cut yourself a little more slack, you are doing great.

 

I always used to tell new people to give themselves 12 weeks to really know the lie of the land and feel settled and relaxed in a new role but I think you should extend that out a little more than that, maybe 16 weeks. Whilst that is happening you might need to drop some of the other day to day stuff that you were previously managing well, scale it back a little. You can always pick those back up when it calms down and it will.

 

Try writing down each day the thing that you are most pleased with that day and what was good .Just write it down in a little book. Also maybe try and get some regular moments blocked into your day when you stop, breathe, take a walk, anything to just get some calm and white space into your brain. Make these times a habit, doesn't have to be longer than even 5 but just quiet and still. Maybe some music on your iPod or something that switches the brain from frantic to calm.

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Thank you Daff for your supportive words.

I cried today at work, have to say that my colleagues were great, we are all in the same boat with regards to stress from being under staffed. It's been a really tough week.

You're right, I need to give myself time and learn to pace again.

I've a few ideas to try.

 

I was having a moan to the hub about how exhausted I feel, when he reminded me that I do live with a brain injury and have done so for three and a half years. He thinks I'm being too tough on myself.

He's right, I do 'live' with it, just fighting against it a bit at the moment.

A stunning great big smile from a young cancer patient lifted my mood in the afternoon, made me take a step back and look at things a bit differently.

 

I'll get a lil book and write some things down, that's a great idea.

Thanks again for your support.

Take care,

SL Xx

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Hello everyone!

Sarah Lou, there is so much change for your brain. You need time, give yourself a break. Think about what you would say to one of us in the same situation and say that to yourself. Care for yourself. You are in a new routine and learning new things. That's rough for us SAH folks!

 

Dawn, how are things now? As I read your posts I was thinking of you working with two systems side by side, old and new and no wonder you aren't keeping up. Really, you are trying to do twice the work in the same amount of time. But actually, it's more than twice the work because you are learning the new system so that takes longer (brain injury or not). It sounds like your supervisor is supportive as long as you remind them of your needs. That can be awkward and uncomfortable, to have to keep bringing it up. But you do need to advocate for yourself and keeping a folder of your progress is a great idea! Because not only can you show them a picture of what's happening but it also reminds you of how skilled you are at work under good conditions.

 

I returned to work this week! Yay! Mondays and Tuesdays for 4 hours. Different job, same organization. My boss for the next three months is a doctor who knows a bit about brain injury. I am feeling blessed. Mostly I'll be working from home but for the first few shifts I'm going in for training and meetings. So far, working quietly in her office. She arranged for one-on-one training. The quiet and one-on-one is fantastic. Much easier for me to retain information.

 

Felt great at the end of yesterday but woke up with a whopper of a headache this morning. I'm sure it's just the change of routine and over-use of my brain and I need to settle in to new world.

I'm very enthusiastic about this, and I will stick to the schedule. This time, I will look after myself. Takes a long time to learn what that means. To learn what we need in order to care for ourselves. I'm still learning but I'm much more informed now and have a better chance at making this return-to-work successful!

Sandi K.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm overdue for an update. Have been avoiding it because my new boss quit!

I think it was the second week, my third shift. I was shocked and suddenly feeling very uncertain. It was such a good way to slowly dip my toes back into work and new boss really seemed to understand that I need quiet, focus, and few interruptions. I was so relieved that I wouldn't have to be advocating for myself constantly and explaining the whys of how my brain works now.

 

Since then there still isn't a replacement, so I'm continuing on with my project and working from home as planned and trying not to worry about where this will go.

 

The good news is that working from home is brilliant! I can really control the distractions. By keeping the environment quiet I'm able to really focus on what I'm doing. I need to get up and walk away from the computer for a few minutes every hour or so but mostly at the end of the shift I still have energy left!

 

This week on my last shift the unpredictable fatigue crept in about half way through and I wasn't very productive after that. Staring at the computer trying to finish something that would normally take a few minutes but I just couldn't figure it out. So very frustrating but it happens and next time will be better, and if it's not then the time after will be. :-D

Sandi K.

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Sandi, I notice toward the end of the week my focus is way off. I am tired and feel pressure in my head. Let's me know I am tired.

I have also noticed I have trouble concentrating. I have a 200 page contract to read and I start but it does not take long to lose my thought process and simply not care.

Iola

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