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Zoe and Richard - The End


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Hi Zoe,

I was thinking about how you were yesterday.

Sometimes its so hard to work out why things go the way they do in life. You can't always find the answers at the time, but in many cases, things can become clearer with that good old well used word time.

I like you have always grown up to know, that its the children that have to come first, when you have them.

No matter how old they are they are still both of yours. Richard can't do what is right at the moment for them, so you have to take control of all matters to do with your family.

Hope that in time, things will become clearer, and you will all be more relaxed around each other.

Take care Zoe.

Love and hugs

Sonia xxxxxx

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Hi Zoe, We have all seen from reading your posts on here, how hard it has been for you and the children, you are making the best decision for you all. You haven't rushed into this you have obviously thought long and hard over it. Maybe when you are gone Richard will do some long hard thinking or maybe he needs time on his own to recover, who knows how the future will turn out. At the moment you are the one closest to him and you are the one taking the brunt of his anger and frustration, and the children are there watching it all. Please do not feel guilty for your decision.

Best Wishes

Vivien x

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Hi All,

Just wanted to give you another quick update.

Richards parents have put their bungalow on the market with the aim of buying our house. We have decided that I will move out on 1st October and they will move in to take over Richards care. I am therefore going to my moms house (4 doors away) until I can get somewhere of my own.

Generally things are going very well. Everyone is still speaking to each other and hopefully it will stay this way. Richard has gone downhill a bit over the last few months. His walking doesn;t appear as good but we have found out that he should have had a new leg splint by now and no-one has sorted this out. The one he wears he finds uncomfortable so maybe this will help him. Mentally he has gone downhill a lot. He still hasn't come to terms with what has happened and I fear that until he does this things will not improve. He has no respect for me but has lots for his parents so when they move in I hope things change for him.

Hope you are all okay as don't get to come on here much at the moment.

Take care

Zoe xx

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Hello Zoe,

It's good to hear that you're all still on speaking terms, fingers crossed it stays that way as it'll no doubt make things easier for everyone, especially because and with the kiddies.

1st of October eh, that's not far away, how are you feeling?

I hope that once things have settled that Rich can move forward in his recovery.

Good luck to you with everything, living back with parents, moving on to finding your own place etc.

Try to focus on the lil ray of light that peeps through the clouds.

Take care hun,

SarahLou Xx

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Hi Zoe I know how down and sad you must feel now but look to the future things can only get better, sorry it has come to this but you have to put your children first mine will always come first. However I know you are saying you will walk away with nothing however get your share of the money for your house if you don't want it put it in a bank for your children it will help them when they are older, at the end of the day it is your right. Jess.xxx

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Hi Zoe

It is good that everyone is still on speaking terms, but it is such a shame that this is the way it has to be for you. I don't envy you having to make that decision, and I congratulate you for having the strength to do so. You are moving out so the situation does not get any worse for you, the kids and for Richard.

I am sure once his parents move in they will soon realise just how big and difficult a job the caring is. Hopefully they will be able to cope as well as you did, and their relationship won't suffer. I am sure they will have a new-found admiration for you.

Take care of you and the kids and I hope things will become brighter for you soon enough

Kel x

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hi sweetheart

im so so sorry to read the posting i know you had such high hopes for the future after everything you have gone through we know that sah's do change people but always live in the hope that things would be the same but sometimes this dosnt happen you have worked so hard looking after richard and the children and proberly you have run yourself into the ground doing so it seems that richard may have more problems than first thought which is a pity you quite rightly have to put yourself and the children first and their safety and stabiltiy and normallity my heart feels very much for you and the choice you have made with a heavy heart im pleased that everyone is talking to each other and i can only hope that richards parents are able to cope and i hope the family support them i think you may still have my number if you want to talk anytime i know the children will see dad regularly i just hope richard gets some help to help him come to terms with what has happened just take care of yourself and remember we are here anytime chin up sweetheart you have done something that many people would have walked away from but love does so much for each other but brick walls still come and hit us in the face well done darling i for one is so proud of you hugs and massive cuddles darling love to the kids xx

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  • 2 years later...

Hi everyone.

It's been a couple of years since I last posted but feel I should give an update on Richards battle.

After splitting up he went to live with his parents but due to their age and ill health he moved into a small home round the corner. Here he lives with 5 other people with similar problems and 3 live in carers. He walks slowly with a tripod stick and still has no use in his left arm. His parents pick Luke up from school every Tuesday with Rich and they have a few hours together. Unfortunately, Xara is 12 now and at secondary school so has her own things to do so only sees him for a few minutes a week.

Now for some bad news. Last Wednesday Rich had an operation to coil another aneurysm. Sadly he suffered a stroke during surgery and is now in intensive care again. He is off sedation and ventilation but unfortunately every time he wakes he has a massive fit which doctors are unable to control. Will hopefully know the plan of action tomorrow but his parents have been told that if and when he does wake there is likely to be more damage and it will be a very long recovery.

I will update as soon as I know more.

Zoe xx

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Richard had a tracheostomy two days ago but unfortunately remains in a coma. Doctors have said there is no response as yet from his right hand side which was his good side following his sah a few years ago. His sister said he does open his eyes but there is nothing there, just stares vacantly. His family are all devastated xx

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