What happened, why do I feel so bad?

[KelBel]

Hi Tom

In the early months post-SAH I constantly felt varying symptoms and every time I went to the Dr’s I was told it was anxiety-related. They did blood tests now and again to double-check but everything was coming out okay.

It is amazing what anxiety can cause… I am not saying that your symptoms are necessarily anxiety-related, as there could be other issues, but all of my aches and pains did seem to be caused by my anxiety, as we can be so hyper-sensitive to everything post-SAH.

My counsellor told me that I was suffering from Post-Traumatic-Stress, but it was never verified by a Dr, as I kept forgetting to mention it every time I went… but just to know there was a reason for my thought-processes, and the flash-backs, helped me to start recovering. Slowly but surely I stopped being so afraid. I was initially so scared of every sudden noise that I would almost jump out of my skin!

I too found it very difficult at first to feel lucky, because I was just so tired… I felt like I was constantly trying to swim through treacle, everything felt like such an ordeal and seemed to take so long… but give it a few months and hopefully you will also be able to look back and see how far you have come. It is a long journey, with twists and turns, but there are brighter days ahead.

Good luck for your journey

Take care

Kel x

Edited April 19, 2012 by KelBel

[Macca]

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life - remember - even though you are nervous about going back to the same hospital, you will be going home again afterwards - now maybe that's something to be nervous about - all that love coming your way!!

Good luck Tom

Macca

[akjnutt]

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life - remember - even though you are nervous about going back to the same hospital, you will be going home again afterwards - now maybe that's something to be nervous about - all that love coming your way!!

Good luck Tom

Macca

Thanks Macca its much appreciated thank you

Tom

[Winb143]

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life - remember - even though you are nervous about going back to the same hospital, you will be going home again afterwards - now maybe that's something to be nervous about - all that love coming your way!!

Good luck Tom

Macca

You knicked another song of mine Macca.....lol

Goodnight All gonna go bed and think of other songs Macca wont know !!!! ha

Macca sings...Always look on the bright siide of life... Win sings...bah boom de boom da boom.boom boom darn it

relegated to Maccas backing singer.x

laters all keep happy and well if poss

WinB143 xx

Edited April 21, 2012 by Winb143

[sallym25]

Hi Tom,

I have been struggling to keep up to date with everyones goings on recently. Am I right in thinking you had your angio yesterday? If so I'm glad it's over for you and hope you get the positive results soon. Am sure your nurses would have been thrilled to see you again. They told me they rarely get to see how their patients have improved since leaving them and are always very proud when they do.

I noticed you talk of not reading papers or watching the news in order to avoid hearing all about the bad things going on in the world. This struck a chord for me as I remember feeling exactly that way too. I couldn't see any good in anyone having to go through life with this world in it's current state. One of my neighbours visited around that time and talked about having to lie awake late into the night waiting for her son to arrive back from the local nightclub safely. She has another 3 sons ( all 2 years apart) and I remember thinking " how can she be content with things when the next six or seven years for her will be filled with this anxiety?" I really had it bad then. Thankfully I knew I had to deal with it quickly and the doc gave me some anti depressants which helped me enormously. I have never felt like that again. I am still on my tablets ( 2 years later) but am happy to take them for as long as needed in order to never go back there. I hope you can find something soon to help you in the same way.

If I have your appointment dates wrong, all the best for next week. Hope it all goes well.

Take care,

Sally x

[sallym25]

oops,

I did get it wrong, sorry. Good luck next Friday. Hope it isn't too stressful. Tell them nurses hello from me too.

Sally x

[winter]

Hi! First I'll apologize for not saying hello sooner .

I'm glad you found BTG. So much information and support here.

I remember feeling so many of those things, experiences, thoughts that you've been dealing with. I was afraid of every little thing that was happening with my body, every headache and pain. I was afraid my head was going to explode again, afraid I would die in the middle of the night, the list goes on. That was a little over 2 years ago now.

You've been through a very scary, life threatening experience and like the others have said, what you're experiencing is pretty normal. You're definitely not alone. Do consult with your doctors when you feel something is wrong.

It is hard for family and friends to see us in our varying states of recovery, but I found that for the most part, they are stronger than we think they are. A good friend here, at BTG, reminded me just the other day of that. My daughter (25) has been here for me since the day I had the SAH. While I hated to see her going through all of this with me, and even felt guilty for all of the time she was losing being with her friends, missing a semester of college, etc... I know she did that and continues to do that for me, because she loves me. And I love her and I'm so proud of how strong and courageous she's been through all of this.

I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts. You will get through this. Good luck with your tests this week!

Please keep us posted as to how you're doing.

Carolyn

[akjnutt]

oops,

I did get it wrong, sorry. Good luck next Friday. Hope it isn't too stressful. Tell them nurses hello from me too.

