Daffodil Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Evening Alison . Your thread moved me as I had my SAH in March of 2012 so know a little of what you have witnessed. I am doing well , I didn't have a craniotomy but a shunt eventually but it's a hard graft recovery for all. I am glad to read that you are coping two years on but the alcohol issue must be very hard, does he know he needs help with that yet,? I really hope the realisation comes soon and he can get the counselling and help he needs. I can't drink at all now, I find everything is exaggerated , so I don't, but I can see how the thought of that escape, that liberation might be attractive. I wish you the very best. All of our recoveries twist and turn uniquely but the constant theme is often the partner who sits and comforts, guides and witnesses all our challenges, I think you ( and my hubby) and many other partners who have been through similar are wonderful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Long time Alison, Hope you are coping okay, huh the demon drink!! My hubby gave up when I was ill in case he got a call from hospital. I know Chris had been through a lot but drink and cigs are bad for us. Well my Doc said !! Good luck to you both, and may you both be happy xx All the Best and Chris lay off the booze !! No Stress either. If I cannot drink nor can Chris lol (I miss my vino collapso) Love to you Both WinB143 xx xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macca Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Great to hear your news! What brilliant support you've given over this time and thankfully you have some rewards from it. Trying to get away from the alcohol though will be a tough one also. You'll probably have to think of something out of the box, like going to a hypnotherapy session or Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) session or two. (no guarantee they will work, but maybe worth a go). Talk it over with his doctor. You are setting about it the right way however, talking to him when he is sober and lucid. I wish you the very best of luck as this is a difficult problem and he, himself, has to want to stop drinking. Best wishes Macca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 So sorry Chris is now an alcoholic, maybe you should get him to go to aa meetings or stop in a place for alcoholics to get him off the drink tell him he is drinking himself to another sah, maybe he will be lucky enough not to have another however it is unfair on you to drink like he is. My husband was/is an alcoholic which is why we split up in the end. Good to hear he is better after sah. Hope things improve for him more. Nice hearing from you and please keep us all updated and most importantly take care of you. Jess.xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahLou Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Hello Alison, how lovely to see you back here. Thank you for giving us an update on Chris. Some positive and some negative eh, I really hope that he is able to get some help with his drinking. He's been given a second chance at life and needs to grab it with both hands. How are you and the children coping? Remember ..... Heal the past. Live the present. Dream the future. Stay strong my lovely. Big hugs to you. Take care and keep smiling, SarahLou Xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iola Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 (edited) Wow, I just had the chance to read this thread. What a journey and more to come. You both are in my prayers. God bless you both. Iola Edited February 23, 2014 by iola Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alison Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 Thank you for your replies Yep, the drinking thing is very hard to be honest, its prob the worst thing that is going on now. Such a shame and i feel guilty about it in some way..i dont want to be an enabler for him. Anyway, i really am keeping as positive as possible about everything. The trouble with Chris and getting help is, in his mind..he is quite fine and can do it all by himself..and anyone who has come to see him, he will quickly get them to leave! lol..so i dont know..still baby steps i guess I know its an escape for him, i really do understand that and I hope in due time we can tackle it positively! and Win...i sing all the time ! i got that from you i sing my head off as i go about the house and even when i take a trip to the shops lol...it makes me smile Well i will keep updating, see how things progress love and hugs to you all and thank you once again for all your on going support , prayer and words of encouragement Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Alison, Threaten Chris in this way "Chris if you keep drinking I'll do a harmony with Win and it is not pleasant" Seriously you have both come this far, a long journey, a hard one for you both. I wish you both all the best in life xx Chris listen to Alison as we have put our loved ones through it, not our fault. now get fit and well. Keep singing Alison and Good Luck the Pair of you xxxx Love WinB143 xx xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alison Posted December 30, 2015 Author Share Posted December 30, 2015 Well Hello again wonderful people its been nearly 4 years since Chris had his SH and stroke. I was just reading back over this thread at how far we had come. And with out this wonderful site i really dont know where i would have been back at the begining so once again thank you for all the posts, advice and support ..has been so great!! As for me and Chris now...well, I say this with a heavy heart but...we are actually seperating..its very sad i know....He is waiting to get his own little flat locally. We are still friends, Ive been there for him 24/7 for 4 alomost 4 years ...I am going to help him ease into his new life and with all the added support he will recieve. I feel I am enabling his acoholism while he is with me here and we have just become incredibly dysfunctional as a family. I feel really guilty for not being able to carry on with Chris as my partner, I still love the guy btw....but I did try..I admire anyone who copes with a loved one in this situation..i know it can be so surreal. I wont go on and on about the negative things with Chris as I am sure everyone knows all about it really, just wanted to update you on our journey. much Love Alison x 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Alison I am so sorry about you and Chris but sometimes it is the best decision to just separate xxx Hope you will both be happy xxx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Alison, wishing you and Chris a very Happy Healthy New Year. So sorry you are separating but very pleased you are still friends and hope all will work out well for you both. Take care & keep in touch xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 So sorry that you're separating but I can fully understand why. I can imagine it's been incredibly hard for you but now is the time you need to do what is best for both of you. It's good that you're staying friends though. Wishing you all the best xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kempse Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 Hi Alison, lovely to hear from you again. I'm saddened to hear of your separation, but I can appreciate it maybe the best plan. You have done an amazing job in those years since Chris was hit by his sah - quite admirable I have to say! I wish you both the very best and I'm glad you remain friends. I hope you have a good 2016 - you deserve it, Best wishes, Sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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