Sally x

Hey thanks Sally i feel better knowing i am not going mad regarding the newspapers and t.v but i cant seem to stomach bad news anymore,so was relieved when i read that.Unfortunately my g.p says he doesnt want to prescribe me anti-depressants until im off the clopidegrel(plavix) of which i still have at least a month of to go.I have to go back into ward 63 Southern General on thursday and get my angio friday and hopefully home by friday night(fingers crossed).When there i have to speak to Neuropshycologist and my g.p says i have to ask if there is a safe anti-depressant i can take along with plavix and if there is he will gladly prescribe them when i get out.So meantime i just take some diazepam when it gets bit too much although i do try to manage as long as i can before taking them as before all this i didnt even like taking a paracetamol.

I will let the nurses know you were asking after them although i must admit i am a bit apprehensive of returning.

Thanks Tom

[akjnutt]

Hi! First I'll apologize for not saying hello sooner .

I'm glad you found BTG. So much information and support here.

I remember feeling so many of those things, experiences, thoughts that you've been dealing with. I was afraid of every little thing that was happening with my body, every headache and pain. I was afraid my head was going to explode again, afraid I would die in the middle of the night, the list goes on. That was a little over 2 years ago now.

You've been through a very scary, life threatening experience and like the others have said, what you're experiencing is pretty normal. You're definitely not alone. Do consult with your doctors when you feel something is wrong.

It is hard for family and friends to see us in our varying states of recovery, but I found that for the most part, they are stronger than we think they are. A good friend here, at BTG, reminded me just the other day of that. My daughter (25) has been here for me since the day I had the SAH. While I hated to see her going through all of this with me, and even felt guilty for all of the time she was losing being with her friends, missing a semester of college, etc... I know she did that and continues to do that for me, because she loves me. And I love her and I'm so proud of how strong and courageous she's been through all of this.

I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts. You will get through this. Good luck with your tests this week!

Please keep us posted as to how you're doing.

Carolyn

Thanks Carolyn and your so right i value my family more than ever and dont know what id do without them but at the same time i am glad i found this place also,such valuable people and information Thank you and lovely to meet you.

Tom

[Sandi K]

Hi, I couldn't watch the news for several months after my NASAH. Nor could I watch any tV shows that caused stress or anxiety. No loud noises, no yelling. Anything monotone, calm, happy endings was ok. I think the brain hemorrhage is enough trauma for awhile and it's no wonder we don't want to subject ourselves to anymore!

Hugs

Sandi K.

[Liz D]

Hi Tom

Good luck with the angio on Thursday. I was beside myself with anxiety for my follow up angio and that was 12 months after my coiling, I'm not surprised that your dreading it with it being so soon after your operation. But look what you did get through 7 weeks ago, so you can get through this.

I too have never really felt 'lucky' for having to have gone through all this and it took me a long time for the anxiety to lessen.

My advice would be to accept all offers of help. Don't cancel your appointment with Mental Health, go along and see what they can offer you. I work for mental health and in our department, the first thing after we receive a referral from a GP, is to book the patient in for an assessment. This is done by a psychologist and psychiatrist and I'm afraid they ask quite a few questions but they're needed to make sure that the patient gets the right treatment. They need to know if it's low mood, mild depression or a deep depression and gear the treatment appropriately. If the patient is referred to psychology, they are told they can have 6 appointments but patients are never discharged until they are well, so however many appointments they need they get.

Have you let any of your family have a look at this site? Maybe it might help them understand that how you are feeling can be very common amongst SAH survivors and how in time most of us have made great leaps.

Take care.

[Teechur]

Hi, I couldn't watch the news for several months after my NASAH. Nor could I watch any tV shows that caused stress or anxiety. No loud noises, no yelling. Anything monotone, calm, happy endings was ok. I think the brain hemorrhage is enough trauma for awhile and it's no wonder we don't want to subject ourselves to anymore!

Hugs

Sandi K.

For some reason I have been fascinated with true crime and true medical shows since getting home. I think it's because they follow a certain pattern and it interests me, and if I fall asleep...no biggie! There's always a new murder or something on in another 20 minutes. When my doctor told me to take off two weeks my husband said "Wow! Now you can stay home and watch Discovery ID all day every day!"

I did find a show yesterday that was fascinating, but found I could only listen and not watch because it had too many quick cuts and "fake" TV interference. So I put in my ear buds listening to it and took a nap while episodes played on Netflix.

Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment, although I really prefer NOT to watch the news. Maybe it's because the shows I watch all are resolved. Most of them actually catch the person who did it. The news doesn't work that way.

[Louise]

From the day I got out of hospital I've never watched a single soap coronation street/eastenders/emmerdale ect.....

[mshawx_head]

I've just posted under one of the other threads about whether anyone else has had problems listening to music - either any music, but mostly the kind of thing you really used to enjoy. I'm guessing from the above comments, its probably quite a common issue. When was anyone able to listen to music again - what sort and for how long ?

I read Tom's comment about not being able to listen to the news - yes, I went through a period of that too. Now I think I just don't want to listen because news is generally so negative here in the UK, that it makes you feel depressed in any case - and that's without all the complications our brain trauma gives us !

I think we all go through bad periods, but if its going on for more than a day or so, then its vital to talk to a professional and get help. And as we know, you can rely on some honest feedback and advice from the people who visit this website.

Mags